Mixed Emotions (Chapter 9)
Michiru walked next to me. "Haruka?" Michiru asked. "Yes?" I responded. "Do you like to be alone?" she asked, looking at the ground. I wonder if it was offending to me. Should it suppose to? I don't know. Should I be offended? It'll be best if I just would answer her. What was the question again? I think too much. Maybe I should join the army and forget about everything. You just get to save other people's lives. Nope, army doesn't fit for me. This would be the time I'd answer her. See? I think too much. Gotta stop thinking. I think I'm just used to it. There am I thinking again. Gotta stop. Just talk. "Uh, I'm not really a social person. I just think a lot." Well that was true.
"Oh." She responded, still looking at the ground. Oh? Did she like my answer? Was it enough? We walked a few more steps. "Hey. We are here." I said. She looked up. The sky was light blue and its clouds were just floating by. The water crashed into the rocks aimlessly. The shining sea was more beautiful than ever. Maybe because on this "special" occasion. Though Michiru didn't see that, to me, it had been in heaven. The sand below my shoes began to swish. Anyways, I looked at Michiru, who was thinking and staring at the waves of the ocean. "So...........how do you like it?" I asked. We were standing side by side. She smiled.
"Its so beautiful." Michiru softly said. Heh, knew she'd like it. Most girls usually like romantic places. If not, well then that's not my problem, yet. Anyways, she started to walk forward between where the water met the wet sand. Gosh, she looked beautiful. I know I have said this many times but it's so damn true. I just can't resist. As I watched her as the wind softly blew her fragile body, I thought the wind was going to blow her away-like paper flying against the wind. But, she stayed walking on the sand. My shoes were going to be soaked and I don't think mother will be happy of my soaked shoes. Since my shoes were already wet-and I know I'm going to be punished somehow for this, I caught up with her and walked with her side by side. The waves crashing into the water were pretty loud and would distract my hearing if Michiru said something. The sand covered a lot of broken shells, little Kermit crabs, rocks, and some garbage. Since both of us were wearing shoes, it didn't really matter if we stepped on the little things.
We stopped walking. Michiru stared at the ocean. I found a rock on the ground and threw it at the water. It skipped three times. "Perfect." I said. "Why is it perfect?" Michiru asked, looking at me. "It's a secret." I responded, smiling. Michiru took a rock from the watery sand and threw it. It skipped five times. "Have you done this before..??" I asked. She just smiled and said nothing. Maybe she was offended that I didn't tell her why is it perfect. This was her revenge. I didn't really want to know the answer so I didn't push it. We started walking side by side again.
It was already hard not knowing what she was thinking as we walked. She's probably is thinking of a way to dump me. Yeah, I can be negative sometimes but I'm afraid...... I haven't been "dumped" before and I don't want to experience the pain. Love is like heaven but it can hurt like hell. I don't want to lose her. Not now. It took a while for one of us to break the silence between us.
"The ocean water is so calm and relaxing. I always have the appreciation for the sea. It's so enchanting and wondrous. Thank you for taking me here. I really appreciate it." I blushed. "No problem. I'm willing to do favors from anybody. You know, I bet I can do at least five favors for you. Not counting this one." I said. That surprised me. I should stop saying random things. Yeah, I am willing to do favors especially my crush. Anything for her. But I didn't really plan on saying that. She just smiled and responded, "Okay, you said it. This is a promise between me and you." She put up her right hand clenched all of her fingers except her pinky. I smiled and did the same thing. Our pinkies touched and clasped together. "Okay. I promise." We released our pinkies.
"The first favor is that I want you to watch the sunset with me right now. Since I live on the east side of town, I only see the sun rise. I have never been on this side of town before, so I've never seen the sunset." Michiru said. I was surprised. Never seen the sun set before in her sixteen years of life? "You never have been here before?" I asked. "No I haven't, Haruka. The east side of town has many convenient stores, cafes, and recreation centers. Since my family and I have all what we need on the east side, we don't need to go to the west side for anything. Since I'm here, I want to see the sun set."
In my many years of my horrible life, I have never been so blessed. It's hard knowing that I would never get what I want most in the world. I know the feeling. Pretty painful. It's like trying to achieve your goal without getting closer to it everyday. You're still in the same place where you just started. You're never going to go forward. Yeah, it hurts. But I have moved one step closer. It may be one tiny step but better than where I was before. Anyways, I slowly took Michiru's hand- surprisingly, she didn't protest- and led her to the rocks where we would sit and watch the sun set. We talked about each other. I knew a lot about Michiru since then. After the sun had set, I asked her if she needed to go home.
