Half-confessions
April 12, still at the detention cell
-=RUKAWA=-
Four hours.
One hour to go and still, there's nothing to do but sit and stare at the only interesting object inside the room… a window. Small, rugged… cobwebs gone, thanks to me. Yeah, I finally helped klutz to clean the room. Well, that's the only thing that made her sane again. And her? She's finally asleep - Lying comfortably on the mattress facing opposite me. Good thing the lady guard remembered to hand us even just a single clean object.
Bad thing? She kept it all to herself.
Like that I mind… I'm not feeling sleepy anyway.
Hmm… half moon… so serene.
I'm never much of a sloppy person but gazing at the night sky gives me an unexplainable mood. It's been a habit since I was a kid. Whenever I feel guilty… or lonely. The feeling's different. Like I can trust the night sky alone. And now? I feel guilt. I should have not kicked the poor woman on her stomach. And I should have not cared even if they were all shouting to my ears. They're not talking to me anyway, so why did I care?
Alaina. Oh yeah - the main reason why we get to detention. Nah! I didn't mean it's her fault. It's just that her actions are bothering me. She's a little out of herself lately.
Like you know her that well.
But anyone with a sane mind could have noticed that!
. . .
Fine! So I was irritated she's got a date with that stupid, playboy jerk. She just doesn't deserve him. Now what??
. . .
Okay… I care for her. There I spilled it… no big fuss.
Finally.
I said, NO.BIG.FUSS. So what if I admitted it?? It's not like I shouted it for the world to know. I didn't tell anyone but myself. What's the big deal??
"Mmm."
Alaina. She shifted on her sleep, now facing my direction - the moonlight reflecting its trance on her.
The moon… Selena.
Alaina Callie Selena… Rock, most beautiful, moon.
Her name… suits her much.
If only I could just reach on to her and say sorry. Yeah, I know there's NOTHING that's gotta do with her is my fault. And yeah, we've never been close. I don't know her that much and she never likes me. So why do I even bother??
If only I wasn't known for being cool, it would have been much easier. And if only my past didn't let me get used to being one, I would have had the opposite life. But changing now is late… too late.
I was never used to others seeing me like this and hell if anyone discovers.
-=ALAINA=-
What is he doing???
First, he's just staring at the sky… and now… at ME.
I should have already thought of a funny reason but he looks deadly intense.
He's still staring… and his eyes, it's full of… regret? Like he's so sorry about things I don't know about.
So serious - different, unlike the usual exterior he's wearing… like he's thinking so deep. And no one's allowed to enter… except for me.
Shit.
What the hell made me think of that??
Stupid. Ofcourse it's the nap. Yep, it was all because my mind wasn't cleared yet. I just woke up when I felt odd… and I saw that. Yeah, that must be it.
And he's back to normal now. Thank God or I would have had myself thinking of such bizarre things again.
But I swear… it happened real. And I hope this feeling isn't.