Disclaimer: Gensomaden Saiyuki and its characters belong to Minekura-sensei. We've done nothing to gain profit from this little fic. Well, nothing financial that is, just the rippling warmth in our hearts when we set these guys in yaoi scenes…..
Warning: Before you read it, please be warned that this fic has a very dark tone with twisted angsty plot and sexual abuse content. Don't read if you don't have a heart to read these kinds of stuff or to see the characters in distress and pain.
Extra Warning: This chapter has an unconsensual sex scene. Skip reading it if you don't like this kind of stuff. Or if you are sure with your will, read at your own risk.
Heal the Healer
A fanfiction of Gensomaden Saiyuki
Plotter: Yoong
Writer: Sumeragi Sakura yami_no_tsubasa@otakumail.com
Part V: Storm
The rain stopped the next day, leaving the trace of wet humidity hanging in the air. The wind had died and the sun burnt in its highest intensity, burning the stagnate air with its extreme heat. It was unbearably hot and oppressing, and it lasted a whole day.
The night came after the long heated day with a clear smell of a coming storm brewing in the air. Even after the sun set down, the weather was still far from being friendly, especially to the wounded, grumpy monk who was forced to stay in bed for days. It was day two, and Sanzo felt like he would go insane if he had to lie in bed for one more minute. The night air was stiflingly hot, it grew his annoyance bigger and bigger every passing minute.
There was an unspeakable tension hanging thick in the room. But whether it was because of the weather or something else, none could really tell. Sanzo sat leaning against the pillow on the bed. His wound didn't feel any better in the suffocating heat and he showed it. He had barked roughly at Goku several times before to shut the noisy monkey up.
Goku, feeling hurt, didn't learn his lesson. He complained about Sanzo's rough treatment to him perpetually, which resulted in Sanzo getting angrier and snappier. Gojyo perched on the opened window, smoking in silent while occasionally fanned himself with Sanzo's holy fan. He was in one of his mood too. He stared out of the window for a long time and didn't say a word. Hakkai was changing Sanzo's bandages, which was wet with sweat and blood. Somehow, in his sleep, Sanzo's wound opened up again, causing blood to seep through the bandages and into the bed sheet.
"The inn master won't be so pleased about the bed sheet, Sanzo," Hakkai said with a smile.
Sanzo slanted his eyes at the man who had healed him. "If he won't, then he's a moron for not understanding how a wounded man can not stop bleeding."
"If I wasn't moved into my room last night, I could've helped you change the bandages, Sanzo," grumbled Goku.
"I'll die running out of blood if you did," said Sanzo.
Goku stood up and balled his fist in front of his chest. "That's so mean! I'm not that stupid!"
"You are, a lot of times."
Goku's shoulder shook. He gritted his teeth. Hakkai could see the boy was actually thinking whether or not he should hit the wounded monk. For some reasons, Goku didn't. He sat back in his chair by Sanzo's bed and sulked.
"You should be grateful that I care so much about you, Sanzo," he said, glowering at the monk.
"I never ask you to. So shut up."
Goku stood up again, looking even angrier than before. "What did you say, Sanzo?!"
"I said shut up."
Gojyo laughed from his perch on the window. He turned to see Goku's face flushing like dynamite ready to burst.
"What's so funny, Perverted Kappa?" shouted Goku.
"You. Why should you bother messing with the stupid monk when he told you to go away many times?"
"Did you say I'm stupid?" snapped Sanzo.
"You are. Most of the times," Gojyo grinned a nasty smile.
"Did you stay I'm stupid?" Sanzo tried to rise from the bed, reaching for his gun that laid on the table next to the bed.
Hakkai tried to calm him, lightly push him back to the bed. "You shouldn't move a lot, Sanzo, I'm still dressing the bandages here."
"Fine. If you don't want to do it, I'll dress it myself!" Sanzo snapped at him.
"Why the hell are you being so hot-headed suddenly, oi, Sanzo?" asked Gojyo, with a slight tone of annoyance in his voice, seeing Hakkai being yelled at.
"What the fuck do you think caused it?"
"Can't you stop yelling at your friends?" shouted Goku. "It's bad enough that you yell at me a lot of times."
"Yeah, what's your problem, hey, Sanzo?" asked Gojyo with his hands on his hip.
