DISCLAIMERS!!! -- YOU MUST READ THESE FIRST

Title: Jack B. Badd Part Nine: Hands to Heaven
Author: Daryn
Fandom: Pitch Black
Pairing: Jack/Riddick
Rating: R for a few curse words and adult shit
Email: daryn@jackisaboy.zzn.com
Series/Sequel: This is part nine in the saga of Jack
Web Page:
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life.
Summary: Jack narrates, in retrospect, the shocking and brilliantly written conclusion to his and Riddick's tropical vacation.
I fell out of bed the next morning. I wasn't used to sleeping on a freestanding bed (I had a bunk on the ship that was nailed to the floor). I lay there quietly for a minute and then spent five minutes furiously rolling around and untangling myself from my blankets.

Finally I stood up and looked around sleepily. I rubbed my eyes and looked out the window. The sun was rising. I stretched and began to get dressed.

My swim shorts were cold and clammy. I shivered as I pulled my door open.

And I came face to face with a woman I had never seen before as she stepped out of the bathroom.

We stared at each other for a minute. Then my gaze wandered toward Riddick's door. It was open. I looked back at the woman.

"Good morning," she said. I have no idea what she must have been thinking or feeling. I was just flabbergasted. I had no idea how to process this information.

Of course it didn't help me much when, a moment later, another stranger walked out of Riddick's room. A man. He stopped just outside the doorway and stared at us. I stared at him, at the woman, at himÉ

Then I very slowly stepped around the woman, into the bathroom, and I shut the door and locked it. I stood with my back to the door. I thought that I might cry. I gulped and looked over at my reflection in the mirror.

Then it began. Slowly I felt a smile begin to break across my face. Then I began to laugh quietly. And I laughed harder. I laughed and laughed. It was all so funny. There I had been, worrying about a girl, worrying about Riddick, and the whole time he had been having a good time with the best of both worlds.

Riddick. The man who never betrayed an emotion had just been caught in the middle of a hell of a morning-after. He had been caught. By me.

The laughter eventually subsided and I wiped my eyes. My stomach hurt and I knew that I was hungry. I washed my face and then braced myself to open the door.

I was so wrapped up in my own head that I walked right into Riddick. He must have been standing just outside the door.

"Sorry," I mumbled automatically. Then I looked him in the eye and the smile came back. I almost started laughing again. I bit my lip and tried hard to control it.

"Good morning Riddick."

Shaking my head, I stepped around him into my room. I picked up my towel and shook my head. I turned back toward the bathroom to get one of the towels from there. I saw the woman and man sitting on the porch and drinking coffee.

Riddick was still standing in the middle of the front room, watching me. I stepped past him into the bathroom. I chose one of the bigger towels and walked out again.

I tossed the towel on a chair and poured myself a cup of coffee. As I drowned it with sugar and cream Riddick cleared his throat.

"What do you want to do today?"

I glanced up at him. "ActuallyÉ I made plans."

He raised an eyebrow. "Hot date?"

I bit my lip again. "Not like you had last night." I looked very pointedly out the front door to the people sitting on the porch. I winked at Riddick. His face was stone. Stone and ice.

I stared into his goggles and sipped my "coffee". He turned to the window and lowered his head for a minute.

When he raised his head again he spoke in a low whisper, "If youÉ get into any troubleÉ Just let me know. You know that, right?"

Nice of you to care now, I thought. But then I let the anger go. I knew that Riddick had every right to kill me after my thoughtless comment. He had probably skinned people alive for lesser offenses.

I felt sick and disgusted with myself.

I gazed down into my cup. I opened my mouth, ready to apologize. Then I heard the people on the porch laugh loudly and I got angry again.

"Yeah right," I spat my retort at Riddick's back.

Within a minute I had thrown my cup on the floor and was running out the door and down the beach. I didn't stop until I was walking under a stand of trees, far from everyone else on the beach.

I slowed down to catch my breath. Tears were streaming down my face and I was sobbing so hard that I thought my chest would burst.

Even looking back on it now I can't say why I reacted like that. It didn't make sense and it hasn't made sense since. When I finally calmed down I found a restroom and washed my face again.

Then I slowly made my way to meet Nora.

I could feel an ache somewhere inside me. I wanted to just sit and cry for hours. I didn't know what I wanted Ð I mean what I really wanted. There's no better way to describe that feeling.

