As ever, thanks for reviewing the last chapter and, as this is the final
chapter - thanks to everyone who's ever reviewed!
The last part of this chapter is in Syd's POV. You'll know what I'm talking about when you get to it.
So here it is, the last chapter. Enjoy!
Just gonna do a quick "previously on" cause you've probably all forgotten something that's mentioned in here
"Cauber looked distressed, and Sydney felt sorry for him. It was obvious that he had never been in this kind of situation before, and that was unable to handle it. She decided that if he co-operated she would not be too harsh on him."
Hehe, that was a bit pointless but I just thought I'd have a little reminder :)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The delicate breeze kissed Sydney's face and gently brushed her hair out of her eyes. The air was a warmish kind of cool, as if the half-risen sun could not decide whether to continue its steady climb or to sink below the horizon for an extra hours' sleep. Sydney relished the feel of the sand beneath her feet as she walked along the deserted beach. She had left Vaughn in the car, wishing to be alone for a while, and he had understood - his willingness to stay behind helped a little by his need to catch up on the sleep neither of them had had.
As she walked, she concentrated on the decision at hand. However, all thoughts of work were soon abandoned as the rapidly rising sun threw colours of every shade and hue into the previously grey sky. Pink, purple, orange, yellow. The sheer beauty every morning brought always amazed Sydney and she stood watching in awe as the sky was painted before her eyes. It was as if the performance was purely for her benefit, for there was no one else around to see it. Gradually, the colours melted together to form a cloudless blue, and the day had begun.
She had always worked methodically, and this was no exception. Weighing up the pros and cons, she began to sift through the reasons to stay at the CIA and the reasons to go. First of all, there was the knowledge that she was good at being a spy. It was no secret that she was one of the Agency's best agents, and she would have been lying if she said that she didn't like the feeling that gave her. After all, it was natural to enjoy being good at something. . . but did being good at deceiving people really count? Of course it did, she was serving her country. Glossing over that, Sydney moved onto the next reason to stay: the adrenaline rush. Sydney was decidedly an adrenaline addict. Although she rarely had time to think about how she was feeling when she was actually feeling it, she loved the excited fear she felt when disarming a bomb, her heart hammering in her chest. Being on a mission was the only way to feel that, she was quite sure, and now that she had tasted it again she wasn't sure if she wanted to let go. The proud feeling of accomplishment when she achieved something big was something else again. But when she thought about it, that feeling was not exclusive to CIA agents - she had felt it many times as a teacher, when her entire class managed to get full marks on a spelling test or when, after weeks of rehearsing with them, they had all been word-perfect in the school play.
Now she was torn. She loved those children so much, and she wanted to teach them and protect them. But wouldn't she be protecting them if she worked for the CIA? None of them knew what the CIA was, or what they fought against. The kinds of evil that existed outside the realm of fairytales and Disney movies. People whose master plan was not to kidnap a princess, but to blow up a building, killing innocent people. If she returned to the CIA, Sydney would be protecting them from that kind of evil and this, she thought, was something worth considering. But she had been so proud of being a teacher, so proud of herself that she had even told her mother. Was all that work and happiness going to be wasted? She didn't want to give it up, because she knew that she would never be as happy at her CIA-Ops-Centre-same-as-everyone-else's-desk as she would be in her own classroom, surrounded by colourful charts of multiplication tables, maps of the USA and the world, pictures and stories which had earned a place on the wall by her desk, and most of all the enormous wall display about the rainforest. She smiled when she thought of it. It took up the entire back wall of the classroom, and had taken an impressive three days to put together. The class had been relieved of their lessons to help and Sydney and the children had loved every minute of it. Big trees, with crêpe paper leaves and filled with bright parrots painted in every colour of the rainbow, framed a rich green background which was hardly visible for the assorted animals sprawled across it. It didn't matter that the animals, drawn by the seven and eight year old class, hardly resembled animals at all but were more a mass of colour, with two clack dots for eyes and a grinning mouth. As soon as you stepped up to that wall, you could sense the love and time that had gone into it, and you just knew that it was special.