"Now, now… it must be the hot weather and the wound. Everyone, please be calm now," Hakkai tried to calm them down.
Sanzo reached for his gun and aimed it at Gojyo. "My problem is you, all of you. It's hot and I'm hurt and you're bothering me. Get out of my room. Now. I won't think twice to pull the trigger at anyone who would test my nerve anymore."
Gojyo burst. "You dare to point that thing at me?!! Hah?!"
"Sanzo!"
Sanzo released the safety clip. "Get out. Now."
Hakkai stood up, dragged both Gojyo and Goku to the door. The two protested and struggled, each want to teach the stupid monk a lesson that -quoting from their direct words- "he won't ever forget". Hakkai closed the door on their face.
He dared himself to return to Sanzo's bed. Raising his naked hands upward, he smiled at the wounded man.
"It's probably not a good idea to shoot me, Sanzo, because I'm the only one who can heal your wound. I'm not going to do anything else to you, but to finish dressing up your bandages."
After staring at Hakkai for a while, Sanzo lowered his gun and leant his sweating back on the pillows. He covered his eyes with one of his hands while blowing his breath.
"Gods….. what's wrong with me…?"
Hakkai sat on the bed, besides Sanzo, diligently finishing wrapping the wound with the bandages. The wound had opened again last night, but once Hakkai healed it again today, it would surely be closed by tomorrow. It was a deep wound, however strong Sanzo's physique an his healing magic were, it would still take some time to heal.
"It's the heat that effected badly on you. And also this wound, which I figure still hurt you quite bad," answered Hakkai calmly.
"It burnt like fire last night. Now I feel like being thrust with hundreds of flaming needles…"
"I'll feel a lot better tomorrow. Or later tonight, if the weather improves."
"Hmph…. They deserve it, though."
Hakkai raised his brows. "Deserve what?"
"Being shot. Ch', noisy bunch."
Hakkai chuckled. He tied the last thread of the bandages together and sat back to check his work with Sanzo's bandages. They looked neatly and tightly bound, wrapping half of Sanzo's torso firmly, to help the closing of the wound.
"I'm done here, but I want you to drink something….here.."
Dubiously, Sanzo received the little greenish tablets Hakkai gave him. He never liked medicines, especially when they came in tablets and pills. Herbal drinks were better, but he never trusted tablets and pills. Knowing his travelling companion, Hakkai smiled.
"Don't worry. It's just something to calm you down. I made them myself, from the extract of the ganyu fungus I picked in the Shou Hei Forest, washed and boiled in hot water, poured in some substance I found in…."
Sanzo raised his hand to stop Hakkai's rambling. "All right, I understand. I'll drink it. If you did mess with this thing, I'll kill you when I wake up."
"Don't be silly. If I did mess with the tablet, you won't be waking up anymore after you take it."
Sanzo glared at him. If Hakkai were a few seconds late in assuring, the monk would've thrown the tablet across the room.
"I'm joking, Sanzo, I'm joking," Hakkai handed Sanzo a glass of water.
After a few minutes of arguing and persuading, Hakkai opened the door of the room, leaving the wounded monk drugged and asleep, and closed the door again behind his back. He was soon greeted by the questioning eyes of Goku.
"How is he?" he asked.
"I can't believe you're still worried about the bastard after how he treated you that way," grunted Gojyo, who stood smoking, leaning his back on the hallway wall.
"I'm also very angry first, but I know he was not himself today," answered Goku gravely, to Gojyo's surprise.
"He's fine. I gave him a tranquilizing tablet. He'll be sleeping like a log tonight and be his true self again tomorrow morning, Goku," said Hakkai, while slightly glancing at the still-upset Gojyo.
"Come on, Gojyo. Accompany me in a game of cards. The night is still too young for you to visit the taverns, isn't it?" Hakkai curled his arm around Gojyo's right elbow and slightly pulled his friend towards him.
Gojyo was reluctant. "A game of cards? At such time? I don't know, Hakkai, I feel too hot to think…"
"Then don't think, just play. Come on, there's no use for us to stand around here. And it's too early to retreat to bed."
Sighing, Gojyo shrugged submissively. "Hai, hai… Fine. Goku, you coming?"
Hakkai froze. In truth, the real reason why he suddenly asked Gojyo to play cards was to avoid being in the same room with Goku. He felt like he would have to avoid the boy. What, in Buddha's name, he would do next to the boy if he didn't, feared him so.
