Author's note: Okay, so the truth is, I had a really, really difficult time in writing this chapter. I don't know, part of me wants to appease the long time diehards out there, while another part of me wanted to just let the characters have a wild threesome, but the NC-17 is gone, so that can't be. And I kept thinking of Jennifer Garner in the role of Rachel. Well, the thing is, this is a story about love, desperation, and most of all the frailty of humanity, our faults, strengths and weaknesses. God knows that most of you won't like the outcome of this, hell I don't, but this is the outcome that came out from the direction that this story went, and when I was typing, it all just came out, I typed for six fucking straight hours. It wasn't difficult because I couldn't put it into words, it was difficult because of the people I have to please. So, I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry that this had to be this way. Okay, uh, enough of that, here is the last chapter of Remember Heaven.
Serena: Hey, thanks, and by the way, here's the cameo I promised. Changed the original content to snuggle you in. And hey, careful with the sharp objects before you kill a certain Phantom of the Opera admirer you might have stashed there.
Tifa Redfield: Actually, I don't think I can make Rachel a bitch. But Carlos' mom is. (Thieves of Dawn) Thanks for the reviews.
Hotaru: Well, the truth is that I've never set foot in a country where English is the primary language, so I don't really know St. Patricks
Rock Solid: Yeah, I realized that most of everyone feel that way when a dozen people come in here reviewing how much romance they'd emit, then leave the moment they figured out that this story didn't revolve around Leon and Claire. Maybe I'm just sick of fanboys.
Frenchy: Sweetie, if I count the times you mention how this could get interesting, I'd have another thesis done. Hehe, thanks for being there babe. And come on with the story!
Orion: Okay, well, I hope this gets you emotional.
Chapter 10: "Heaven"
"…We…I had a miscarriage. Never been able to actually…" Helena wiped away the tear from her eye, remembering the two children she could have had. Now the one she could call her own was still dangerously adapting to their lifestyle. Sherry wore a pink top and a pair of blue jeans. "…I always promised Aaron a family…and the fact that I was never…God didn't let me have one for my own, and when we found the note saying that…you're here, we just…I thought it was a sign from God. That our wish could come true."
"Oh." Sherry sat in front of her new family, finding it awkward to talk about something she brought up herself. "…But…where were you when…?" she tried to find the right words, but she couldn't. There was no way of asking people where they where when the dead walked the streets, or even after. "It's just that…it was so long…so long before anyone actually showed up." She tried to reason with her feelings, but could only draw a frustrating blank.
"Sherry…I know that it's going to take time for you to adjust here…but, in time, you'll grow to…" Aaron tried to make her feel better, but was cut off by Sherry's sharp glare. "…" He wiped his hands against the sleeve of his blue collared shirt.
"You know…you people are selfish." The girl announced, standing up from the kitchen table. "Just because you can't have a kid of your own doesn't mean that you can take somebody else's." she said, unmindful of the pained expression on Helena's face.
"We have a right to you." Aaron tried to defend.
"A right that you wouldn't have pursued if there wasn't anything wrong with her." She rebutted, pointing a finger at the shocked woman.
"Don't say that!" Aaron rose to his feet, instilling fear into the girl, something that wasn't in his character to do.
Three hard knocks on the door interrupted the discussion. "I'll get it." Sherry volunteered, ignoring her new father's demand that she stay right there. The rushed footsteps echoed off the wooden floors as Aaron slumped back to his chair in defeat. "…She wasn't like this." He uttered under his breath. "…" His gaze shifted to his wife, who was still reeling over the verbal blow that she had just been acquainted to. "…I…I'll go…" without finishing the sentence, Helena stood up and headed for the main lobby to follow the girl. "…Sherry, whose… there?" the last word fell short of a whisper as she stood a short distance away, finding Sherry in Claire's arms. The young woman had her hair down, the first time anyone had seen her that way. She wore a black tank top underneath her pink vest, as well as a pair of dirty jeans.
"Forgot that I was going to visit?" Claire teased the woman, who could only cross her hands over her chest in reply. "That's a nice sweater you have…Helena. I like the color, red."
"…She…missed you." Helena stuttered.
"Yeah, I could tell." Claire responded, winking at Sherry. "You know…Sherry told me all about you."
"She…she did?"
"Uh-huh. And guess what, I'm thinking the same way she does."
"…"
"Try as you may, you can never have a family. You just aren't worth it you, stupid bitch." She said with a sneer, stabbing a spoonful of knives into Helena as she did. Aaron emerged from the kitchen and stood by Helena's side. "…Hey Sherry, guess what?" Claire asked, feeling the need to cut the conversation short. "What?"
