~*~Afterthoughts of an Adventure~*~

~*~Kei and Tasuki~*~

Kei sat in the kitchen, watching her 5-year-old daughter Akane playing in the living room. She smiled as she watched Akane set up an entire city with her toys. Akane had her father's eyes and her mother's hair.

Kei closed her eyes. Her life was nothing like she ever imagined it could be.

One adventure changed my life…

My time in Konan changed me so much…

I came to Konan ready to die for them. I figured the easiest thing to do was just accept it and that would be it.

But he had to change everything…

Tasuki was the one. He changed everything. It was a rough start, but life is rough. You can't expect anything easy, especially love.

I thought he was a jerk when I met him, that he was just some bandit. But I was wrong. Little by little he pried his way into my heart and I fell for him.

When I started falling for him, I couldn't accept what I had for so many years anymore. I couldn't just leave them…

I realized how important I am to the people I love. I thought I was alone. I was never alone. I just felt like it.

Tasuki was the one who saved me from Nakago. I never could have survived on my own.

Coming back to the real world and seeing Tasuki was strange, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. It was in the real world that he told me he loved me, though we missed the chance many times before. It was here that he saved me from my life. I never could have told my mother the truth without him.

I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, keeping my feelings hidden from everyone. Even if I still wanted to live, I couldn't. My fate was to die for the people in the book. There was no way around it.

After I died, I thought it was over. I was dead that was it. I'd never see any of them again.

I remember the pained look in Tasuki's eyes. Just after we finally told each other about our feelings, I had to go. I never wanted to hurt him like that but I couldn't let him die either. Nuriko, Chichiri and Hotohori were just as hurt as the others. We'd all become friends and now I wasn't going to be there. I remember Taki's horrified scream. I crushed her when I did that. But I still had to. We were life long friends, but destiny is a hard thing to fight. I remember Lily not even looking at me. She must have felt like she was losing her family all over again. I remember seeing Jason cry. I couldn't believe he cried over me. It's not like we ever got along or anything. But I tend to underestimate people a lot. Jason's like my big brother now. He teases me a little, but nothing I can't take.

Coming back to life was a real trip. All I remember of being dead was walking for a long time. Then suddenly a voice and a bright light. Suddenly I was with him again. I don't even know how it happened, I was just there. I was never so happy to be alive. Suddenly, I had a life, a future, a reason to go on.

And I did go on. After coming back home, I wasn't sure I'd ever see him again so I forced myself into other things. I studied harder than ever, I proved to my teachers I wasn't lazy. I'd never done well in school, I hadn't seen a point.

It was two more years until I saw Tasuki again. For the two years without him, I was plagued by dreams…nightmares might be more accurate…of him. He'd be there and then he'd leave me again. I didn't even have to be asleep. Sometimes it would happen in the middle of the day. I'd hear a door open or I'd hear his voice. I'd go to find him and I'd see him. But he'd be gone before I could say word or touch him. My mind played with my heart during that time. When I cried in the night or in the day, Jason would, somehow, always wake up or be there and stay with me until I could sleep on my own.

Though now, I couldn't be happier. Tasuki and I have been married for 5 years now. Our daughter Akane is 4. All our friends are married and happy too. They have kids too. We tell them stories about Konan but I pray they'll never have to see it.

As good as it can be, it's quite possible you could be killed there. I've never told Akane about what I went though…the hell on Earth…and I probably never will. I don't want her to know. I may regret never telling her if she ever finds out but I'll deal with it then if it happens.

As dangerous as Konan is, I'll never regret going there. I went there to die but instead I found myself. I have my friends, my family and my life. That's what matters.

I was my fate to die for Konan, but no one said I couldn't come back…

"Mom? Mom?" Akane had moved from the living room to the kitchen and was now trying to get her mother's attention.

"Huh?" Kei's eyes snapped open. "I'm sorry, Akane. What is it?"

"It's 'kay, Mommy. You were thinkin' 'bout Daddy weren't ya?" Akane stood there with a big smile on her face.

"Yes…yes, I was. You caught me." Kei giggled and picked her daughter. "So, what do you want? Cookies?"

"Cookies!" Akane squealed with delight. "Yeah!"

Kei laughed even harder and got her daughter some cookies. "Here you go."

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Can we go to the park," She bit into the cookie. "When Daddy gets home?" Her words were garbled by the cookie.

"If he's not too tired, sure." Kei wiped some crumbs away from the girl's mouth. "Don't talk with your mouth full, honey."

She swallowed. "Sorry."

"It's alright. Everyone does it." Kei smiled as Akane sat at the table with her and ate.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tasuki ran his hands through his hair as he was stopped at another red light on his way home. The red lights drove him insane. He just wanted to go home.

As he grumbled to himself, his phone rang. The number on the display was his secretary at him office. He didn't feel like answering, so he picked up the phone and tossed it into the back seat. When the light went to green, the phone stopped ringing.

He smiled and started driving again. There were no more lights from here to his home. It wouldn't be much longer before he could see his wife and daughter.

One adventure changed my life…

As a seishi, I always knew I'd be involved in something at all times. If it wasn't a miko dropping in, it was other girls of legend. I just never thought I'd be falling for a girl who knew she'd be dying for us.

When I met Kei, I figured her for nothing more than another miko that I'd have to bring to the capital. I wasn't extremely familiar with the legend she fit with nor did I know she was a miko's granddaughter. 'Nothing more than' sounds like an odd thing to say, but in Konan, girls dropping in from other worlds aren't uncommon…

Wow, was I wrong…Kei wasn't a miko. She was a goddess, a goddess with an attitude. We really didn't get along at first either. I suppose my men made a less than great impression on her.