He winced and wished Goku would answer otherwise.
"No, thanks. I think I'll just stay here….," answered the boy surly.
"What? What are you, stupid? There's no use for you so stand around like an idiot in this hall way," said Gojyo.
Goku slumped down to the floor, right next to the door to Sanzo's bedroom. He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged his legs. He looked up, to Gojyo's face and Hakkai's back, and smiled. A big, wide toothy smile, very boyish in his own way.
"No, that's okay. I'll just stay here. I'm not really good at playing cards anyway. Why don't you two just go and play?" he even waved his hand to both of them.
Snorting and shrugging, Gojyo turned around. He hugged Hakkai's shoulder and dragged the silent man out of the hallway.
"Oh well, it's your loss, Goku. C'mon, Hakkai, I'll beat you this time!"
Hakkai just smiled, while inwardly he blew a breath of relief.
+ + + + +
"Gyahahaha……. I can't believe it! I won! I really won! Look at my beautiful Straight flush! Oooh, look at how pretty those numbers line!"
Gojyo sat back and put his booted feet on the table, with an air of a king who had just won a war. His face shone brightly with glee, his lips smiled widely with cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. He put his hands behind his head, sighing in contentment.
Hak Ryu, who had been curling at Hakkai's bed, sound asleep, raised its little head after hearing Gojyo's loud exclamation. Seeing that nothing that interested it had happened, it went back to his sleep.
"Ah, what a memorable occasion this is! I, the one who's famous as the gambling master in almost every cities we've passed in our journey, has never once beat you, Cho Hakkai. But now the table has been turned. Go and taste the bitter sweet of losing, my friend!"
Laughing again, he took the cigarette off his lips and blow rings of smoke to Hakkai's face. He figured that Hakkai would be laughing submissively, as that was his character. But when he saw his friends just stared quietly at the cards on the table, Gojyo was surprised.
"Hey, don't you believe that you can lose over me?" Gojyo asked his friend upsetly.
Hakkai didn't answer. He was still staring at the cards on the table. His hair fell over his face, shadowing his eyes out of Gojyo's sight.
Frowning, Gojyo leant his face over his friend's. "Hey, come on, now. I didn't cheat. Is it so hard for you to believe that I can win over you at cards?"
Hakkai jerked back, surprised to see Gojyo's face so close to his. He blinked stupidly, trying to understand the situation at hand, then stared at the cards laid on the table.
"Who won?" he asked.
Hands on his hips, Gojyo stood looming over Hakkai.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU MEAN 'WHO WON'?!! DIDN'T YOU HEAR MY VICTORIOUS MOCKERY AT YOUR LOSS?!"
Hak Ryu screeched in surprise to hear Gojyo's loud yell, it glared angrily at the man before it flew to the corner of the room, away from the annoying loud man.
Motioning Gojyo to sit down again, Hakkai laughed nervously. "Well, congratulations, Gojyo. I believe this is the first time I lost to anyone at cards."
"Hmph…, that's right! You should congratulate me! Haha! C'mon, let's play again!"
Five minutes later, Gojyo threw his cards on the table with a sulk on his face.
"Damn it! I should've quit while I'm winning! My cards are pathetic!" he yelled angrily.
Gojyo stared at his cards and slumped his face on the table. A two pair. The lowest set of cards he managed to get, even though he had tried his best. Apparently, his earlier victory was only out of sheer luck! He really couldn't beat Hakkai's expertise at cards. If words went out, this could ruin his reputation as a famous gambler.
"Oy, I'm beat and battered like a cheap little whore who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with a rock in his fist…."
Gojyo waited for his friend to react, to calmly smile and comfort him. Yet, he didn't hear anything. He raised his head only to find Hakkai's surly face.
"Hey, Hakkai, what's wrong?"
Silence.
Gojyo leant his body forward, touching Hakkai's hand with his own. "Hey, Hakkai, is everything all right?"
Listlessly, Hakkai dragged his eyes to meet Gojyo's questioning ones. "Yes…."
"Are you sure? You don't look so good."
"I'm..fine…."
"So what are your cards?"
Hakkai blinked twice before he laid down his cards on the table. Gojyo looked down, following the movement of Hakkai's hands. He stared at the opened cards for a long time. He stared at Hakkai's face and then back at the cards. A frown began to form on his brows.