"I told my parents that I'd be home by seven. Let's walk around. Since we are in the west side of town, I want to walk around. You can be the tour guide, Haruka." Michiru suggested. I shrugged. I didn't really care where are we going as long as I stay with Michiru. Gosh, I have longed for this day to come. Of course, I had dreamed more than just a small little "meeting" with Michiru. Hehe. This day was getting better and better. I wondered if she liked me. Michiru seemed pretty happy with me. I liked that.
"Is this the second favor?" I asked. Michiru nodded. Since I lived in the west side of town, we decided to walk around my neighborhood. We also decided that when we get to my house, I could drive her home. Yeah, I started to learn how to drive last year. Okay, so I don't have a license but as long as I don't break the rules while driving, the cops won't notice. I wonder if mother was home. Hey, my shoes started to dry off while we walked. We walked side-by-side, arms slightly touching. I was in heaven. I didn't want to force myself to her so I didn't hold her hand. We talked more until we got to my house.
I took out my keys and unlocked the door. I didn't think my father was home. His car wasn't in the driveway. I don't think he was. One parent down and one more to go. I let Michiru in first, and then closed the door. "Is your parents home?" Michiru curiously asked. "I don't think so." I responded as I looked around the house. Didn't seem like anyone was home. Sweet. I looked at the hourglass hanging on the living room wall. It was 6:30 P.M. This day come almost too fast. I asked Michiru if she wanted anything to drink. She shook her head. She looked around the house while I tried to find my car keys. The car belonged to my mom but she said she'd give it to me when I turn sixteen and get a driver's permit. It was a silver-colored Toyota Camry. It was better than no car.
"Haruka?" Michiru asked, looking at my family portrait that hung in the living room. "Yes?" I said, still trying to find my keys in the same room. "I want you to do one more favor for me." Michiru walked until she stood next to me. "Okay. What do you want me to do?" I asked. "I want you to praise my mom. I haven't been practicing the violin well so she's getting worried that something happened to me. Practice means perfect. I keep telling her that I'm fine but she is still on my case. That's where you come in." Now that doesn't seem so hard. "Okay. Hey, I found my car keys. Do you want to go now?" I asked, looking at Michiru. She nodded.
We got out of the house and went towards the silver automobile. Like a gentleman, I opened the front passenger door for Michiru. I was supposed to do that, right? Michiru smiled and went in. I then got in the driver's seat. We both fastened our seatbelts and we were off. Michiru gave me the directions to her house as I drove. I didn't drive fast, like I usually do, because I didn't want to be pulled over by a cop without a license. The next thing you know, you're downtown in an interrogation room. I didn't want that. And I didn't know if Michiru would be scared if I drive fast. I didn't want to know, at this point anyway. Before long when we arrived in her house. We both got out of the car and headed towards the front door. Nice place. Very pretty. Like Michiru.
Michiru looked very uncertain. I wonder if her mom will get mad at me if I said that Michiru is fine and you must not worry. Probably not. It was true anyways. Michiru took out her keys and unlocked the door. The interior of the house was very......perfect and clean. We took off our shoes and Michiru led me to her living room. Michiru's mom was sitting near the arm of the sofa, reading a book. Next to her was a sort of an antique lamp. It shone against the whole room. Impressive. She was wearing a red long- sleeved shirt that said "Brighten Your Day With A Smile" and a pair of blue jeans. Funky. Anyways, Mrs. Kaiou looked up at us and smiled.
"Hello Haruka. Hello Michiru. Did you two have a good time together?" she asked. "We had a great time." I blurted. I should quit blurting out things that really aren't meant to be said. They are usually said anyways. "That's good to know." Mrs. Kaiou responded, putting her book down on the table that held the lamp. She stood up. "Well...um....as far as I know, your daughter is a very nice, intelligent, pretty, charming, talented, and pretty." Darn, I said pretty twice. "She's hard working and studious. If anything bothers her, I'm sure that she'll tell you. Michiru can also have breaks. I mean, when I looked at her schedule, bam! It's pretty full and it keeps going on everyday. She might wear out. A break or two will do." There. I said it. I think I overstated what Michiru actually wanted. Darn. Well, two more favors to go.
