Author's Note: A brief Jack drabble, set after "Family" but referring to "Need". JD slash. We're quite aware that the plural of "sarcophagus" is "sarcophagi" but this is Jack's voice, and "sarcophaguses" just sounded more natural.
As usual, I don't own Stargate, Daniel Jackson, Jack O'Neill, or any of the rest of this. They're the property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and probably others, none of whom are me, more's the shame.Needful Things
I knew then that this was where I belonged, holding him. I had seen the pain in those wild blue eyes, the craving for something he knew he couldn't have and yet desperately needed. And I knew what he was going through . . . because I'd been there myself. Oh, nothing as insidious as a sarcophagus, but . . . I know withdrawal. It's a real bitch to lick an addiction, especially one like that. And it's damn near impossible to do it alone.
Not that Danny had to worry about that. I was with him every step of the way. I pretended that it wasn't anything I wouldn't do for any of my troops, but . . . it was a lie. It had to be the weakest lie I'd ever told in my entire life.
But it worked.
Oh, not on Teal'c, he's too smart for that. But it worked on everybody else. Maybe it's because they're all military, except for Danny. Maybe it's because everyone wanted it to work, even me. Don't ask, don't tell. Well, I sure wasn't going to tell and no one was going to ask. Not even Teal'c.
God bless him. I don't know how he knows half the stuff he does, but thank God for him. I didn't have to say a word and he knew. Kept everyone out for a good half hour so I could have time alone with our sleeping Daniel, even Doc Fraiser, even when she tried to threaten him with guards. Only she was bluffing. Only time I think she's ever done that. I don't expect it'll ever happen again.
Don't ask, don't tell.
But dammit, he's nearly died, hell, he has died too many times. He's been in one of those damned sarcophaguses too many damn times. And what if there isn't one around next time? God, I have to tell him. I can't . . . I can't let him die without ever knowing. . . .
And I can't tell him, either. I can't tell him how much I need him. So I'll just go on doing what I've been doing right along. Protecting him more than anybody else and writing it off as normal. And pray to God he never dies somewhere where we can't bring him back. Because as much as I need him . . . I need the Stargate, too. I need to find Skarra, I need to save him somehow. And Shau'ri.
She'll be the end of any hope, I don't doubt that, but . . . Daniel loves her. And I'm just enough of a masochistic bastard to want him to be happy, even if it isn't with me. Imagine that, the tough old colonel putting someone else's happiness first. But it's true. I want him to be happy. Even if it isn't with me. What else can I do?
As usual, I don't own Stargate, Daniel Jackson, Jack O'Neill, or any of the rest of this. They're the property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and probably others, none of whom are me, more's the shame.
I knew then that this was where I belonged, holding him. I had seen the pain in those wild blue eyes, the craving for something he knew he couldn't have and yet desperately needed. And I knew what he was going through . . . because I'd been there myself. Oh, nothing as insidious as a sarcophagus, but . . . I know withdrawal. It's a real bitch to lick an addiction, especially one like that. And it's damn near impossible to do it alone.
Not that Danny had to worry about that. I was with him every step of the way. I pretended that it wasn't anything I wouldn't do for any of my troops, but . . . it was a lie. It had to be the weakest lie I'd ever told in my entire life.
But it worked.
Oh, not on Teal'c, he's too smart for that. But it worked on everybody else. Maybe it's because they're all military, except for Danny. Maybe it's because everyone wanted it to work, even me. Don't ask, don't tell. Well, I sure wasn't going to tell and no one was going to ask. Not even Teal'c.
God bless him. I don't know how he knows half the stuff he does, but thank God for him. I didn't have to say a word and he knew. Kept everyone out for a good half hour so I could have time alone with our sleeping Daniel, even Doc Fraiser, even when she tried to threaten him with guards. Only she was bluffing. Only time I think she's ever done that. I don't expect it'll ever happen again.
Don't ask, don't tell.
But dammit, he's nearly died, hell, he has died too many times. He's been in one of those damned sarcophaguses too many damn times. And what if there isn't one around next time? God, I have to tell him. I can't . . . I can't let him die without ever knowing. . . .
And I can't tell him, either. I can't tell him how much I need him. So I'll just go on doing what I've been doing right along. Protecting him more than anybody else and writing it off as normal. And pray to God he never dies somewhere where we can't bring him back. Because as much as I need him . . . I need the Stargate, too. I need to find Skarra, I need to save him somehow. And Shau'ri.
She'll be the end of any hope, I don't doubt that, but . . . Daniel loves her. And I'm just enough of a masochistic bastard to want him to be happy, even if it isn't with me. Imagine that, the tough old colonel putting someone else's happiness first. But it's true. I want him to be happy. Even if it isn't with me. What else can I do?