This is the second chapter of This Feeling Inside. I'm writing it before I've posted it on fanfiction.net so I'm not sure how
the public likes the first chapter, but I'm mainly posting them for my own musings.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but J.K. Rowling owns me.
Summary: Lily Evans has heard all the rumors about James Potter being a player, but she doesn't believe in them until she is
another victim to his heartbreak. The characters are stero-typical: Lily is smart and a perfectionist and James is a
sex-fanatic with good grades.
Take Me To My Bliss
By Guard Girl
Chapter Two: The Mask
'Oh, shit, is he moving his face towards mine?' Lily froze in shock and watched his eyes close and thin lips slightly pucker
out. Her last thought before she blocked out the whole entire world was that her lips were chapped. She didn't even feel
the kiss, her mind too much in shock. Then she came to her senses, felt his lips for a split second and pulled away quickly.
"What do you think your doing?" Lily practically shouted, trying to keep her cool so she wouldn't completely scared him.
Hey, she still wanted to give the guy a chance. He may of taken her giggling as a sign that she wanted to be kissed. Damn her
girly-ness! If she weren't a girl, she wouldn't have a problem with giggling.
"I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to kiss you." He looked so cute there and seemed honestly sorry that he had miss-read her
signs and kissed her. Plus, Lily was helpless against the puppy face.
She sighed and said, using all the strength she could muster, "No... I'm sorry for... freaking out on you." Lily rarely
apologized.
James immediately lightened up and gave her a hug that pushed all the air out of her lungs. "Thank you, Lily! I was afraid
you would hate me! I promise not to kiss you unless I have your permission."
Lily coughed out the rest of the air she had inside of her and started to, in vain, to beat his arm so he could get the
picture that she had no air. "Stop...!" she strangled out.
"Oh my gosh, that's twice tonight I messed up! I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" and he gave the puppy face again.
"It's alright, it's alright, just... avoid touching me until I become more comfortable with you... if I do decided whether or
not I want to date you." That seemed to comfort James so he leaned back, smiled contently and looked up at the stars. Lily
really didn't have much to say since she was feeling a bit awkward after having her first kiss being taken away by a mistake,
so she said while looking at her watch, "Well, it's ten thirty and I still need to do my homework. I guess I'll be going."
A little lie never hurt anything, did it? So what if she didn't have any homework?
"May I walk up with you?"
"Wouldn't that be sensible since we both are in the same house and year?"
"Oh, yeah... sorry."
"Stop apologizing! There's nothing to be sorry about." Lily fumed. This time James bit his lip from apologizing for
apologizing. They walked in silence up to the common room. When they approached the stairs where they split up for boys and
girls, they both turned towards each other in an odd sort of way, not exactly knowing how to say goodbye. Lily, who has never
said "good bye" to a guy before since she had never dated didn't know what to do and James, who Lily assumed James just
snogged the girl goodnight must be at a bit of a lost, too.
"Um, good night, James. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night, Lily." Lily turned to go when James called after her, "Wait!" She turned back around on the third step. "May you
sit with me during breakfast tomorrow?"
Lily was a bit shocked since no one had ever asked her to sit next to them, and the only person who did voluntarily sit next
to her was Bella who was her only good friend. She had people who she talked to but no one who she really confined in like
Bella. She thought about the idea of sitting with James, Sirius, and Remus, seemed to like the idea, but one thing stopped
her from agreeing. "No." James looked disappointed. "I will, but only under one condition."
"What?"
"Let Bella sit with me?"
James looked confused, as if why she had even bothered to ask such a simple question. "Yeah, Bella can sit with us. Really,
you could of brought her with you tomorrow without asking and I wouldn't of cared. I don't think the boys would of, either."
Lily smiled a polite smile and said, "Alright then, tomorrow at breakfast it is," and she turned to leave.
"Good night, Lily," James called behind her.
"Good night, James."
James walked into his dorm room and shut the door behind him.
"How did it go?" Sirius asked without looking up from his spot on his bed. He was staring at the ceiling.
"It went well. I'll give it a week. Maybe two. She seems a bit more firm about me not touching her in my sort of way."
"Oh, a challenge I see." Sirius chuckled.