Throughout the whole speech, Michiru just nodded and looked at her mom. Mrs. Kaiou had her arms crossed. Was she mad? "Oh...I see. Well, Michiru, you are an adult now. It's time for me to get out of your hair and make your own decisions." Both of them smiled. I think it's one of those mother- daughter moments. I shouldn't be here. "Thank you, mom." Then they hugged. Great. I was like an idiot standing there, waiting for attention.
Michiru turned to me and mouthed thank you. I quickly said, "Well, look at the time, my mom must be waiting for me..I should go now.." Both of the women turned to me. "Don't you want to stay for dinner?" Mrs. Kaiou asked. I put my hand up. "Thanks for the offer but I really must be heading home." Mrs. Kaiou nodded in acknowledgement. "Okay then." She responded. Michiru walked me to the front door. She led me outside with her and closed the door. Privacy...
"That went well." I said, grinning. "Yes, it did." Michiru responded. Okay, the both of us were standing in front of the door. I think it was the time to tell her the truth. This is going to be hard. "Michiru? I need to tell you something really important." I quietly said, looking at the ground. Michiru's face became solemn and confused. "What do you want to tell me, Haruka?" Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. "I-I am not really um...who you actually think I am." I couldn't say it. Damn. Michiru frowned. "What do you mean?" "I'm...er...gay." I softly said. "What?..You're kidding right? Don't tell me that you live in Arkansas and have a boyfriend too!" It's would make matters better if I said lesbian. This might ruin our friendship. That would be a bad sign. Okay, she was mad and scared. I could tell by her eyes that she was frightened. I don't know what. I stayed clam. "I don't live in Arkansas and I don't have a boyfriend. Look Michiru, I am a girl. I-" She slapped me. "I don't want to hear it! I want you to just go away from me and don't come near my house!!! THAT'S THE FAVOR I WANT YOU TO DO!!" she yelled. I was still standing there, stunned. She then went in her house and slammed the door really hard. Shit.
~~~~~ Author's Notes ~~~~~ Okay. Sorry for the LONG DELAY!!! I was stuck at one point and I needed to think how to proceed into how this story would end. I revised this chapter because I didn't want to put this into another chapter. I didn't know it was this long until I wrote it. I'm still sorry....anyways, thanks for the reviews!!~
Its long....isn't it???
Michiru walked next to me. "Haruka?" Michiru asked. "Yes?" I responded. "Do you like to be alone?" she asked, looking at the ground. I wonder if it was offending to me. Should it suppose to? I don't know. Should I be offended? It'll be best if I just would answer her. What was the question again? I think too much. Maybe I should join the army and forget about everything. You just get to save other people's lives. Nope, army doesn't fit for me. This would be the time I'd answer her. See? I think too much. Gotta stop thinking. I think I'm just used to it. There am I thinking again. Gotta stop. Just talk. "Uh, I'm not really a social person. I just think a lot." Well that was true.
"Oh." She responded, still looking at the ground. Oh? Did she like my answer? Was it enough? We walked a few more steps. "Hey. We are here." I said. She looked up. The sky was light blue and its clouds were just floating by. The water crashed into the rocks aimlessly. The shining sea was more beautiful than ever. Maybe because on this "special" occasion. Though Michiru didn't see that, to me, it had been in heaven. The sand below my shoes began to swish. Anyways, I looked at Michiru, who was thinking and staring at the waves of the ocean. "So...........how do you like it?" I asked. We were standing side by side. She smiled.
"Its so beautiful." Michiru softly said. Heh, knew she'd like it. Most girls usually like romantic places. If not, well then that's not my problem, yet. Anyways, she started to walk forward between where the water met the wet sand. Gosh, she looked beautiful. I know I have said this many times but it's so damn true. I just can't resist. As I watched her as the wind softly blew her fragile body, I thought the wind was going to blow her away-like paper flying against the wind. But, she stayed walking on the sand. My shoes were going to be soaked and I don't think mother will be happy of my soaked shoes. Since my shoes were already wet-and I know I'm going to be punished somehow for this, I caught up with her and walked with her side by side. The waves crashing into the water were pretty loud and would distract my hearing if Michiru said something. The sand covered a lot of broken shells, little Kermit crabs, rocks, and some garbage. Since both of us were wearing shoes, it didn't really matter if we stepped on the little things.
