Chapter 10
Facing The Truth
"Sodding birds! Can't a vamp get some sleep around here?" Spike groaned at the loud chirping outside the bedroom window.
"Sorry Spike, things got a bit hot in here last night, I forgot to close the window," Buffy apologised.
She stretched, looking at the bedside clock.
" It is 9:00 am," She informed him
"So?" he answered.
" We have a prior appointment with mom and the gang," She reminded him.
Both occupants of the bed started, at the knock on the door
"Can I come in?" asked Joyce.
" Sure mom, we are both decent," answered Buffy.
Joyce entered the room and sat down on the end of the bed. The silence hung heavy in the air, both parties unsure of how to begin. Buffy broke the silence first.
" Mom, I am so sorry," apologised Buffy.
Joyce looked at them both and sighed.
" I cannot pretend that I am not hurt, my only daughter runs off in the night to get married. With not so much as a word," she said.
" If you want to blame any one, blame me Joyce. I could have talked her out of it; my only excuse is that I love your daughter. If her happiness required our being married, who am I to deny her that?" asked Spike.
Joyce seemed satisfied with Spike's statement. She looked at her daughter.
" And you feel absolutely the same way?" Joyce asked.
" Yes, I love him. I can't imagine my life without Spike. All I am, all I have done has led me to this perfect happiness. My life hasn't been filled with puppies and kittens mom, but being with him makes all the bad disappear. At least easier to bear. I have truly never felt so loved and cherished as I am by him," Buffy replied.
Joyce frowned, "I hope you will both be singing the same tune later. Willow is awake and Xander and Anya are on their way over,"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Sorry about last night, I was a bit tired from all the travelling. That's what I was supposed to say isn't it Xander?" asked Anya.
Xander raised his eyes to the ceiling; Anya was never going to get the subtleties of human behaviour, he thought. Buffy bounded down the stairs.
" Hi guys, everything all set then?" Buffy asked.
" Yeah pretty simple really, I just chant a few words as we all hold hands," Said Willow.
" Right, I will go get my cup of coffee, otherwise I will be dead on my feet," grinned Buffy.
" Talking of the dead, where's your significant other?" asked Xander.
" He'll be down soon," answered Buffy, disappearing into the kitchen.
Xander got up and followed Buffy.
" Get you a coffee Xander?" she asked.
" No thanks Buff, we need to talk," Said Xander.
" What about?" she frowned.
Not liking the expression on her friend's face.
" How could you?" he asked.
" How could I What?" Buffy was genuinely confused.
" Have sex with that," he replied, pointing his finger towards the ceiling.
Buffy tried to dampen down the anger at Xander's attitude.
" None of you ever gives him a chance. He's really changed, look at your own choice of partner first, before bad-mouthing mine,"
"At least Anya has a soul," he replied.
" What is a soul? Just look at "souled" people, does a soul stop someone from murder or violence or cruelty?" She asked him.
Spike entered the kitchen "Murder, violence, cruelty; my three favourite subjects," He grinned at Xander before giving Buffy a thorough kissing.
" Spike!"
" Just kidding love," He said.
Xander raised an eyebrow to make his point.
" The sooner we get this show on the road, the sooner we can all get back to normal," said Xander.
" Well that would be a first. Especially living so close to the hell mouth," She laughed.
Xander left them alone, he couldn't stand seeing Buffy wrapped around Spike for one second longer. Buffy grabbed her coffee and her husband.
" Let's go and prove them all wrong," She said, pulling him in the direction of the lounge.
Spike resisted.
" What is it?" She asked,
"I am afraid," he admitted
"I thought the big bad was scared of nothing," She said.
" I was; until I loved you. Now I am afraid we will lose everything," he admitted.
" Never gonna happen," She beamed at him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"So we all have to sit in the magic circle and hold hands?" asked Xander.
" Yep," Said Willow.
" I am not holding that wanker's hand for no-one," Said Spike, glaring at Xander.
