It shocked me, it as in running into Rinoa on a lonely street, when I was least expecting it. Maybe it was my thinking about her. Hyne knows I had done enough of it. Maybe all that thinking brought this surprise on. Hell, I didn't know. But I was glad when I saw her.

I helped her to her feet and examined her for a second, making sure she wasn't hurt.

She brushed away a few strands of hair from her face and looked at me. "Funny meeting you here," she said quietly.

I nodded. "It is pretty funny, isn't it?"

Rinoa shrugged, "So what are you doing here…?" I could tell she wanted to get straight to the subject, trying to intend no harm to my feelings. Not that I had any…

"I'm lost," I watched her as she patted away the dust on her jacket. She looked up and laughed a little.

"You're lost? Great situation to be in dumb-ass!" she exclaimed sarcastically.

I clenched my jaw. "It is," I hesitated and seeing the uncomfortable fixture on her face, I added, "What're you doing here?"

Rinoa stayed silent. "I-I'm lost…"

I smiled, "Whose the dumb-ass now?"

"So, should we be lost together then?" she hurriedly asked. "I really don't feel like being alone on a deserted street like this…"

I shoved my hands into my pockets and started walking. "Yep." I heard her footsteps patting along the sidewalk behind me in a fit of keeping up.

Five minutes of the walk was in complete silence, neither one of us wanting to wreck the peacefulness of the falling snow. Although I was freezing my ass off, that's pretty safe to say. I spotted a small diner across the street and pointed it out to her. She responded with a smile and I figured it meant we could go in and sit our little tin cans down and have a nice cup of java.

We took a seat near the back of the diner, not wanting to be close to a window because we had already seen too much of the outside that it could last you a month. I unzipped my coat and she did the same with hers. She let it slide off her shoulders and into the booth.

I waited until the waitress came before a word even left my mouth, "I'll take a coffee."

The waitress named Betty took out a writing pad from her apron and a pen. "Regular or black?" she asked annoyed.

I glanced down at the torn up table. Man… I could tell she didn't have a good night. "Black, ma'am," I said cheerfully. Hoping to bring her spirits up. She smiled slightly but quickly wiped it off her face as she turned to Rinoa.

"And for you?"

Rinoa played with her hands, "Um… I think I'll just have hot chocolate."

I looked at her strangely; she always had coffee, even when we were together. No sugar and a little cream. Something changed…

Betty had left and I decided ask Rinoa what was wrong. "You didn't get coffee."

"I know," she said smiling.

I raised my eyebrows and let out a small whistle. "You've gone crazy, haven't you? I thought I seen you in Esthar's Most Wanted…"

She shook her head, "Nope. I think you've gone crazy."

"Why do you say that?"

She tilted her head towards the kitchen. "Cause I seen the coffee."

I looked towards where she directed and saw a waiter pouring a chunk of what looked like mud into a man's cup.

"Icky…" I said weakly. "That's the coffee?!"

Rinoa put her fingers up to her lips to tell me to quiet down. "You deserve it."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Why?" I asked.

She wrinkled her nose, "Oh, I don't know… Maybe because you had fun urinating in my boyfriend's lemonade."

I put my hands up in defense, "Hey, there was no lemonade at all! It was all piss, you should at least give me credit for having a full bladder."

She sighed, "Men…"

"Speaking of boyfriends… Where's yours?"

Rinoa watched as our waitress returned with our drinks. I stared into the black abyss that contaminated my coffee. I stuck out my tongue.

She took a sip of her cocoa and set her cup down on the table. "He's out…"

"He left you alone?" I stirred my chunky chunks and set down my spoon, disgusted.

"No, not entirely…" she whispered.

I glanced at my silver spoon, well once silver, now a brownish black. I looked at the funky shapes the mudslide was making onto my silver wear. "Then what?" I asked after fascination with my spoon and the weird ass coffee. Looked like someone's shit.

"Tye didn't really want to go sight seeing with me. I wanted to see Esthar on foot and he wasn't up for all the walking. Said he would stay in bed all day and still be there when I returned."

"And?" I rested my elbows on the table.

My ex-girlfriend cocked her head. "And before I ate lunch, I decided I would go back and invite him to join me. But he was gone…"

"Any note?"

She shook her head violently.

