Author's Note: I don't own Chobits. Spoilers if you haven't finished the series. I had to write this after I finished watching the anime series because it touched me so much. This is Chi's POV on what happiness is and what her happiness is. Of course, this is Chi so she talks in third person like "Chi doesn't think so" but you might notice I later switch her back to first person like "I don't think so." I do that because, as I'm sure you'll all remember, in the last episode Chi switches to first person as she talks to her 'other half' and figures out what her happiness is. When she switches to first in this fic, she is realizing what her happiness is. But by the very end of the episode, she is back to third person, so I switch it back to "Chi doesn't think so". Just telling you so you all don't think I screwed up; it was done on purpose. XD Please enjoy and review!

Chi's Happiness

By: Lauren

What is happiness?

Hideki said it is when you smile. When you smile, you are happy. But sometimes Chi doubts that. Boss smiles when he thinks of Yumi but it is a sad smile. His eyes look empty, distant, and he holds onto his chest like his heart hurts. So how can he smile when he is sad? He looks 'out of it' and he is obviously not happy yet he smiles painfully. Boss isn't happy but he smiles. How can boss' sorrowful smile be happiness though?

Except…Hideki doesn't lie…so is that still happiness? Or is it sorrow? Chi does not understand. Even Chi can smile when she truly isn't happy. Hideki says when you hold hands you are happy. Chi is happy when she holds Hideki's hand. Chi's heart feels warm and bumps a lot. Except…Chi bets that people can still hold hands and not be happy. Then holding hands is pointless. Chi thinks it is fake to hold hands with someone you are not happy with.

But you can still be happy when you don't hold hands too. Chi is happy to watch Hideki be happy. Chi doesn't need to hold hands with him to be happy, although holding hands is still very nice. Chi likes it. Sister was happy just to watch the person she belonged with from afar, but sister's happiness didn't last. A sad thing happened to her. A very, very sad thing. Chi doesn't want that sad thing to happen to her too. It hurts. Chi hopes it doesn't happen to Chi too, not again.

Happiness is a funny thing. It seems to have many different shapes. Many different definitions too and it is different for almost everyone. Some people are happy making others happy or just being with them. Some are happy to watch those they love from afar. Some are happy doing every day, normal things. Some are happy with everything and with life. Their pets make them happy, their perscoms make them happy, their families and friends make them happy, sometimes even their work. Chi noticed though that people seem to lose hope ever so quickly when they don't have a happy moment in their life. People can lose their happiness, yes, but they can gain it also. Chi thinks that even if people erased the sad, bad things, the happy things would disappear too. People wouldn't appreciate the happy things.

Love seems to make people very happy too. But…Chi does not understand this 'love' either. Chi's other me, Chi's sister, says it is being with the person you belong with. The person who can find you out of all the people and all the 'it'. Is Hideki Chi's someone she belongs with? Chi hopes so because he makes Chi happy. Chi is happy when he is happy. He makes Chi smile and Chi likes holding his hand. So does Chi have happiness? Does Chi have love?

Love and happiness seems painful sometimes too. Chi doesn't understand that either. If love and happiness is supposed to be good, why does it hurt? Chi gets so confused! The one thing Chi is sure of is that she belongs with Hideki and she is happy when he is happy, Chi is happy when she is with him, even if this happiness might bring Chi sadness. Chi doesn't like not seeing Hideki. But Chi will be strong for Hideki. Even if there are some things that Chi can't do for him, Chi will still be with him if he wants Chi to stay.

Guess what! Hideki finally taught Chi what real happiness is! He said that happiness is to be with someone you like, even though there might be pain or sadness. It's more painful not to be together. Chi thinks she finally understands what happiness is!

Chi understands…

Hideki taught Chi well! He is a good teacher for Chi. He picked me out of all the humans and all the 'it'. He taught Chi what true happiness and love is and he even gave me it…I'm glad that he is the person I belong with, and that he wants to belong with me too… Hideki gave me happiness and he still does. I finally found him…even if I experienced the pain of being with him but not being able to do anything for him. The pain of seeing him in pain…but not seeing him brings me more pain.

Happiness is…. Hideki….

This is my happiness. My happiness is here with him. Even if it brings me pain and heartache…as long as I have him.

I found him. Chi's happiness.

Chi is a computer. Chi is not human. But Chi wants to be with Hideki. Hideki wants to be with Chi too. There are so many people in this city and so many 'it'. Everybody is loved. To be loved by someone…to share it with many people and many 'it'. He will find me from all the people and all the 'it'.

I am happy…whether I am smiling, holding hands or not doing anything at all…as long as Hideki stays by my side…Chi is happy…

I'm here with him.

We are very happy.

I'm happy.