Pairing: Rory/Jess
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the words are mine...
Author's Note: This chapter was really hard to write. I hope you guys like it.
Jess walked briskly through Stars Hollow. Glancing around, he noted the smiling people and pleasant atmosphere. He could never belong there; he could never be one of those smiling people. Even if he wanted to, which he didn't, he couldn't because of everything that he came from. And not just geographically speaking.
There were people like that in New York. They were harder to find of course, but they existed. People who believed in happily ever after. People who do things because they are nice. People who are polite to everyone not because they have to. People who always say what they mean. People who are innocent.
People like Rory.
Actually Jess had never met anyone like Rory. Ever. He had met girls who were innocent before.but Rory wasn't entirely innocent. He had met girls who were very intelligent before.but Rory wasn't just a brain. He had met girls who were well read.and met girls who had good taste in music. He had met girls who could keep up with his verbal banter.but Rory did it without any effort at all. To top it all off she was beautiful. Undeniably so. Rory could wear a paper sack and still look stunning. It amazed him.
Rory was everything he could ever want.
Jess knew that now. She was the one. She was the one every other girl would always be compared to. He loved her the first moment he saw her in her room sitting at her computer and he didn't even know it. From that first meeting she had a power over him and Jess felt like he was at her mercy. She could make him do anything she wanted. This was terrifying to Jess.
He was going to her now.
Jess heard that Rory had broken up with Dean and yet he hadn't seen her since their last meeting at the bridge. It had been a few days. She hadn't come into the diner with her mom. She hadn't called. She hadn't even been seen around town.
Jess was tired of waiting. He had waited the entire summer. He had waited for her all the previous year. And Jess was not normally a patient person. And Jess knew that being able to be with Rory would be worth everything. But even he had his limit. He wanted.needed to be with her. As Jess walked he thought that if it didn't happen then than it would never happen. He had to know. It was now or never for him.
As Jess approached the Gilmore house the sun had finished setting and it was that brief time of dusk. The transition from day to night, light to dark. Before the stars faded into existence and after the last red and purple streaks vanish from the sky. He knocked. Nervously Jess jammed his hands in his pockets when the door was opened.
"Oh.Hello."
"Hey, is Rory home?" Jess had expected this. He knew that Lorelai would probably be there. He had prepared himself.
"Yeah come in." Jess stepped inside and followed Lorelai toward the kitchen and toward Rory's room.
"Rory you have company." Rory stepped out of her room when she heard her mother's voice.
"Hi." Jess felt paralyzed when he saw her. Her hair was up but messily. Jess had never seen her like her hair like that. She was standing barefoot wearing her school uniform skirt and button down blouse in her doorway. But Jess noted that she wasn't wearing the sweater or tie or stockings she normally wears with them. Knowing that she had discarded some of her clothing was distracting for Jess.
"Hi." Rory smiled awkwardly and tore her eyes away from Jess. She did not expect him there, and she was surprised. But also scared.
"Do you wanna.?" Rory motioned for Jess to come in her room and he walked past her. His body brushing up against her slightly leaving them both very aware. His eyes never left hers. Rory glanced at her mom and shut the door.
"So here we are." Jess had forgotten why he came. He had forgotten everything once he laid eyes on her. He felt like an idiot. Her presence had this much effect on him.
"Yep, here we are." Rory also couldn't find words at that moment. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. And avoided Jess' eyes.
"Homework?" Jess looked down at Rory's desk filled with spiral notebooks opened.
"Yeah, I have a lot of catching up to do." Rory was grateful for the conversation. But it was strange having Jess alone in her room with the door shut. No matter where she looked, Rory was either looking at Jess or at the bed.
"And is all that homework too?" Jess was also looking at the bed. But he was more concerned with the piles of books on it and her empty shelves.
"No that's not homework. I.uh.realized that I really needed to organize my shelves so that's what I am doing. It's by genre." Rory had started the project after becoming frustrated that all she could think about was him. Reorganizing her books was a poor distraction though; every book she picked up reminded her in some way of Jess.
"Huh." Jess looked over the titles. But he wasn't thinking of the books. He was contemplating how long they would keep this small talk up.
"You could.um.help me with it..if..you want to." Rory met Jess's eyes. Her meaning was clear.
"Okay." Jess' voice was soft and sincere. He took a few steps near her and Rory's heart began to pound. About a foot from her he stopped when he heard a knock and Lorelai opened the door.
