Chapter 6: Terrible Truths
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I woke up in the closet the next morning with Ethan leaning over me.
"What?" I asked half-asleep but still conscious to be angry at him. He bit his bottom lip.
"I wanted to talk to you," He muttered. I sat up.
"Ok," I said he sighed.
"I'm sorry about the other night. But Lila just doesn't understand like I do. I didn't even know she was still going to play that song after I told her it was yours," His voice was soft the way a big brother's should be, but I was still angry at him.
"Why did you tell her? Why didn't you just say you didn't like the song or something?" I asked. He sighed biting his lip again.
"I did tell her that at first, but she kept saying it was one of her favorites and all, and I thought she'd understand,"
"She obviously didn't," I muttered harshly. Ethan shifted his weight uneasily.
"You have to look at it from her point of view. I mean first you yelling at me about dancing with Lana, and then running out of the reception hall because of the song, she sort of thought you were mad I was getting married and looking for attention," He explained. I glared at him.
"Why should I care that you got married? You've already done it three times, don't you think she'd know I was used to it by now?" I asked flatly.
"Hermione, come on, don't be like this," He said as I turned my back on him.
"Is all this why you're in the closet?" He asked.
"Sort of," I murmured.
"Sort of? Did something else happen?" He asked concerned. He reminded me of Harry in a way, when he got brotherly like this, why couldn't Ron be brotherly?
"The band, I know them," I said slowly.
"Did you meet them at the under club?" He asked I turned and looked at him.
"Don't you remember them? The lead singer at least? He came to pick me up every summer since I was like thirteen," it came out a bit harsher then I had wanted it to.
"You mean he went to Hogwarts?" Ethan asked surprised.
"They all did!" I yelled tears stinging the back of my eyes.
"But the lead singer, he's from Texas," Ethan said slowly. I rolled my eyes.
"He's Ron Weasley," I hissed as if Ethan were dense or something. "Harry Potter was at the drums, and the other two were also guys I know from Hogwarts."
"The Harry Potter and Ron Wealsey that you ra-"
"I didn't run away from them, I ran away from their life," I broke in before he could say it. "And they came to find me,"
"You don't have to be friends with them, things change Hermione. Just tell them to lea-"
"Ethan, I can't do that," I interrupted in a shuddery voice. He looked at me in that sympathetic big-brother way Harry always did when I was in the middle of a fight with Ron.
"If you want to, I can talk to them," He offered. I shook my head slowly.
"It's ok, I'm going to the university in a few months anyways. I'll figure this out," I mumbled standing up and running a hand through my tangles of curls. He nodded kissing me on the top of the head before backing out of my room.
I leaned back on my bed sitting against my pillow and laying my head against the wall. I could just picture him standing up on my bed, leaning towards the window, and then... I had grabbed him.
What had made me do it?
The question just wouldn't leave me alone. A nagging question always at the back of my mind. I tried contenting myself with the fact that I had a whirling headache, but even though it was a good excuse on the surface deep-down...
"Hermione!" My mother's voice yanked me out of thought. "Someone's at the door!" I shuddered nervously getting this bad feeling that the someone at the door was tall with red hair. I pulled a bathrobe around me and slowly descended down the steps in nervous anticipation.
"Hermione?" It was Harry's voice coming from the door. I suddenly realized that I wasn't breathing, and let out a long sigh of relief.
"Hi Harry," I said walking past my smiling mother to hug him.
"Hi, um, I just wanted to come over, you know, to say hi, and maybe talk," He said nervously eyeing someone behind me. I glanced over my shoulder at a murderous looking Ethan. I rolled my eyes at him and he shrugged.
"Yeah, come on up to my room," I said waving him after me, as my mother tittered around making concerned noises. As if something like THAT would ever go on with Harry and I, REALLY!
"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked once we were safely inside my bedroom.
"I suppose about, you know, about everything...why you left," He muttered looking uncomfortable. I got that nasty guilt in the pit of my stomach.
