XVI

They stayed out in the fields for a long time. For a lot of it they were silent, but the stretches between speech were no less meaningful that the words.

"I wish I didn't have to leave you here," Abbey said, and Jed gave her a soft smile.

"I'll survive," he assured her. "I always have."

"You know that doesn't make it okay."

She looked him in the eye, and he looked down, watching his own fingers stirring the grass. She touched his arm.

"Jed..." She took a long breath. "You don't have to tell me anything," she promised. "You will never have to tell me anything. But whatever you tell me, it could never make me pity you... it could never make you one tiny fraction smaller in my eyes. I love you. I think you're amazing. And nothing- nothing you could ever tell me, nothing you could ever show me about yourself would make me feel that any less."

He smiled at her, eyes far older than his years looking out of a face that was still more than half boy. "Thank you," he said simply, and she knew that it must mean a lot to him. He wasn't ready to talk about whatever had passed between him and his father... perhaps he never would be. If he ever wanted to talk, she would be there for him. If he never did, she would respect his silence. Whether he told her anything or not, she would love and support him as he needed.

He circled his arm around her, and she leaned against him. He hadn't bothered to slip his shirt back on, and his bare skin was smooth and warm against her. One day, she promised herself, she would know every inch of it as well as and better than she knew her own. She rubbed his chest, and he made a rumbling chuckle deep within it that was almost a purr.

"You know I'm going home this afternoon," she reminded him, as if either of them could have forgotten.

"Yeah," he sighed regretfully. It was almost a yawn; the heat of the sun made things drowsy and dreamlike.

"Wanna leave it all behind and run away with me?"

He smiled at her. "Yeah. But I'm not gonna."

"No." She laid her head back against his chest, and he stroked her hair lazily.

"I like it out here in the fields," she observed after a while. "It's so peaceful."

"Yeah," Jed agreed warmly. "I was thinking... one day, I'd love to have a farm out here. A proper farm, with animals and everything - but not a working farm. Just a place where you can, you know, walk through the fields or lean over the fence and watch the sunset."

"You'd go stir-crazy living on a farm," she reminded him. "You need people."

He shrugged easily. "Well, it can be our holiday home. When you're a big-shot doctor, supporting us both."

She snickered and yawned. "Something like that."

After a few moments of lazing, Jed sat up, dislodging her. "Quit fidgeting," she objected drowsily. "You make a lousy pillow."

He just smiled, and looked at her in a way that made her feel self-consciously warm and flustered. She flicked back the ends of her hair. "What?" she asked, uncharacteristically shyly.

"You look at home out here," he told her. "Out in the fields, where everything's wild and beautiful."

She surprised herself by blushing slightly. There was an unusual seriousness to him here and now, and she was powerless against it. The look in his eyes cut through playful flirting to the deeper emotion beneath, and it left her breathless.

"I love you," he told her. "I think you're the most wonderful thing in the world. And you make me... When I'm with you, I feel like I'm me. All the way, as much as I can possibly be. You take me outside of myself and show me all the things that I could be that I never knew how to before. You make me into... something greater."

Abbey touched his lips to quiet him. "You would have been great no matter what, Josiah Bartlet," she told him quietly.

"Maybe," he said. "But I would never have been happy."

She touched his lips again, and kissed them, chasing away the solemn remnants of a reality that might have been.

"You'll never be alone again," she promised. "I'll always be with you. No matter what happens, no matter where we go and how long we're apart. I'll be with you."

"You already are," he told her, taking both her hands. "You're part of me now... the part that was missing."

"Your other half?" She smirked slightly.

"My other whole," he corrected.

"You always know what to say," Abbey smiled at him. "Well, you know. Apart from when you say something really stupid. But... most times."

She hugged him. "I hope so," he murmured against her shoulder.

Jed hesitated when they pulled apart, and scuffled his toe in the grass.

"I-" He broke off and smiled shyly. "I'm gonna do this all wrong, okay? But bear with me."

"I'll try to constrain myself," she said dryly.

"I... I love you. A lot. A... a whole lot."

Abbey blinked at him, and then just had to giggle. "Tell me, do you have written proof of those SAT scores?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, pouting. "Can you shut up at let me make the big romantic speech, please?"

She raised a hand to her forehead and pretended to go weak at the knees. "My, you're sweeping me off my feet."

"Shh." But he chuckled. "Okay. Okay. Look serious, please." She nodded briskly and set her jaw, holding in more laughter. "As we have previously established, I am completely, hopelessly, ridiculously crazily in love with you. To the point of uncharacteristic ineloquence."

"But at no loss to your long-windedness," she noted.

"Do you mind? Yes. I love you. And you love me."

"And we've got a love thing."

He gazed at her mock-sternly from underneath his eyebrows. "Any more of these interruptions, young lady, and I'm going to make you stand in the corner."

"Sorry." She once again schooled her expression into something approaching serious.

"Anyway, what I wanted to say was... I can't imagine ever being without you, and- I don't know what I would do if you ever- Oh, dammit." He threw up his hands, and grinned at her, eyes twinkling. "Marry me?" he said optimistically.

She burst out laughing and threw herself into his arms, knocking him backwards.

"Hey, hey, hey!" he objected, laughing. "I'm not just a piece of meat, you know! Answer the question, lady."

She pulled away from him and brushed back her hair, composing her face. "Maybe," she said, with a grin.

He arched his eyebrows at her. "Did you just say... maybe?"

She smirked. "Gonna make you sweat it a little first."

"Is that right?" he demanded, advancing on her and lightly gripping her by the wrists. She backed up.

"That's a fact," she agreed.

"Then I guess I'll have to be... more persuasive." He waggled his eyebrows and leaned in to kiss her. She let his lips brush hers and then drew back teasingly. He leaned further, and the two of them went down in a jumble of limbs. Jed grabbed for her.

"Oh, no fair tickling, no fair tickling!" she yelped, trying to roll out of his reach.

"All's fair in love, war and marriage proposals," he told her, grinning wildly, his hair sticking up in all directions. "Answer the question, lady, or there's more where that came from."

"I'm not telling you anything now- Oh, no, Jed, stop it, hey- stop it!"

"Surrender!" he demanded, gleefully flushed and out of breath as she struggled to stop him tickling her.

"If you honestly think- I'm gonna- marry you if you- keep-" Her breath deserted her, and she collapsed, giggling uncontrollably, into his arms.

They lay together in the long grass, limbs and laughter mingling, and the sound of bright young voices rising up into the summer sky. In the grand scheme of things, it was really only a few short moments before they had to part.

But sometimes, a couple of moments could last forever.

THE END