One shot. Goten and Bra. This is more like a release for me here. My life is running parallel with this story, and I need some way to get this out. Of course, the ending leaves a bit to imagine, like "what happens next?!" I don't know what will happen next. Maybe there will be a sequel, and people like happy endings. This isn't happy yet, but hey, what can I do? Have fun with it.
AN1: Kare Kano always gives me that warm feeling, knowutimsayin?.
AN2: Goten is 22, Bra is 18. Four year age gap.
AN3: I fell too hard, lol. Hate it when that happens.
AN4: Kubarii Kan ga kamisama desu.
DISCLAIMER: "Anata no koto wo omou sore dake de namida ga ima afuredashite kuru yo." – Dream, My Will
Seraphic
It's a simple word, but it means so much to me. It dives into my mind and creates a wonderful world of imagery that I can't get enough of. She is seraphic personified, and that's a fact. Unfortunately, she doesn't know that.
Seraphic. It's a word describing something heavenly; it's something angelic, per se. That's just what she is. Angelic, heavenly, and beyond. I long to tell her so badly. Sometimes I get so close, but I just fall away. I chicken out, just like a normal guy.
Bra is seraphic, and that's all there is to it. No one can change my mind. I've made it up. Everything about her is radiant, just like an angel. She is so incredibly perfect in my mind that I'm surprised sometimes to find out she doesn't have a plume of white, feathery wings protruding from her shoulders to lift her up into the heavens and take her incredibleness away from me. Honestly, I could never realize someone so great could be a mere mortal. She is by far the only mortal goddess I know.
She's my best friend, and I am hers. We are four years apart, but I don't care about age. Age difference doesn't matter to me at all. What counts is what's inside of us. I tell her everything. Well, almost everything. I can't tell her how I feel about her, unfortunately. That creates a problem, too. She has this ability that all girls have. She can tell how I'm feeling by looking into my eyes.
She notices when I get sad, and like any best friend would, she confronts me on it. I long so much to take her in my arms at those moments and tell her how much I love her, but I just smile and say "it's nothing, Bchan. Don't you worry about me." I think she only half believes me, but that's with good reason, of course.
She tells me everything, as well. And again, that creates a problem for me. Everything includes her current love interests. I'm sad to say they don't involve me.
But her happiness is the most important thing to me in the world, so I try to stay happy when she asks me for advice about her boyfriend. And even though I have a calm façade when I help her with those problems, my insides burn from the pain, and I sit there and look into her eyes. I think that it will somehow let her know how I feel.
But she never realizes it. And if she does, she never looks at me with the same loving intensity. Sometimes she's so good at reading the eyes though, and that's why I think she'll be able to tell how I feel about her if I dwell into her cerulean depths. I have to smile.
I let it slip a little bit ago that I liked her more than a friend. She was talking to me about him again, and I tried my best to make her feel better. He forgot to call her, as usual, and when she called him she got into a fight. It had gotten to be a routine. So what did I do to try to get her to feel better? I told her I liked her.
"Goten, no," she told me, "Don't come down to my level. You can have so many better girls than me." Wow. That response just for a simple "yeah, you're on the top my favorite people list." I'd hate to see how crushed I'd be if I told her the rest of my feelings.
But she still is seraphic, there's no doubt about that. Everytime I see her, I can't help but put on the brightest smile. She's the only one who can do that to me. Angelic, seraphic, wonderful.
I hope that soon enough I will be able to tell her the full truth. The truth about how I fell through the floor for her. Hell, more than the floor; I'm kissing groundhogs right now! It's hard to believe a woman can have such a power over a man.
She recently broke up with her boyfriend. I should be happy, right? I'm not. She's sad, even though she was the one who broke up with him. She told me it was just to scare him a little bit when she brought up the whole breaking up thing. She wanted to test the strength of their relationship. She got drunk to do it.
To digress, once again, Bra and I told each other a few weeks ago that we'd stop drinking together and last for as long as we could. It was something I prided myself on because I know I had her to help me through such a thing. Hey, I'm a 22-year-old guy who likes to drink, what can you do? But we stopped. And then came the night where she broke up with him. That's the significance of getting drunk.
I'm not angry at her for it, nor am I disappointed in her. I understand fully why she got drunk. One reason was to keep her from backing down with the breaking up, and the other was to deaden the feeling of it. But she'd feeling it now.
It's been almost a week since they've broken up. She's in terrible pain. She tells me how she wants him back incredibly bad, and I sit there and offer advice like a dumbass. But he doesn't want her back. Or else it seems like that.
But she still longs for him, and not me. Bra, my seraphic Bra, longs for someone else who I sometimes believe doesn't really care for her at all. But he gives her that feeling in her stomach that no one else can. Not even me, and I hate myself for that.
Goten, Goten, Goten… what are you doing to yourself buddy? You're sitting here typing a monologue as if someone is going to read it. Or as if it's going to change the way Bra feels. You act as if you're typing into her head to persuade her feelings toward you.
No, I just need release. I need some way to tell Bra that she's seraphic, even if it isn't directly to her.
Trunks had a nice party the other night with a lot of our old friends. We all sat around outside around a cozy bonfire, chatting up the old times. Something was missing from my night, though. I didn't feel right, and I knew why. I walked in the house to go to Bra's room. I needed to talk to her.
I laid on her bed as she played a game furiously at her computer.
"Bra," I said gently, "come outside with me and sit around the fire." She shook her head. I knew that her boyfriend forgot to call her again, and soon enough she told me the situation. But after a few minutes, I finally got her to come outside with me. For the rest of the night, we laid next to each other on the hammock, talking and watching the fire burn.
Bra soon grew tired, so I walked her to the house. When we got there, she turned to me and looked into my eyes. My soul melted, and I couldn't even do anything. But I did something. I hugged her. It was the biggest hug I'd ever given her, and it felt incredible.
"Thanks for talking to me tonight," Bra said into my ear as my arms wrapped around her waist, "You're the best." We broke apart from our quick embrace, and I smiled at her retreating form.
"I'll call you later." I said as she closed the door with a smile. Now let me ask, is this a cloud under my feet?
But the day after, things resumed to normal. She talked about her boyfriend, and I helped her out. Why? Christ, I don't know. I want her to be happy.
She is seraphic. That's why I want her to be happy. I'd hate to see her lose that quality.
She has that quality that only the girls you love can have. You know, the quality where she looks incredibly beautiful, even in sweatpants and no makeup. I try to tell her that, but she gives me a "whatever" with a cute little laugh. That is seraphic.
I don't know what to do with myself except go with the flow for now. Soon enough, Bra will know how seraphic she is. I will make her know, even if I am crushed in the process. I just hope that luck is on my side, as well as love.
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End Seraphic