I promised chapter 1, so here it is. I have to change the rating because chapter 2 gets a little less PG. So yeah. Anyway-
Chapter 1- The Magical Electric Current of Doom
"Mulder? Mulder! Are you listening?" Scully said exasperatedly.
"What! Yeah, sorry," he replied, starting. He looked down at the top of the table, then back up at Scully's expectant face. "No." Mulder had, in fact, tried to listen, but found himself lost in her eyes.
"Where did I lose you?"
"Somewhere around 'this'*."
(*A/N: Scully said, at the beginning of their conversation, "This is ridiculous." didn't take long for Mulder to get distracted, did it?)
Scully rolled her eyes. "I was saying, we've tried every door and window, and none will budge. We can't just stay here forever. There must be some logical reason for this."
(A/N: That depends on your definition of logic, Scully)
"Well, you can search for that reason. In the meantime, I'll have a look around this house." With that, Mulder left his partner tapping her foot impatiently.
Mulder was vastly disappointed with the structure of the building. There were no hidden passageways or secret compartments, no rooms filled with rare and important artifacts. Aside from the carved, welded, and sketched snakes everywhere, it appeared to be a mere everyday mansion. Sighing, Mulder turned to make his way down to the kitchen when he felt something disgustingly wet hit him in the back of the head. He reached up, making a face when he touched the moist, slimy object. Examining it, he found that it was a spitball. Making a strangled sound of disgust, he flung the wad of saliva-soaked paper across the hall.
"Ah, that was quite a wad, that was," a British accent said behind him.
"Will you *please* cut it out while we wait for Sirius?" a female British accent said, in a very Scully-esque manner.
A strange popping sound proceeded. After wiping the spit off his neck, Mulder turned to see an attractive, middle-aged man with dark hair appear between two teenagers in the hall. Mulder emitted a high-pitched yell as he fell backwards.
(A/N: like in Jose Chung's From Outer Space)
"Sirius, you said that the house would be empty," the girl on his left said. She had brown hair and a very know-it-all attitude. She crossed her arms as she peered up at the man.
"I expected it would be," he retorted. He narrowed his eyes at Mulder, sizing him up, and then offered a hand. Mulder accepted and was on his feet again a moment later.
"Thanks," he mumbled. "Um, I'm Mulder."
"Hello, Mulder. This is Hermione Granger," he indicated the girl, "Ron Weasley," he waved a hand at the red-haired boy, who was paying absolutely no attention. "I'm Sirius Black."
"Your name is Serious?" Mulder scratched his head where the spitball had hit.
"Yes, that's right," the man said absently. "Before we say anything else, I'm starved."
"Honestly, Sirius," Hermione said with a vocal eye roll.
"Hermione, there is always time for a snack. I'll go get some of my sunflower seeds."
Mulder froze. "What… *your* sunflower seeds?"
"Yep." Sirius started toward the kitchen. Mulder followed, his heart sinking. "I stored them here, one summer while I was still at Hogwarts."
Hogwarts? Mulder thought.
"I used to live close by- well, as close as any house is to this place. Peter and I used to come here all the time. Of course, when we met James, he joined us. Sometimes Lily would come, too. Oh, and of course Remus, when he was… well, you know…"
"Sirius," Hermione warned. He fell silent.
"Well, yes, so what brings you here, Mulder?"
"Well, my partner and I were here to catch a murderer," he began.
"Cripes!" Hermione shuddered.
"He's gone now," Mulder said quickly.
"For what?" Sirius asked.
"Huh?"
"What is he your partner for?"
"*She*," Mulder corrected. "The FBI."
"What, Frenzied Blokes In bikinis?" the boy named Ron said as he came up behind them. Sirius grinned and Hermione shook her head.
"No," Mulder said slowly. "Wouldn't that be FBIB?"
"Why?" Ron wondered, puzzled.
"Well, bikinis, you know, it starts with…" Mulder looked around at three confused faces and gave up. "Never mind. So we were here to get the murderer-"
"A murderer! Wow!" Ron said.
"Ron, really! Let the man finish!" Hermione scolded.
"And then when we tried to leave, none of the doors or windows would open."
A seed fell out of Sirius's hand, and Mulder rushed to scoop it up. How could the man waste a sunflower seed like that?