The sun was climbing steadily higher in the sky, and Sydney was no longer alone on the vast stretch of golden sand. A few early-risers were about, looking forward to a day on the beach with their families or friends. She began to think of all that had happened since the start of the summer, and her first day back at the CIA. There had been Cauber, right at the start. She had forgotten about him, but she remembered now and realised how unhappy he must have been. He hadn't wanted to be involved with Lloyd, but he had somehow ended up in the middle of things. She thought that through for a while, and came to the conclusion that she knew a lot of people like that. First and foremost, there was herself. She had been programmed to be a spy when she was only six years old and a part of her would never forgive her father for trapping her in the life of lies she had suffered for so many years. Then there was Will. He'd had it worse than her, she figured. At least she hadn't known until it was too late that this life had not really been her decision. She wondered what it must be like to be forced, for your own safety and life no less, into the life of espionage and deceit.
Her thoughts were broken when she felt Vaughn's arms slip around her waist. She had been so deep in thought that she had not noticed him coming up behind her.
"How goes the thinking?" he asked with a smile, kissing her neck gently between his words.
"I still haven't made a choice," she said, frowning.
"You have a whole week yet,"
"I need to decide now though. It's going to drive me crazy until I do, you know I won't be able to think of anything else until I know which direction I'm going to take my life in," she replied seriously.
"I wish I could help you," he said, wistfully.
"Maybe you can," he was surprised by the simplicity with which she said it. Sydney had always believed that she needed to make these kinds of choices by herself. Somewhere along the line she had picked up the idea that if people influenced her choices in life, she would always wonder what she would have chosen if she had been left to work things out alone. This was unsurprising, perhaps, since her previous, SD-6-filled life, had mainly been decided by other people, namely her father.
Sydney interrupted Vaughn's thoughts when she continued speaking. "What am I fighting for?" she asked.
"You mean at the CIA?"
"Yeah,"
"Only you can answer that, Syd."
"But I don't know. It used to be Danny. When I started working there I was fighting for revenge. . . revenge for Danny's death."
"I know," Vaughn said quietly. "But that changed didn't it?"
Sydney nodded. "What are you fighting for?" she asked suddenly.
Vaughn took a few seconds to think. "Partly you," Sydney's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and Vaughn seemed to sense it, because he explained. "I was fighting because you were. You wanted to bring down SD-6 so desperately, because of what Sloane did to you and to Danny. I wanted to help you, because I loved you from the moment I saw you, and I wanted more than anything to see you happy. Eventually, that became fighting so that we could be together when SD-6 was gone."
Sydney smiled. "What else were you fighting for?"
"What else?"
"Yeah. You said it was partly me. What was the other part?"
Vaughn let go of Sydney waist and stood beside her, looking out over the glittering ocean. "Revenge," he said at length.
"For your father's death?" Sydney asked gently. He nodded.
"A part of me never got over his death, and never will. Even though I've come to terms with your mother's part in his death, there's still something inside me that wants to bring destruction to anyone and everyone involved."
"I used to be like that - about Danny, I mean," Sydney said, sadly. "But then I realised something."
"What?" Vaughn asked, interested.
"Revenge is pointless, because in the end it's too late for those of us already involved."
They both stood, contemplating Sydney's words as the sun crept up in the sky and the waves lapped soothingly up onto the sand. As the minutes passed, their breathing became synchronized with the movement of the water. The waves tumbled over each other onto the shore and a silent breath was drawn in; a silent breath released as the waves were pulled reluctantly back to the shimmering mass of water. Amidst the soothing tranquillity, Sydney made her choice.
* * *
I guess we all have a defining moment; when we realise who we realise who we really are or that something is truly worth fighting for. That morning on the beach, I saw things I had never seen before - things I have been surrounded by for years but never noticed. In the rosy light of the rising sun, I looked at Michael and I saw that there are good people in the world. People who simply want to love and be loved in return. People who have no place being tangled up in the dangerous web of games we play but who become trapped regardless. Those are the people worth fighting for and I know I have made the right decision.
My name is Sydney Vaughn and I am an agent for the CIA.