"Hey, I said that I'll bring her to bed. I meant it. I am determined to sleep with every girl in our year."
"Yeah, ok. You still gota sleep with what's-her-face, Lily's friend... Arabella?"
"Got that covered. I slept with her back in fourth year."
"Oh, ok. Does Lily know?"
"I doubt it. Heck, I even doubt she herself knows about it. She was pretty smashed."
"Oh, so that was the one at the Christmas Party!"
"Yeah, I guess it was... forgot."
"Did you take her virginity?" Remus joined the conversation. He was always the serious one.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. She was really tight."
"That's disgusting." Remus said with a sour look on his face.
"That's awesome! So how many is that? Four? Five?" Sirius brought out a note pad that had all the people that James slept
with, how many girls he took the virginity of, how many people Sirius slept with/took their virginity, and same with Remus.
James was in the lead with sleeping with twelve girls, his first being in his third year, and taking her virginity. He
thought it was love. After he slept with her, he figured out that he didn't, and it was just his hormones talking and decided
to listen to those hormones and bed every girl in the seventh year, and other years, too. Sirius only slept with five girls,
each one only doing it out of love-or lust, he wasn't sure which. Remus was still a virgin and planned on staying that way
until he was sure he truly loved someone. "Says here it'll be your fifth one. Good job! That's my boy." He wrote Arabella's
name down under the column named "Virgin."
"How can you make him feel as if he has achieved something by this? You are breaking so many girls hearts, making them feel
like you love them, sleep with them, and break it off. Why do you do this?" Remus asked.
"I'm horny," James said with an air of "Who cares." He took his showering things and went into the bathroom. "Besides,
there's nothing wrong with having sex- as long as you know that they're clean. And believe me, Lily is defiantly clean."
"And what about their feelings?"
"I don't care," And he closed the door to the bathroom.
Lily closed the door to her dorm room.
"How did it go?" Bella jumped up from her bed.
"It was alright... He was a bit pushy."
Bella looked thoughtful. "Hm... Did you guys kiss?"
"Yeah, but I pushed him off of me. I told him that I didn't want to move that fast."
"That was a smart move. Don't let him do anything to you if you don't want to. Promise me that, ok?" Bella looked serious.
"Yeah, I will. Why are you so concerned? You would know better than anyone that I wouldn't let anyone touch me in a way that
I wouldn't want them to."'
"I know, it's just that... you know what people say about him. They say he's slept around."
"Those are just rumors."
"No, they're not!" She covered her mouth with her hand.
"Bella, what's wrong?"
She looked hesitant. "Lily, I haven't told you this, but... do you remember the Christmas party last year?"
"Yeah, I remember finding you in a room on a bed, passed out."
"I don't remember anything about that night. I vaguely remember kissing James, but that's about it. When I woke up, my thighs
were sore that I could barely walk. There was also a little bit of blood on my pants, and I didn't have my period."
"You don't think..."
"I don't know... I had a lot to drink. I can't remember anything about that night."
"But you weren't... you know... pregnant?"
"No, no, I made sure to have a test afterwards. I had forgotten that I had just finished my period so I wouldn't have been
ovulating."
"So how do you know that the blood may have been your period acting stupid and decided to linger?"
"I thought that, but I think that when the hymen gets broken, it's rich blood, not like when you have your period. It was
defiantly bright red, like I was cut or something. And I wasn't. But then again, it could have been my period being stupid."
"That's so scary... I'm sorry I wasn't there."
"It's ok. We didn't know each other back then."
"Yeah, that's right. That's how we met each other." Lily seemed to brighten up after such a serious conversation.
Bella smiled and nodded. "Well, I think it's about time for bed."
"You're right. I'll take a shower. I'll try not to take too long so I don't keep you up."
"Don't worry about it. The sound of the shower will probably make me sleepy."
Lily laughed. "I know what you mean! I'll try not to fall asleep in the shower."
"Oh, Bella?"
"Yeah?" Bella lifted her head from her pillow.
"James asked me to sit with him at breakfast tomorrow and I said that I would only do so if you sat with me."
"Yeah, sure I'll sit there."
"You sure?"
"Don't worry about me. Besides, we don't even know for sure if I was raped."
"That's true. Sweet Dreams, Bella." She smiled warmly at her friend.