"None of them?" Ron asked incredulously.
"Are you sure you were pulling hard enough?" Hermione said, sounding quite the skeptic.
"Let me introduce you to my partner," he said to them, wandering from the kitchen. He found Scully in the living room, where the two of them had started out. "Scully, these are, um…"
"Sirius Black, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger," the girl said, indicating each in turn.
"What she said," Mulder told Scully. "And you three, this is my partner, Dana Scully. Special agent for the FBI," he added as an afterthought.
"The Frenzied Blokes In bikinis?" Sirius grinned.
Scully was hit with confusion. "What?"
"We already went over this," Mulder sighed.
"FBI is an acronym for Federal Bureau of Investigation," Scully explained, still confused.
"Well, that's a bit boring, eh?" Ron commented. He smiled wickedly. "You know what isn't boring, though. Sirius's middle name is I-"
"You even think about it, you'll crap porcupines for a week. Or maybe pineapples. Or both…" Sirius tapped his chin thoughtfully. Mulder shuddered at the mental image.
"Nice to meet you," Scully said in an indifferently confused voice. "Mulder, look at this. I found the old blueprints and deeds for the house. It was originally built hundreds of years ago, for a man called Salazaar Slytherin." She had a hard time pronouncing the name. The three Britons stopped dead. "It's been passed down and rebuilt by generations of people with strange names. But this last inheritance contract is strange. The man it came to disappeared, but according to these papers he still owns the house."
"What's the disappearing man's name?" Mulder asked, sneaking a sunflower seed.
"Tom Riddle," Scully replied, shuffling through the piles of old papers.
Sirius and Ron choked, and Hermione's eyes went wide as she gasped.
"What!" Sirius exclaimed. His eyes darted around, suddenly suspicious.
"I guess that explains the snakes," Ron muttered.
"Do you know him?" Scully asked.
Sirius turned very serious. "Everyone knows him."
"I don't," Mulder volunteered.
"They're Muggles, Sirius," Hermione reminded him.
"Ah, yes. In the wizarding world, there is a wizard who went bad. Very bad. His name growing up was Tom Marvolo Riddle. His name as an evil wizard is Lord Voldemort."
Hermione's countenance glowered at the name, and Ron winced. Apparently this name had meaning to them. It had none to either Mulder or Scully, but once Sirius's short speech had sunk in, Mulder said, "Wizards?"
"Yes, we are wizards," Sirius said. "And, of course, a witch," he said to Hermione's throat-clearing.
"Well, is there some kind of magic thingy you can do to unlock the doors?" Mulder wondered.
"Hermione, would you do the honors?" Sirius asked.
Serious-faced, she took out a long wooden wand. Concentrating very hard, she waved the wand and spoke clearly, "Alohomora!" Mulder and Scully exchanged a look. "Well, go on, try the door."
Mulder walked to the door, turned the handle, and pulled. Nothing happened. He pulled again. Nothing happened. He pulled again. Nothing happened. He turned from the door and looked at the others. "I don't think it worked."
"Try Disapparating," Ron suggested.
Sirius disappeared, and he reappeared again a second later. "Oh, my. I suppose that didn't work either," Tapping his chin, he thought of what might be causing this. "Hmm…no, that would…but maybe…it would have to be underneath…follow me." After pacing while he mused, Sirius gestured to the others as he searched for a staircase leading in a downward direction.
In a few minutes, all stood in the mansion's cellar, watching Sirius mutter spells to uncover the cause of their predicament. Eventually, a section of the floor was pulled out to reveal a contraption of wires and metal.
Surprised, Mulder bent to inspect it. He reported his findings to the others. "These wires are insulated electrical conductors. Under normal circumstances, we could walk on them and nothing would happen. You see how the insulation is punctured, here, and here? Vented in such a way, it produces and electric current with a span of approximately fourteen millimeters. What I don't understand, though, is that even with all these wires together, the current couldn't fill the basement."
"There is an Engorgement Charm around this," Sirius offered.
"An Engorgement Charm?" Scully repeated.
"Simply put, a spell that enlarges."
"How strong can this charm be?" Mulder asked.
"Depends on the wizard," Sirius said. "…or witch," he added to Hermione's throat-clearing.