We stopped walking. Michiru stared at the ocean. I found a rock on the ground and threw it at the water. It skipped three times. "Perfect." I said. "Why is it perfect?" Michiru asked, looking at me. "It's a secret." I responded, smiling. Michiru took a rock from the watery sand and threw it. It skipped five times. "Have you done this before..??" I asked. She just smiled and said nothing. Maybe she was offended that I didn't tell her why is it perfect. This was her revenge. I didn't really want to know the answer so I didn't push it. We started walking side by side again.
It was already hard not knowing what she was thinking as we walked. She's probably is thinking of a way to dump me. Yeah, I can be negative sometimes but I'm afraid...... I haven't been "dumped" before and I don't want to experience the pain. Love is like heaven but it can hurt like hell. I don't want to lose her. Not now. It took a while for one of us to break the silence between us.
"The ocean water is so calm and relaxing. I always have the appreciation for the sea. It's so enchanting and wondrous. Thank you for taking me here. I really appreciate it." I blushed. "No problem. I'm willing to do favors from anybody. You know, I bet I can do at least five favors for you. Not counting this one." I said. That surprised me. I should stop saying random things. Yeah, I am willing to do favors especially my crush. Anything for her. But I didn't really plan on saying that. She just smiled and responded, "Okay, you said it. This is a promise between me and you." She put up her right hand clenched all of her fingers except her pinky. I smiled and did the same thing. Our pinkies touched and clasped together. "Okay. I promise." We released our pinkies.
"The first favor is that I want you to watch the sunset with me right now. Since I live on the east side of town, I only see the sun rise. I have never been on this side of town before, so I've never seen the sunset." Michiru said. I was surprised. Never seen the sun set before in her sixteen years of life? "You never have been here before?" I asked. "No I haven't, Haruka. The east side of town has many convenient stores, cafes, and recreation centers. Since my family and I have all what we need on the east side, we don't need to go to the west side for anything. Since I'm here, I want to see the sun set."
In my many years of my horrible life, I have never been so blessed. It's hard knowing that I would never get what I want most in the world. I know the feeling. Pretty painful. It's like trying to achieve your goal without getting closer to it everyday. You're still in the same place where you just started. You're never going to go forward. Yeah, it hurts. But I have moved one step closer. It may be one tiny step but better than where I was before. Anyways, I slowly took Michiru's hand- surprisingly, she didn't protest- and led her to the rocks where we would sit and watch the sun set. We talked about each other. I knew a lot about Michiru since then. After the sun had set, I asked her if she needed to go home.
"I told my parents that I'd be home by seven. Let's walk around. Since we are in the west side of town, I want to walk around. You can be the tour guide, Haruka." Michiru suggested. I shrugged. I didn't really care where are we going as long as I stay with Michiru. Gosh, I have longed for this day to come. Of course, I had dreamed more than just a small little "meeting" with Michiru. Hehe. This day was getting better and better. I wondered if she liked me. Michiru seemed pretty happy with me. I liked that.
"Is this the second favor?" I asked. Michiru nodded. Since I lived in the west side of town, we decided to walk around my neighborhood. We also decided that when we get to my house, I could drive her home. Yeah, I started to learn how to drive last year. Okay, so I don't have a license but as long as I don't break the rules while driving, the cops won't notice. I wonder if mother was home. Hey, my shoes started to dry off while we walked. We walked side-by-side, arms slightly touching. I was in heaven. I didn't want to force myself to her so I didn't hold her hand. We talked more until we got to my house.
I took out my keys and unlocked the door. I didn't think my father was home. His car wasn't in the driveway. I don't think he was. One parent down and one more to go. I let Michiru in first, and then closed the door. "Is your parents home?" Michiru curiously asked. "I don't think so." I responded as I looked around the house. Didn't seem like anyone was home. Sweet. I looked at the hourglass hanging on the living room wall. It was 6:30 P.M. This day come almost too fast. I asked Michiru if she wanted anything to drink. She shook her head. She looked around the house while I tried to find my car keys. The car belonged to my mom but she said she'd give it to me when I turn sixteen and get a driver's permit. It was a silver-colored Toyota Camry. It was better than no car.
"Haruka?" Michiru asked, looking at my family portrait that hung in the living room. "Yes?" I said, still trying to find my keys in the same room. "I want you to do one more favor for me." Michiru walked until she stood next to me. "Okay. What do you want me to do?" I asked. "I want you to praise my mom. I haven't been practicing the violin well so she's getting worried that something happened to me. Practice means perfect. I keep telling her that I'm fine but she is still on my case. That's where you come in." Now that doesn't seem so hard. "Okay. Hey, I found my car keys. Do you want to go now?" I asked, looking at Michiru. She nodded.
