WWE GAUNTLET-
14 WWE Superstars-
50,000,000 dollars-
But only one winner-
This is...WWE GAUNTLET!
( Survivor like music plays as we go to the host of the show, Troy Mclure, standing in a big jungle )
Troy: Hello everyone I'm Troy Mclure! You may remember from such reality shows as that show "Suicidal Gothic Adolescance in a house filled with razor blades" and " I'm a washed up actor! Get me out of here!". Now do we have a show for you. On the show, we take 14 Wrestler's place them in a small town, and watch them KILL! The remaining superstar that's alive wins! Also, on every episode one wrestler has to run the gauntlet challenge! Who that wrestler is.YOU decide! Let's meet our contestant's right now..
(Troy walks over to Jeff Hardy.)
Troy: The first contestant on this show is Jeff Hardy. In 2000 Jeff Hardy won the tag titles and put on good matches but recently has become nothing but a mere shadow of himself! So Jeff how do you feel?
(Jeff looks drugged up)
Jeff: whoa..where am i...
Troy: You are on WWE Gauntlet! (smiles)
Jeff: Whoa...cool...wheres my Xtreeeeeeeeeeeeeme Fans at!? BeCAUSE I AM THE KING OF THE XTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME (does the hardy sign)
Troy: Really Jeff? Tell us more!
Jeff: The toilet remains unfilled..Jeff Hardy.. (points at self again.)
Troy: Really? Where is this toilet at?
Jeff: Its in the xtreme secret land of Gordun where the Xtremanites train to take over the universe with their amazing botched spots! (jeff hardy sign)
Troy: Where is Gordun at?
Jeff: Huh? Oh..my backyard. IM XTREEEEEME IN THE BACKYARD! (Hardy sign)
Troy: .intrigiung! Now lets move on to our next contestant. He is the man, or so he calls himself...GOLDBERG!
(Goldberg runs in and tackles Jeff Hardy, then gets up beating his chest)
Goldberg: Who's Next!!!!!!
Troy: hello Goldberg!
Goldberg: WHAT!? IS TROY MCLURE NEXT ON GOLDBERGS LIST!? ARRRRR!
Troy: No, Troy Mclure is not..but I do think that limo over there is!
Goldberg: RARGH! GOLDBERG DESTROY LIMO!!!!
(Goldberg punches the window of the limo out the beats his chest and tackles the recovering Jeff Hardy again)
Goldberg: WHOS NEXT!?
Troy: That squirrel over there..
(Goldberg squashes the squirrel. Then runs away beating his chest )
Troy: riiiiiiight. And our next contestant. He is the king of PPV himself, he is Mr Monday night.he is.ROB VAN DAM!
( Rob van Dam walks in looking high )
RVD: whoa.hey man wassup!
Troy: A lot is up RVD, you are on WWE Gauntlet
RVD: whoa..monkeys. Uhuhuhuhuhu...monkeys rule. I can do a monkey flip.
Troy: indeed you can RVD. Now RVD what is your strategy?
RVD: well, you know, im gonna go out there and go (points to self) R-V-D then hit that Frog splashing thing. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh. I said thing....whoa..grapefruit..
(RVD wanders off in pursuit of grapefruit)
Troy: interesting. Now our next contestant is faster then a speeding texan. Can lift a cruiserweight championship with a single bound..it's a nerd. It's a Lame. Its...
(hurricane swings in on a grapevine.)
Hurricane: Stand back innocent citizen! The hurricane is coming through!
Troy: The hurricane! Well hell Mr.hurri..cane.
Hurricane: Hello innocent bystander, how is your day? Any troubles?
Troy: well no.not so..
Hurricane: Look out innocent bystander. And Evil Alien!
(Hurricane gives Jeff Hardy a shining wizard)
Hurricane: Yes! Once again hurricane save the day with his hurri-wizard.
Troy: well.good job? So hurricane.what is your strategy?
Hurricane: My strategy mr. Innocent bystander, is to protect the innocent from the evil doers! Now Excuse Innocent bystander. I must go save a planet! WHOOOOSH!
(Hurricane flies away.)
Troy: wow? Now our next contestant is another paranoid wash up who won't get over his old gimmick...its one of the greatest..Gorilla press slammers around...it's the ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!!!
(Ultimate Warrior runs in and shakes the bridge they stand on the bangs his head constantly. Then stops and continues to shake)
Troy: Hell mr. Warrior..
