Disclaimer: None of the Harry Potter characters belong to me, I'm just borrowing them.
Dedication: To all the nice men who have answered my personal add. :-)
Warning: Slash. Male on male romantic situations. You have been warned.
Author's Note: I had a desire to write another Remus/Severus fic. They have got to be my favorite pairing, and I've just been so damn pathetically romantic lately...who better to write about? This one's got a bit more humor in it...I myself know well the futility of searching through personal adds, looking for that special someone. I thought the basis would make for a nice little story.
A Personal Affair
Remus Lupin stretched out in front of his fire, lying on top of a thick pile of blankets to insulate himself against the cold. He opened his copy of the Dailey Prophet, looking for any interesting headlines.
//Not much going on...// Which was odd, all things considered.
"Damn it Remus, it's the middle of summer! Why's it so damn cold?"
"Because we're very far north, and we're on the coast Sirius. I've told you that before." After two months, Sirius was already wearing out his welcome. Remus had not exactly been expecting his old friend to show up on his door-with a letter from Dumbledore!
"It's too damn cold." Sirius was taking up the cottages one chair.
"You get used to it." Remus flipped the page, eyes scanning the classifieds. He was in desperate need of a new broom, but couldn't afford anything that wasn't used. Sadly, he couldn't find anything that fit him. He never did. Sirius was still grumbling in the background, and Remus ignored it. If Sirius wasn't grumbling, he was complaining. Or pacing. Or ranting. Remus had done his best to sympathetic and polite, but after two weeks...
//I know he's been through a traumatic experience, but still! He's making no effort to move past it.//
"And there's nothing to *do* around here!" A petulant whine highlighted the end of that statement.
"It wouldn't kill you to pick up a book, Sirius."
"God Remmie, what's with you lately?"
"Just cabin fever, I suppose." It was easier then yelling, or snapping, or placing blame. The past few weeks had been difficult for both of them. The cabin was small, and it was easy to feel cramped. Especially when Remus was very used to living alone, by his own schedule. He certainly didn't *resent* Sirius staying with him, he just wished his friend would make an effort to adjust to Remus' lifestyle.
"Yeah, it's tough." Sirius sighed, and scrubbed his hands over his face. He had changed quite a bit in the two months that he had stayed with Remus. He was clean shaven and decently dressed, and a hint of his old physique could be seen in his growing biceps. //And it doesn't help that I've been celibate for about four years now, and you're one of the best looking men that I know.// That was another problem. Remus' social life had taken a decided downturn in the past year or so. Ever since his lycanthropy became common knowledge, it had become harder to find a date. Which brought him to the next section of the Dailey Prophet. The personals.
"Remmie, you're not going to find anything in there..."
"And it's rude to read over people's shoulders." The werewolf was not in the mood to be chided by Sirius. "I really don't have too many other options. Unless of course you've suddenly decided to change your sexuality."
"Nope." Sirius shook his head, almost apologetically. "Sorry."
"As I thought. So I'm left with no other option." It had been this way for months. Searching the vast wasteland of hopelessness, searching for a small spark. And so far, no spark had been found. There was no one he had even considered getting in touch with. They were either boring, perverted, or had the dreaded listing; humans only. Today was no different. The same. Desperate sounding people who had no appeal to Remus. Except...
"Aha!" Remus jabbed his finger at the block of words. "Listen to this! 'Forty year old wizard seeks discerning male of similar tastes. Literature, philosophy and history. Must be professional and discreet. Age and race of no matter. Please contact at convenience. - S. Anonymous.' And you said I wouldn't find anything!" It was certainly the best prospect he had found. And there was a Owl Post Box number.
"You're not really going to do this, are you?" Sirius re-read the add, shaking his head. "Half of these guys are whackos, you know that. And besides...you shouldn't have to go to personal adds to get a date."
"No, but thanks to a certain professor who shall go unnamed, I have no choice." Remus didn't bother to hide the bit of venom that crept into his voice. He still couldn't believe Severus had done that, revealing him to all of the wizarding world...and ruined his social life! "I'm going to write back immediately." He couldn't try and tell Sirius how hard it was to be lonely. He knew the reaction. Sirius would just lean back on his old crutch. Azkaban. //I know I can't imagine what it must have been like for him, but I *know* what it's been like for me!// Love was never an area where Remus had much luck. He had had one relationship, which had ended horribly. The rest were just casual flings and one night stands. He was sick and tired of it.
"Knock yourself out." Sirius gave a small chuckle, and turned his attention back to the fire.
~~~~
Dear S.