"Well, that was, uh, direct," I stuttered in a choked voice that was attempting to be light.
"Sorry,"
"No, it's ok... I suppose I owe it to you," I looked up out my window; the one Ron had flown through only twenty four hours ago. "I didn't mean for it to be personal Harry, It just, I suppose it just got to be too hard." I looked up at him to see how he was taking this.
"Right, too much," He mumbled and he looked slightly angry. I swallowed hard. How could I say that it was too much for me? This was Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The Man Who Conquered. If it was too hard for anyone, it was too hard for him. And he took it; he took it because that was his life.
"I'm sorry, I mean, I know for you it was worse..." I was stuttering.
"I've been wanting to ask you since you left, I suppose it's not a very, erm, proper question," Harry explained apologetically. I bit my lip trying to think of something to say, something to redeem myself. "It's just...Ron and I, we figured... well, we thought it may have been... well... our fault..." His voice was getting quieter and quieter as Harry's often did when he got put-out.
"Harry, it wasn't-" I said. But that's the thing, in a way; it sort of was there fault. Which, really, is awful because they never meant for it to be that way, and I feel like such a bad person blaming them, but... Sometimes, you just had to wonder, if I hadn't been the girl to run into that bathroom back in my first year, if I hadn't been friends with Harry... Well, it's awful to say, but all of that horrible stuff, wouldn't have happened to me. But sometimes I think I could even handle all of that, if that had been it, if it had just been the Boy Who Lived verses You-know-who stuff, then I might have stayed, I might have been ok, but HE had to be there too.
Ron did. He had to tell me right after I realized that love was nothing but pain and hurt, that he thought we should get married. Just like that. No big deal. 'Hermione I think we should get married.' And when I told him no, he got angry at me! Told me that I owed it to HIM to marry him!
"It was hard for us, one day we're all sitting together, and the next morning you're gone, no note or anything..." I was starting to feel incredibly childish. I had left because it was too hard, and in the process made it harder for Harry who already had it the worst of us all. I really wanted to make it up to him, but I was still afraid, afraid to be trapped in again.
"I'm sorry." I said looking up at him.
"I am too. I guess Ron and I were kind of hard on you, and now... I'm not making it any better," He said in a lighter voice. "Just..." He trailed off biting his bottom lip. "Could you, just... Try and maybe talk it out with Ron... He covers it up pretty well but ever since you left... Well, he's just had some problems." I stared at Harry concernedly.
Problems?
"Yeah, ok, I'll talk to him," I promised. Harry nodded and then grinned.
"Want to go out for lunch?" He asked.
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We went to a little restaurant that mostly sold sandwiches. And it was nice. After our awkward conversation back in my bedroom, everything seemed lighter, more like it was back at Hogwarts, before things got really bad.
"So tell me, what girl is fawning over you lately?" I asked after we had a heated discussion about whether turkey or ham was better on sandwiches. A slight tinge of pink went into his cheeks.
"Well, no one really, I mean no one in the muggle world even knows who I am, I get fan mail sometimes, but mostly all that gets sent to my house with Sirius," He said taking a large gulp of coke.
"So you and Ginny..." I trailed off pointedly. He sighed.
"Uh, well, I want to, you know, get back together with her, but... Well, I made some pretty big mistakes with her-"
"Harry, I'm sure if you just explain that you only broke it off with her because you were afraid for her safety..." I trailed off at Harry's shaking head.
"It's not all that either," He said taking a long breath, as if bracing himself, "She's got a boyfriend."
And that's when I knew how to make it up to Harry.
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We were just leaving the restaurant when the song came on. First the three guitar cords and then a long drawn out:
'This Lullaby..." I breathed in shakily and let out a long breath.
"You ok Hermione?" Harry asked eyeing me strangely. I nodded. But deep down I realized that now there was no way out. As that lullaby plays on I get more and more trapped into my old life....
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That was a bit of a short chapter, and Ron didn't make any appearances, sorry. But I hope you guys like it anyways!
