Heh, this was probably the best (and funniest) chapters I've written so far! ^^ Enjoy!
It was around nine A.M. at Squee's house when Sam had barged in through the front door, not even bothering to knock or announce her presence.
With a face of determination, she marched up the stairs into Squee's room, who was currently sleeping, tossing and turning, holding onto his pillow tightly. "Awaken, sleeping beauty!" she then forcibly pressed her lips to his, who awoke rather stunned.
Squee looked at her as if she were crazy…well, crazi-er. "Don't worry, she did the same thing to me," came a familiar voice and he rubbed his eyes to see Pepito, draped over Sam's shoulders as if he were a scarf, a dreamy expression on his face.
Sam rolled her eyes and turned around, depositing him onto the bed, then turned to face the two. "I thought I already told you this morning that—" "I know, I know," Pepito cut her off, waving his hand indifferently at her.
"Tell you what?" Squee interjected, yawning and scratching his left arm. Pepito opened his mouth to say something, but Sam clamped a hand over his mouth. "Do you promise not to freak out?" Squee nodded reluctantly slightly confused.
"Okay, I'm going to say it indirectly," she looked around the room, "I have a girlfriend down where my dad lives." It took a few seconds before her words sunk in and Squee's eyes widened slightly, but then smiled.
"It's okay. Les--- um, people like you don't bother me." Sam let out a tremendously relieved sigh. "Oh thank goodness! But I'm just experimenting," she hugged them both, then went back into serious-mode. "Okay, we need to devise a plan to get Johnny out of prison, and Mistress Mayhem in."
Wha…?" the boys drawled rather stupidly, but Sam didn't mind explaining it to them. "Johnny was framed by an evil villain named Mistress Mayhem. And when there's an evil villain, you need a superhero. A superhero like—" "Nurse Inane!" the trio chorused.
"But we have to hurry! I'm leaving tomorrow!" Sam squeaked, causing the two boys to gasp, but she shot a dramatic pose and pointed randomly, then bellowed gruffly "Now—to that café!"
Squee held onto Pepito, shaking uncontrollably as they raced to the coffee shop on Kill-O-Rama Rd. They were using Sam's bike again, telling them that she would meet them there.
When they finally arrived, they chained the bike to a nearby post, then strolled inside. The floor was black and white checkered tiling, and the place was littered in small round tables, each having at least two tiny chairs cluttered around and various ferns hanging from the ceiling.
Many beatniks and Goth's were there as well, drinking their cappuccino and chatting casually, all wearing black clothing. The two sat down at a table, both looking around to see if Sam was there. "We can't sell coffee to kids!" a man yelled, causing everyone's attention to focus on the right side of the shop.
A girl with flaming red hair was at the counter, her hands on it and feet off the floor, shouting in the clerk's face, "I'm not a kid!! I'm only like--- two years younger than you are!" the gothic clerk, with dark blue spiky hair and white makeup on his face, snapped back, "Big deal! I don't drink coffee and neither should you!"
Sam was getting visibly irritated, but before she knew it her face hit the floor, as a woman shoved her out of the way.
The woman was tall and shapely, though a long black trench coat was wrapped around her, her wavy blonde hair tumbling down her back. The three teens recognized her instantly. She was the woman they ran into the other day, the one that knocked Squee into the wall and scraping his face up.
Sam growled and lunged at her, but her friends held her back, which was quite hard considering that she was pretty strong. "Don't do it Sam!" Squee pleaded as he tried to push her back, his shoes starting to squeak against the floor as he was the one getting pushed back.
"We don't want to attract any more unwanted attention!" Pepito added, pulling her back, "We're on a mission, remember?" Sam stopped in realization and sidestepped, causing the two boys to crash into each other.
"Yeah, you're right. Sorry guys," she went over to a table and sat down, the boys joining her. She glared daggers at the woman as she glided over to a table and drank her coffee, pulling out a book and skimming through the pages.
"I'll be right back guys, k?" she got up, then went into the bathroom. Squee and Pepito were confused by her curt exit, but shrugged it off and tried to have a conversation, talking about miscellaneous things, such as school and wrestling.
Growing bored all too quickly; Pepito glanced over at the blonde, who was fumbling through her coat, trying to find something that was lost in one of its many pockets. When she finally found what she was looking for, she stood up.
The raised the object above her head and fired at the ceiling, several bullet shells clinking onto the ground. Everyone started to scream and they hid under their tables. "Alright, nobody move!" she ordered, firing once more to let the people know she was serious.
Stalking up to the counter, she jumped over it and pressed a few keys on the cash register. It opened and she grinned menacingly, stuffing the money into her pockets greedily. Just as she was about to leave, someone called out, "Not so fast, vile fiend!"
She turned her head to see the infamous Nurse Inane, standing ten feet away from her in a fighting stance, her goggles gleaming in the light and an enormous grin on her face, making her look like a cartoon, or a comic book character.
"Who, or what, the hell are you supposed to be?" "I am the iron fist of justice, using my powers to protect the unprotected, and shattering the glass jaw, that is evil!" the superhero spouted confidently, despite how corny her words were.
