Title: Between A Rock and A Hard Place

Part 9

Author: Rhasa

Rating: T for language

Spoilers: General Season 2 before 'Freak Nation' BEFORE MAX and Alec are seemingly together.

Category: Drama/Angst/ Relationship(s) Note plural.

Summary: Max goes into heat around a virus infected Logan who calls Alec for help. Disclaimer: Not mine. No infringement intended. No money being made, yadda yadda, yadda.

Feedback: Yes, please, pretty please.

His words shocked her and the expression on her face was enough to unleash everything that he had pent up inside of him. "I'd want it all. Max. I'd want the seduction and the foreplay and the kissing and the hand holding and the holding one another afterwards. The fucking I can get anywhere, anytime," he spat at her. "I'd even want those silly endearments that the ordinaries use. I want that sparkle in your eyes you'd get every time you see me, that blush to your cheeks when you'd be thinking about us, you moaning my name as you came - that's what an 'us' would be, Max. Not a late night explosion in the sack every couple of months where you'd leave money on the nightstand before you headed home to.. him!"

When he had finished yelling he noticed that she was breathing as hard as he was and wondered, if only for a moment, if he had gone too far. He had promised himself that he would never tell her.. not unless she had shown that she had felt something for him. He had promised himself that he would never allow himself to be hurt ever again but here he was standing before Max his own confession causing an all too familiar ache in his heart.

"But why?" came a small soft, disbelieving voice. "Why me? I'm just like all the other girls."

He looked at her, surprised that she saw herself that way, then realising that her words were more a reflection on his on character than hers. "No. No you're NOT like other girls, Max," he said.

"But it'd just be business- an arrangement," Max said more to herself than him, still trying to work out what was happening.

"No. It wouldn't. Not to me," he said in a low tone, finally staring straight into her eyes. "It wouldn't just be a lay, Max. It wouldn't just be sex. With you it could never just be like that."

Alec waited, and watched as Max stared at the floor. The flicking of hers eyes the only sign of the turmoil inside her.

"I didn't know," she whispered in the sudden noticeable stillness of the room.

"No. I guess you didn't. I'm guessing Logan didn't either."

"Logan.." she sighed.

His heart broke at the way she said his name and he bowed his head once more. "Go home, Max. Go back to Logan."

She lifted her eyes to meet his, but he avoided her gaze. Her mind was racing. She had come here to ask for his help, a part of her knowing that such a request was admitting defeat against Manticore, another part hoping that she could take some twisted control over her life. But it had suddenly turned into something completely unexpected; something that now threatened their friendship. "But what about .. us?" She stammered not really knowing what name to put on what they had between them now.

"There is no 'us'," he simply said.

She stood saying nothing until his hushed voice broke the uncomfortable silence that seemed to cling to them. "Maybe I should get out of Seattle. Move on," he said, offering her a way out of this tangled mess that now lay between them

"I don't want to lose you, Alec."

He looked at her. "I don't think I can stay."

"Is that why you've stayed all these months? Because of me?"

Silently he answered her question with the mere look on his face.

"Alec," she sighed.

"I don't need your pity."

"I don't pity you," she said adamantly.

"Don't you? I can see that look in your eyes."

"No. I just wish that.. that things could be different between us."

"I told you what I'd want, Max."

"I love Logan," she whispered.

"I thought so," he said his head bowed in defeat.

"But that doesn't mean there isn't any room for anyone else in my life."

He looked up at her.

"I love Logan. I'll always love Logan. But that doesn't mean that we, you and I, can't have something together," she offered.

"I guess you didn't understand me the first time, Max. I don't share well with others," he growled.

"I know. And I'm not asking you to."

"Then what is it that you're asking me again?"

"I can't hope to ever have with you what I have with Logan. That just wouldn't be possible. You're not Logan. And Logan isn't you. And I'm a different me when I'm around either of you. So it wouldn't be sharing because it wouldn't be the same thing for either of you. It'd be different, separate and unique."

"You are making no sense whatsoever," he sighed in frustration. "What are you saying, Max? That you want to be with me?"

"I'm... I'm not sure. I just know that I don't want to lose you."

Alec scoffed at her words.

"It's true," she tried to convince him. "I don't want to lose you, Alec. As infuriating as you are sometimes I need you in my life.. I want you in my life."

"And I want you in mine," he confessed again. "But what we both want although seemingly similar is also so totally opposite."