I swallowed down my harsh words, "Oh…"

We had finally found our way to a familiar street with live people actually walking around. However, neither of us wanted to part ways.

I kept thinking about Tye, and not in that way, but there was something about him that I didn't trust. Sure, he seemed like a great guy, probably a hit with all the girls too. There was something I couldn't quite put my finger on, something that I was missing. But what was it? I pondered over these thoughts until Rinoa nudged me in the side.

"Hmm?" I glanced at her.

As if reading my mind she spoke, "Tye really is a great guy, you know."

I nodded my head shortly, not wanting to say anything mean. "Yeah, he probably is." I left it at that. No conversation took place for a while.

When we arrived back at the Presidential Palace, I invited her inside. She accepted and those were the only words spoken between us until we arrived up in my room.

Rinoa sat down on the bed and I took a seat at my desk. "What time is it?" she asked.

I looked at my small alarm clock. "8:35."

"Okay."

"Rinoa… How did you meet Tye?" I was hoping I didn't sound too interested.

She relaxed herself on the bed and looked at me. "It's pretty strange."

I tensed, wanting to know more. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. We met back September. There was this festival going on in Deling City and I figured I might as well go check it out and see my father all in the same day," she stopped, expecting me to ask her to go on, but when I didn't, she continued. "Well, as I was wandering around the festival and looking at the different shops, I got hungry."

I smiled. She noticed this and smiled herself, "Tye was a food vender. I met him that way. Once he saw me he said his breath caught and that he wanted to give me free food," she laughed. "So he gave me a free cheeseburger and invited me to eat with him around the back. How could I not accept? The guy was already nice enough to give me free things."

I kept a smile on my lips and urged her to continue. "We ate, and not in silence. I could hardly get him to shut up!" she grinned. "He talks a lot more than Selphie and Zell does combined. But, after we had eaten he asked for my phone number. I was a little leery at first about giving this food vender my name and number, but I couldn't resist. I scribbled it down and two days later he called. And that's that," she stated promptly.

"Interesting."

She laughed quietly and stood up, I kept my eyes on her. She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me, enveloping me in a hug. "Thanks for listening…"

I returned the hug and smiled slightly, "I was the one that asked."

My phone rang and I slowly tore my eyes away from the girl that stood before me. I picked up the annoying device, "Hello?" I pursed my lips, "Um, yeah, hold on."

I handed Rinoa the phone, "It's for you."

She looked at me and nodded, taking the phone. "Uh, hello?" she said nervously. "Oh, Tye! Where were you? Me? I'm at the Presidential Palace…"

She handed me back the phone and rubbed her arms. "He hung up."

I set the phone down on the hook. "Sorry…"

20 minutes of non-stop talking and laughter made me wonder why I ever broke up with this angel in the first place. I listened to every word she spoke, waited for her to reply to my questions. It was only a small sum of heaven. My senses were filled with extreme happiness and excitement as I talked to the girl in front of me. I never realized until now how much of an effect she had on me.

It was now 9:00 pm and the doorbell rang. I told Rinoa to wait in my room while I went to see who it was, but she insisted on coming with me.

I pulled open the door and Tye was standing outside, his teeth chattering. Rinoa grabbed him by his coat and tugged him inside. She looked at him, "What are you doing here?" she demanded for an answer.

Tye finished shivering, "I-I ca-came to see you…" he said breathlessly.

Rinoa's eyes shimmered. "You did?" she asked, almost dreamily. I crossed my arms and sat down on the grand staircase. Watching those two made me so jealous that I was about to scream out, 'He's not right for you, Rinoa! Take me!!' However like the coward I am, I couldn't do it.

Rinoa's boyfriend pulled out a dozen red roses and handed them to her, making sure she didn't touch the thorns. She kissed the man gently on the cheek and smelled her flowers. I sighed, not loud enough to hear. Maybe he was right for her. I never bought her flowers. I never bought her anything. I wasn't good enough…

We had said our good-bye's and she promised to call me this time. She left with Tye and strictly reminded him to take a taxi next time since the hotel was only a few blocks off. I remembered her looking into my eyes and leaning in, almost as if wanting a kiss. No, I was getting my hopes up. It was only a hug she yearned for.