He couldn't believe his eyes.
There was not a single pair in Hakkai's cards. Hell, there were only random numbers with random symbols in them. If he hadn't known Hakkai well, he would think Hakkai didn't know anything about playing cards. But he did know how good Hakkai were, thus he couldn't believe his eyes.
Angrily, he hit his hand on the table. He was staring at Hakkai with confused worry. Hakkai jerked back, surprised to see his friend sudden burst of emotion.
"All right, what the hell is it?" Gojyo spurted. "There's gotta be something wrong with you. I know you, Hakkai, I know you won't lose over a two pair! So either you tell me what's going on or I should squeeze it out of you with my Shakujou!"
Hakkai hid behind a friendly smile and a stroking hand over Gojyo's arm. "Now, Gojyo, there's no need for you to be so worked up on me. I'm really fine. I'm just.."
Gojyo leant his face right across Hakkai's. "Don't give me that shit."
Gojyo's eyes pierced through him sharper than a knife would. The heart inside Hakkai's chest shuddered with guilt. Oh, how he wanted to turn to his friend and tell him all that had been bothering him. But he couldn't. Especially after what he did, or almost did, last night. Even if it was Gojyo, he wasn't sure how the man would react when he learned that Hakkai had almost killed a travelling companion. No, not just a travelling companion, Goku was more than that. He was a friend, a very dear friend. He couldn't tell it to Gojyo. He just couldn't, for he was afraid Gojyo would hate him now.
He couldn't tell him about Kanan too….. For he knew Gojyo would call him an idiot to ever let himself be drown again in the past. Gojyo would never understand. No matter how good a friend he was, with a past he claimed similar to Hakkai's, he would never understand. It was not really the same, Gojyo and him….
At least, he had to take some time to sort things out first, because everything seemed like cramming his head right now. So he would have to lie again to Gojyo. And lying to the guy whom he had been living together for years was not easy. Hakkai braced himself, secretly took a deep breath and forced a "natural" smile to break on his lips.
"I'm sorry. I'm not fine, perhaps. I'm too exhausted for the last a couple of days, with the fight and stuffs, plus I have to extort my power to heal Sanzo several times. I'm just beat."
Gojyo stared at him for a long while. At first, Hakkai thought the man didn't hear him. But at last, Gojyo straightened his back, with his flaming eyes still locked on Hakkai. Those flaming eyes were burning bright, as if they wanted to scorch his smiling mask and break a way through the real him inside. Hakkai forced his face to act natural the whole time, which was really hard. He didn't know if he succeeded or not. In the end, Gojyo let him go.
But Gojyo wasn't happy about it.
"If you're too exhausted, why didn't you just rest? Why bother asking me to play a game of cards in which you can't play after all. What a waste of time…."
Gojyo had suddenly grew more upset, frustrated. He still felt there was something wrong with his friend, but Hakkai's smile looked genuine. Uncertain, and very much upset for a reason he couldn't quite tell why, he left Hakkai alone with the scattered cards.
"I'm going to town. At least I won't be bored there. You get some rest. I won't ever play cards with you again, if you won't play me seriously."
With that, Gojyo slammed the door closed behind him and left.
Hakkai sighed and closed his eyes. Gojyo was angry, he thought, it was my fault. But at least he believed what I told him.
Staring emptily at the scattered cards, Hakkai let himself slid into his sickening emotional hell. He didn't even notice that Hak Ryu had flown and perched on the table, eyeing him with such a worried look on its little face.
Gojyo stomped his way through the hallway. He dug his hands into his pants' pockets, made a major frown with his brows and strode away with elaborately heavy steps. He was angry. Angry that Hakkai seemed to hide something from him. Angry that his suspicion could only be a suspicion and the fact that he was angry because of some stupid prejudice made him more upset. Angry because his victories over Hakkai didn't mean anything because his friend wasn't really playing the cards with him. Angry because he didn't know what else to do with his friend's troubled mind.
Or perhaps, he was just angry because of the heat. The windless, damp, hot night.
On the way to the stair that led to the inn's tavern, he passed Sanzo's door. Son Goku was still there, sitting with his back on the wall, looking all lonely and morose. He felt too upset to stop for a chitchat, therefor he kept walking past the boy.