"But who I am is of no importance! You however, are the purpose of me being here! I know who you really are!" the woman just smirked and reached into her coat. "Yes, yes, and I know who you are. But you won't live long enough to squeal!"
She pulled out a grenade and chucked it at her, but Inane caught it and ran into the bathroom, flushing it down the toilet, then confronted Mistress Mayhem once again just as a huge explosion erupted from behind her.
As water started to gush out onto the floor, the superhero started to tap her foot on the floor as she tried to stare down her adversary. No one understood why she was doing it, but Pepito carefully listened, realizing it was Morse code, and mentally wrote it out.
'Get…the people…out while I…deal with…this…bitc—' his brain stopped there, then whispered the order into Squee's ear and he nodded. He opened the door and motioned the people out; they obeyed and crawled out from under the tables, quietly exited the place.
As the last of them left, Mayhem found out that everyone had gone. "You stinking punks!!" she was about to shoot the poor guys, but our hero lunged at her arm, successfully grabbing the gun and knocking her down.
Taking out the bullets and throwing them over the counter, she threw the gun to Squee and commanded, "Get rid of it!" just as the dazed woman picked herself off the ground. Freaking out, the panicky teen ran into the bathroom and flushed the gun.
Inane and Mayhem then started to duke it out. The woman threw a punch, but the young teen sidestepped and punched her in the stomach, then uppercut her in the jaw, but received a high-heel in the chest.
Though having the wind knocked out of her she continued to fight, while trying to get some answers out of the woman. "So, why did you frame Johnny?" she asked, ducking a punch and a kick. Mistress sneered and replied, "Why should I tell you?!"
"Lets' say it would be my final request?" the woman smirked at the girl as she tried to look her in the eye, but her goggles wouldn't allow it.
"I did it because he would always get the people that I've been trying to kill! He was always one step ahead of me!" her attacks grew more and more fierce as she began to get angry, though the masked girl was way too quick.
"So then I thought, 'hey, if he's not around, then I can get all the revenge I want!' I've tried numerous times to murder him, but it's as if he's being protected by some supernatural force or something!" It was the hero's turn to smirk now.
She thought that, maybe since her guardian angel knows Johnny, then maybe she's watching over him too! She smiled to herself as her opponent continued her story. "But then I thought, 'why not frame him?' So then I did!"
Mayhem then started to do a poor excuse for an evil madman laugh, though she sounded more like a mouse screaming its lungs out. Taking advantage of the villains' state of obliviousness, our hero took a flying leap at her, causing them both to crash to the damp floor.
She repeatedly smacked the older woman across the face, but a fist came flying out of nowhere and hit Inane square in the nose, knocking her off, then stood up and pulled out another gun, aiming it at the girl kneeling on the floor.
But just when she about to pull the trigger, whoosh! Despite a bloody nose, the Nurse sweep kicked her, then whipped out her yo-yo and wrapped the string around it firearm and ripped it out of her hands and flung it across the room, where Pepito caught, then got rid if it, by again, flushing it down the toilet.
While the two women continued to fight each other in hand-to-hand combat, both dodging and ducking one another's attacks, neither of them landing a hit, the oddball hero grabbed a bottle of who knows what from her utility belt and dropped it on the floor, the contents pouring out.
She repeated this several more times, each time purposely dropping them on the ground. What was she doing? She got one more bottle, then whacked Mayhem with her rubber chicken, which made a squeaking noise when it hit, and then sprayed the contents of the bottle onto her.
"Oh, yuck! What is this crap?" she yelled irritably, desperately trying to wipe the liquid substance off of her trench coat. "That's for me to know and you to find out!" Inane then stepped back to where she was against the glass of the front door, taking out a small green lighter.
"Oh please! What are you going to do with that? Burn my little finger?" Mistress cackled as our hero motioned for the boys to stand close to her, grinning confidently and taking out a bottle of hairspray. "No, I was thinking about burning your little face!!"
She flicked the lighter on and sprayed the hairspray onto it and towards the evil blonde, creating a makeshift blowtorch! The liquid that Nurse Inane had poured on the ground and on Mistress Mayhem, was actually gas, which instantly ignited.
The three teens dashed out and got at least a block away before the tiny café then exploded, rocking the whole city as it rumbled through the quiet streets, slowly dying down. Ducking into an alley, Nurse Inane was once again our loveable little Sam.
"Wow, what a hoot and a half that was!" the intoned breathlessly. "But wait…how come the place exploded if all you used was gas?" she blinked at Squee, but then smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess she had explosives in her pockets. When exposed to heat, they tend to…well, explode!"
They all had a good laugh over it, saying that killing or imprisoning an evil villain was checked off Sam's To Do List, but she noticed that the sun was rapidly setting and took out a watch. "Oh my gosh! It's nearly six o' clock! We gotta get Johnny out of jail before tomorrow!"
Pepito: Man, those guys at the café are gonna have some pretty clogged up toilets!
Sam: Hehe, running gag.
Trippy: Well, Mistress Mayhem is no more! But wait, they still have to get Johnny out of prison! But how? Find out, in the next chapter!
Sam: Yeah! And be nice or she won't write it!