" Come and sit between Buffy and I," invited Willow.
Joyce guided Giles into the circle. All five of them, settled into the ring and held hands. Willow got ready to start her incantation.
"Ooh Spike, what cold hands you have," Shivered Willow.
" Mrs Lovejoy doesn't have any complaints about them," He leered, squeezing Buffy's hand.
" Sssh," said Buffy blushing bright red.
" Cold does feel sexy. When Xander and I used to have sex, we used ice cubes," said Anya.
" Anya, that's a little too much information," choked Xander.
" Please be quiet, I need to concentrate," complained Willow.
" Sorry," said Xander apologetically.
Willow lit the bowl of magic weed in the centre of the circle and began.
" Mighty Hectare hear me now, as I call on your powers," Willow chanted.
The bowl started to vibrate as the contents glowed red, Willow continued.
" Let the healing power begin; let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken," she said.
" I don't feel any different," said Xander.
" How about you Giles, can you see anything?" asked Joyce.
" No, not yet, are you sure you did the spell correctly Willow?" asked Giles.
" Yes," said Willow, slightly offended.
Buffy and Spike remained silent. Joyce looked at them both, Buffy snatched her hand away from Spike, looking at him with horror in her eyes.
" Oh my God!" Buffy exclaimed,
"What is it pet?" Spike asked putting out his hand to touch her arm.
Buffy reared back, punching Spike on the nose.
" Don't touch me!" she yelled, getting up out of the circle, running upstairs and slamming their bedroom door.
Spike sat there looking at the floor, his head slowly shaking.
" I've lost her," He muttered sorrowfully.
Joyce knelt down beside her son-in-law; she touched his bowed blonde head. He looked up at her, tears in his eyes.
" She hates me Joyce, I saw it in her eyes," said Spike.
Joyce put her hand on his shoulder and patted it comfortingly.
" You still feel the same about her as you did before the spell was broken, don't you?" she asked.
" Yes," he said simply.
Joyce sighed, "Until we talk to Buffy, we can't know what she is feeling,"
"Maybe, I should go and talk to her?" said Spike hopefully.
"No, I know my daughter. I don't think it will help matters, give her time," She advised.
Giles gasped, "My sight it's returning, I can see shapes and colours,"
"Oh thank God!" said Willow, with great relief.
" God! When has he ever been around when he's needed?" asked Spike bitterly.
" I think if someone got me my glasses I would be able to see perfectly now, Joyce?" asked Giles.
" I'll get them Rupert; I put them away in your room as they were not exactly needed. At the same time I will go and make sure Buffy is ok," she replied.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Joyce knocked at Buffy's door; there was no answer.
" Buffy can I come in?" asked her mom.
" Go away!" Buffy yelled.
Joyce took a deep breath, ignoring her sometimes-wilful daughter; she entered her room. Buffy, was curled up in a ball on the bed. She raised her tear stained face to look at her mom, seeing the compassion and concern on her mom's face, made a whole new wave of tears course down her cheeks. Joyce sat down beside her daughter, gently stroking her hair away from her face.
" What is it honey?" asked Joyce.
" I don't know mom, it's hard to explain it. One moment I was holding hands with the man of my dreams, Willow said those words, then all I could feel was this terrible emptiness and hatred," she sobbed.
" Towards what, or whom?" asked Joyce.
" I don't know, I think it was Spike. It's like; I've been living one tremendous lie for the last six months. All the anger and frustration I felt towards him before his proposal came back in one angry flood; now I feel so confused about what I feel. I don't know if I can trust my emotions any more," Buffy replied
" What do you need?" said Joyce.
" I need time, to work out what I really feel and if what I feel is real mom," she said sadly.
" Do you want to see Spike?" Joyce asked.
" Oh mom, I just can't face him right now," Buffy replied.
" Ok, I'll tell him," Joyce sighed, leaving Buffy alone with her confused emotions.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Joyce returned to the living room, handing Giles his glasses, he took them and tried them on.