I laid on my bed that night, completely awake, focusing all my thoughts on her. I shook my head as I recalled Tye's 'sweetness'. If Tye were right for her, neither of them would ever know it. Because I would ruin everything that guy did in an attempt to get Rinoa back. I know it's sad to have to convert to extremes, but if it would get the only girl I've ever loved back, it'd be worth it. Tye would find someone else probably in a day. So it wouldn't really matter to him.

I just have to embarrass the hell out of the guy.

Tuesday, December 22nd.

I left the house at 7:45 am so I could arrive at Rinoa's hotel early before they awoke. I entered through the large, gated doors and tapped my fingers on the reception desk. I called the woman's attention and she nodded at me. "How may I help you, sir?"

I cleared my throat, "Yes, I had an appointment with Rinoa Heartilly and I was just wondering if I could possibly get her room number?"

The receptionist typed in some things on her computer. "Room 278."

I smiled, "Thanks."

I walked down one hall of rooms and found that it was only in the 50's. I found an elevator and went up to the 2nd floor. Bingo, the 200's.

I glanced at every door, checking the numbers until I discovered which one I was looking for. Here we go, room 278…

I tapped quietly on the door and ran off down the hall. I hid around a corner and waited for an answer. The door opened and Rinoa peeked her head out, drowsiness showing in her face. I smiled as I watched her. I stuck my thumb out so she could see and jerked it toward my direction. Hopefully she would come, curious.

She did, she started walking at a slow pace, and not sure of what was beckoning her. I took off running down the corner and around another corner until I reached her room again. I prayed that I had enough time.

I pushed open her room door and walked quietly inside. Tye was still asleep, lying peacefully on the bed with the covers bundled onto the floor.

I grabbed a hold of the corner of the bed and easily pulled it off the box springs. I opened the balcony doors and slid the mattress outside, with him on it. It was a 2nd floor balcony, so all the cars on the nearby freeway could see everything that was going on up here. I stripped off his shirt and left his whitey tighteys on, I hurriedly tied the shirt around the banister to hold attention.

The poor guy would be left outside in the freezing cold in dirty, stained underwear. I laughed to myself as I locked the balcony door from the inside. I rushed out of the room and shut the door so Rinoa would have to go to the front desk to get her door unlocked. That way Tye would have more time to show off his pretty panties. I snickered as I left the hotel.

Wednesday, December 23

Christmas was drawing close and my dad's hopes were getting too happy for me to handle. He still believed there was a Santa Claus. See what I have to put up with?

I watched my father dance around the room, clicking his heels as he hung up ornaments on the Christmas tree. His eyes had a certain twinkle in them that disturbed me. I folded my hands over my stomach and closed my eyes.

"Tye's still going strong," I said, half asleep. I opened my eyes to look at my father; he was prancing about the room until he settled himself on the couch. My dad had known what I had been planning and he wasn't too fond of it, but he didn't go against it.

"Oh, I see."

I licked my lips to wet their dryness. "What do you think I should do next? I mean all that happened yesterday was that it made the front-page news as 'Man that skinny dipped in winter.' I need something better," I said tiredly.

Laguna stared at me for a moment, "I thought Tye was hot!"

I looked at him in a way that even scared myself. My spine crawled with possible thoughts about what my father just said. I finally had the courage to speak up. "Are you gay?!!!" I screeched.

He nodded his head slowly and smiled. I sat appalled.

"Yes, I am gay," he added. "I'm happy."

I blinked, not sure what to make of it. Wait… He's gay and he's happy…? He must be thinking of the other definition of gay… "Dad what I mean is, do you love men?"

My dad sat up quickly with a look of gagging on his face. "Hell no! Have you gone mad you little homo bastard?!!"

I sunk down like a timid bird. I rose from my chair and slowly walked to my room ashamed.

I don't know how many times I replayed the evening news with Tye's whitey tightey ass showing. You see I recorded it because I didn't get enough satisfaction from the first viewing. I sighed and shut off the VCR, thoroughly pissed that I still hadn't the least bit of humor in me from the small dilemma. Rinoa had called me later on and asked if I saw the news. Well of course I saw it, I recorded the damn thing!

I sat down at my desk and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil. I jotted down a few things, mainly 'evil' things that I could do to Tye. Since the last prank wasn't that great. The guy wasn't even embarrassed. When the news showed Tye's face, he was laughing and smiling and kept repeating, 'Oh golly gee, I slept in my undies you see!' He didn't even care that there was this huge brown stain on the back of his 'undies'. Wonder where he acquired that…?