She didn't really have anything to say to that. She knew he was right. She'd never admit to him that she wanted it both ways.

"I was wrong to ask you what I did," she said after a few more moments of awkward silence.

"I know you were desperate. I know you love Logan. And you didn't know how I felt about you," he said with more understanding than she deserved.

"Yet you still didn't say 'yes'."

"It wouldn't have been real, Max."

She nodded and smiled ever so slightly to herself over the fact that he had surprised her again. The egotistical self-centred smart alec was not so self-absorbed as she had believed.

"So what now?" she asked, hoping he would have a solution since she couldn't think of one.

"I don't know," he sighed in defeat looking over at her sad face and her sad eyes, his heart breaking a little more. Once again, admitting silently to himself that he too didn't want to lose her, that he needed and wanted her in his life, he made her an offer. "I guess.. maybe.. we could go back to the way things were before."

"Friends?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah," he said with a mischievous smirk.

"And you'll stay in Seattle?" she asked, silently adding a 'with me?' that he couldn't hear.

"For now."

She nodded, satisfied for now with his answer, the nausea in her stomach settling somewhat. "Well I guess I'd better blaze," she said as she took a few tentative steps towards his door. " I'd better go tell Logan the bad news, that he won't have as much of a reason to hate you as he would have liked."

"Who would ever have thought that telling Logan that I refuse to jump his girl would be bad news?" He tried to joke, but for some reason the smile didn't reach his lips.

Max smiled nonetheless. "Give him time. He'll come up with another reason to hate you," she joked back as she opened the door.

"Well then, I'll try not to disappoint him."

"You do that."

She smiled sadly one last time, pausing for a brief moment trying o gauge the air between them, then she turned to leave before he called her name.

"Max?"

"Yeah?"

"I gotta know," he began,uncomfortable but determined. "I know I may be a sucker for punishment, but I gotta know.."

"What?"

"If Logan wasn't here first.. if he wasn't here at all.. then, would you ... you know, ever consider looking in my direction?"

She looked at him then, really looked at him and she marvelled at how young and yet how mature, how vulnerable and yet how strong and how lost and yet so determined he seemed. His eyes met hers and were filled with both uncertainty and hope.

"I've looked in your direction since the moment we met," she admitted softly before she closed the door behind her.

He sighed and nodded his head knowing that that was all she was capable of giving him for now.

THE END

See the sequel 'Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea' also available on

That's it folks. Hey it had to end somewhere! Yes I know what I promised you, and I know some of you are calling for my head on a platter, but I couldn't help it! This last part was the hardest thing in the world to write! ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH Hence the reason why I haven't posted in days. I actually wrote this 5 times and I still don't like it. So here's a bit of an explanation.

Sex and Love are 2 different things. I really wanted Alec to accept Max and Logan's offer under the guise that he was just 'helping her out' but really he would be in love with her-that way Max could be with both Logan and Alec. But then "noble" Alec decided to rear his head in an earlier part of the story, which believe me, even though I am the author was a complete surprise. (What do you think I have actual control over these characters?)

It was kind of fun writing 'noble' Alec and so I ran with it. I thought that I would be able to get them all back on track and have a scene where Alec and Max did the deed during a heat session and when she went to leave he would ask her to stay the night (something she had never done before) and not return to Logan and she would and she would also soon discover that this little business arrangement wasn't just business and Logan would realise that his little plan wasn't working as something more was developing between Max and Alec cause you can't have that kind of arrangement without feeling something for the other partner I don't care how much Manticore you are and I dare you to say all that in one breath!

But it just didn't turn out the way I wanted. I still liked how Alec refused Max. I mean he could have had her, he really could. He could have had his dream but he refused! Why? Because he really is complex (just look at his relationship with Rachel) and he wouldn't take advantage of Max in that way. But that doesn't mean he would stop trying to endear himself to her.

Anyway, I know some of this was totally far fetched (but I really don't think as far fetched as some other fics out there). I ABSOLUTELY LOVED reading all your comments. Even though I am a M/A Shipper and many of you thought Logan was a sleaze in this I actually wanted to show that he really really loves Max and he felt that to love someone you have to set them free was the best way he prevent from losing her.

If the ending wasn't what you wanted I hope you still enjoyed the ride. Thanks for being with me and I'd still love to hear from you. Please please please review.

But if you didn't like it – maybe you'll get want you want in the sequel so go check it out, but be warned it too is dragged out for about 9 chapters.