" Oh yes, that's much better," he said squinting slightly, unused to the light.
" So, what did she say mum?" asked Spike.
Joyce shook her head sadly.
" She won't see you Spike," she replied.
" That's it then, it's all over," he said dejectedly.
Spike got up from the floor and marched over to the front door. Daylight was streaming in. as he opened it and started to walk forward. A firm hand grabbing the collar of his duster halted his progress.
" Stop being so bloody melodramatic!" said Giles, pulling him back in and slamming the door.
Spike looked at Giles in amazement; if anyone had liked to see him fit in an ashtray, Spike would have thought it was Giles.
" Come and stay with me, I am moving out today. I can't impose on Joyce for a moment longer," said Giles surprising even himself by his offer.
" Are you sure Rupert, you are welcome to stay a few more days," offered Joyce.
" No, my apartment has been empty long enough," he replied.
" Have I been transported into an alternate universe, where everyone thinks Spike is the good guy?" asked Xander, in disbelief.
" It's perfectly safe, besides he has nowhere to go," said Giles.
" Can I just say, how much I don't care?" asked Xander.
" Sweetie, why don't we just to go to your parents basement and have lots of orgasms?" asked Anya.
" Fine! Anything is better than staying in this mad house," Xander replied.
He grabbed Anya and slammed out of the house.
Spike sat slumped on the sofa, his head bowed. Joyce came and sat next to him.
" Don't give up son, just give her time, I know how much you love her, but she is very confused right now. She needs space to work it all out in her head," she told him.
Spike looked at Joyce, there was a flicker of hope in his eyes.
" Ok, I will do what you ask. I'll go and stay with Rupes here, but if anything changes; let me know, ok?" said Spike.
" Where's Willow," Joyce asked Giles.
" Guilt baking in the kitchen, if I am not mistaken," said Giles, sniffing the air.
" It's going to take more than a few baked goodies to fix this mess," sighed Joyce.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Thanks for taking me in like this," said Spike, looking around Giles's dusty apartment.
It had been several months since anyone had been here; it had a slightly musty unused odour to it.
" Think nothing of it, you helped me in my hour of need," said Giles awkwardly.
" So where do I sleep, please don't tell me it's that bleedin' awful bath tub again?" asked Spike.
" No, um you get the couch," Giles replied.
Shakespeare nudged his head around the front door, sniffing at his new home.
" Come here boy," said Spike patting his leg.
Shakespeare went to the blonde vamp and settled by his feet.
" Looks like we both have a new home," Spike said sadly, to the resting dog.
" Don't know about you, but I could use a drink; a real one!" emphasised Giles.
Giles went over to one of the many bookcases spread around the room. He shifted a few books to one side, pulling out a near full decanter of brandy, holding it aloft in triumph.
" Spike, you get some glasses, they are in the cupboard just as you go in the kitchen," he instructed.
Spike got off the sofa, glad to have something to do. He swiftly returned with two glass tumblers.
" Say when," said Giles pouring a generous amount into Spike's glass.
It was almost to the top before Spike told him to stop. Giles frowned at him.
" What? I need it! Serious pain here," he said clutching his chest.
Spike gulped down the amber liquid, it numbing qualities starting to take effect. Giles sipped at his own; knowing its potency.
" I need another," said Spike, slurring his words slightly.
" Pace yourself Spike, the night is young," said Giles.
" Sod the frigging' night," said Spike.
Giles paled at Spike's expletive
"Frigging, frigg; it that a word you use quite often Spike?" Giles enquired
"Yeah, when the occasion calls for it, why?" He asked haughtily, gulping down a second drink.
" Now think real hard; have you used that word in the last few days?" Giles asked him.
" Dunno, could have; oh yeah wait! I did say it on my wedding night. I fell off the bed right after I put on this," Said Spike, pulling the chain of the pendant out from beneath his black t-shirt.
" Oh God," said Giles.
" What?" asked Spike, pouring himself another drink.