Sorry this took so long for me to add.
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I woke up in the closet the next morning with Ethan leaning over me.
"What?" I asked half-asleep but still conscious to be angry at him. He bit his bottom lip.
"I wanted to talk to you," He muttered. I sat up.
"Ok," I said he sighed.
"I'm sorry about the other night. But Lila just doesn't understand like I do. I didn't even know she was still going to play that song after I told her it was yours," His voice was soft the way a big brother's should be, but I was still angry at him.
"Why did you tell her? Why didn't you just say you didn't like the song or something?" I asked. He sighed biting his lip again.
"I did tell her that at first, but she kept saying it was one of her favorites and all, and I thought she'd understand,"
"She obviously didn't," I muttered harshly. Ethan shifted his weight uneasily.
"You have to look at it from her point of view. I mean first you yelling at me about dancing with Lana, and then running out of the reception hall because of the song, she sort of thought you were mad I was getting married and looking for attention," He explained. I glared at him.
"Why should I care that you got married? You've already done it three times, don't you think she'd know I was used to it by now?" I asked flatly.
"Hermione, come on, don't be like this," He said as I turned my back on him.
"Is all this why you're in the closet?" He asked.
"Sort of," I murmured.
"Sort of? Did something else happen?" He asked concerned. He reminded me of Harry in a way, when he got brotherly like this, why couldn't Ron be brotherly?
"The band, I know them," I said slowly.
"Did you meet them at the under club?" He asked I turned and looked at him.
"Don't you remember them? The lead singer at least? He came to pick me up every summer since I was like thirteen," it came out a bit harsher then I had wanted it to.
"You mean he went to Hogwarts?" Ethan asked surprised.
"They all did!" I yelled tears stinging the back of my eyes.
"But the lead singer, he's from Texas," Ethan said slowly. I rolled my eyes.
"He's Ron Weasley," I hissed as if Ethan were dense or something. "Harry Potter was at the drums, and the other two were also guys I know from Hogwarts."
"The Harry Potter and Ron Wealsey that you ra-"
"I didn't run away from them, I ran away from their life," I broke in before he could say it. "And they came to find me,"
"You don't have to be friends with them, things change Hermione. Just tell them to lea-"
"Ethan, I can't do that," I interrupted in a shuddery voice. He looked at me in that sympathetic big-brother way Harry always did when I was in the middle of a fight with Ron.
"If you want to, I can talk to them," He offered. I shook my head slowly.
"It's ok, I'm going to the university in a few months anyways. I'll figure this out," I mumbled standing up and running a hand through my tangles of curls. He nodded kissing me on the top of the head before backing out of my room.
I leaned back on my bed sitting against my pillow and laying my head against the wall. I could just picture him standing up on my bed, leaning towards the window, and then... I had grabbed him.
What had made me do it?
The question just wouldn't leave me alone. A nagging question always at the back of my mind. I tried contenting myself with the fact that I had a whirling headache, but even though it was a good excuse on the surface deep-down...
"Hermione!" My mother's voice yanked me out of thought. "Someone's at the door!" I shuddered nervously getting this bad feeling that the someone at the door was tall with red hair. I pulled a bathrobe around me and slowly descended down the steps in nervous anticipation.
"Hermione?" It was Harry's voice coming from the door. I suddenly realized that I wasn't breathing, and let out a long sigh of relief.
"Hi Harry," I said walking past my smiling mother to hug him.
"Hi, um, I just wanted to come over, you know, to say hi, and maybe talk," He said nervously eyeing someone behind me. I glanced over my shoulder at a murderous looking Ethan. I rolled my eyes at him and he shrugged.
"Yeah, come on up to my room," I said waving him after me, as my mother tittered around making concerned noises. As if something like THAT would ever go on with Harry and I, REALLY!
"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked once we were safely inside my bedroom.
"I suppose about, you know, about everything...why you left," He muttered looking uncomfortable. I got that nasty guilt in the pit of my stomach.