Instead of crying, though, I spent a fantastic day with Nora. I remember everything we did and said, none of which seems interesting or important now of course.

Sunset found us sitting on the beach together, talking.

At one point the conversation lulled and Nora rook my hand. She looked down the beach as she said, "I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I forgot."

I nodded. It made me sad, butÉ well, I was used to people coming and going at the drop of a hat.

"I want to kiss you before I leave."

Her words caught me off-guard and I froze.

"Nothing more though," she said sternly, looking me in the eye. I nodded, my eyes widening as she leaned toward me.

In that split second I lived a lifetime of worry over my first kiss Ð what do I do, where does my tongue go, etc. But I didn't need to worry. It was short, sweet and not embarrassingly bad at all.

Of course we shyly avoided each other's eyes after that and during the walk back to her hotel. We said our goodnights and goodbyes. We hugged each other tightly and then I watched her disappear again.

And that was that. I never saw her again.

And you're probably thinking 'All that build up for nothing!' and that's just what I felt. A big well of disappointment, mingled with relief.

I was afraid to go back to the cabin. I found the office house and got some blankets. I spent the night on the beach.

My primary fear at that point was: if Riddick hadn't planned on leaving me before this, surely after my outburst he wouldn't hesitate to ditch me.

The other nagging thought that I tried to fight down as I dozed off was: what would I say to Riddick if I ever saw him again?

That night I dreamed. In my dream I was in a cabin on the beach. Nora was there and we were watching the water when suddenly the waves got so high that they carried the cabin away.

But it was fine because the water was warm and we could float. I saw Shazza floating a ways off and I waved to her. She waved back and floated away.

Then Nora asked me where Riddick was and I began to look for him but then I began to sink. Nora tried to pull me up but I was falling and drowningÉ

I woke up, gasping for breath. I was in my bed in the cabin.

And I was covered in sand.

I groaned and rolled out of bed. I saw the blankets from the night before discarded on a chair. I brushed the sand off of my clothes, straightened them as best I could and walked slowly to my door.

I opened it cautiously and took a deep breath as I stepped out.

Riddick's door was closed.

I let out a deep sigh of relief and marched into the bathroom. I took a long hot shower while I tried to think of how I would handle whatever was coming next. I had an idea of a few different ways that Riddick could respond to what I had done.

But with Riddick there was no way to know.

After running through half an infinity of possibilities, I gave up and decided to play it by ear. As I dried myself off I inspected my body.

I had hair on my tummy. It was fun to play with.

My clitoris had grown quite a bit too. I looked at my face. My hair was still so short. And it didn't grow fast.

I sighed, fogging up the part of the mirror that I had just wiped off.

Hey Jack.
What're you doing?
I don't know.
Riddick's probably mad at you.
I know.
He's never really been mad at you before, has he?
I guess not.
Well, if it's over now at least it was fun while it lasted.
Sure.
I know you'll cry if he leaves you now.
No answer.
No answer.

No answer except to get out there and see it through. The thing must run its course.

I put on some clean underwear and my robe. I stepped out of the bathroom and came face to face with Riddick. On any other day I would have teased him about how he always seemed to be waiting right outside the bathroom door.

He turned and walked into his room. I followed him.

He sat on the bed and looked at me. I couldn't meet his gaze. And I couldn't look up without thinking about those strangers and what Riddick might have been doing with them in this very room.

"Tell me what happened, Jack."

I swallowed. My throat was dry. I was so ashamed of myself.

"I'm sorry," I croaked. I licked my lips.

"IÉ I shouldn't have acted like that, Riddick. IÉ there's no excuse for it. I acted like a stupid kid and you really didn't deserve that. And I'm sorry I didn't come back last night. I was afraidÉ I was scared. And seeÉ" I swallowed, "Cuz there was this girl and I really liked her and I gotÉ well, I'm still so confused about thatÉ andÉ"

I looked up. "I'm sorry Riddick. I won't do anything like that again. IÉ I love you."

The last words shocked me and I stopped talking. It's true, I realized. I don't know what kind of love this is or why I love him really butÉ I love him. I hope it was OK to tell him that, I thought nervously.

