Jess sat on the bridge thinking about her. Luke gave him a break and Jess
went straight there. He needed the peace, the tranquil effect this place
had on him. He closed his eyes and images of Rory filled his mind. Images
of her in his bed wearing less and less each time he imagined it, smiling
at him, saying his name, her trembling body pressed up against his. He
pushed the thoughts from his mind and tried to remember Rory as she really
was. Her innocence. It only made him want her more.
He stared at the water.
Doubts plagued him. Jess was not a believer in happy endings and it was hard for him to believe that Rory would choose him over Dean. He prepared himself for Rory telling him that it was a mistake. His mind remembered how she recoiled from him after their first kiss. How fast she ran..................he clenched his fist.
All thoughts of anger drifted away when he saw her.
Rory came to the bridge hoping he might be there. She thought Jess looked young sitting on the bridge with his legs dangling over the side. She almost didn't want to disturb him but the look on his face was as if he was upset.....in anger or great pain. Rory was disturbed by it. Without saying anything she walked across the bridge and sat down next to him.
There was silence between them. A cold breeze hit their backs and interrupted their thoughts. Rory shuddered and Jess noticed it. He thought about putting his arm around her and pulling her to him. He wanted to......but he didn't.
"I got your letter, via Lane yesterday." Rory thought it best to be direct. She glanced at Jess, but his face remained stoic. He said nothing. "After I read it, I couldn't go back to the wake and everyone else for an hour. I couldn't even move." Jess closed his eyes at her words. Warmth spread everywhere and Jess told himself to hold on to this moment.
It was one of the happiest of his life.
"So you liked it?" Jess just wanted to hear her say she liked it. That was all, everything else was unnecessary. If she would tell him that, he thought he could die happy.
"I loved it. I memorized it. Both of them actually." Jess moved his hand slowly towards Rory's lap and took her hand in his. Their hands lay rested on the bridge, in the space between them. Jess slowly intertwined their fingers. Rory looked at Jess' face but he was looking at their hand holding. He didn't believe it was happening.
"You know I've.....I've never written anything like that before. Ever." And he hadn't. Jess found it hard to believe that he really had. He never, in his entire life, considered himself to bet the type of guy that wrote romantic letters to a girl. And yet he was.
"I'm glad you did."
"Yeah?" Jess lifted his head and looked Rory in the eyes. So beautiful and blue that it almost hurt to look at them. He smiled though. He couldn't help it.
"Yeah."
The only part of their bodies touching was their hands. And they were both very aware of it. Jess started to rub circles with his thumb on her palm. Rory looked away from Jess to the water. It was too intense..all these emotions. Just by holding his hand a heat spread all over her body. Her blood was boiling. She could feel his eyes on her but when she glanced at Jess but he was looking at the water.
Rory looked Jess over out of the corner of her eye. He was wearing a blue jacket and a t-shirt underneath with jeans. Rory looked at his neck, the only skin showing. Jess even seemed to have muscles everywhere. Rory wanted to kiss him there, taste his skin with her tongue. She felt herself blushing and looked at the water. She tried to banish the thoughts from her mind but she couldn't.
"I should go," Rory said suddenly. Jess turned to her sharply at her words. He didn't want her to go. Thoughts ran through his head at a rapid pace: maybe I shouldn't have held her hand, maybe she realizes she wants Dean, maybe she is going to Dean, maybe this is as far as I will ever get with her......
"Before this happens......" Rory squeezed his hand and then continued, ".....there are some things I should take care of first." Jess nodded his head with full understanding but didn't stop staring. Rory felt herself go weak underneath his gaze. She felt powerless to stop what was about to happen.
Jess couldn't help himself.
He leaned in and brushed his lips lightly to hers. He felt her take a breath on his lips and he let her linger there, savoring the moment. Rory kissed him again. It was soft and sweet. Jess pulled her closer and Rory became wrapped up in his arms. They were kissing slowly, drinking each other in. Rory opened her lips and Jess dove in.
She felt all reason escape her as Jess explored her mouth. Rory had never been kissed like this, with such intensity. Jess felt his blood burning and his heart pounding in his chest. He heard a soft moan escape her as they kissed and he thought he was suffocating from desire. Unable to hold back the kiss was deepened and they fell back on the bridge.
He was desperate for her lips, her taste. He moved on top of her to gain better access and Rory's hips gave a small jolt and Jess leaned in more. Her right hand's fingers were threaded in Jess' hair and her left hand was lying lightly on his chest.
They broke apart briefly to breathe and then joined. Jess moved in closer, warmer, deeper in her mouth and Rory moaned again. Jess's lips left hers and started kissing her neck. Warm. Dry. Rory thought he might leave a mark.
Jess wanted to taste all of her. He was addicted. He couldn't get enough. Her skin was so soft and so smooth, like porcelain. He kissed her collarbones and found a vein to suck on. Rory realized at that moment while Jess was kissing her neck that Jess was on top of her, on the bridge......a public place. That this was how people lose control, this was passion. She felt a heat crawl slowly up her thighs, through her hips and to her spine. Rory gasped and Jess covered her mouth again.