Ultimate Warrior: THAT'S MR WARRIOR TO YOU! YOU DON'T UNDIEESTERMUTE THE POWER OF THE WARRIORITES!
Troy: I said mr.
Ultimate Warrior: THAT'S MR WARRIOR! I AM BETTER THEN EVERYONE I AM UNSTOPPABLE! I AM BACK FROM THE STARS OF PLANET WARRIOR AND I HAVE CAME TO FIND ALL THE EVIL HOMELESS PEOPLE AND SACRIFICE THEM TO MR LAMB CHOPS THE PIG!
Troy:...
Ultimate Warrior: ARGHHHHHHHHH! I AM THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR! DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT OR I WILL SEEK OUT YOUR PROBLEMALITIES AND CRUSH THEM INTO GREEN BEENS!
Troy: ummmm...yay?
Ultimate Warrior: THANK YOU MY FELLOW WARRIORITE FOR TURNING INTO A STONE WARRIOR TO SEEK OUT THE LAMBS!
(Ultimate Warrior runs out of site.)
Troy: Now onto maybe the sanest of the contenders...HHH!
(HHH Steps in spitting water everywhere.)
Troy: Hello HHH.how are you today.
HHH: Im doing fine because ei am the game and no one can play me.
Troy: How do you plan to win this?
HHH: I am the game and I will use my creative powers to squash my opponents. Because ei am the game and I make the rulez!
Troy: whats this creative power?
HHH: The Creative power is the secret backstage powers of the game that he uses to squash people to make him into the ultimate wrestler because ehe is the game and he wont be beat.
(HHH spits water everywhere. Then walks off)
Troy: Oh, Good! An even saner individual! Our next contestant is a former WWF world champion, ladies and gentleman Kevin nash!
(Kevin Nash walks in and tears his quad)
Kevin Nash :AHHHHHHH! MY QUAD! I CANT DO THIS! I QUIT!
Troy:...well...that was quick.we are down to 13 contestants and we havent even got started yet!
(Medical attendants carry Nash off)
Troy: wel our next contestant is a former UFC champion and has recently got the crap beat out of him by Tito Ortiz. Everyone, im proud to introduce..KEN SHAMROCK!
(Ken shamrock walks in calmly)
Troy: Hell Ken
Ken: hello troy.
Troy: what is your strategy to win this thing.
Ken: well my strategy is to keep focus on the goal and not lose my focus and.
( a fly touches his shoulder )
Ken: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (squashes fly)
Troy: are you alright?
Ken: yeah..im fine.
(Jeff hardy crawls to ken and touches his leg..)
Ken: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IM IN THE ZONE! (locks in the ankle lock on Jeff Hardy. Some guys come sin and drag Ken away.)
Troy: whoa.ok then! Well our next contestant is probably one of the most influencial figures in sports entertainment today. Ladie sin gentleman.the immortal hulk hogan..
(Hulk hogan walks out flexes his flabby muscles.)
Hulk Hogan: Whats going on brother? You know something brother? People call me old brother when im not really old brother they just assume im old brothe rbecaus ei have wrinkles brother but in relaity brother im actually just a young 25 yr old brother and Hulkamania is still running wild brother! (flexes)
Troy: really?
Hulk: Yes, Brother, listen to my hulkamaniacs (he does his ear taunt...crickets chirp) see!? Did you hear those crickets chirping brother? They were yelling HOGAN HOGAN HOGAN!
Troy: okay then.brother..whatever you say..brother. And our next contestant is..aw,crap...he is...*sigh * disco inferno..
(Disco Inferno disco dances into view )
Disco: Disco isnt dead!
Troy: yes it is.
Disco: Disco is alive and well.look! Im disco dancing right now! (thrusts peklvis excessively)
Troy: you're thrusting your pelvis..
Disco: So!? That's the new age disco dancing! (thrusts)
Troy: whatever what is your strategy?
Disco: To disco dance the night away!Disco feva.disco feva..disco feva.YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!
Troy: now lets meet our two other contestants. They are the kings of tag teams..THE ROAD WARRIORS ANIMAL AND HAWK!
(Animal and hawk come out.)
Troy: lets start with you animal how do you plan on winning this?
Animal: YOU SEE TROY I OPLANAASandfiorsnrkdsADGRKgawGQWOEGYOECXMAAMMMMMMMKALAOWELELToyuUOSMAOCM...T ell em' hawk!