Riddick's face was a mask. I was about to die from the stress of not knowing how he was going to respond when he reached out his hand and said, "Come here."

I fell into his arms and we sat there hugging each other for a long time. Riddick pulled away first and held me by the shoulders as he looked me in the eyes.

"I thought I'd really fucked up back there," he said, "I was really worried."

"It's my fault. ButÉ I guess it's good to have a little fight once in a while."

"Oh no," Riddick chuckled, "Let's get all the little fights for the next year all in on this one and save ourselves the trouble."

It hadn't escaped me. "The next yearÉ SoÉ you're notÉ" I didn't know how to finish my question.

He looked down then slowly met my gaze. "I thought about it. I won't kid you there. But you knew that when you decided to come with me. You knew I might leave you somewhere. But not now. I'll promise you that. Not now."

I grinned. I knew that was more than I had ever had to count on before.

"So are you going to start wearing that aftershave I bought you and stop leaving your toothbrush in the sink?"

"Well," he said, mocking thoughtfulness, "I think I can handle the toothbrush but I would rather be tortured to death with a rice noodle than use that aftershave."

We smiled at each other. "Yeah, me too," I agreed.

"Come on, let's go get something to eat before I starve to death."

We found a nice place in a nearby plaza. While we ate I thought I'd risk asking: "SoÉ Did you doÉ anything interesting over the past two days?" I used the most neutral voice that I could muster.

A smirk stole across his face. "Nothin' legal."

"You serious?"

"Only half serious," he turned back to his food. "Better you don't know about it anyway."

"Oh."

"So," Riddick began as our dessert arrived, "About this girlÉ"

I smirked back at him, "What about her?"

He just raised an eyebrow.

"Ok," I relented. "Her name was Nora."

"Was?"

"Well, she left today."

"I see."

"AnywayÉ I'd never really been into a girl before, but she was soÉ I don't know. She was so beautiful and notÉ you knowÉ frivolous like her friends. They were fun and all but she wasÉ different." I diligently stirred my ice cream into mush.

"So I've beenÉ confused. Because I thoughtÉ well, you know, what if I was just aÉ lesbian? Or what if I'm straight? Would a girl want to be with me? Stuff like that."

I shrugged and sighed melodramatically. I paused to eat my dessert.

Riddick was scraping his bowl. That always amused me. His favorite treat was ice cream. He loved that shit so much.

Between bites he put in: "Whoever you like, you're still you. Still Jack. Don't worry about naming it."

He returned his attention to the bowl.

"YeahÉ" I grinned.

The last days of our vacation were better than the first ones. I can't remember the exact details of everything that happened though. I always get mixed up trying to remember what we did on what day.

But, like always, I was thinking.

I knew that a line had been crossed. Riddick and I were closer than before butÉ we were more careful around each other. More guarded.

At last the day came when we boarded the transport back to the docking station. It had only been a week since we'd parked the old ship there but to me it felt like ten lifetimes had passed.

I was quiet during the entire trip back to our ship. I was thinking about the pills that I had been taking for a year. If I had the surgery to remove my girl parts then I wouldn't have to take them as often.

By the time we were aboard I had reached a decision.

When we had finished the routine check up to make sure everything was still working correctly, Riddick punched in our destination and off we went.

I cleared my throat. "Riddick, I want to talk to you aboutÉ"

"No." He said it forcefully. He turned to face me. He had his goggles on and he was frowning.

"I have to talk to you." He didn't move as he talked. I couldn't meet his gaze so I stared at my feet.

"I was going to leave you," he growled, "I was going to let you just make your own way from there. It's not nice is it? No. Because I'm not a nice person. I'm not. And you know I could leave you anytime. Anywhere. And I will someday."

I took a deep breath and waited for a minute. I figured he was done. Here goes, I thought.

"I know," I said, sounding braver than I felt. I raised my eyes to meet his. "I know. And I'm still here."

We stood facing each other for another thirty seconds or so. When Riddick spoke again his tone was softer, "What were you going to say before?"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I want surgery. I need my girl parts out before they get infected or something."

Riddick broke eye contact and nodded.

"I'll see what I can do."

I nodded. "I'm going to bed now."

I paused in the doorway and turned.

"I love you Riddick," I said simply, "but you can be so irritating."

I winked at him, grinned wickedly, pivoted on my heel and walked away.