I found your add in the Dailey Prophet, and I can honestly say that in months it is the first to catch my attention. I am thirty nine years old, and consider myself to be rather attractive. That is if you enjoy the rugged-if weather beaten-look! I suppose I should tell you a bit about myself. I'm a jack-of-all-trades, having done everything from ministry work to shop keeping to carpentry to teaching. I'm even attempting to write a novel. I am 5'11, with tawny colored hair and brown eyes. My favorite book is The Hobbit, and I am a fan of muggle classic rock. I do not drink, but I smoke occasionally. I am in *very* good physical condition, and I enjoy trying new things. Life is nothing without a bit of adventure. I suppose that's all for now, I don't want to bore you with a novella. But if any of this has struck your interest, please write back.
Yours,
R. Interested
"Well?" Remus looked anxiously at Sirius, letter clasped in his hands. "What do you think?"
"I think." Sirius said, pausing to consider. "I think he'd be an idiot not to write back."
"Oh, you think so?" Remus was grinning like a fool, and he knew it. But he didn't care. The whole thought that there might be someone out there who could be interested in him was thrilling.
"Are you sure you want to leave out the whole werewolf thing?"
"Yes." That had been difficult. Remus hated hiding what he was, but he found he had little choice. "If he likes me, and wants to meet with me...then I'll tell him. It's better to get that out of the way in person anyway." A rather sad excuse, but it placated Remmie's sensibilities. "If he can't get past it, well, that's his problem."
"Good way of looking at it. I really do wish you luck Remmie, you deserve to be happy." And his tone of voice made it clear Sirius meant it. Remus grinned once more at his friend-feeling all the while like a giddy schoolgirl-attached the letter to the leg of his rather mangy owl, and sent it off.
******
"It's only been two days, Remus, calm down."
"I know, I know..." Remus sighed, staring out the window. It was rather warm, in the low seventies, and he was considering working on his garden. He took a certain joy out of growing his own fruits and vegetables, and it was something to do. And of course he was able to sell them at the small farmer's market in the muggle town. "I'm going into the garden." He announced. It would at least be something to do.
//You're acting like an idiot. You've never even met this person, know hardly anything about him, and already you're fixating on him. That's not healthy.// But it couldn't be helped. S. Anonymous was his only prospect. Kneeling down, Remus began hacking at a clump of weeds that were threatening to choke his tomatoes. He became absorbed in his work, as he so often did, and so didn't hear the small deliver owl that winged it's way down to his small cottage. It landed in front of him, and had to screech to get his attention.
"Oh!" He dropped his trowel and began practically quivering with excitement. Unsteadily, he reached out to unfasten the piece of parchment from the owl's leg. Forgetting even a vocal thank you, he leapt up and darted into the house.
"Sirius!" He waved the letter over his head. "It's here!"
"Is it?" Sirius was busying himself in the kitchen. It seemed all he did was eat and work out. And practice spells.
"Well..." Remus faltered. He hadn't even *looked*, he had just assumed. "What else could it be?" He gave an indignant sniff, and opened the letter.
'Dear R.
I thank you for the description, but I don't care a whit what you look like. If I cared for looks, I would not have resorted to an advertisement in a printed editorial. I am far more concerned with character and compatibility then anything else. Physical beauty is a care of a younger man, not myself.Well, he's certainly well read! As to *your* character, I believe you may have some of the qualities I am looking for. I too am a Tolkien fan, though I found The Hobbit to be insipid and overwritten. I prefer the Silmarillion. I've never even heard of that oneOther books I enjoy include anything by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and Faust. Hmmm. When he said literature, he meant *literature!I do enjoy muggle classic rock, though I wonder if your idea of classic is the same as mine. By classic I do not dip so far back into the archives as to include The Four Seasons or any of that rubbish. Though I will allow Steppenwolf and The Rolling Stones. I refer, by classics, to the Doors, Pink Floyd, Queen, and the like. He left out The Who, but other then that...
I have been through many partners in my life. None have been to serious, but I find I am at a time in my life where a committed relationship is what I crave. I have no desire to end up a bitter, lonely old man. I am not looking for games, or a fling, or simply physical intimacy. I am looking for a life partner. If you are looking for anything else, do not even bother to reply. I am not to be trifled with, and I do not like to be taken lightly. If you are, however, also seeking a life partner, then we shall continue these letters. I am in no rush to meet you face to face. I would far rather my attraction to you be based purely on personality, rather then looks. If you are as attractive as you claim, I do not wish to be blinded by your golden beauty, and look only at that. Too often I have fallen for a pretty face and not bothered to realize that I was making a mistake. There is nothing more I have to say at the moment. Respond as you see fit.
"What a prat!" Sirius exclaimed, shaking his head. But Remus was hardly listening. He was lost in his own little world, eyes vacant and dreamy.
"He's perfect!"
~~~~~~~~~~
The next chapter's pretty much going to be letter exchanges. Hope you enjoy!