"…I'm going to make things better again." She whispered to the little girl. "…What do you mean?"
"Just wait and see." Claire replied, giving her another wink. "Does it have something to do with the dress?" the girl asked. "…" Claire's eyes shifted from Sherry's, then to the couple's. "…Actually, I'm going to change my wardrobe before I get to where I'm going. Won't be proper, you know?"
Rachel stood in front of a large-scale mirror, as Emily and another friend tidied up the folds of her dress. It was her second go, but this time, she was sure that she made the right decision. That's what happens when somebody is in love. You'd be simply sure that whatever you do is the right thing, even though in the eyes of others, it may not be. Love is nonsensical, blind; it could be at fault for any crime. On the other hand, it is strength, it is power, it is life. "This is it. This is going to be different." She closed her eyes, smiling at the notion that in about an hour's time, she would be walking down the aisle with the person she truly, deeply loved. "The dress is perfect." Emily beamed happily as she looked in the mirror beside her best friend.
Pristine white covered the young woman, in a strapless gown that revealed her back if not worn with the headwear. The bust is covered mildly with small, black rhinestone, while the edges clung firmly to her body. The fabric was made of silk. Her hair was tied back tight; with her hair conditioned extra long just to shine like there was no tomorrow. A simple, soft veil sat on top of her head, falling down like a thin layer of transparent hair. The clip was a pair of small, pearl-white wings that could barely be seen at all. "Do you think he'll like it?" Rachel asked, unable to hide her excitement. "I think he might want to just tear this off and do you in the altar."
"Emily!" Rachel laughed out at her friend's idea. "That may not be what Ms. Amy Michelson thinks when she does these things…" Her bridesmaids wore gowns that were incredibly white as well, except theirs were rounded at the bust so that the straps from the line of the bust were tied back behind their necks. They were all remarkably beautiful.
"Yeah right." Emily sarcastically quipped.
"Can you walk in that thing?" her other friend asked, looking at how much the dress showed her form.
"I don't know. Can't wait to find out." She replied, still gazing intently at the mirror. "…"
"Honey, what's wrong? What's with the faraway?" Emily asked, noticing a sudden change in her friend. "…Nothing, I was just thinking of…well, nothing." She said with a feigned laugh, drawing the ire of Emily's eyebrow. "Tell me."
"…What if I can't make him happy?" Rachel asked in a weak voice, turning to face her best friend.
"…Don't think that way, not now." Emily replied. "…"
"...I just…"
"Rachel, come on now…if for some reason that you can't make him happy…then that's his loss."
"…Emily?"
"Yeah?"
"…Thank you, for everything." She whispered, giving her best friend a hug. "…Hey, don't I get a hug and a thank you, too?" her other friend asked, whereas Rachel laughed out loud and had her join their embrace. "Thank you both for being my friends…I feel like the luckiest woman on Earth…"
"Hey now, teary stuff comes later, okay?" her friend reminded, wiping her eye.
"How's about running your vows on us?" Emily asked.
"Okay. So, here goes…"
Leon paced the kitchen, with a few of his friends with him. All of them looked practically the same, decked in high-end suits that were blacker than the night. "Come on man, don't be getting fucked on us." One of them said, referring to his state of panic. "Yeah but, Hank, I'm getting married, it's like, the end of my being a complete asshole." He replied jokingly. "But hell man, we thought this day would never come." His other friend chided. They were both blonde, and in their late twenties, just like Leon was. "…What do you mean by that?"
"Well, it's just that, you know, you've been so caught up with your lost romance when you first came here, we thought it was gonna be you and her." his friend reasoned, drawing a blank nod from Leon.
"What's her name again?"
"…Claire." Leon replied, seeming nervous at the sound of her name even though it was uttered through his own voice.
"Oh yeah. Nice name. Claire." His other friend added.
"I…Rachel Joyce…vow, that…that I will love you forever. In this life, and in the next. I…promise that…I will try my best to make you…us…be happy. And I wanted you to know that…I give you everything. You…I promise that I will give you my heart, my body and my soul, completely. All that is in me…it's yours as well. I trust you with all of who I am."
"…By the way, I heard from Johnson that you went and looked for her." His friend brought up. The subject was still too uncomfortable for Leon, but he found himself irresistibly drawn to the subject. "How'd that go?" he asked.
"Um…I…wasn't able to find her." Leon responded, almost pushing back his hair, but stopped when he remembered that it was gelled back into place.
"You know buddy…if I had a girl like Rachel…then I am going to be perfectly satisfied." His friend said, giving Leon a hint of how much he already had, and a glimpse of what he almost had given up. He recalled every moment with her, how he actually felt her reciprocate the love that he gave, something Claire never did. Not until it was too late at least.