Rory didn't want to stop. It felt so good to be wrapped up inside him, warm and safe. Everything bad faded away and things made sense again. Her hand slipped down his chest feeling the muscles underneath the layer of cloth, burning a trail on Jess' skin. They parted again, locking eyes, their breathing erratic. Rory trembled, she wanted more.
Jess kissed her again. It was slow, soft and wet. Then he was kissing her cheeks, her eyes, her nose, her forehead. She sighed in contentment. The kisses were tender and sweet. Jess leaned back, staring hard at her. If he didn't stop then, he wouldn't stop ever. He told himself not here, not like this. Rory's cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen and her eyes were glazed over with desire.
Jess moved off of her and helped her up. They stood facing each other, still breathing heavily. Jess couldn't think of anything to say. Everything that came to mind was either really cheesy or completely complacent. But he felt guilty.
"I'm sorry. I... uh ....shouldn't have kissed you." Jess didn't want her to be scared of him. To Jess that was the worst thing in the world.
"It's okay. I wanted to be kissed." Rory didn't want it to be like the last kiss. Where everything was confusing and horrible afterwards. She wanted this; she wanted him.
"It's just that I haven't been able to talk to you and I...missed you." He really did. It had only been a few days since they said goodbye in the apartment but so much had happened to both of them since then.
"I've missed you too." They were standing a few feet apart. And both wanted to close the distance.
"Have you been alright?" He decided to try and have a normal conversation. Jess really had been worried about Rory and how she was really doing. Sometimes Rory was so secretive that he couldn't tell. And now, his whole life now seemed to revolve around her. Every thought he had came back to her and it was driving him crazy. Especially when he thought about her upset and in pain.
"Yeah, it's been rough but it's getting better. The shock of it is over and everybody keeps saying that you just got to move on. I really don't know what I am supposed to move on to. Cause I think people just use that saying when they don't know what else to say." Rory stopped there; she always rambled when she felt awkward. But what she said was true. For her, the worst part was watching him die.
"Any nightmares?"
"No. My dreams have been strange though."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but when I wake up I can' really remember them. I just have that feeling."
"Yeah, I hate that, waking up with that strange feeling."
"Yeah." Rory could never remember saying "yeah" so much in her life. Jess stared at her.
"Well I should go. Luke gave me a fifteen minute break forty minutes ago." He took a few steps backward still staring at Rory. He didn't want to leave her.
"I'll see you around Jess." Rory smiled at him. And that was all it took for Jess. He smirked and turned and walked back to the diner, thinking about her. Rory watched Jess walk away, wishing she was walking with him. She stayed at the bridge for a while staring at the water.....working up the courage to see Dean.
He stared at the water.
Doubts plagued him. Jess was not a believer in happy endings and it was hard for him to believe that Rory would choose him over Dean. He prepared himself for Rory telling him that it was a mistake. His mind remembered how she recoiled from him after their first kiss. How fast she ran..................he clenched his fist.
All thoughts of anger drifted away when he saw her.
Rory came to the bridge hoping he might be there. She thought Jess looked young sitting on the bridge with his legs dangling over the side. She almost didn't want to disturb him but the look on his face was as if he was upset.....in anger or great pain. Rory was disturbed by it. Without saying anything she walked across the bridge and sat down next to him.
There was silence between them. A cold breeze hit their backs and interrupted their thoughts. Rory shuddered and Jess noticed it. He thought about putting his arm around her and pulling her to him. He wanted to......but he didn't.
"I got your letter, via Lane yesterday." Rory thought it best to be direct. She glanced at Jess, but his face remained stoic. He said nothing. "After I read it, I couldn't go back to the wake and everyone else for an hour. I couldn't even move." Jess closed his eyes at her words. Warmth spread everywhere and Jess told himself to hold on to this moment.
It was one of the happiest of his life.
"So you liked it?" Jess just wanted to hear her say she liked it. That was all, everything else was unnecessary. If she would tell him that, he thought he could die happy.
"I loved it. I memorized it. Both of them actually." Jess moved his hand slowly towards Rory's lap and took her hand in his. Their hands lay rested on the bridge, in the space between them. Jess slowly intertwined their fingers. Rory looked at Jess' face but he was looking at their hand holding. He didn't believe it was happening.
"You know I've.....I've never written anything like that before. Ever." And he hadn't. Jess found it hard to believe that he really had. He never, in his entire life, considered himself to bet the type of guy that wrote romantic letters to a girl. And yet he was.
"I'm glad you did."
"Yeah?" Jess lifted his head and looked Rory in the eyes. So beautiful and blue that it almost hurt to look at them. He smiled though. He couldn't help it.
"Yeah."
The only part of their bodies touching was their hands. And they were both very aware of it. Jess started to rub circles with his thumb on her palm. Rory looked away from Jess to the water. It was too intense..all these emotions. Just by holding his hand a heat spread all over her body. Her blood was boiling. She could feel his eyes on her but when she glanced at Jess but he was looking at the water.
