SECURITY - By Blue Silhouette
I lie in bed, unable to sleep.
The nights are hot and humid, making it hard to even try.
When I think I'm getting somewhere near falling asleep, anguished cries filter through the thin walls of my bedroom, snapping me back to reality. Kicking off the covers, I go and see who it is.
I check on Nagi first. I know there are nights he can't sleep, usually because he's been thinking too deeply about his past. But not tonight. It's not him.
Then I check on Farfarello, just in case something's happened to him and he can suddenly feel pain, or something akin to that. It's around 2 am, and I'm not thinking straight. There's a slight rattle of chains and a mumble. He's fine.
So that just leaves..
Schuldig! As I get closer to his room, the cries get louder. Opening the door, I see Schuldig tossing and turning, his sheet has fallen to his waist. I call his name, but I get no response. He starts thrashing, like he's stuck in some horrific nightmare with no escape. Dodging the thrashing arms, I sit on the bed and hold him close to me. He seems to calm down quite a bit, but his cries are still loud.
"Shh, it's okay," I say, trying to soothe him, knowing fully well he can't hear me. His hair is plastered to his face and he's drenched with sweat. He grabs my arm and grips it tightly, his cries reduced to whimpers as I stroke his hair with my free hand. I feel like shaking him to snap him out of it, but I've learned better than to interrupt a telepath during a sleep cycle.
I wonder how he can live with this; the nightmares that he has, according to him, are so vivid, so real. He has to take powerful drugs just to help him sleep at night, but I don't think they're working for him. He's been on them for so long that he's addicted, making it impossible to stop taking them. I'm concerned about him.
Suddenly, he stops whimpering and his eyes flutter open. His breathing is ragged and his pulse is up. He regards me with surprise when he realises I'm there, and loosens his grip on my arm.
"You were here?" he questions.
"Yes," I answer, brushing his hair out of his eyes.
"The whole time?"
"The whole time."
He sits upright, and draws his knees to his naked chest. Leaning over, he opens the draw on the bedside table and pulls out his medication. After taking it, he lays with his head in my lap.
"Do you think I'm weak, Brad?" he asks after a short silence, voice bereft of its usual mocking tone.
He's so vulnerable right now; that vulnerability makes him seem beautiful, to me at least. It makes me feel like I need to protect him.
"No, Schu, you're not weak. You're far from it."
"Danke, I needed to hear that."
I stay with him until I think he's asleep, and then I creep out of the room.
"Brad," I hear Schuldig's voice, "don't leave me..."
He whimpers softly. He must have felt so alone in that nightmare. I turn back and climb into bed with him. He wraps his arms around my waist and leans his head on my chest.
"Don't leave me."
"I won't leave you," I say, kissing him on the head, "I'll never leave you."
Sleep claims us both as we snuggle against each other, the demons gone for now.
I lie in bed, unable to sleep.
The nights are hot and humid, making it hard to even try.
When I think I'm getting somewhere near falling asleep, anguished cries filter through the thin walls of my bedroom, snapping me back to reality. Kicking off the covers, I go and see who it is.
I check on Nagi first. I know there are nights he can't sleep, usually because he's been thinking too deeply about his past. But not tonight. It's not him.
Then I check on Farfarello, just in case something's happened to him and he can suddenly feel pain, or something akin to that. It's around 2 am, and I'm not thinking straight. There's a slight rattle of chains and a mumble. He's fine.
So that just leaves..
Schuldig! As I get closer to his room, the cries get louder. Opening the door, I see Schuldig tossing and turning, his sheet has fallen to his waist. I call his name, but I get no response. He starts thrashing, like he's stuck in some horrific nightmare with no escape. Dodging the thrashing arms, I sit on the bed and hold him close to me. He seems to calm down quite a bit, but his cries are still loud.
"Shh, it's okay," I say, trying to soothe him, knowing fully well he can't hear me. His hair is plastered to his face and he's drenched with sweat. He grabs my arm and grips it tightly, his cries reduced to whimpers as I stroke his hair with my free hand. I feel like shaking him to snap him out of it, but I've learned better than to interrupt a telepath during a sleep cycle.
I wonder how he can live with this; the nightmares that he has, according to him, are so vivid, so real. He has to take powerful drugs just to help him sleep at night, but I don't think they're working for him. He's been on them for so long that he's addicted, making it impossible to stop taking them. I'm concerned about him.
Suddenly, he stops whimpering and his eyes flutter open. His breathing is ragged and his pulse is up. He regards me with surprise when he realises I'm there, and loosens his grip on my arm.
"You were here?" he questions.
"Yes," I answer, brushing his hair out of his eyes.
"The whole time?"
"The whole time."
He sits upright, and draws his knees to his naked chest. Leaning over, he opens the draw on the bedside table and pulls out his medication. After taking it, he lays with his head in my lap.
"Do you think I'm weak, Brad?" he asks after a short silence, voice bereft of its usual mocking tone.
He's so vulnerable right now; that vulnerability makes him seem beautiful, to me at least. It makes me feel like I need to protect him.
"No, Schu, you're not weak. You're far from it."
"Danke, I needed to hear that."
I stay with him until I think he's asleep, and then I creep out of the room.
"Brad," I hear Schuldig's voice, "don't leave me..."
He whimpers softly. He must have felt so alone in that nightmare. I turn back and climb into bed with him. He wraps his arms around my waist and leans his head on my chest.
"Don't leave me."
"I won't leave you," I say, kissing him on the head, "I'll never leave you."
Sleep claims us both as we snuggle against each other, the demons gone for now.