"Leon…you showed me that…this world, it's still worth living in. You made me realize that…even in the moments where it is too dark to see a thing, when I was…when I thought that all of this was a lost cause… that love…that… love could be so bright…it could be bright enough to push away that darkness. I don't just owe you my existence…I owe you my life."
Claire Redfield walked the streets in hurried strides, a deep face of resolve etched in her face. She made a promise that she was going to make things better, for her, for Sherry, and for Leon as well. "We deserve to be happy." She thought over and over again as the cross on top of the Church came into her view. She held her handbag tight with both hands. Claire had her hair tied back to a bun, with small strands falling down her left cheek. The young woman wore a blood red gown, with a body that looked like a corset wrapped tightly around her waist, while the skirt draped down to her ankles, with a slit beside her right knee for her to at least move with a little bit of mobility. "We aren't going to suffer anymore."
"You see Leon…I agree with you. I know what Heaven feels like. It isn't some faraway place, or some nightclub down the street…Heaven can be found anywhere, but it's still pretty hard to find. Some people live their lives never really knowing what Heaven is. I thought that I was doomed to be one of those people…after…after what happened then… never thought that I would know what Heaven is…but…you made me see what it is."
Leon looked outside the kitchen, watching each guest, as if in the back of his mind, he was searching for somebody whom he knew that could never be there. He let out a breath of air and snuck back into the kitchen, leaning on the wall. "By the way, what kind of a Church has a kitchen, anyway?" his friend asked, looking around. "A relatively expensive one." Leon replied, resuming his pace. "What's in your mind, oh boyband look-a-like-one?" he was asked, a question that he really didn't know how to answer. "I don't know…feels like…a loose end." He responded weakly, raising his friends' curiosity, but both of them decided not to advance with anymore questioning.
He felt like his heart could burst in any second as he paced the room. "Hey come on Leon, if you were wearing spiked, the floor would be bubbling with primordial lava right now." His friend called, synonymous for asking Leon to calm down. "You know, guys…" Leon started, leaning on the sink with his elbows and facing his two friends. "…What if I screw up over there? What if I trip or I…burp, or I grow a third limb and start eating bugs?" he asked, clearly in panic. "You'll be fine." They both responded, almost at the same time. "…What if I'm in love with some other girl too?" he then asked weakly. "Jesus Christ man, it's your wedding. With a really, really hot, smart girl, who spends her weekends helping Habitat build houses for homeless people. They don't come better than that!" his friend urged, grabbing Leon by the shoulders as if trying to shake some sense into him.
"Yeah…but…"
"If you say that you like your girls dangerous, then I am kicking your ass to the next county."
"…"
"Come on bro, we heard the stories countless times. You helped each other go through a nightmare, you disappear, she disappears, you come back, she does too, and you wacky kids don't do a thing but skulk and go all Dawson's fucking creek. How the hell do you find love in a situation like that? Are you even sure that it's love?"
"…I…don't…know."
"Well I do. What you saw, that wasn't love, that was respect, that was some infatuation born out of being the only living being you were with in the city… Leon, the perfect girl is going to walk up that aisle, and it is you she's looking for, not rugged and handsome me, not dashing and sensitive Mel over here. It's you, and you have no idea what you could throw away if you're still thinking about Claire when the time comes to say those two words."
"…"
"Are you getting me, man?"
"…Yeah…I am."
"Leon…Heaven…it's spending the rest of my days, with each waking moment beside you…it's a state of…perfect happiness, and it is what I feel with you. Heaven is…drinking hot chocolate in front of the fireplace with you when Christmas comes…or…or watching fireworks with you when the New Year rolls in. It could be just…staring into your eyes whenever, in a rainy day, or if it's sunny. Heaven…it's you. I remember Heaven… when I remember you. I love you, Leon Kennedy. I love you, with all my heart."
Rachel let out a breath of air. "So…what do you guys think?" she asked, her heart still pounding from reciting her vows. "Wow…can I use that for my wedding?" Emily asked, making them all break out in laughter. "Maybe…but you have to pay me, and there would not be any change in the text, names included." Rachel responded jokingly, walking down the pedestal and sitting in the middle of the pink couch with her two friends. "…I almost expected to hear a rip." Her friend joked, referring to Rachel's fitted gown.
"It's cold enough as it is, thank you Serena."
"Oh it is my pleasure."