I shook my head in disgust. I scribbled on my paper after I couldn't think of any more evil mishaps. Well, since tomorrow is Christmas Eve, Rinoa will probably want to go view the Christmas lights around the main part of Esthar. I'd call her and find out, just in case.

The phone rang for at least 4 times before someone answered, to my disappointment, it was Tye.

"Hey Tye. Is Rinoa there?" I asked as nicely as I could.

"Erm, nope don't think so! Did you need something?" he said calmly.

"Well I was wondering, what are you doing today and tomorrow?"

His silence was annoying. Finally he spoke up, "Well tonight I think we're gonna go to dinner, would you like to come?"

"Uh, no. And where would you be going to dinner at, just in case I might join you…?"

"Paul's Café! Heard they got great food there, eh?"

I wrote down the name, "Yeah sure. So what about tomorrow, what are you doing then?"

"Rinoa wanted to go see the pretty lights, I adore those… But yeah, then I think we're gonna go Christmassy shopping!!"

I couldn't stand it anymore; I was about to cry on the phone. The guy was so stupid it even hurt me! "Thanks Tye. Don't tell Rinoa I called."

"Rodger and howdy! Greetings my fellow officer!! Hola amigo!" 

I slammed the phone down on the receiver before he could shout out any more lousy greetings. "Fucking retard… I should admit the guy to a mental asylum."

Around 5:00 pm I decided to head on over to Rinoa's hotel just to check in. I was hoping that they hadn't left yet, but if they did I knew exactly where to go.

I walked merrily up to the reception desk, this time it was a different receptionist. I rang the bell to achieve some service. The man spun around in his chair and winked at me. "What can I get for ya, handsome?" he asked. I scooted back a few steps.

"I um, wanted to know if Rinoa Heartilly has left the hotel yet." What is it with gay people and I today?!

He looked over some files and clicked his tongue. "How are you related to the guest?"

"I- I'm not," I suddenly felt very uncomfortable when the man's eyes shifted down my body.

"Mmhmm… I see… I'm afraid I can't give that information unless you have an important reason or you're related to the guest."

I swung my hand out in the air, "But the other receptionist gave me her room number!"

He shrugged, "We're allowed to do that. Just not hand out personal information, my fine sir." I leaned my weight on my left foot.

"If you really must know, I'm her attorney." I tried to look professional, "I'm checking out Miss Heartilly's case very carefully. She wanted me to accompany her to the restaurant while she interrogated her boyfriend."

The gay receptionist licked his lips. "The boyfriend who was dancing out about on the balcony? The one that was on the news?!"

I nodded.

"Oh my god, he's sooooo fine! Except for the brown stain on his panties," he chimed, lifting a finger in the air.

"Um yeah, whatever. So can you please tell me if Miss Heartilly has left her room yet?"

I could tell he was thinking. He let out a breath of air. "Well okay, but don't tell this to anyone! I'll get my sweet ass fired…" it took him a few moments to remember if she had passed.

"Well…?" I demanded.

"I believe she did leave already, yes. Now then, how about you and me hook up sometime, handsome? You sexy, sexy man!" he said with the added extra of rolling his tongue.

I coughed and walked out of the all-natural hotel.

It took me a few minutes to get to Paul's Café, I was hoping they kept their decision and were still there. I slowly pushed the doors open and walked in calmly. I observed the people sitting at the quaint tables until my eyes locked on a couple in particular. There we are… Nice seeing you again, Tye… I made a mental note to give an evil laugh later.

I rushed right past them, thanking hyne that they didn't notice me. I glided through the employee doors and grabbed a nearby waiter. "I'm Squall Leonhart, the President's son and I need to borrow your uniform."

He looked over my face, checking my identity. "Whatever you say, sir." He stripped down to his boxers and tank top and handed me his suit.

"Thanks," I quickly put it on. I looked up at his head, "Give me your hat." The poor kid pouted but reluctantly handed me his hat. "Thanks, I owe you. If you come by the Presidential Palace anytime after Christmas, I'll give you a special tour."

He grinned and headed into the changing rooms. I followed him and looked around for some kind of disguise. I found a moose head hanging over one of the stalls and stood up on the bench to reach it. I took out my pocketknife and gingerly cut off some of the fur.