Hawk: WELL...WE PLAN ON WINNING BY KNOCKING OUT EVERYBODY WITH OUR AMAZING NO SELLING ABILITIES! BECAUSE IF WE DON'T SELL WE WILL WIN!OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!
(animal and hawk walks away)
Troy: an our next contender is one of the most bizzare wrestlers in the world...GOLDUST!
(goldust walks in in his wig. He rubs his body sexually)
troy: hello goldust
goldust: well hello..Troy.(chomps teeth)
troy: What happened to your Tourretes?
Goldust: Well.troy..i had a second electrifying experience.except this time..it wasn't by a electrical box..it was by a...Electrical cord..(Chomps teeth)
Troy:...riiiiiight...now goldust..go...rub somewhere else..
Goldust: see you later..Troy..(chomps teeth)
Troy: now our final competitor is actually not much of a wrestler.but has wrestled before..and knows a variety of Slobberknocking moves.that right..JR!!!!
(JR comes out in Cowboy hat)
JR: MAH GAWD! GOOD OLE OKIE JR IS HERE ON GAUNTLET! IM LIKE AONE LEGGED MIDGET IN A CANADIAN CONVENTION! MAH GAWD! TROY! YOURE A HOSS! EDUCATED FEET! MAH GAWD!
Troy: ummm..JR...how do you plan on winning this..
JR: MAH GAWD! JR IS GOING TO HIT HIS SLOBBERKNOCKER AND USE HIS MASTERMINDFUL MINDGAME TO DESTROY THE EDUCATED FEET OF THESE ATHELTIC COMPETITORS!
Troy: well thanks JR...and those are the competitors..tommorow tune in as we officially start the show and we take them via airplane to the small town known as Hodgen Oklahoma which will be there virtual killing grounds! Thank you for watching! And by the way, tommorow one wrestler will complete in a gauntlet challenge. Your vote counts! Tune in to see who gets the gauntlet!
(Now the gauntlet challenges will be actually chosen by who the reviewers choose for each show. Nobody knows what the gauntlet challenge is right now but you can rest assure it will be gruesome fun!)
14 WWE Superstars-
50,000,000 dollars-
But only one winner-
This is...WWE GAUNTLET!
( Survivor like music plays as we go to the host of the show, Troy Mclure, standing in a big jungle )
Troy: Hello everyone I'm Troy Mclure! You may remember from such reality shows as that show "Suicidal Gothic Adolescance in a house filled with razor blades" and " I'm a washed up actor! Get me out of here!". Now do we have a show for you. On the show, we take 14 Wrestler's place them in a small town, and watch them KILL! The remaining superstar that's alive wins! Also, on every episode one wrestler has to run the gauntlet challenge! Who that wrestler is.YOU decide! Let's meet our contestant's right now..
(Troy walks over to Jeff Hardy.)
Troy: The first contestant on this show is Jeff Hardy. In 2000 Jeff Hardy won the tag titles and put on good matches but recently has become nothing but a mere shadow of himself! So Jeff how do you feel?
(Jeff looks drugged up)
Jeff: whoa..where am i...
Troy: You are on WWE Gauntlet! (smiles)
Jeff: Whoa...cool...wheres my Xtreeeeeeeeeeeeeme Fans at!? BeCAUSE I AM THE KING OF THE XTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME (does the hardy sign)
Troy: Really Jeff? Tell us more!
Jeff: The toilet remains unfilled..Jeff Hardy.. (points at self again.)
Troy: Really? Where is this toilet at?
Jeff: Its in the xtreme secret land of Gordun where the Xtremanites train to take over the universe with their amazing botched spots! (jeff hardy sign)
Troy: Where is Gordun at?
Jeff: Huh? Oh..my backyard. IM XTREEEEEME IN THE BACKYARD! (Hardy sign)
Troy: .intrigiung! Now lets move on to our next contestant. He is the man, or so he calls himself...GOLDBERG!
(Goldberg runs in and tackles Jeff Hardy, then gets up beating his chest)
Goldberg: Who's Next!!!!!!
Troy: hello Goldberg!
Goldberg: WHAT!? IS TROY MCLURE NEXT ON GOLDBERGS LIST!? ARRRRR!
Troy: No, Troy Mclure is not..but I do think that limo over there is!