TBC
Facing The Truth
"Sodding birds! Can't a vamp get some sleep around here?" Spike groaned at the loud chirping outside the bedroom window.
"Sorry Spike, things got a bit hot in here last night, I forgot to close the window," Buffy apologised.
She stretched, looking at the bedside clock.
" It is 9:00 am," She informed him
"So?" he answered.
" We have a prior appointment with mom and the gang," She reminded him.
Both occupants of the bed started, at the knock on the door
"Can I come in?" asked Joyce.
" Sure mom, we are both decent," answered Buffy.
Joyce entered the room and sat down on the end of the bed. The silence hung heavy in the air, both parties unsure of how to begin. Buffy broke the silence first.
" Mom, I am so sorry," apologised Buffy.
Joyce looked at them both and sighed.
" I cannot pretend that I am not hurt, my only daughter runs off in the night to get married. With not so much as a word," she said.
" If you want to blame any one, blame me Joyce. I could have talked her out of it; my only excuse is that I love your daughter. If her happiness required our being married, who am I to deny her that?" asked Spike.
Joyce seemed satisfied with Spike's statement. She looked at her daughter.
" And you feel absolutely the same way?" Joyce asked.
" Yes, I love him. I can't imagine my life without Spike. All I am, all I have done has led me to this perfect happiness. My life hasn't been filled with puppies and kittens mom, but being with him makes all the bad disappear. At least easier to bear. I have truly never felt so loved and cherished as I am by him," Buffy replied.
Joyce frowned, "I hope you will both be singing the same tune later. Willow is awake and Xander and Anya are on their way over,"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Sorry about last night, I was a bit tired from all the travelling. That's what I was supposed to say isn't it Xander?" asked Anya.
Xander raised his eyes to the ceiling; Anya was never going to get the subtleties of human behaviour, he thought. Buffy bounded down the stairs.
" Hi guys, everything all set then?" Buffy asked.
" Yeah pretty simple really, I just chant a few words as we all hold hands," Said Willow.
" Right, I will go get my cup of coffee, otherwise I will be dead on my feet," grinned Buffy.
" Talking of the dead, where's your significant other?" asked Xander.
" He'll be down soon," answered Buffy, disappearing into the kitchen.
Xander got up and followed Buffy.
" Get you a coffee Xander?" she asked.
" No thanks Buff, we need to talk," Said Xander.
" What about?" she frowned.
Not liking the expression on her friend's face.
" How could you?" he asked.
" How could I What?" Buffy was genuinely confused.
" Have sex with that," he replied, pointing his finger towards the ceiling.
Buffy tried to dampen down the anger at Xander's attitude.
" None of you ever gives him a chance. He's really changed, look at your own choice of partner first, before bad-mouthing mine,"
"At least Anya has a soul," he replied.
" What is a soul? Just look at "souled" people, does a soul stop someone from murder or violence or cruelty?" She asked him.
Spike entered the kitchen "Murder, violence, cruelty; my three favourite subjects," He grinned at Xander before giving Buffy a thorough kissing.
" Spike!"
" Just kidding love," He said.
Xander raised an eyebrow to make his point.
" The sooner we get this show on the road, the sooner we can all get back to normal," said Xander.
" Well that would be a first. Especially living so close to the hell mouth," She laughed.
Xander left them alone, he couldn't stand seeing Buffy wrapped around Spike for one second longer. Buffy grabbed her coffee and her husband.
" Let's go and prove them all wrong," She said, pulling him in the direction of the lounge.
Spike resisted.
" What is it?" She asked,
"I am afraid," he admitted
"I thought the big bad was scared of nothing," She said.
" I was; until I loved you. Now I am afraid we will lose everything," he admitted.
" Never gonna happen," She beamed at him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"So we all have to sit in the magic circle and hold hands?" asked Xander.
" Yep," Said Willow.
" I am not holding that wanker's hand for no-one," Said Spike, glaring at Xander.