THE END
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
So. . . what do you think? You all know the drill - feedback makes my world go round so please, please REVIEW!!!!!
The last part of this chapter is in Syd's POV. You'll know what I'm talking about when you get to it.
So here it is, the last chapter. Enjoy!
Just gonna do a quick "previously on" cause you've probably all forgotten something that's mentioned in here
"Cauber looked distressed, and Sydney felt sorry for him. It was obvious that he had never been in this kind of situation before, and that was unable to handle it. She decided that if he co-operated she would not be too harsh on him."
Hehe, that was a bit pointless but I just thought I'd have a little reminder :)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The delicate breeze kissed Sydney's face and gently brushed her hair out of her eyes. The air was a warmish kind of cool, as if the half-risen sun could not decide whether to continue its steady climb or to sink below the horizon for an extra hours' sleep. Sydney relished the feel of the sand beneath her feet as she walked along the deserted beach. She had left Vaughn in the car, wishing to be alone for a while, and he had understood - his willingness to stay behind helped a little by his need to catch up on the sleep neither of them had had.
As she walked, she concentrated on the decision at hand. However, all thoughts of work were soon abandoned as the rapidly rising sun threw colours of every shade and hue into the previously grey sky. Pink, purple, orange, yellow. The sheer beauty every morning brought always amazed Sydney and she stood watching in awe as the sky was painted before her eyes. It was as if the performance was purely for her benefit, for there was no one else around to see it. Gradually, the colours melted together to form a cloudless blue, and the day had begun.
She had always worked methodically, and this was no exception. Weighing up the pros and cons, she began to sift through the reasons to stay at the CIA and the reasons to go. First of all, there was the knowledge that she was good at being a spy. It was no secret that she was one of the Agency's best agents, and she would have been lying if she said that she didn't like the feeling that gave her. After all, it was natural to enjoy being good at something. . . but did being good at deceiving people really count? Of course it did, she was serving her country. Glossing over that, Sydney moved onto the next reason to stay: the adrenaline rush. Sydney was decidedly an adrenaline addict. Although she rarely had time to think about how she was feeling when she was actually feeling it, she loved the excited fear she felt when disarming a bomb, her heart hammering in her chest. Being on a mission was the only way to feel that, she was quite sure, and now that she had tasted it again she wasn't sure if she wanted to let go. The proud feeling of accomplishment when she achieved something big was something else again. But when she thought about it, that feeling was not exclusive to CIA agents - she had felt it many times as a teacher, when her entire class managed to get full marks on a spelling test or when, after weeks of rehearsing with them, they had all been word-perfect in the school play.
Now she was torn. She loved those children so much, and she wanted to teach them and protect them. But wouldn't she be protecting them if she worked for the CIA? None of them knew what the CIA was, or what they fought against. The kinds of evil that existed outside the realm of fairytales and Disney movies. People whose master plan was not to kidnap a princess, but to blow up a building, killing innocent people. If she returned to the CIA, Sydney would be protecting them from that kind of evil and this, she thought, was something worth considering. But she had been so proud of being a teacher, so proud of herself that she had even told her mother. Was all that work and happiness going to be wasted? She didn't want to give it up, because she knew that she would never be as happy at her CIA-Ops-Centre-same-as-everyone-else's-desk as she would be in her own classroom, surrounded by colourful charts of multiplication tables, maps of the USA and the world, pictures and stories which had earned a place on the wall by her desk, and most of all the enormous wall display about the rainforest. She smiled when she thought of it. It took up the entire back wall of the classroom, and had taken an impressive three days to put together. The class had been relieved of their lessons to help and Sydney and the children had loved every minute of it. Big trees, with crêpe paper leaves and filled with bright parrots painted in every colour of the rainbow, framed a rich green background which was hardly visible for the assorted animals sprawled across it. It didn't matter that the animals, drawn by the seven and eight year old class, hardly resembled animals at all but were more a mass of colour, with two clack dots for eyes and a grinning mouth. As soon as you stepped up to that wall, you could sense the love and time that had gone into it, and you just knew that it was special.