"Rory I am going to Sookie's. I will be back around ten, eleven at the latest." Lorelai didn't really need to go to Sookie's. But she wanted to do something nice for her daughter. Even if it involved Jess.
"Okay. I am staying in tonight so ...tell her I said hi." Jess caught the look Rory gave him when she said she was staying in. He felt his blood rush at rapid speeds, he was going to be alone with Rory in her room.near her bed.without interruption for a few hours.
"I will. Bye."
"Bye." Rory turned back to Jess after her mom shut the door. The air was different and Jess was almost smiling.
They began re-shelving. Silently Jess gathered books qualified as Harlem Renaissance and put them next to her small but respectful Beat collection. Rory grabbed Plato's The Republic, the top book off the philosophy pile she had made, and attempted to put it on the highest shelf. She had to get on her tip toes and she could barely reach. Rory didn't want to look like a child in front of Jess so she put the book down quickly and pretended it didn't happen.
She gasped when she felt Jess behind her.
Jess saw her fail to put a book on the top shelf. He thought it was cute the way she reached and scrunched up her face in concentration. As a guy though, he saw his opportunity. He moved behind her so that his chest was pressed to her back. He felt her body stiffen and heard the sharp intake of breath. Rory turned and faced him.
Holding her gaze Jess reached behind her and grabbed the book she had put down in frustration. Rory couldn't breathe. They were so close. Silently, Jess reached up and put the book on the top shelf, only looking away from Rory for an instant. When he did so he had to lean in to reach and their faces were only centimeters apart.
Jess put his arms up on either side of her face against the bookcase. Trapping Rory. She was still holding the other book she had picked up. It was Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman. Fitting, Rory thought.
"Is it true you broke up with Dean?" Jess' voice was soft and slow. He was looking at Rory intently and she was looking down.
"Yes." Rory said it breathlessly. Her chest was rising up and down, and her breathing was erratic. Overcome with unfamiliar emotions rushing through her body, her skin.
"Why?" Jess needed to hear her say it.
"Well....we......had....grown apart. And.....were heading. ......in two different directions." Rory still couldn't look Jess in the eye. She was scared of what would happen.
"Different directions? That's it."
"Yes and also......I........." Rory couldn't finish. She tried to turn away and put Walt Whitman in the poetry section but Jess grabbed the book from her easily and dropped it to the floor. His arms went back to their previous position.
"You what?" Jess' voice was stronger now, eager for her answer.
"I didn't......I didn't.......love him anymore." Rory lifted her head and looked Jess in the eye. He swallowed hard. Everything he wanted was so close. Finally within reach.
"Why not?" Jess kept staring at her hard and Rory grew frustrated.
"You know why!"
"Tell me."
"I........." Rory was still breathing hard. She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes. If she said what she wanted to say, how she truly felt.......then there would be no turning back.
"Please." Jess's voice was soft. He hated to beg, he hardly ever said please for anything. Rory opened her eyes at his words. At the tenderness of his voice. She looked him straight in the eyes. And took a deep breath.
"Because of you. Because I love you."
The effect those words had on Jess were immediate. He had hoped and thought about Rory telling him this, but for her to actually say those words to him was so powerful Jess thought he might collapse. He dropped his head. Letting the words sink in.
"You love me?"
"Yes. I love you Jess." Rory reached out and cupped his cheek and Jess leaned into it, tilting his head. Their lips met. Jess' hands wandered up and down her back and through her hair. Rory wrapped her arms around Jess' neck and the kiss was deepened. Her lips were so soft that Jess couldn't get enough. He pushed forward and Rory was backed up against the book shelf.
Jess pulled away to tell her, "God Rory.......I love you too." Rory smiled. And they kissed again. Jess took a few steps backward toward the bed. He knew what he wanted but he wasn't sure if he should. Rory took steps with him. Never breaking their kisses they fell on the bed. Jess let go of her to push the books from under them. Rory hardly even noticed it. She was so caught up in the kissing, in how close their bodies were. She felt him everywhere. Jess left her lips and started to kiss her neck.
It's the same spot he kissed before, Rory thought. Jess loved her neck. Loved tasting her skin. He felt her pulling on his shirt. She was trying to take it off. He sat up partly and pulled it over her head. Their brief separation allowed reason to creep back in. Jess stared at Rory, not knowing if he should continue. She was lying on the bed, beautiful, looking back up at him.
Thoughts came at Rory at lightening speed. She knew that it was too soon, too much. But she wanted to......needed to so much. She thought about stopping. Rory smiled and reached up with both arms and encircled his neck pulling Jess back down.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the words are mine...