I searched through some drawers and grabbed the duct tape, I swirled it around in a circle and stuck it on my upper lip. I pushed the moose fur onto the tape and glanced in the mirror.

"Hmm… Not bad. Now to get down to business."

I walked out into the main lobby, making sure to keep a skip to my step to disguise my normal walk. I stopped in front of Rinoa's table and smiled at them. "Have you two decided what you would like to order?" I tried to make my voice sound crackly and rough. However, it came out more of a squeak. So I figured might as well keep my valued squeak.

Rinoa looked over her menu while Tye was playing with one of the straw wrappers. "Um, I think I need a little more time." Rinoa said, tapping her menu.

I nodded weirdly and noticed Tye's glass. "Would you like a refill on your drink?"

"Yeah!" he handed me his cup. I took it and stomped back into the kitchen.

I didn't know what the hell he was drinking but I didn't really care. I set the glass down on the counter and pulled a small plastic baggy with a white powdery substance out of my pocket. And no it wasn't drugs. It was a laxative.

I poured all of the bags contents into the almost empty drink and quickly splashed some Pepsi into the glass. I laughed quietly to myself, almost in a growl and went back out to hand Tye his glass. I was glad no one was questioning about my working here.

I set the glass down on the table and gave a fake smile to him. "Have you decided yet?"

"Yeah, I think I'll have the chicken please." Rinoa said, smiling at me. I pulled out the pad that was in my back pocket.

"Very well." I turned to Tye, "And for you sir?"

"I'll take a cheeseburger."

I headed back into the kitchen and placed the order on the counter. I was actually very surprised that Rinoa never even recognized me. I figured she might have thought that I looked the slightest bit familiar. I waited for about 20 minutes before the orders came out. I lifted up Tye's cheeseburger and poured hot sauce all over the bun. I crossed my arms and waited a few more minutes for it to soak in. I looked at my watch. Tye should be experiencing that laxative soon… Better follow up with plan B.

I went back into the changing rooms and found the employee I bargained with. I asked him for the keys to the men's restroom. He handed them to me gratefully, and went back to reading a magazine.

I looked around at all the people, watching each face so they wouldn't notice me. I opened the bathroom door a little and made sure no one was in the men's room. I urged the key into the lock and twisted it until I heard a click. There, now… Tye won't be able to get into the men's restroom… The only other option he has is the women's… I smirked and took a peek at the sign on the women's door. Poor guy. Oh well!

I had successfully delivered the orders and sat at a corner table. I watched the couple and lost my patience as Tye devoured the spicy hot cheeseburger. Stupid fag, probably so dumb he doesn't even realize the spiciness. Most people would call the fire station so they could come and have their mouths put out.

I kept peeking a glance at the clock, wondering when the laxative was going to take affect. Well, as soon as I thought that, Tye was standing up. I hurriedly turned my head to watch him, so were other people.

He kept grabbing his stomach and moaning in pain. I laughed into my furry moose mustache. Tye dashed towards the men's restroom and tried to bust through the door, but all he found was hard wood. He ran face first into the door, and fell flat back on his ass. He rolled around for a while, unsure of where the pain was coming from.

Rinoa rushed over to him, "Tye are you okay?! Do you need any help!?"

Tye shook his head and made useless tries at scratching the door open with his hands. He finally gave up and a loud blast sounded from his trousers. That's right, folks. He blew one. I burst out laughing and so did the rest of the restaurant, all the people there were red in the face from burning up in hysterics. Tye crawled himself quickly into the women's restroom, where he achieved even more laughter and a red faced Rinoa. And no, her face wasn't red because she was in humor, her face was red because the dumb-ass boyfriend of hers had forsaken the whole restaurant and embarrassed himself even more by flying into the girls bathroom.

All thanks to me of course.

And there it is! The next chapter! I figured out these pranks, well because I am a prankster. I pull so many pranks my mom threatens to throw me out of the house and make me live in a garbage can. But, ah well, she never means it… I think… Please review! I could use a lot of encouragement, don't worry; there'll be more Squinoa in the next chapter, plenty of it. Squall is being a jerk at this moment, as someone commented, not to worry though, he straightens himself out later… after a few more crazy mishaps, of course. Chow my fellow friends and please drop a review!