I started to like her more when I saw her attitude towards Taka. Okay, so I've never forgiven him for the little 'incident' in Kutou, whatever. She hated him, I like her. Another thing was that she could fight for herself, her and her friends. The only girls I'd ever seen from the miko's world were Miaka and Yui…now let's face it, they aren't the people you wanna send when making an impression. I was, to be honest, impressed with them. Girls I knew were either quiet and subservient or insane tomboys. These girls were tomboys but in a good way. They also knew when to be ladies.

I was confused about my feelings for Kei for a long time. It wasn't until Nakago stole her from me that I knew I couldn't live with out her. I'd wake up and knowing she wouldn't be there was the hardest thing I had done up to that point. Thoughts of getting her back and killing Nakago consumed me. I didn't want to think about what he put her through, I just wanted to see him dead and her to be safe.

I'll never understand how she survived everything she did. She is, by far, the strongest person I've ever met. She tells me I saved her from her life. I don't know if I really did. Maybe I did. She never would have told her mother about her stepfather if I hadn't indirectly made her by fighting with her stepfather. I may have gotten a little banged up in the fight, but it's nothing compared to her pain.

I didn't want to drag her home that night, so we stayed in a hotel. That was when I had to tell her. I'll never know why I thought she wouldn't feel the same. I guess I was just scared 'cause I was new at love. All I know now is we're happy together.

We almost weren't that lucky though. I had no idea of her fate, not until the day it was fulfilled. She died to save me. I can't even put into words how devastated I was. Then…seeing a goddess in the body of the woman I loved? I couldn't take it.

During the week she was gone I stayed away from everyone, no need to hang around with mourning couples, I wondered if I should follow her to the other side. Something kept me here though. Looking back, it may have been her. She may have been trying to keep me alive. In the end I stayed. I wouldn't make her death in vain.

I remember talking with the goddess. She wasn't the goddess Kei fought with in the Kutou gardens. This one was kind and sympathetic. She felt the loss of Kei as much as I did. I could tell she felt awful about Kei's inadvertent death because of her. I couldn't help but wonder if Kei's changing feelings about life changed her.

I didn't want her to leave when she had to, but we did have to separate. I remember her tear-streaked face as she walked through the portal back to her world. I honestly didn't think I'd see her again, but the funny thing about fate and destiny is that you never know what they'll throw at you.

I don't know how she did it, but Nozomi brought us to the other side one last time. I don't know how long it took because when I did see Kei she said it was 2 years since she'd seen me. I felt bad seeing how upset she was, but I haven't left her for anything since.

We're married now. We'll be together. Akane is a beautiful little girl and she'll grow up like she's supposed to. No more prophecies to worry about. No more book world. Akane won't know the terror of that world. Pain and joy come hand in hand in Konan, and the pain is most likely more than the joy.

I always knew my life would be different as a seishi, I just never thought I'd end up living in the miko's world with a girl of legends and have a family with her.

Tasuki finally got home a few minutes later. He got out of the car and went up the door. Before he even opened the door, she heard Akane squeal with delight.

"Daddy's home!" He smiled while he unlocked the door. Akane jumped into his arms. "Daddy!"

"Hi Akane-chan." He hugged her. "Were you good today?"

"Uh-huh!" She giggled. "So Daddy, are you tired?"

"A little. I had a long day." He put her down.

"How tired are you really?" She pulled him into the living room and made him sit on the couch. "Really tired? Really really tired? Not too tried?"

He looked at her questioningly. "Akane, where is this going?"

"Someone wants to go to the park." Kei leaned over the back of the couch and kissed Tasuki on the cheek. "Welcome home."

He kissed her back and looked at Akane. "The park? Didn't we just go yesterday?"

"Well, yeah…but…" She drew circles in the carpet with her foot. "They didn't have fireworks an' ice cream yesterday…"

"I told her if you were up for it, we could go." She looked at him with imploring eyes

Tasuki looked at both girls. He really couldn't say no. "Let me change and we'll go."

"Yay!" Akane jumped up to hug her father. "Thank you, Daddy!"

He chuckled. "You get changed too. You aren't wearing park clothes." Akane was dressed in a skirt and blouse since Kei took her for pictures earlier and wouldn't take them off.

"Okay!" She scurried off to her room.

"We're gonna have to learn to say no to her someday." Kei shook her head and rested her hands on his shoulders.

Tasuki took her hands in his and looked up at her. "Yeah…we will, but not now."

She smiled. "You're right. Now hurry and get out of your office clothes before Akane finishes."

He chuckled and got up. "Okay. Can't make her wait of course."

"What car should we take? I'll get the keys."

"No car. We'll walk. It's nice out and I don't feel like being in the car again."

"Okay. Sounds good. I'll get my shoes then."

A few minutes later, the three were on their way. Akane happily walked between her mother and father, blissfully unaware of everything her parents had gone through to be together.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Not worry about prophecies? Sure. Not worry about crazed, bloodthirsty revenge seekers? Of course not.

Okay, that was the first of 4 Afterthoughts pieces. Should I continue and write the other 3? To see more about Akane and her cousins, read Amber and Emerald: Full Circle. It takes place 20 years after the events of Amethyst and Amber: I Will Always Be With You.

~*~Shadow Hawk~*~

             4/23/03