Author's Note: This chapter was really hard to write. I hope you guys like it.
Jess walked briskly through Stars Hollow. Glancing around, he noted the smiling people and pleasant atmosphere. He could never belong there; he could never be one of those smiling people. Even if he wanted to, which he didn't, he couldn't because of everything that he came from. And not just geographically speaking.
There were people like that in New York. They were harder to find of course, but they existed. People who believed in happily ever after. People who do things because they are nice. People who are polite to everyone not because they have to. People who always say what they mean. People who are innocent.
People like Rory.
Actually Jess had never met anyone like Rory. Ever. He had met girls who were innocent before.but Rory wasn't entirely innocent. He had met girls who were very intelligent before.but Rory wasn't just a brain. He had met girls who were well read.and met girls who had good taste in music. He had met girls who could keep up with his verbal banter.but Rory did it without any effort at all. To top it all off she was beautiful. Undeniably so. Rory could wear a paper sack and still look stunning. It amazed him.
Rory was everything he could ever want.
Jess knew that now. She was the one. She was the one every other girl would always be compared to. He loved her the first moment he saw her in her room sitting at her computer and he didn't even know it. From that first meeting she had a power over him and Jess felt like he was at her mercy. She could make him do anything she wanted. This was terrifying to Jess.
He was going to her now.
Jess heard that Rory had broken up with Dean and yet he hadn't seen her since their last meeting at the bridge. It had been a few days. She hadn't come into the diner with her mom. She hadn't called. She hadn't even been seen around town.
Jess was tired of waiting. He had waited the entire summer. He had waited for her all the previous year. And Jess was not normally a patient person. And Jess knew that being able to be with Rory would be worth everything. But even he had his limit. He wanted.needed to be with her. As Jess walked he thought that if it didn't happen then than it would never happen. He had to know. It was now or never for him.
As Jess approached the Gilmore house the sun had finished setting and it was that brief time of dusk. The transition from day to night, light to dark. Before the stars faded into existence and after the last red and purple streaks vanish from the sky. He knocked. Nervously Jess jammed his hands in his pockets when the door was opened.
"Oh.Hello."
"Hey, is Rory home?" Jess had expected this. He knew that Lorelai would probably be there. He had prepared himself.
"Yeah come in." Jess stepped inside and followed Lorelai toward the kitchen and toward Rory's room.
"Rory you have company." Rory stepped out of her room when she heard her mother's voice.
"Hi." Jess felt paralyzed when he saw her. Her hair was up but messily. Jess had never seen her like her hair like that. She was standing barefoot wearing her school uniform skirt and button down blouse in her doorway. But Jess noted that she wasn't wearing the sweater or tie or stockings she normally wears with them. Knowing that she had discarded some of her clothing was distracting for Jess.
"Hi." Rory smiled awkwardly and tore her eyes away from Jess. She did not expect him there, and she was surprised. But also scared.
"Do you wanna.?" Rory motioned for Jess to come in her room and he walked past her. His body brushing up against her slightly leaving them both very aware. His eyes never left hers. Rory glanced at her mom and shut the door.
"So here we are." Jess had forgotten why he came. He had forgotten everything once he laid eyes on her. He felt like an idiot. Her presence had this much effect on him.
"Yep, here we are." Rory also couldn't find words at that moment. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. And avoided Jess' eyes.
"Homework?" Jess looked down at Rory's desk filled with spiral notebooks opened.
"Yeah, I have a lot of catching up to do." Rory was grateful for the conversation. But it was strange having Jess alone in her room with the door shut. No matter where she looked, Rory was either looking at Jess or at the bed.
"And is all that homework too?" Jess was also looking at the bed. But he was more concerned with the piles of books on it and her empty shelves.
"No that's not homework. I.uh.realized that I really needed to organize my shelves so that's what I am doing. It's by genre." Rory had started the project after becoming frustrated that all she could think about was him. Reorganizing her books was a poor distraction though; every book she picked up reminded her in some way of Jess.
"Huh." Jess looked over the titles. But he wasn't thinking of the books. He was contemplating how long they would keep this small talk up.
"You could.um.help me with it..if..you want to." Rory met Jess's eyes. Her meaning was clear.
"Okay." Jess' voice was soft and sincere. He took a few steps near her and Rory's heart began to pound. About a foot from her he stopped when he heard a knock and Lorelai opened the door.