Three soft knocks interrupted the three girls. "Who…?" before anyone could answer the door, the knob slowly turned, and in walked a young woman with light brown hair and a deep, red gown. "…Nice dress." Claire immediately greeted as she laid her eyes on the bride to be. All the three girls stood up, practically in unison. "…Claire…you made it." Rachel said, unsure of what her sudden intrusion meant. "…I guess I did." The girl replied, turning and looking at herself in the mirror.
"Uh, Emily, Serena, can we have a moment alone, please?" Rachel asked, with the two hesitant to comply. "…Come on, guys." The bride urged. "…We'll check on the guests." Anne suggested, tugging at Emily's arm.
"Nice friends you have there." Claire commented.
"Yeah. Hey, I'm glad you could make it. That's a beautiful gown you have on."
"…It's my only one." Claire responded softly, her boundaries blurred by the lights that came from the window behind her. "…Uh, did you bring anyone along with you?" Rachel asked, feeling something wrong in the air.
"…No…I didn't. But I guess I have you to thank for that, don't I?" Claire replied, this time, she had a firmer tone, unlike when she entered. "…What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? Don't be dense Rachel, you know what I mean."
"But…didn't we…you said…that night…"
"Yeah, I guess I did. I tried to be humane…but…you know what I learned about life? You can never be happy if you don't seize the moment. Carpe Diem or something like that."
"…Claire…"
"I tried to play the martyr….I really did."
"…"
"You know…back in our days, when he and I fought…you know, before he left…everyone always said that…we should be together. You know? There wasn't anyone else in the picture. Him and me."
"…Claire…"
"Does it look like I'm through talking?"
"…"
"Good. You see, the thing is…well, you're a good person, and I hate to have to break this to you…but you, you're just… convenience. Leon doesn't love you, because if he did, he wouldn't have come back for me. It's all so clear now. He loves me. You were just something to fill in the time." Rachel took a deep breath and slapped Claire as hard as she could. "…How dare you come in here and talk like that…" Before she could finish, Claire opened her purse and took out her gun.
Leon, still in the kitchen with his two friends, rested his head on his elbow as he sat down in silence. A loud burst suddenly made him jump straight up. In an instant, hysteria enveloped the Church as he exited the kitchen and pushed his way through the guests, tracing the sound of the gunshot. "Jesus Christ." He thought inside as he heard women screaming inside one of the corridors. His heart pounded harder and harder as he ran as fast as he could to the room where Rachel was.
"Emily! Serena!" he called, as he distinctly recognized the voices. "Oh God, I don't hear Rachel…" he suddenly thought, with enough dread to fill Normandy entering his soul. "Leon!" Emily shouted, although incoherent in between her tears. Serena was by the door, using it as support. Like Emily, she too was beyond lucidity. "What happened!? What…?" he entered the room, finding Rachel's body lifeless on the floor.
Blood poured down from a wound right through her neck, making a puddle form in the floor. Her eyes were still wide open, with the expression of muted shock etched on her face, as if it were an epitaph. "Oh my God." Leon uttered under his panting. "Rachel?" he asked weakly, as he rushed by her side. "Rachel…wake up, baby wake up…" he urged, cradling the body in his arms. "Rachel please…" he called desperately, until Rachel's own family caught sight of the body, and they themselves were plunged into the deepest sorrow. They all ran to her body, screaming for her to wake up, and Leon could only let out gasps of air in his shock. Now she can never tell him her vows.
The sky wept heavily as the body bag was finally zipped with a sickening sound as Rachel's body was put into the back of the ambulance. Her mother and father didn't let go of the body until it the doors were finally closed, and both of them, as well as their closest friends and relatives, all broke down in tears right in the middle of the street, drawing the attention of every passerby in Manhattan. Drenched, beaten, they didn't mind the stares, the thought didn't even cross their minds.
Leon stood by the Church doors, unmindful of the blood that was stained over his clothing. He looked at both of his palms, with rainwater and dark red mixing like a sick artist's dream. All his life, he was surrounded by death, by the suffering of others. It meant seeing the raped bodies of children, battered women and eviscerated men. His hands were always drenched in blood. Like it was with Ada, now it was with another woman that he loved deeply. Trembling, he walked back inside the Church, just the way he and Rachel envisioned it to be. White roses, strewn petals, a red carpet. His eyes traveled up the aisle then up to the gigantic cross hanging from the ceiling.
He kept in the shadow, falling back against the wall to a sitting position, a few inches to the right of where he just entered, and began to cry. It wasn't the tears of a person that came down his cheeks, they were the tears of a child, the wild gasps, the little squeals, the loud cries, intertwined, unthinking. For him, heaven just turned straight to hell.