"If what you say is true, can this charm be very strong? Hmm. Increased by the right amount, this current could extend to the exits to the house, fusing the openings. These wires are often used in electric fusion bombs, used to close off entire segments of buildings. Unless we can somehow reverse and defuse the current, I would say that the device is impossible to bypass."
Scully, who had been only mostly listening, said after the lapse of a moment, "What the HELL did you just say?"
Mulder looked up at her with deep green eyes. "We're fucked."
(A/N: that's right- GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!)
"Ah." Scully scanned the ceiling, as though looking for confirmation.
"Ah, yes. Well, that happens sometimes," Sirius said, with a very ponderous but hopelessly helpless look on his face. "We are going to have to do some Sirius thinking."
"You mean serious thinking?" Scully said absently.
"Sirius thinking. You know, where I…never mind." He began to wander to the opposite wall.
"But why can't we Disapparate?" Ron asked, rubbing his forehead in confusion.
"Magic is involved, Ron," Hermione said. "Listen, you know how electronic devices don't work inside Hogwarts grounds? Well, I think it works the other way around. Maybe the electricity is so strong that it interferes with our magic."
"All of it, or just magic having to do with leaving the mansion?" Ron wondered aloud.
Raising an eyebrow, Hermione produced her wand and muttered to herself. A life-sized tiger of smoke appeared. She whispered some more words, and a pleasant wind blew it away. "No, Ron, I think that our magic works if we're not trying to escape."
"That's good," Sirius said from mid-staircase. No one had seen him ascend the stairs, and none saw him return to the floor, but a moment later he bas back beside Hermione. "Why don't we try to use the counter charm? You too, Ron, you ought to know it by now."
All with doubtful looks, all pointed their wands and said a word. Mulder tried the door leading outside from the cellar. "Nope," he shrugged. Scully was still staring at the ceiling.
"Maybe our magic really won't work," Ron said worriedly.
Sirius shook his head. "I don't think it's that, either," Hermione agreed. "The spell must be triggered." Sirius, from the top of the stairs, disclosed his agreement. Hermione followed behind. Ron trotted after her, and after easing Scully from her ceiling trance, Mulder climbed the stairs.
"Well what is it?" Mulder asked.
"What is what?"
"The trigger," Mulder clarified, looking to Sirius and Hermione for the answer.
They exchanged glances. "Isn't it obvious?" Hermione said. Mulder shook his head. Rolling her eyes, Hermione gestured to the doorpost, and she touched one of the handles to a cabinet. "Parseltongue."
"What, we all have to eat parsley? Is there any parsley around here?" Mulder was confused.
"No, *Parsel*tongue. Not parsley. Parseltongue, the language of the snakes," Hermione explained exasperatedly.
"Snakes!" Mulder exclaimed.
"Yes, snakes," Sirius nodded. "Unfortunately, none of us have this talent. It seems that we really are stuck here."
"Harry, when he comes, he can get us out," Hermione said.
"Yeah! Like the Chamber of Secrets in our second year." Ron looked hopefully excited.
"Exactly." Hermione looked up at Sirius. "Um, shouldn't Harry be here by now?"
"Well, yes," Sirius answered. "But I wouldn't worry. He probably just got held up somewhere."
Looking worried, Ron nodded vigorously. "Yeah."
A shadowy figure passed the window. All five of them stared out into the darkening night.
"Maybe we should all go to bed," Sirius suggested. "We can figure this out tomorrow."
And so the five of them started toward the stairs. Once they had found the bedrooms, the three magically inclined persons slipped into separate rooms, leaving Mulder and Scully alone in the hallway.
"I'll be in this room, next to yours. If you need anything, just come in," Mulder said.
"Thanks," Scully replied. She looked up at Mulder. Mulder looked down at her. They looked at each other. Mulder wanted to close the space between them, but a moment later, Scully closed the door to her room.
Sighing, Mulder went to his own room and began to undress for bed.
(End)
Tantalizing. I'll leave you with this teaser for Chapter 2.
"Scully, you're wearing pink."
"I could get used to it."
"You're wearing tiny cartoon sheep."
Scully looked down at herself and shrugged. "It's not so bad."
Now, doesn't that interest you? Yeah, so anyone who got this far, please review.