"Rory I am going to Sookie's. I will be back around ten, eleven at the latest." Lorelai didn't really need to go to Sookie's. But she wanted to do something nice for her daughter. Even if it involved Jess.
"Okay. I am staying in tonight so ...tell her I said hi." Jess caught the look Rory gave him when she said she was staying in. He felt his blood rush at rapid speeds, he was going to be alone with Rory in her room.near her bed.without interruption for a few hours.
"I will. Bye."
"Bye." Rory turned back to Jess after her mom shut the door. The air was different and Jess was almost smiling.
They began re-shelving. Silently Jess gathered books qualified as Harlem Renaissance and put them next to her small but respectful Beat collection. Rory grabbed Plato's The Republic, the top book off the philosophy pile she had made, and attempted to put it on the highest shelf. She had to get on her tip toes and she could barely reach. Rory didn't want to look like a child in front of Jess so she put the book down quickly and pretended it didn't happen.
She gasped when she felt Jess behind her.
Jess saw her fail to put a book on the top shelf. He thought it was cute the way she reached and scrunched up her face in concentration. As a guy though, he saw his opportunity. He moved behind her so that his chest was pressed to her back. He felt her body stiffen and heard the sharp intake of breath. Rory turned and faced him.
Holding her gaze Jess reached behind her and grabbed the book she had put down in frustration. Rory couldn't breathe. They were so close. Silently, Jess reached up and put the book on the top shelf, only looking away from Rory for an instant. When he did so he had to lean in to reach and their faces were only centimeters apart.
Jess put his arms up on either side of her face against the bookcase. Trapping Rory. She was still holding the other book she had picked up. It was Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman. Fitting, Rory thought.
"Is it true you broke up with Dean?" Jess' voice was soft and slow. He was looking at Rory intently and she was looking down.
"Yes." Rory said it breathlessly. Her chest was rising up and down, and her breathing was erratic. Overcome with unfamiliar emotions rushing through her body, her skin.
"Why?" Jess needed to hear her say it.
"Well....we......had....grown apart. And.....were heading. ......in two different directions." Rory still couldn't look Jess in the eye. She was scared of what would happen.
"Different directions? That's it."
"Yes and also......I........." Rory couldn't finish. She tried to turn away and put Walt Whitman in the poetry section but Jess grabbed the book from her easily and dropped it to the floor. His arms went back to their previous position.
"You what?" Jess' voice was stronger now, eager for her answer.
"I didn't......I didn't.......love him anymore." Rory lifted her head and looked Jess in the eye. He swallowed hard. Everything he wanted was so close. Finally within reach.
"Why not?" Jess kept staring at her hard and Rory grew frustrated.
"You know why!"
"Tell me."
"I........." Rory was still breathing hard. She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes. If she said what she wanted to say, how she truly felt.......then there would be no turning back.
"Please." Jess's voice was soft. He hated to beg, he hardly ever said please for anything. Rory opened her eyes at his words. At the tenderness of his voice. She looked him straight in the eyes. And took a deep breath.
"Because of you. Because I love you."
The effect those words had on Jess were immediate. He had hoped and thought about Rory telling him this, but for her to actually say those words to him was so powerful Jess thought he might collapse. He dropped his head. Letting the words sink in.
"You love me?"
"Yes. I love you Jess." Rory reached out and cupped his cheek and Jess leaned into it, tilting his head. Their lips met. Jess' hands wandered up and down her back and through her hair. Rory wrapped her arms around Jess' neck and the kiss was deepened. Her lips were so soft that Jess couldn't get enough. He pushed forward and Rory was backed up against the book shelf.
Jess pulled away to tell her, "God Rory.......I love you too." Rory smiled. And they kissed again. Jess took a few steps backward toward the bed. He knew what he wanted but he wasn't sure if he should. Rory took steps with him. Never breaking their kisses they fell on the bed. Jess let go of her to push the books from under them. Rory hardly even noticed it. She was so caught up in the kissing, in how close their bodies were. She felt him everywhere. Jess left her lips and started to kiss her neck.
It's the same spot he kissed before, Rory thought. Jess loved her neck. Loved tasting her skin. He felt her pulling on his shirt. She was trying to take it off. He sat up partly and pulled it over her head. Their brief separation allowed reason to creep back in. Jess stared at Rory, not knowing if he should continue. She was lying on the bed, beautiful, looking back up at him.
Thoughts came at Rory at lightening speed. She knew that it was too soon, too much. But she wanted to......needed to so much. She thought about stopping. Rory smiled and reached up with both arms and encircled his neck pulling Jess back down.