" Come and sit between Buffy and I," invited Willow.
Joyce guided Giles into the circle. All five of them, settled into the ring and held hands. Willow got ready to start her incantation.
"Ooh Spike, what cold hands you have," Shivered Willow.
" Mrs Lovejoy doesn't have any complaints about them," He leered, squeezing Buffy's hand.
" Sssh," said Buffy blushing bright red.
" Cold does feel sexy. When Xander and I used to have sex, we used ice cubes," said Anya.
" Anya, that's a little too much information," choked Xander.
" Please be quiet, I need to concentrate," complained Willow.
" Sorry," said Xander apologetically.
Willow lit the bowl of magic weed in the centre of the circle and began.
" Mighty Hectare hear me now, as I call on your powers," Willow chanted.
The bowl started to vibrate as the contents glowed red, Willow continued.
" Let the healing power begin; let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken," she said.
" I don't feel any different," said Xander.
" How about you Giles, can you see anything?" asked Joyce.
" No, not yet, are you sure you did the spell correctly Willow?" asked Giles.
" Yes," said Willow, slightly offended.
Buffy and Spike remained silent. Joyce looked at them both, Buffy snatched her hand away from Spike, looking at him with horror in her eyes.
" Oh my God!" Buffy exclaimed,
"What is it pet?" Spike asked putting out his hand to touch her arm.
Buffy reared back, punching Spike on the nose.
" Don't touch me!" she yelled, getting up out of the circle, running upstairs and slamming their bedroom door.
Spike sat there looking at the floor, his head slowly shaking.
" I've lost her," He muttered sorrowfully.
Joyce knelt down beside her son-in-law; she touched his bowed blonde head. He looked up at her, tears in his eyes.
" She hates me Joyce, I saw it in her eyes," said Spike.
Joyce put her hand on his shoulder and patted it comfortingly.
" You still feel the same about her as you did before the spell was broken, don't you?" she asked.
" Yes," he said simply.
Joyce sighed, "Until we talk to Buffy, we can't know what she is feeling,"
"Maybe, I should go and talk to her?" said Spike hopefully.
"No, I know my daughter. I don't think it will help matters, give her time," She advised.
Giles gasped, "My sight it's returning, I can see shapes and colours,"
"Oh thank God!" said Willow, with great relief.
" God! When has he ever been around when he's needed?" asked Spike bitterly.
" I think if someone got me my glasses I would be able to see perfectly now, Joyce?" asked Giles.
" I'll get them Rupert; I put them away in your room as they were not exactly needed. At the same time I will go and make sure Buffy is ok," she replied.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Joyce knocked at Buffy's door; there was no answer.
" Buffy can I come in?" asked her mom.
" Go away!" Buffy yelled.
Joyce took a deep breath, ignoring her sometimes-wilful daughter; she entered her room. Buffy, was curled up in a ball on the bed. She raised her tear stained face to look at her mom, seeing the compassion and concern on her mom's face, made a whole new wave of tears course down her cheeks. Joyce sat down beside her daughter, gently stroking her hair away from her face.
" What is it honey?" asked Joyce.
" I don't know mom, it's hard to explain it. One moment I was holding hands with the man of my dreams, Willow said those words, then all I could feel was this terrible emptiness and hatred," she sobbed.
" Towards what, or whom?" asked Joyce.
" I don't know, I think it was Spike. It's like; I've been living one tremendous lie for the last six months. All the anger and frustration I felt towards him before his proposal came back in one angry flood; now I feel so confused about what I feel. I don't know if I can trust my emotions any more," Buffy replied
" What do you need?" said Joyce.
" I need time, to work out what I really feel and if what I feel is real mom," she said sadly.
" Do you want to see Spike?" Joyce asked.
" Oh mom, I just can't face him right now," Buffy replied.
" Ok, I'll tell him," Joyce sighed, leaving Buffy alone with her confused emotions.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Joyce returned to the living room, handing Giles his glasses, he took them and tried them on.