"Leon…" his friend, Mel, came to his side slowly, carefully. "Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry man." He said softly, sitting by him and wrapping him in an embrace, in which Leon openly accepted, something he didn't always do. It was painful having a friend cry through your clothing, especially if you have no way at all of doing anything about it. It wasn't just about the loss, it was about the helplessness that came along with it. "She's gone…" Leon whimpered through his tears.
"Uh…hey…I…don't know how to tell you this…man…Christ. I…talked with Serena…or at least tried to…the last person that…that came into the room…man, Leon it was Claire."
"…What…?" Leon raised his face, still unable to stop his outbreak of tears. Like the others, he was barely coherent in his words. "It might have been Claire that shot Rachel."
"There's no… fucking way." Leon responded through gritted teeth.
"Come on man…" his friend tried to reason, realizing it was a really bad time to tell him what he just found out. "There's no fucking way!" Leon screamed, lost amidst the tears of the people within and outside the Church walls. "I know her…she wouldn't do that, she couldn't."
"…I'm sorry." His friend whispered, letting Leon continue to mourn.
The powerful rain didn't stop Leon from walking straight home, ignoring the curious glimpses of the people around him. His mind, his face, his soul, all of them drew blanks. He soon found himself by the swings, still in a trance, just like he was when he and Rachel had their first, real fight. Grief-stricken as he was, he couldn't bear to shed another tear, he was too tired, tabula rasa. "…You followed me all the way here…" he softly said, knowing that Claire was just a few feet behind him.
"…Nice place…" she replied, standing motionless.
"…Did you… do it? Where… you the one who…"
"Yeah. I did." She replied, almost in a heartbeat.
"Why?" he asked, this time giving way to the anger that came from his voice.
"Because it's what everyone wants…Sherry…me…you…we have fans."
"What!?" Leon jumped to his feet and faced Claire. "What gives you the fucking right to kill somebody!? Somebody I love!! Somebody I was about to marry!!" he cried, walking straight up to Claire. "Well, you should thank me, I just saved you the embarrassment of saying my name in the altar, now, didn't I?" the girl snapped back. Without any hesitation, Leon punched Claire across the face, sending her down to the muddy ground. "Don't you ever say that." He threatened through gritted teeth.
"…Leon…do you know why I always carry this gun?" she asked, taking out the pistol from her purse. "I never let this go, because it was the only answer I had back in Raccoon city, and now, now, I'm in real life and I thought that these problems, bills, loans, jobs, they couldn't be helped by just pulling a trigger and blowing it away, did you know that? You…you promised me… that you'd give me a reason not to use this thing anymore!!" she cried, getting up to her feet and pointing at him. "You promised me that you'd love me!!!" she screamed. "That you'd help me…" Leon's mind flashed back to just after she returned from the Antarctic base with her brother. He wanted to be there for her, but she never let him. In her sleep, he would tell him that her that he loved her with all his heart, but it was only met with silence, even if the girl was only pretending to be asleep.
"You didn't want to be helped! You didn't want to be loved, why? Because all you ever thought about was Steve Burnside, and now that I had somebody else, you take her away, just like they did him!" he rebutted, unmindful, uncaring of the pistol trained at his heart. "…I…I was afraid that I would lose you like I did him." Claire responded weakly. "Oh, great, well that's just too bad Claire, because guess what, you already did. You already lost me…ruined my life by killing the only one that made enough fucking sense around here!"
Leon screamed at her in complete rage, putting her in silence. "But you love me…"
"And that is the only reason why I'm not shooting you myself!!!"
"Leon…" she tried to object, but couldn't find the words. It was a rarity for a woman of her strength to be at a loss for words.
"Go, get the hell away from me before I do something I regret." He ordered menacingly, turning away and sitting back down on the swings. Claire lowered her head and began to walk away. "But I deserve to be happy…with you…you can't stop it Leon, you'll come back to me, I know it. I just know it. We were meant to be, everyone knows that."
Leon looked off into the distance, holding in his heart the truth of Claire's words. It was a twisted reality, a sick aria that enveloped him as he stared off into the distance. He didn't want to think anymore, he was sick of it. All he wanted to do now was remember the simple moments of pure joy that he could never feel again. Remember Heaven.
The End
Author's note: You know, when I was revamping the park scene, I was listening to Duncan Sheik's half-life and I was thinking, hey, this would look good for a fade in to "The End" part. I intentionally didn't put in any other survivor in the wedding so I could highlight the distance between them. So, there, the underlying humanity is a sick, sad one. Subverted thinking and romance. Well, I hope that I got you through an emotional roller coaster with this one. Again, thanks to everybody who reviewed, even though most were monosyllabic and I think forced. But hey, I'm not complaining. Till next time dudes and dudettes.