Goldberg: RARGH! GOLDBERG DESTROY LIMO!!!!
(Goldberg punches the window of the limo out the beats his chest and tackles the recovering Jeff Hardy again)
Goldberg: WHOS NEXT!?
Troy: That squirrel over there..
(Goldberg squashes the squirrel. Then runs away beating his chest )
Troy: riiiiiiight. And our next contestant. He is the king of PPV himself, he is Mr Monday night.he is.ROB VAN DAM!
( Rob van Dam walks in looking high )
RVD: whoa.hey man wassup!
Troy: A lot is up RVD, you are on WWE Gauntlet
RVD: whoa..monkeys. Uhuhuhuhuhu...monkeys rule. I can do a monkey flip.
Troy: indeed you can RVD. Now RVD what is your strategy?
RVD: well, you know, im gonna go out there and go (points to self) R-V-D then hit that Frog splashing thing. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh. I said thing....whoa..grapefruit..
(RVD wanders off in pursuit of grapefruit)
Troy: interesting. Now our next contestant is faster then a speeding texan. Can lift a cruiserweight championship with a single bound..it's a nerd. It's a Lame. Its...
(hurricane swings in on a grapevine.)
Hurricane: Stand back innocent citizen! The hurricane is coming through!
Troy: The hurricane! Well hell Mr.hurri..cane.
Hurricane: Hello innocent bystander, how is your day? Any troubles?
Troy: well no.not so..
Hurricane: Look out innocent bystander. And Evil Alien!
(Hurricane gives Jeff Hardy a shining wizard)
Hurricane: Yes! Once again hurricane save the day with his hurri-wizard.
Troy: well.good job? So hurricane.what is your strategy?
Hurricane: My strategy mr. Innocent bystander, is to protect the innocent from the evil doers! Now Excuse Innocent bystander. I must go save a planet! WHOOOOSH!
(Hurricane flies away.)
Troy: wow? Now our next contestant is another paranoid wash up who won't get over his old gimmick...its one of the greatest..Gorilla press slammers around...it's the ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!!!
(Ultimate Warrior runs in and shakes the bridge they stand on the bangs his head constantly. Then stops and continues to shake)
Troy: Hell mr. Warrior..
Ultimate Warrior: THAT'S MR WARRIOR TO YOU! YOU DON'T UNDIEESTERMUTE THE POWER OF THE WARRIORITES!
Troy: I said mr.
Ultimate Warrior: THAT'S MR WARRIOR! I AM BETTER THEN EVERYONE I AM UNSTOPPABLE! I AM BACK FROM THE STARS OF PLANET WARRIOR AND I HAVE CAME TO FIND ALL THE EVIL HOMELESS PEOPLE AND SACRIFICE THEM TO MR LAMB CHOPS THE PIG!
Troy:...
Ultimate Warrior: ARGHHHHHHHHH! I AM THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR! DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT OR I WILL SEEK OUT YOUR PROBLEMALITIES AND CRUSH THEM INTO GREEN BEENS!
Troy: ummmm...yay?
Ultimate Warrior: THANK YOU MY FELLOW WARRIORITE FOR TURNING INTO A STONE WARRIOR TO SEEK OUT THE LAMBS!
(Ultimate Warrior runs out of site.)
Troy: Now onto maybe the sanest of the contenders...HHH!
(HHH Steps in spitting water everywhere.)
Troy: Hello HHH.how are you today.
HHH: Im doing fine because ei am the game and no one can play me.
Troy: How do you plan to win this?
HHH: I am the game and I will use my creative powers to squash my opponents. Because ei am the game and I make the rulez!
Troy: whats this creative power?
HHH: The Creative power is the secret backstage powers of the game that he uses to squash people to make him into the ultimate wrestler because ehe is the game and he wont be beat.
(HHH spits water everywhere. Then walks off)
Troy: Oh, Good! An even saner individual! Our next contestant is a former WWF world champion, ladies and gentleman Kevin nash!
(Kevin Nash walks in and tears his quad)
Kevin Nash :AHHHHHHH! MY QUAD! I CANT DO THIS! I QUIT!
Troy:...well...that was quick.we are down to 13 contestants and we havent even got started yet!
(Medical attendants carry Nash off)
Troy: wel our next contestant is a former UFC champion and has recently got the crap beat out of him by Tito Ortiz. Everyone, im proud to introduce..KEN SHAMROCK!