" Oh yes, that's much better," he said squinting slightly, unused to the light.
" So, what did she say mum?" asked Spike.
Joyce shook her head sadly.
" She won't see you Spike," she replied.
" That's it then, it's all over," he said dejectedly.
Spike got up from the floor and marched over to the front door. Daylight was streaming in. as he opened it and started to walk forward. A firm hand grabbing the collar of his duster halted his progress.
" Stop being so bloody melodramatic!" said Giles, pulling him back in and slamming the door.
Spike looked at Giles in amazement; if anyone had liked to see him fit in an ashtray, Spike would have thought it was Giles.
" Come and stay with me, I am moving out today. I can't impose on Joyce for a moment longer," said Giles surprising even himself by his offer.
" Are you sure Rupert, you are welcome to stay a few more days," offered Joyce.
" No, my apartment has been empty long enough," he replied.
" Have I been transported into an alternate universe, where everyone thinks Spike is the good guy?" asked Xander, in disbelief.
" It's perfectly safe, besides he has nowhere to go," said Giles.
" Can I just say, how much I don't care?" asked Xander.
" Sweetie, why don't we just to go to your parents basement and have lots of orgasms?" asked Anya.
" Fine! Anything is better than staying in this mad house," Xander replied.
He grabbed Anya and slammed out of the house.
Spike sat slumped on the sofa, his head bowed. Joyce came and sat next to him.
" Don't give up son, just give her time, I know how much you love her, but she is very confused right now. She needs space to work it all out in her head," she told him.
Spike looked at Joyce, there was a flicker of hope in his eyes.
" Ok, I will do what you ask. I'll go and stay with Rupes here, but if anything changes; let me know, ok?" said Spike.
" Where's Willow," Joyce asked Giles.
" Guilt baking in the kitchen, if I am not mistaken," said Giles, sniffing the air.
" It's going to take more than a few baked goodies to fix this mess," sighed Joyce.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Thanks for taking me in like this," said Spike, looking around Giles's dusty apartment.
It had been several months since anyone had been here; it had a slightly musty unused odour to it.
" Think nothing of it, you helped me in my hour of need," said Giles awkwardly.
" So where do I sleep, please don't tell me it's that bleedin' awful bath tub again?" asked Spike.
" No, um you get the couch," Giles replied.
Shakespeare nudged his head around the front door, sniffing at his new home.
" Come here boy," said Spike patting his leg.
Shakespeare went to the blonde vamp and settled by his feet.
" Looks like we both have a new home," Spike said sadly, to the resting dog.
" Don't know about you, but I could use a drink; a real one!" emphasised Giles.
Giles went over to one of the many bookcases spread around the room. He shifted a few books to one side, pulling out a near full decanter of brandy, holding it aloft in triumph.
" Spike, you get some glasses, they are in the cupboard just as you go in the kitchen," he instructed.
Spike got off the sofa, glad to have something to do. He swiftly returned with two glass tumblers.
" Say when," said Giles pouring a generous amount into Spike's glass.
It was almost to the top before Spike told him to stop. Giles frowned at him.
" What? I need it! Serious pain here," he said clutching his chest.
Spike gulped down the amber liquid, it numbing qualities starting to take effect. Giles sipped at his own; knowing its potency.
" I need another," said Spike, slurring his words slightly.
" Pace yourself Spike, the night is young," said Giles.
" Sod the frigging' night," said Spike.
Giles paled at Spike's expletive
"Frigging, frigg; it that a word you use quite often Spike?" Giles enquired
"Yeah, when the occasion calls for it, why?" He asked haughtily, gulping down a second drink.
" Now think real hard; have you used that word in the last few days?" Giles asked him.
" Dunno, could have; oh yeah wait! I did say it on my wedding night. I fell off the bed right after I put on this," Said Spike, pulling the chain of the pendant out from beneath his black t-shirt.
" Oh God," said Giles.
" What?" asked Spike, pouring himself another drink.
TBC