Disclaimers: Not mine

Spoilers: A little bit of Grissom's secret from The Hunger Artist

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NOT TODAY

15 years. That was how long he and Catherine had known each other. Had worked together. Had bonded. He hated admitting needing anything or anyone but he needed her like he had never needed anyone else.


"Hey."

"Hi, I thought you went home?"

"Lindsey's with my sister for the night. I don't have to rush home."

"Oh."

"Are you busy?"

"Well, I have some paperwork..."

"We need to talk, Grissom."


Though she was his best friend, and he was sure he had some sort of status in her life, their relationship had never been a smooth ride. They made each other laugh as many times as they went at each other's throats. Maybe it was because they were so different. Or was it because they were so similar? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that if there was anyone who could mend his broken heart one second and then shatter it the next, it was Catherine.



"Is it really that important? I have a lot of paperwork..."

"This can't wait, Grissom."

"Fine, what is it that you want to talk about?"

"I think you know."


It had never been easy. He never dared to say it was. But no matter how hard things got, they had always managed to find middle ground. A compromise. But lately, that middle ground was nowhere to be found. And the laughter they were once able to induce in one another, was nowhere to be heard. It was like their friendship was gone.


"Catherine..."

"Dammit Grissom, why does it have to be like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like you don't even care anymore!"


Of course, he knew he had to take some responsibility for the deteriorated state of their relationship. He had pushed her away each and everytime she tried to talk to him, to care for him. Instead of allowing her to be a part of his life, he shut her out. And now he was paying for his actions with his friendship.


"That's not true..."

"Then why are you shutting me out?"

"I'm not."

"Then tell me what's wrong!"


But he had dug himself so deep into this hole, he didn't know how to climb back out. He couldn't turn back, it was too late. Fear. He felt it so strongly, he could taste it. He was afraid of losing his hearing. He was afraid of losing Catherine. He was afraid.


"Nothing's wrong, Catherine."

"Fine! Fine, I'm going home."


It was now or never. He had taken her for granted for so long. If he was going to lose his hearing, he wasn't about to let himself lose his best friend too. On a purely selfish note, he wasn't sure if he would be able to face the consequences all at once.


"Catherine."

"What?"

"Don't leave."

"What do you want from me, Grissom? You don't want me to leave but you don't want to talk to me either. What do you want?"

"I don't know. All I know is, I don't want to argue with you. Not today."


So another day goes by. Another day with my best friend by my side. I don't know how much longer she'll put up with me. I don't want to think about the day she decides she can't do it anymore. But at least for now, she's here.
*THE END*