"'Night, Lily!"
the public likes the first chapter, but I'm mainly posting them for my own musings.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but J.K. Rowling owns me.
Summary: Lily Evans has heard all the rumors about James Potter being a player, but she doesn't believe in them until she is
another victim to his heartbreak. The characters are stero-typical: Lily is smart and a perfectionist and James is a
sex-fanatic with good grades.
Take Me To My Bliss
By Guard Girl
Chapter Two: The Mask
'Oh, shit, is he moving his face towards mine?' Lily froze in shock and watched his eyes close and thin lips slightly pucker
out. Her last thought before she blocked out the whole entire world was that her lips were chapped. She didn't even feel
the kiss, her mind too much in shock. Then she came to her senses, felt his lips for a split second and pulled away quickly.
"What do you think your doing?" Lily practically shouted, trying to keep her cool so she wouldn't completely scared him.
Hey, she still wanted to give the guy a chance. He may of taken her giggling as a sign that she wanted to be kissed. Damn her
girly-ness! If she weren't a girl, she wouldn't have a problem with giggling.
"I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to kiss you." He looked so cute there and seemed honestly sorry that he had miss-read her
signs and kissed her. Plus, Lily was helpless against the puppy face.
She sighed and said, using all the strength she could muster, "No... I'm sorry for... freaking out on you." Lily rarely
apologized.
James immediately lightened up and gave her a hug that pushed all the air out of her lungs. "Thank you, Lily! I was afraid
you would hate me! I promise not to kiss you unless I have your permission."
Lily coughed out the rest of the air she had inside of her and started to, in vain, to beat his arm so he could get the
picture that she had no air. "Stop...!" she strangled out.
"Oh my gosh, that's twice tonight I messed up! I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" and he gave the puppy face again.
"It's alright, it's alright, just... avoid touching me until I become more comfortable with you... if I do decided whether or
not I want to date you." That seemed to comfort James so he leaned back, smiled contently and looked up at the stars. Lily
really didn't have much to say since she was feeling a bit awkward after having her first kiss being taken away by a mistake,
so she said while looking at her watch, "Well, it's ten thirty and I still need to do my homework. I guess I'll be going."
A little lie never hurt anything, did it? So what if she didn't have any homework?
"May I walk up with you?"
"Wouldn't that be sensible since we both are in the same house and year?"
"Oh, yeah... sorry."
"Stop apologizing! There's nothing to be sorry about." Lily fumed. This time James bit his lip from apologizing for
apologizing. They walked in silence up to the common room. When they approached the stairs where they split up for boys and
girls, they both turned towards each other in an odd sort of way, not exactly knowing how to say goodbye. Lily, who has never
said "good bye" to a guy before since she had never dated didn't know what to do and James, who Lily assumed James just
snogged the girl goodnight must be at a bit of a lost, too.
"Um, good night, James. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night, Lily." Lily turned to go when James called after her, "Wait!" She turned back around on the third step. "May you
sit with me during breakfast tomorrow?"
Lily was a bit shocked since no one had ever asked her to sit next to them, and the only person who did voluntarily sit next
to her was Bella who was her only good friend. She had people who she talked to but no one who she really confined in like
Bella. She thought about the idea of sitting with James, Sirius, and Remus, seemed to like the idea, but one thing stopped
her from agreeing. "No." James looked disappointed. "I will, but only under one condition."
"What?"
"Let Bella sit with me?"
James looked confused, as if why she had even bothered to ask such a simple question. "Yeah, Bella can sit with us. Really,
you could of brought her with you tomorrow without asking and I wouldn't of cared. I don't think the boys would of, either."
Lily smiled a polite smile and said, "Alright then, tomorrow at breakfast it is," and she turned to leave.
"Good night, Lily," James called behind her.
"Good night, James."
James walked into his dorm room and shut the door behind him.
"How did it go?" Sirius asked without looking up from his spot on his bed. He was staring at the ceiling.
"It went well. I'll give it a week. Maybe two. She seems a bit more firm about me not touching her in my sort of way."
"Oh, a challenge I see." Sirius chuckled.
"Hey, I said that I'll bring her to bed. I meant it. I am determined to sleep with every girl in our year."