Thanks to ShoeGal- Yay! My first and only review! I am glad you liked it.
Chapter 1- The Magical Electric Current of Doom
"Mulder? Mulder! Are you listening?" Scully said exasperatedly.
"What! Yeah, sorry," he replied, starting. He looked down at the top of the table, then back up at Scully's expectant face. "No." Mulder had, in fact, tried to listen, but found himself lost in her eyes.
"Where did I lose you?"
"Somewhere around 'this'*."
(*A/N: Scully said, at the beginning of their conversation, "This is ridiculous." didn't take long for Mulder to get distracted, did it?)
Scully rolled her eyes. "I was saying, we've tried every door and window, and none will budge. We can't just stay here forever. There must be some logical reason for this."
(A/N: That depends on your definition of logic, Scully)
"Well, you can search for that reason. In the meantime, I'll have a look around this house." With that, Mulder left his partner tapping her foot impatiently.
Mulder was vastly disappointed with the structure of the building. There were no hidden passageways or secret compartments, no rooms filled with rare and important artifacts. Aside from the carved, welded, and sketched snakes everywhere, it appeared to be a mere everyday mansion. Sighing, Mulder turned to make his way down to the kitchen when he felt something disgustingly wet hit him in the back of the head. He reached up, making a face when he touched the moist, slimy object. Examining it, he found that it was a spitball. Making a strangled sound of disgust, he flung the wad of saliva-soaked paper across the hall.
"Ah, that was quite a wad, that was," a British accent said behind him.
"Will you *please* cut it out while we wait for Sirius?" a female British accent said, in a very Scully-esque manner.
A strange popping sound proceeded. After wiping the spit off his neck, Mulder turned to see an attractive, middle-aged man with dark hair appear between two teenagers in the hall. Mulder emitted a high-pitched yell as he fell backwards.
(A/N: like in Jose Chung's From Outer Space)
"Sirius, you said that the house would be empty," the girl on his left said. She had brown hair and a very know-it-all attitude. She crossed her arms as she peered up at the man.
"I expected it would be," he retorted. He narrowed his eyes at Mulder, sizing him up, and then offered a hand. Mulder accepted and was on his feet again a moment later.
"Thanks," he mumbled. "Um, I'm Mulder."
"Hello, Mulder. This is Hermione Granger," he indicated the girl, "Ron Weasley," he waved a hand at the red-haired boy, who was paying absolutely no attention. "I'm Sirius Black."
"Your name is Serious?" Mulder scratched his head where the spitball had hit.
"Yes, that's right," the man said absently. "Before we say anything else, I'm starved."
"Honestly, Sirius," Hermione said with a vocal eye roll.
"Hermione, there is always time for a snack. I'll go get some of my sunflower seeds."
Mulder froze. "What… *your* sunflower seeds?"
"Yep." Sirius started toward the kitchen. Mulder followed, his heart sinking. "I stored them here, one summer while I was still at Hogwarts."
Hogwarts? Mulder thought.
"I used to live close by- well, as close as any house is to this place. Peter and I used to come here all the time. Of course, when we met James, he joined us. Sometimes Lily would come, too. Oh, and of course Remus, when he was… well, you know…"
"Sirius," Hermione warned. He fell silent.
"Well, yes, so what brings you here, Mulder?"
"Well, my partner and I were here to catch a murderer," he began.
"Cripes!" Hermione shuddered.
"He's gone now," Mulder said quickly.
"For what?" Sirius asked.
"Huh?"
"What is he your partner for?"
"*She*," Mulder corrected. "The FBI."
"What, Frenzied Blokes In bikinis?" the boy named Ron said as he came up behind them. Sirius grinned and Hermione shook her head.
"No," Mulder said slowly. "Wouldn't that be FBIB?"
"Why?" Ron wondered, puzzled.
"Well, bikinis, you know, it starts with…" Mulder looked around at three confused faces and gave up. "Never mind. So we were here to get the murderer-"
"A murderer! Wow!" Ron said.
"Ron, really! Let the man finish!" Hermione scolded.
"And then when we tried to leave, none of the doors or windows would open."
A seed fell out of Sirius's hand, and Mulder rushed to scoop it up. How could the man waste a sunflower seed like that?
"None of them?" Ron asked incredulously.