Rory looked Jess over out of the corner of her eye. He was wearing a blue jacket and a t-shirt underneath with jeans. Rory looked at his neck, the only skin showing. Jess even seemed to have muscles everywhere. Rory wanted to kiss him there, taste his skin with her tongue. She felt herself blushing and looked at the water. She tried to banish the thoughts from her mind but she couldn't.
"I should go," Rory said suddenly. Jess turned to her sharply at her words. He didn't want her to go. Thoughts ran through his head at a rapid pace: maybe I shouldn't have held her hand, maybe she realizes she wants Dean, maybe she is going to Dean, maybe this is as far as I will ever get with her......
"Before this happens......" Rory squeezed his hand and then continued, ".....there are some things I should take care of first." Jess nodded his head with full understanding but didn't stop staring. Rory felt herself go weak underneath his gaze. She felt powerless to stop what was about to happen.
Jess couldn't help himself.
He leaned in and brushed his lips lightly to hers. He felt her take a breath on his lips and he let her linger there, savoring the moment. Rory kissed him again. It was soft and sweet. Jess pulled her closer and Rory became wrapped up in his arms. They were kissing slowly, drinking each other in. Rory opened her lips and Jess dove in.
She felt all reason escape her as Jess explored her mouth. Rory had never been kissed like this, with such intensity. Jess felt his blood burning and his heart pounding in his chest. He heard a soft moan escape her as they kissed and he thought he was suffocating from desire. Unable to hold back the kiss was deepened and they fell back on the bridge.
He was desperate for her lips, her taste. He moved on top of her to gain better access and Rory's hips gave a small jolt and Jess leaned in more. Her right hand's fingers were threaded in Jess' hair and her left hand was lying lightly on his chest.
They broke apart briefly to breathe and then joined. Jess moved in closer, warmer, deeper in her mouth and Rory moaned again. Jess's lips left hers and started kissing her neck. Warm. Dry. Rory thought he might leave a mark.
Jess wanted to taste all of her. He was addicted. He couldn't get enough. Her skin was so soft and so smooth, like porcelain. He kissed her collarbones and found a vein to suck on. Rory realized at that moment while Jess was kissing her neck that Jess was on top of her, on the bridge......a public place. That this was how people lose control, this was passion. She felt a heat crawl slowly up her thighs, through her hips and to her spine. Rory gasped and Jess covered her mouth again.
Rory didn't want to stop. It felt so good to be wrapped up inside him, warm and safe. Everything bad faded away and things made sense again. Her hand slipped down his chest feeling the muscles underneath the layer of cloth, burning a trail on Jess' skin. They parted again, locking eyes, their breathing erratic. Rory trembled, she wanted more.
Jess kissed her again. It was slow, soft and wet. Then he was kissing her cheeks, her eyes, her nose, her forehead. She sighed in contentment. The kisses were tender and sweet. Jess leaned back, staring hard at her. If he didn't stop then, he wouldn't stop ever. He told himself not here, not like this. Rory's cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen and her eyes were glazed over with desire.
Jess moved off of her and helped her up. They stood facing each other, still breathing heavily. Jess couldn't think of anything to say. Everything that came to mind was either really cheesy or completely complacent. But he felt guilty.
"I'm sorry. I... uh ....shouldn't have kissed you." Jess didn't want her to be scared of him. To Jess that was the worst thing in the world.
"It's okay. I wanted to be kissed." Rory didn't want it to be like the last kiss. Where everything was confusing and horrible afterwards. She wanted this; she wanted him.
"It's just that I haven't been able to talk to you and I...missed you." He really did. It had only been a few days since they said goodbye in the apartment but so much had happened to both of them since then.
"I've missed you too." They were standing a few feet apart. And both wanted to close the distance.
"Have you been alright?" He decided to try and have a normal conversation. Jess really had been worried about Rory and how she was really doing. Sometimes Rory was so secretive that he couldn't tell. And now, his whole life now seemed to revolve around her. Every thought he had came back to her and it was driving him crazy. Especially when he thought about her upset and in pain.
"Yeah, it's been rough but it's getting better. The shock of it is over and everybody keeps saying that you just got to move on. I really don't know what I am supposed to move on to. Cause I think people just use that saying when they don't know what else to say." Rory stopped there; she always rambled when she felt awkward. But what she said was true. For her, the worst part was watching him die.
"Any nightmares?"
"No. My dreams have been strange though."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but when I wake up I can' really remember them. I just have that feeling."
"Yeah, I hate that, waking up with that strange feeling."
"Yeah." Rory could never remember saying "yeah" so much in her life. Jess stared at her.
"Well I should go. Luke gave me a fifteen minute break forty minutes ago." He took a few steps backward still staring at Rory. He didn't want to leave her.
"I'll see you around Jess." Rory smiled at him. And that was all it took for Jess. He smirked and turned and walked back to the diner, thinking about her. Rory watched Jess walk away, wishing she was walking with him. She stayed at the bridge for a while staring at the water.....working up the courage to see Dean.