"Yeah, ok. You still gota sleep with what's-her-face, Lily's friend... Arabella?"
"Got that covered. I slept with her back in fourth year."
"Oh, ok. Does Lily know?"
"I doubt it. Heck, I even doubt she herself knows about it. She was pretty smashed."
"Oh, so that was the one at the Christmas Party!"
"Yeah, I guess it was... forgot."
"Did you take her virginity?" Remus joined the conversation. He was always the serious one.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. She was really tight."
"That's disgusting." Remus said with a sour look on his face.
"That's awesome! So how many is that? Four? Five?" Sirius brought out a note pad that had all the people that James slept
with, how many girls he took the virginity of, how many people Sirius slept with/took their virginity, and same with Remus.
James was in the lead with sleeping with twelve girls, his first being in his third year, and taking her virginity. He
thought it was love. After he slept with her, he figured out that he didn't, and it was just his hormones talking and decided
to listen to those hormones and bed every girl in the seventh year, and other years, too. Sirius only slept with five girls,
each one only doing it out of love-or lust, he wasn't sure which. Remus was still a virgin and planned on staying that way
until he was sure he truly loved someone. "Says here it'll be your fifth one. Good job! That's my boy." He wrote Arabella's
name down under the column named "Virgin."
"How can you make him feel as if he has achieved something by this? You are breaking so many girls hearts, making them feel
like you love them, sleep with them, and break it off. Why do you do this?" Remus asked.
"I'm horny," James said with an air of "Who cares." He took his showering things and went into the bathroom. "Besides,
there's nothing wrong with having sex- as long as you know that they're clean. And believe me, Lily is defiantly clean."
"And what about their feelings?"
"I don't care," And he closed the door to the bathroom.
Lily closed the door to her dorm room.
"How did it go?" Bella jumped up from her bed.
"It was alright... He was a bit pushy."
Bella looked thoughtful. "Hm... Did you guys kiss?"
"Yeah, but I pushed him off of me. I told him that I didn't want to move that fast."
"That was a smart move. Don't let him do anything to you if you don't want to. Promise me that, ok?" Bella looked serious.
"Yeah, I will. Why are you so concerned? You would know better than anyone that I wouldn't let anyone touch me in a way that
I wouldn't want them to."'
"I know, it's just that... you know what people say about him. They say he's slept around."
"Those are just rumors."
"No, they're not!" She covered her mouth with her hand.
"Bella, what's wrong?"
She looked hesitant. "Lily, I haven't told you this, but... do you remember the Christmas party last year?"
"Yeah, I remember finding you in a room on a bed, passed out."
"I don't remember anything about that night. I vaguely remember kissing James, but that's about it. When I woke up, my thighs
were sore that I could barely walk. There was also a little bit of blood on my pants, and I didn't have my period."
"You don't think..."
"I don't know... I had a lot to drink. I can't remember anything about that night."
"But you weren't... you know... pregnant?"
"No, no, I made sure to have a test afterwards. I had forgotten that I had just finished my period so I wouldn't have been
ovulating."
"So how do you know that the blood may have been your period acting stupid and decided to linger?"
"I thought that, but I think that when the hymen gets broken, it's rich blood, not like when you have your period. It was
defiantly bright red, like I was cut or something. And I wasn't. But then again, it could have been my period being stupid."
"That's so scary... I'm sorry I wasn't there."
"It's ok. We didn't know each other back then."
"Yeah, that's right. That's how we met each other." Lily seemed to brighten up after such a serious conversation.
Bella smiled and nodded. "Well, I think it's about time for bed."
"You're right. I'll take a shower. I'll try not to take too long so I don't keep you up."
"Don't worry about it. The sound of the shower will probably make me sleepy."
Lily laughed. "I know what you mean! I'll try not to fall asleep in the shower."
"Oh, Bella?"
"Yeah?" Bella lifted her head from her pillow.
"James asked me to sit with him at breakfast tomorrow and I said that I would only do so if you sat with me."
"Yeah, sure I'll sit there."
"You sure?"
"Don't worry about me. Besides, we don't even know for sure if I was raped."
"That's true. Sweet Dreams, Bella." She smiled warmly at her friend.
"'Night, Lily!"