"Are you sure you were pulling hard enough?" Hermione said, sounding quite the skeptic.
"Let me introduce you to my partner," he said to them, wandering from the kitchen. He found Scully in the living room, where the two of them had started out. "Scully, these are, um…"
"Sirius Black, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger," the girl said, indicating each in turn.
"What she said," Mulder told Scully. "And you three, this is my partner, Dana Scully. Special agent for the FBI," he added as an afterthought.
"The Frenzied Blokes In bikinis?" Sirius grinned.
Scully was hit with confusion. "What?"
"We already went over this," Mulder sighed.
"FBI is an acronym for Federal Bureau of Investigation," Scully explained, still confused.
"Well, that's a bit boring, eh?" Ron commented. He smiled wickedly. "You know what isn't boring, though. Sirius's middle name is I-"
"You even think about it, you'll crap porcupines for a week. Or maybe pineapples. Or both…" Sirius tapped his chin thoughtfully. Mulder shuddered at the mental image.
"Nice to meet you," Scully said in an indifferently confused voice. "Mulder, look at this. I found the old blueprints and deeds for the house. It was originally built hundreds of years ago, for a man called Salazaar Slytherin." She had a hard time pronouncing the name. The three Britons stopped dead. "It's been passed down and rebuilt by generations of people with strange names. But this last inheritance contract is strange. The man it came to disappeared, but according to these papers he still owns the house."
"What's the disappearing man's name?" Mulder asked, sneaking a sunflower seed.
"Tom Riddle," Scully replied, shuffling through the piles of old papers.
Sirius and Ron choked, and Hermione's eyes went wide as she gasped.
"What!" Sirius exclaimed. His eyes darted around, suddenly suspicious.
"I guess that explains the snakes," Ron muttered.
"Do you know him?" Scully asked.
Sirius turned very serious. "Everyone knows him."
"I don't," Mulder volunteered.
"They're Muggles, Sirius," Hermione reminded him.
"Ah, yes. In the wizarding world, there is a wizard who went bad. Very bad. His name growing up was Tom Marvolo Riddle. His name as an evil wizard is Lord Voldemort."
Hermione's countenance glowered at the name, and Ron winced. Apparently this name had meaning to them. It had none to either Mulder or Scully, but once Sirius's short speech had sunk in, Mulder said, "Wizards?"
"Yes, we are wizards," Sirius said. "And, of course, a witch," he said to Hermione's throat-clearing.
"Well, is there some kind of magic thingy you can do to unlock the doors?" Mulder wondered.
"Hermione, would you do the honors?" Sirius asked.
Serious-faced, she took out a long wooden wand. Concentrating very hard, she waved the wand and spoke clearly, "Alohomora!" Mulder and Scully exchanged a look. "Well, go on, try the door."
Mulder walked to the door, turned the handle, and pulled. Nothing happened. He pulled again. Nothing happened. He pulled again. Nothing happened. He turned from the door and looked at the others. "I don't think it worked."
"Try Disapparating," Ron suggested.
Sirius disappeared, and he reappeared again a second later. "Oh, my. I suppose that didn't work either," Tapping his chin, he thought of what might be causing this. "Hmm…no, that would…but maybe…it would have to be underneath…follow me." After pacing while he mused, Sirius gestured to the others as he searched for a staircase leading in a downward direction.
In a few minutes, all stood in the mansion's cellar, watching Sirius mutter spells to uncover the cause of their predicament. Eventually, a section of the floor was pulled out to reveal a contraption of wires and metal.
Surprised, Mulder bent to inspect it. He reported his findings to the others. "These wires are insulated electrical conductors. Under normal circumstances, we could walk on them and nothing would happen. You see how the insulation is punctured, here, and here? Vented in such a way, it produces and electric current with a span of approximately fourteen millimeters. What I don't understand, though, is that even with all these wires together, the current couldn't fill the basement."
"There is an Engorgement Charm around this," Sirius offered.
"An Engorgement Charm?" Scully repeated.
"Simply put, a spell that enlarges."
"How strong can this charm be?" Mulder asked.
"Depends on the wizard," Sirius said. "…or witch," he added to Hermione's throat-clearing.