Goku raised his sleepy head up, blinking at Gojyo in wonders.
"Has the game of cards finished? That was fast. Have you got beaten again by Hakkai?" Goku started a conversation.
Without stopping, Gojyo glanced at Goku. Being reminded of the game of cards, he grew even more upset, if that was possible. He kicked the wall next to Goku's head and continued his stomping to the stairs.
Surprised at first, furious afterwards, Goku leaped up to a fighting stance.
"Hey, what the hell was that for?! I was being nice to you and that was what I get?!"
"Keep an eye on Hakkai. I'm trusting you. He doesn't talk to me anymore."
Without any more words, the man disappeared down the stairs, leaving Goku stranded alone in puzzled fury. Frustrated, Goku scratched his messy hair, making it looked messier than before.
"Damn it! What the hell's wrong with everybody today…," he grumbled upsetly.
Morosely, he stared at Sanzo's door. He wanted to go in, to stay by Sanzo's side again tonight. But remembering what Sanzo said to him before, it was probably not a good idea. His stubborn head thought it was not the real Sanzo who said those cruel words. However cold Sanzo was , he knew the monk wouldn't have the heart to actually mean the awful things he said. Hell, Sanzo had been saying that he would definitely kill Goku the next time Goku said "I'm hungry", but look at him now. Goku was always saying that he was hungry and he was pretty much alive.
So, perhaps,…no, obviously, what Sanzo just said before was also another empty threat. Sanzo would never really want Goku to leave him alone. To shut up, perhaps, but not to leave him for good.
Satisfied with his subjective conclusion, Goku decided to take a rest. No, he was not really that tired. He was more hungry than tired. Perhaps he should go to Hakkai for some food. And see what Gojyo's words meant.
Hakkai was rearranging the scattered cards on the table when Goku slammed open his door and loudly declared…..
"Hakkai, I'M HUNGRY!!"
Hakkai almost dropped the stack of cards he held in his hands. Perfect. He had planned to avoid the boy for the whole night tonight, but the boy had found him instead. In his room. Alone. Just the two of them.
Shaking his head, Hakkai fought to cast away the fear inside him. It was not the fear of the boy, but the fear of how he might lost his control again.
"But you've eaten already this afternoon, Goku," he forced a smile, something he had grown used to do.
Goku grinned and scratched the back of his head. "Well, ya know me, Hakkai! I'm always hungry! Hehehehehe…."
"You can always go to the kitchen and ask them to make you something."
Goku winced. "Hmm…. Yes, I can do that. But their food doesn't really taste good. I was wondering if you could cook me something. I know you bring the cooking stuffs with you in your backpack. I'd rather eat something you made, Hakkai. It always tastes amazing!"
It was not a good idea. He didn't want to be in the same room with the boy, let alone cook him anything. He didn't really want to have anything to do with the boy at all, at least for tonight. Every time he saw Goku, he was always reminded of the boy's obvious display of affection towards Sanzo. And every time he remembered that, he was always reminded of his own unbearable yearning for Kanan. Of how lonesome he was all this time, without the touch of affection or compassion.
Goku was staring at him with those big, brown eyes. The word innocence slipped into Hakkai's mind right at that time. Damn it… How could one turn down a pair of eyes that looked like that?….
"All right, Goku. What do you want to eat?" Hakkai tried to hide the lump in his throat.
"Anything you want! I'll eat anything you cook!" answered the boy cheerfully.
Listlessly, Hakkai pried into his backpack, looking for the cooking utensils he always used to cook the gang a meal every time they had to spend a night outdoors, when the nearest city was still miles away. He produced a small cooking stove, a pot and some ingredients he kept for emergency uses.
While Hakkai was preparing his meal, Goku plopped himself onto the bed and play with Hak Ryu, who liked the fun Goku better than the loud-mouthed Gojyo. They tossed and rolled on Hakkai's bed together. Goku was laughing so cheerfully all the while.
Hakkai tried to concentrate on the task at hand, which was slicing scallion for the soup he was making. Goku's boyish laugh had been bothering him. It was such a carefree laugh, innocent and loving. So light and open. As if nothing mattered to the boy, as if nothing ever concerned him. That was probably what Hakkai hated about Goku. He was actually jealous.