(Ken shamrock walks in calmly)
Troy: Hell Ken
Ken: hello troy.
Troy: what is your strategy to win this thing.
Ken: well my strategy is to keep focus on the goal and not lose my focus and.
( a fly touches his shoulder )
Ken: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (squashes fly)
Troy: are you alright?
Ken: yeah..im fine.
(Jeff hardy crawls to ken and touches his leg..)
Ken: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IM IN THE ZONE! (locks in the ankle lock on Jeff Hardy. Some guys come sin and drag Ken away.)
Troy: whoa.ok then! Well our next contestant is probably one of the most influencial figures in sports entertainment today. Ladie sin gentleman.the immortal hulk hogan..
(Hulk hogan walks out flexes his flabby muscles.)
Hulk Hogan: Whats going on brother? You know something brother? People call me old brother when im not really old brother they just assume im old brothe rbecaus ei have wrinkles brother but in relaity brother im actually just a young 25 yr old brother and Hulkamania is still running wild brother! (flexes)
Troy: really?
Hulk: Yes, Brother, listen to my hulkamaniacs (he does his ear taunt...crickets chirp) see!? Did you hear those crickets chirping brother? They were yelling HOGAN HOGAN HOGAN!
Troy: okay then.brother..whatever you say..brother. And our next contestant is..aw,crap...he is...*sigh * disco inferno..
(Disco Inferno disco dances into view )
Disco: Disco isnt dead!
Troy: yes it is.
Disco: Disco is alive and well.look! Im disco dancing right now! (thrusts peklvis excessively)
Troy: you're thrusting your pelvis..
Disco: So!? That's the new age disco dancing! (thrusts)
Troy: whatever what is your strategy?
Disco: To disco dance the night away!Disco feva.disco feva..disco feva.YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!
Troy: now lets meet our two other contestants. They are the kings of tag teams..THE ROAD WARRIORS ANIMAL AND HAWK!
(Animal and hawk come out.)
Troy: lets start with you animal how do you plan on winning this?
Animal: YOU SEE TROY I OPLANAASandfiorsnrkdsADGRKgawGQWOEGYOECXMAAMMMMMMMKALAOWELELToyuUOSMAOCM...T ell em' hawk!
Hawk: WELL...WE PLAN ON WINNING BY KNOCKING OUT EVERYBODY WITH OUR AMAZING NO SELLING ABILITIES! BECAUSE IF WE DON'T SELL WE WILL WIN!OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!
(animal and hawk walks away)
Troy: an our next contender is one of the most bizzare wrestlers in the world...GOLDUST!
(goldust walks in in his wig. He rubs his body sexually)
troy: hello goldust
goldust: well hello..Troy.(chomps teeth)
troy: What happened to your Tourretes?
Goldust: Well.troy..i had a second electrifying experience.except this time..it wasn't by a electrical box..it was by a...Electrical cord..(Chomps teeth)
Troy:...riiiiiight...now goldust..go...rub somewhere else..
Goldust: see you later..Troy..(chomps teeth)
Troy: now our final competitor is actually not much of a wrestler.but has wrestled before..and knows a variety of Slobberknocking moves.that right..JR!!!!
(JR comes out in Cowboy hat)
JR: MAH GAWD! GOOD OLE OKIE JR IS HERE ON GAUNTLET! IM LIKE AONE LEGGED MIDGET IN A CANADIAN CONVENTION! MAH GAWD! TROY! YOURE A HOSS! EDUCATED FEET! MAH GAWD!
Troy: ummm..JR...how do you plan on winning this..
JR: MAH GAWD! JR IS GOING TO HIT HIS SLOBBERKNOCKER AND USE HIS MASTERMINDFUL MINDGAME TO DESTROY THE EDUCATED FEET OF THESE ATHELTIC COMPETITORS!
Troy: well thanks JR...and those are the competitors..tommorow tune in as we officially start the show and we take them via airplane to the small town known as Hodgen Oklahoma which will be there virtual killing grounds! Thank you for watching! And by the way, tommorow one wrestler will complete in a gauntlet challenge. Your vote counts! Tune in to see who gets the gauntlet!
(Now the gauntlet challenges will be actually chosen by who the reviewers choose for each show. Nobody knows what the gauntlet challenge is right now but you can rest assure it will be gruesome fun!)