"If what you say is true, can this charm be very strong? Hmm. Increased by the right amount, this current could extend to the exits to the house, fusing the openings. These wires are often used in electric fusion bombs, used to close off entire segments of buildings. Unless we can somehow reverse and defuse the current, I would say that the device is impossible to bypass."
Scully, who had been only mostly listening, said after the lapse of a moment, "What the HELL did you just say?"
Mulder looked up at her with deep green eyes. "We're fucked."
(A/N: that's right- GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!)
"Ah." Scully scanned the ceiling, as though looking for confirmation.
"Ah, yes. Well, that happens sometimes," Sirius said, with a very ponderous but hopelessly helpless look on his face. "We are going to have to do some Sirius thinking."
"You mean serious thinking?" Scully said absently.
"Sirius thinking. You know, where I…never mind." He began to wander to the opposite wall.
"But why can't we Disapparate?" Ron asked, rubbing his forehead in confusion.
"Magic is involved, Ron," Hermione said. "Listen, you know how electronic devices don't work inside Hogwarts grounds? Well, I think it works the other way around. Maybe the electricity is so strong that it interferes with our magic."
"All of it, or just magic having to do with leaving the mansion?" Ron wondered aloud.
Raising an eyebrow, Hermione produced her wand and muttered to herself. A life-sized tiger of smoke appeared. She whispered some more words, and a pleasant wind blew it away. "No, Ron, I think that our magic works if we're not trying to escape."
"That's good," Sirius said from mid-staircase. No one had seen him ascend the stairs, and none saw him return to the floor, but a moment later he bas back beside Hermione. "Why don't we try to use the counter charm? You too, Ron, you ought to know it by now."
All with doubtful looks, all pointed their wands and said a word. Mulder tried the door leading outside from the cellar. "Nope," he shrugged. Scully was still staring at the ceiling.
"Maybe our magic really won't work," Ron said worriedly.
Sirius shook his head. "I don't think it's that, either," Hermione agreed. "The spell must be triggered." Sirius, from the top of the stairs, disclosed his agreement. Hermione followed behind. Ron trotted after her, and after easing Scully from her ceiling trance, Mulder climbed the stairs.
"Well what is it?" Mulder asked.
"What is what?"
"The trigger," Mulder clarified, looking to Sirius and Hermione for the answer.
They exchanged glances. "Isn't it obvious?" Hermione said. Mulder shook his head. Rolling her eyes, Hermione gestured to the doorpost, and she touched one of the handles to a cabinet. "Parseltongue."
"What, we all have to eat parsley? Is there any parsley around here?" Mulder was confused.
"No, *Parsel*tongue. Not parsley. Parseltongue, the language of the snakes," Hermione explained exasperatedly.
"Snakes!" Mulder exclaimed.
"Yes, snakes," Sirius nodded. "Unfortunately, none of us have this talent. It seems that we really are stuck here."
"Harry, when he comes, he can get us out," Hermione said.
"Yeah! Like the Chamber of Secrets in our second year." Ron looked hopefully excited.
"Exactly." Hermione looked up at Sirius. "Um, shouldn't Harry be here by now?"
"Well, yes," Sirius answered. "But I wouldn't worry. He probably just got held up somewhere."
Looking worried, Ron nodded vigorously. "Yeah."
A shadowy figure passed the window. All five of them stared out into the darkening night.
"Maybe we should all go to bed," Sirius suggested. "We can figure this out tomorrow."
And so the five of them started toward the stairs. Once they had found the bedrooms, the three magically inclined persons slipped into separate rooms, leaving Mulder and Scully alone in the hallway.
"I'll be in this room, next to yours. If you need anything, just come in," Mulder said.
"Thanks," Scully replied. She looked up at Mulder. Mulder looked down at her. They looked at each other. Mulder wanted to close the space between them, but a moment later, Scully closed the door to her room.
Sighing, Mulder went to his own room and began to undress for bed.
(End)
Tantalizing. I'll leave you with this teaser for Chapter 2.
"Scully, you're wearing pink."
"I could get used to it."
"You're wearing tiny cartoon sheep."
Scully looked down at herself and shrugged. "It's not so bad."
Now, doesn't that interest you? Yeah, so anyone who got this far, please review.
Thanks to ShoeGal- Yay! My first and only review! I am glad you liked it.