Gods…
That was right. He was jealous of Goku. Of his easy-going, free-minded behaviour. Of his innocence and ignorance to problems in life. Of his ability to show affection and compassion to people he loved, and to receive the same affection to himself.
But most of all….. Most of all, he hated Goku because the boy reminded him so much of his happy life with Kanan.
Hakkai stood up abruptly. The knives, the ingredients and the plates he was holding fell clattering on the floor. He bent down his head. His fist was shaking with anger, blinded anger that consumed his heart in the worst way.
Hak Ryu flew to the corner of the room in shock and fright. The little dragon sensed something wrong with its master. Something awakened. It frightened it very much.
Goku froze on the bed, staring at Hakkai's back in confusion. He couldn't see Hakkai's face but he did notice Hakkai's shaking fists. The boy leaped off the bed in sudden wariness.
"What's wrong, Hakkai?" he asked.
"Get out."
Goku was started. Hakkai's voice was calm, not at all loud. But what the man actually said was what surprised Goku very much. Did he just tell him to get out? This was very strange. Very unlike Hakkai.
Goku remembered what Gojyo said in the hallway. Keep an eye on Hakkai. He didn't know what that meant before. Perhaps this was what Gojyo warned him about.
Worriedly, Goku leaped off the bed and approached the man.
"Hakkai, are you all right?"
"Get out of my room. Now."
Instead of obeying the strange order, Goku, being his stubborn and curious self, took a few steps closer to Hakkai. He was now standing in front of the man, facing Hakkai's rigid stance. He tilted his face as to see into Hakkai's face.
"Hakkai, what's wrong? Are you ill or something?" he blinked his eyes curiously.
Hakkai could feel his breath grew harsher. Damn it, this boy….. Why did he have to come closer? Why couldn't he just leave the room? If he had known what I had almost done last night, he wouldn't be staring at me so innocently as he was now….
Ignorant to Hakkai's inner feelings, Goku reached a hand to touch Hakkai's forehead, to check for temperature. The result was alarming on Hakkai. As if a lightning struck his body in million electric jolts. As if a burning, hot metal just touched his skin.
Instinctively, he slapped the hand away in a powerful force.
Thunder struck outside the window, turning the world into a surrealistic realm of contrasting darkness and light.
Goku gasped in shock. Never did he think that Hakkai's reaction to his act would be that harsh. He stared with wide eyes at the man, puzzlement and confusion filled those eyes.
To Hakkai, those eyes were filled with fear and horror.
The storm broke with a loud rumble of thunders outside. Soon, water drops as big as pebbles started to slap on the windowpane. The stiflingly hot air turned into a stiflingly cold air. It was the kind of cold air that made you sweat, instead of shiver. Cold, sickening wind blew hard into the room, extinguishing the little flames burnt over the candles in the chandelier hung from the ceiling.
The room had turned so dark, so black, only the occasional streak of lightning lightened the room.
Hakkai hugged his own body, trying to calm the shuddering it went through. He could feel his sanity slipping away. The void in his head had now filled with hatred. Regret. Loneliness. Sorrow. Frustration. Hunger. Jealousy.
Madness.
He heard heavy heavings of breath, loud but blurry in the dark room. Those eyes, those big, brown eyes were staring at him in cold fear. As if the boy was seeing a monster transformed before his eyes. Which was probably the truth. Literally.
Am I still you perfect man, boy? Do you still think I'm perfect? How easy for you to say it. You won't understand. Your stupid, innocent, ignorant I'm-so-happy-so-I-think-the-rest-of-the-world-is-too mind won't ever understand.
I'll make you see what I see. I'll make you feel what I feel.
Hakkai grabbed Goku's wrist with a speed faster than lightning. Goku didn't even notice what was going on. Then, forcefully, Hakkai pulled the confused boy on to the bed, throwing him like a bag of sand to the bed. Goku yelped, more in surprise than in pain.
"Hakkai, what are you…."
Hakkai muffled the boy by pushing him on the bed. Before Goku had the time to react, Hakkai ripped the boy's pants off his legs. Screaming, Goku struggled to free himself, kicking and punching. But Hakkai's hands pinned his own down to the bed with incredible force, he couldn't even budge an inch.
I'll make you see what I see….
Hakkai forced the boy's naked legs to open. He pinned the kicking legs with his body weight, to prevent them from hurting him.