We got out of the house and went towards the silver automobile. Like a gentleman, I opened the front passenger door for Michiru. I was supposed to do that, right? Michiru smiled and went in. I then got in the driver's seat. We both fastened our seatbelts and we were off. Michiru gave me the directions to her house as I drove. I didn't drive fast, like I usually do, because I didn't want to be pulled over by a cop without a license. The next thing you know, you're downtown in an interrogation room. I didn't want that. And I didn't know if Michiru would be scared if I drive fast. I didn't want to know, at this point anyway. Before long when we arrived in her house. We both got out of the car and headed towards the front door. Nice place. Very pretty. Like Michiru.
Michiru looked very uncertain. I wonder if her mom will get mad at me if I said that Michiru is fine and you must not worry. Probably not. It was true anyways. Michiru took out her keys and unlocked the door. The interior of the house was very......perfect and clean. We took off our shoes and Michiru led me to her living room. Michiru's mom was sitting near the arm of the sofa, reading a book. Next to her was a sort of an antique lamp. It shone against the whole room. Impressive. She was wearing a red long- sleeved shirt that said "Brighten Your Day With A Smile" and a pair of blue jeans. Funky. Anyways, Mrs. Kaiou looked up at us and smiled.
"Hello Haruka. Hello Michiru. Did you two have a good time together?" she asked. "We had a great time." I blurted. I should quit blurting out things that really aren't meant to be said. They are usually said anyways. "That's good to know." Mrs. Kaiou responded, putting her book down on the table that held the lamp. She stood up. "Well...um....as far as I know, your daughter is a very nice, intelligent, pretty, charming, talented, and pretty." Darn, I said pretty twice. "She's hard working and studious. If anything bothers her, I'm sure that she'll tell you. Michiru can also have breaks. I mean, when I looked at her schedule, bam! It's pretty full and it keeps going on everyday. She might wear out. A break or two will do." There. I said it. I think I overstated what Michiru actually wanted. Darn. Well, two more favors to go.
Throughout the whole speech, Michiru just nodded and looked at her mom. Mrs. Kaiou had her arms crossed. Was she mad? "Oh...I see. Well, Michiru, you are an adult now. It's time for me to get out of your hair and make your own decisions." Both of them smiled. I think it's one of those mother- daughter moments. I shouldn't be here. "Thank you, mom." Then they hugged. Great. I was like an idiot standing there, waiting for attention.
Michiru turned to me and mouthed thank you. I quickly said, "Well, look at the time, my mom must be waiting for me..I should go now.." Both of the women turned to me. "Don't you want to stay for dinner?" Mrs. Kaiou asked. I put my hand up. "Thanks for the offer but I really must be heading home." Mrs. Kaiou nodded in acknowledgement. "Okay then." She responded. Michiru walked me to the front door. She led me outside with her and closed the door. Privacy...
"That went well." I said, grinning. "Yes, it did." Michiru responded. Okay, the both of us were standing in front of the door. I think it was the time to tell her the truth. This is going to be hard. "Michiru? I need to tell you something really important." I quietly said, looking at the ground. Michiru's face became solemn and confused. "What do you want to tell me, Haruka?" Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. "I-I am not really um...who you actually think I am." I couldn't say it. Damn. Michiru frowned. "What do you mean?" "I'm...er...gay." I softly said. "What?..You're kidding right? Don't tell me that you live in Arkansas and have a boyfriend too!" It's would make matters better if I said lesbian. This might ruin our friendship. That would be a bad sign. Okay, she was mad and scared. I could tell by her eyes that she was frightened. I don't know what. I stayed clam. "I don't live in Arkansas and I don't have a boyfriend. Look Michiru, I am a girl. I-" She slapped me. "I don't want to hear it! I want you to just go away from me and don't come near my house!!! THAT'S THE FAVOR I WANT YOU TO DO!!" she yelled. I was still standing there, stunned. She then went in her house and slammed the door really hard. Shit.
~~~~~ Author's Notes ~~~~~ Okay. Sorry for the LONG DELAY!!! I was stuck at one point and I needed to think how to proceed into how this story would end. I revised this chapter because I didn't want to put this into another chapter. I didn't know it was this long until I wrote it. I'm still sorry....anyways, thanks for the reviews!!~
Its long....isn't it???