The sun was climbing steadily higher in the sky, and Sydney was no longer alone on the vast stretch of golden sand. A few early-risers were about, looking forward to a day on the beach with their families or friends. She began to think of all that had happened since the start of the summer, and her first day back at the CIA. There had been Cauber, right at the start. She had forgotten about him, but she remembered now and realised how unhappy he must have been. He hadn't wanted to be involved with Lloyd, but he had somehow ended up in the middle of things. She thought that through for a while, and came to the conclusion that she knew a lot of people like that. First and foremost, there was herself. She had been programmed to be a spy when she was only six years old and a part of her would never forgive her father for trapping her in the life of lies she had suffered for so many years. Then there was Will. He'd had it worse than her, she figured. At least she hadn't known until it was too late that this life had not really been her decision. She wondered what it must be like to be forced, for your own safety and life no less, into the life of espionage and deceit.
Her thoughts were broken when she felt Vaughn's arms slip around her waist. She had been so deep in thought that she had not noticed him coming up behind her.
"How goes the thinking?" he asked with a smile, kissing her neck gently between his words.
"I still haven't made a choice," she said, frowning.
"You have a whole week yet,"
"I need to decide now though. It's going to drive me crazy until I do, you know I won't be able to think of anything else until I know which direction I'm going to take my life in," she replied seriously.
"I wish I could help you," he said, wistfully.
"Maybe you can," he was surprised by the simplicity with which she said it. Sydney had always believed that she needed to make these kinds of choices by herself. Somewhere along the line she had picked up the idea that if people influenced her choices in life, she would always wonder what she would have chosen if she had been left to work things out alone. This was unsurprising, perhaps, since her previous, SD-6-filled life, had mainly been decided by other people, namely her father.
Sydney interrupted Vaughn's thoughts when she continued speaking. "What am I fighting for?" she asked.
"You mean at the CIA?"
"Yeah,"
"Only you can answer that, Syd."
"But I don't know. It used to be Danny. When I started working there I was fighting for revenge. . . revenge for Danny's death."
"I know," Vaughn said quietly. "But that changed didn't it?"
Sydney nodded. "What are you fighting for?" she asked suddenly.
Vaughn took a few seconds to think. "Partly you," Sydney's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and Vaughn seemed to sense it, because he explained. "I was fighting because you were. You wanted to bring down SD-6 so desperately, because of what Sloane did to you and to Danny. I wanted to help you, because I loved you from the moment I saw you, and I wanted more than anything to see you happy. Eventually, that became fighting so that we could be together when SD-6 was gone."
Sydney smiled. "What else were you fighting for?"
"What else?"
"Yeah. You said it was partly me. What was the other part?"
Vaughn let go of Sydney waist and stood beside her, looking out over the glittering ocean. "Revenge," he said at length.
"For your father's death?" Sydney asked gently. He nodded.
"A part of me never got over his death, and never will. Even though I've come to terms with your mother's part in his death, there's still something inside me that wants to bring destruction to anyone and everyone involved."
"I used to be like that - about Danny, I mean," Sydney said, sadly. "But then I realised something."
"What?" Vaughn asked, interested.
"Revenge is pointless, because in the end it's too late for those of us already involved."
They both stood, contemplating Sydney's words as the sun crept up in the sky and the waves lapped soothingly up onto the sand. As the minutes passed, their breathing became synchronized with the movement of the water. The waves tumbled over each other onto the shore and a silent breath was drawn in; a silent breath released as the waves were pulled reluctantly back to the shimmering mass of water. Amidst the soothing tranquillity, Sydney made her choice.
* * *
I guess we all have a defining moment; when we realise who we realise who we really are or that something is truly worth fighting for. That morning on the beach, I saw things I had never seen before - things I have been surrounded by for years but never noticed. In the rosy light of the rising sun, I looked at Michael and I saw that there are good people in the world. People who simply want to love and be loved in return. People who have no place being tangled up in the dangerous web of games we play but who become trapped regardless. Those are the people worth fighting for and I know I have made the right decision.
My name is Sydney Vaughn and I am an agent for the CIA.
THE END
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
So. . . what do you think? You all know the drill - feedback makes my world go round so please, please REVIEW!!!!!