"Hakkai….. why are you doing this….?" Goku screamed between his useless struggles and resistances.
….see what I'm seeing every time I see the rain….
….Kanan's blood flowing like a stream down her body into the darkness called death….
Using one of his knee to pin Goku's legs to the bed, Hakkai managed to opened his zipper. He peeled his pants down to his knee. Seeing this, Goku's eyes widen in terror. The boy had just realized what Hakkai was going to do. He fought with more force, but still his fighting was to no avail. Hakkai had become stronger, way too strong for him to resist.
"I'll make you feel what I feel….," Hakkai whispered hoarsely, with a voice that was not like Hakkai's at all.
Goku didn't have any warnings. Hakkai rammed himself into him in sheer force. Throwing his head backwards, Goku could see stars in his eyes. His throat hurt from screaming so loud. Hakkai muffled his screaming with his hand.
It hurt. It really hurt. Goku winced and felt his throat would burst with painful chokes. Hakkai pulled himself away, only to rammed again into Goku in deep, painful thrusts. Sobbing with pain, Goku was almost limp. The pain was unbearable. He lost his breath, he lost his sight. What he could feel was the throbbing pain in the lower part of his body.
"Hak…kai….. stop….."
Hakkai rammed once more, and more, and more. He was insanely enjoying how Goku plead and begged him to stop. Feel that, boy. That's nothing compared to the pain you've brought me. Feel that and remember that for the rest of your life…
"Hakkai…Hak….Arhg….it hurts….. it hurts……."
Hakkai released his pin on Goku's hands. It was not like Goku could do anything to fight him. The boy almost passed out from the pain only. Goku scratched and clawed Hakkai's shirt more to compensate the pain than to struggle. Tears melt down his face for the pain he suffered badly.
Hakkai thrust deeper and grunted in pleasure. Gods…. How long had he been longing for this? To touch someone else again…. To feel himself being inside someone else… It felt too much…
He opened his hazy eyes. The sight of the boy crying and begging underneath him turned him on even more. The boy has finally seen…. The boy has finally felt…. What it is like to always be tortured with pain, he will remember this…. No more will he call me a perfect man…. No more will he display his stupid, innocent affection…. He will see how the world actually is… Nothing is simple…. Nothing is perfect…. What there is only pain… Remember that….
From that point on, the feral, beastly desire took over Hakkai's entire being. Consumed not only with rage and hatred, Hakkai had begun to let lust to control him. He thrust, he rammed, he dived his arousal deeper and deeper into the boy's tight body. Hot as the pleasure begun to build inside him, hot as he felt he almost burst. When the peak arrived, he rode it with such rough force, he made Goku passed out from the pain.
Exhausted and spent, Hakkai fell to the bed, as though the climax had not only deprived him of his seed, but also his life source and power.
Hak Ryu froze at the corner of the room, turning its face away as if to hide the fact that it was a witness to the whole unspeakable crime.
***TBC***
yoong's A/N: Uh oh, it's a bit too harsh, ne? laugh nervously ^^;; Well, I won't make any excuses since the viloence in this part is actually originated from my evil brain. I just hope you can tolerate reading this fic further, finding Hakkai's reason for his vicious act and its result. Actually, my heart's broken when Goku cried. He's really my No.1 character, and look at what I had done to himo_O;; Oh, Goku I promise you'll have a happy ending in this fic!
Sumeragi Sakura's Little Rambling: I really hope you read the warning before you read this chapter. If you didn't, …ouch, sorry. I know that some of you, if not all of you, will probably…frown upon the rape scene. You'd probably think, damn it, it's Hakkai we're talking about here. The world would come to an end first before Hakkai'd do something like that. Well, Yoong and I have been brewing and stirring and brewing again, this idea before we wrote it. That's the whole point of this fic, I guess. We just want to show you that yes, even Hakkai is human and by that means he's imperfect. If you think the scene, no, the whole fic is believable, thank you. You will see both of us prancing with joy before our computers. But if you don't, ….well, tough. We already wrote this fic down and uploaded it online and have you read it up to this point. *sweatdrops* But of course, I'd be happy to talk about it (Yoong might too… you should look up her address in her bio page and ask her. ^__^). Discussing whether some hot guys should or should not have sexual intercourse is always one of my favorite topics.