"Well, that was, uh, direct," I stuttered in a choked voice that was attempting to be light.
"Sorry,"
"No, it's ok... I suppose I owe it to you," I looked up out my window; the one Ron had flown through only twenty four hours ago. "I didn't mean for it to be personal Harry, It just, I suppose it just got to be too hard." I looked up at him to see how he was taking this.
"Right, too much," He mumbled and he looked slightly angry. I swallowed hard. How could I say that it was too much for me? This was Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The Man Who Conquered. If it was too hard for anyone, it was too hard for him. And he took it; he took it because that was his life.
"I'm sorry, I mean, I know for you it was worse..." I was stuttering.
"I've been wanting to ask you since you left, I suppose it's not a very, erm, proper question," Harry explained apologetically. I bit my lip trying to think of something to say, something to redeem myself. "It's just...Ron and I, we figured... well, we thought it may have been... well... our fault..." His voice was getting quieter and quieter as Harry's often did when he got put-out.
"Harry, it wasn't-" I said. But that's the thing, in a way; it sort of was there fault. Which, really, is awful because they never meant for it to be that way, and I feel like such a bad person blaming them, but... Sometimes, you just had to wonder, if I hadn't been the girl to run into that bathroom back in my first year, if I hadn't been friends with Harry... Well, it's awful to say, but all of that horrible stuff, wouldn't have happened to me. But sometimes I think I could even handle all of that, if that had been it, if it had just been the Boy Who Lived verses You-know-who stuff, then I might have stayed, I might have been ok, but HE had to be there too.
Ron did. He had to tell me right after I realized that love was nothing but pain and hurt, that he thought we should get married. Just like that. No big deal. 'Hermione I think we should get married.' And when I told him no, he got angry at me! Told me that I owed it to HIM to marry him!
"It was hard for us, one day we're all sitting together, and the next morning you're gone, no note or anything..." I was starting to feel incredibly childish. I had left because it was too hard, and in the process made it harder for Harry who already had it the worst of us all. I really wanted to make it up to him, but I was still afraid, afraid to be trapped in again.
"I'm sorry." I said looking up at him.
"I am too. I guess Ron and I were kind of hard on you, and now... I'm not making it any better," He said in a lighter voice. "Just..." He trailed off biting his bottom lip. "Could you, just... Try and maybe talk it out with Ron... He covers it up pretty well but ever since you left... Well, he's just had some problems." I stared at Harry concernedly.
Problems?
"Yeah, ok, I'll talk to him," I promised. Harry nodded and then grinned.
"Want to go out for lunch?" He asked.
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We went to a little restaurant that mostly sold sandwiches. And it was nice. After our awkward conversation back in my bedroom, everything seemed lighter, more like it was back at Hogwarts, before things got really bad.
"So tell me, what girl is fawning over you lately?" I asked after we had a heated discussion about whether turkey or ham was better on sandwiches. A slight tinge of pink went into his cheeks.
"Well, no one really, I mean no one in the muggle world even knows who I am, I get fan mail sometimes, but mostly all that gets sent to my house with Sirius," He said taking a large gulp of coke.
"So you and Ginny..." I trailed off pointedly. He sighed.
"Uh, well, I want to, you know, get back together with her, but... Well, I made some pretty big mistakes with her-"
"Harry, I'm sure if you just explain that you only broke it off with her because you were afraid for her safety..." I trailed off at Harry's shaking head.
"It's not all that either," He said taking a long breath, as if bracing himself, "She's got a boyfriend."
And that's when I knew how to make it up to Harry.
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We were just leaving the restaurant when the song came on. First the three guitar cords and then a long drawn out:
'This Lullaby..." I breathed in shakily and let out a long breath.
"You ok Hermione?" Harry asked eyeing me strangely. I nodded. But deep down I realized that now there was no way out. As that lullaby plays on I get more and more trapped into my old life....
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That was a bit of a short chapter, and Ron didn't make any appearances, sorry. But I hope you guys like it anyways!
Sorry this took so long for me to add.