Sorreh I took so long! Writers block . . . or homework, whatever you will
XD. Anyway, I don't own any of the GS fellaship, nor the maps with yellow
arches. And what I says goes! * Gets beaten to death with Shaman's Rod *
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The Secret Diary Of Ivan
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Day 1
I just KNEW I shouldn't have bet the Shaman's Rod and all my clothes in that poker game.
Day 2
Master Hammet sent me out of the caravan to buy some boot wax. But when I came back, everyone had left. They must have forgotten I was here. . .
Day 4
So boring in this town. No pubs either.
Day 5
Met some rather strange individuals in the hotel. One of them had some very disturbing thoughts about chickens and socks, whilst the other was just disturbing in that he wanted to wring my neck. Seemed to read out of their minds that they're warriors, so asked if they could get the Shaman's Rod back.
Took something drastic to persuade them. Gonna be sore for a month.
Day 6
They found it! Goodygoodygoodygoody . . . Isaac not that bad. Garet an asswipe though. May go to Lunpa to find Master Hammet, he's still got my sparkly hair gel.
Day 10
Got all the way to Lunpa to find out they don't let anyone in. Honestly, what's the point of a town when you can't get into it? Even the Shaman's Rod wouldn't move the guards. Although, the one on the left seemed quite keen on it for a while.
Day 11
Grumble. Isaac and Garet caught up with me again. Isaac's cloak looked a little burnt, wonder how that happened. Told them I didn't need any help. Not entirely true, but like I'm going to tell them THAT! Garet would probably jump for joy.
Day 13
Resolve failed. Joined Isaac and Garet for moral support.
Day 14
Day was going quite nicely till Garet set me on fire. Terrible burn marks in places I'd rather not think about. Will get revenge.
Day 17
Strange paralyzing sparkles around here. Manages to flip Garet into awkward position just before they froze him. Most amusing.
Day 20
The world according to Garet: everything that can be burned, should be burned.
Day 26
Isaac going on and on about "righteous virtue of mission" and "saviour of humanity". Am quite sure he doesn't mean Garet and me. He's so far up himself he can probably see out the other side.
Day 27
Rare cooperation with Garet to "accidentally" push Isaac into freezing river. May not stop laughing for hours.
Day 29
Imil nice town. Bit frigid though, kinda like the people. REALLY annoying healer girl. That cannot be her natural hair colour. Tried to mind-read her, but couldn't. Her mind was just . . . empty.
Day 32
In Mercury Lighthouse. Nothing light about it, dreary as hell in here. Needs some windows, maybe some lace curtains . . . those statues HAVE to go. Am I the only one in Angara with fashion sense?
Day 33
Yes, I am.
Day 34
Found some nasty people on the top of the lighthouse. Most HORRENDOUS clothes I have ever seen. Almost fainted. That girl they kidnapped is a looker though . . . Garet thinks so too. Perhaps he'll express his love by setting her on fire?
Day 37
Beat those fashion rejects. Turns out they want to destroy world. Like that'll happen, with clothes like theirs.
Heading off again. Isaac may be making mistake by following Mia's peculiar map marked with yellow arches. Never seen things like that.
Day 42
Trekking is hell on my complexion. Am enduring ridicule from Garet about using moisturizer. I'm not getting any younger, after all.
Day 46
Lama Temple most disturbing. How people can sit around all day with their eyes closed is a mystery. No yellow arches. Mia upset for some reason. Then again, she's ALWAYS upset about something.
Day 48
FAR too hot in this desert. Must take off some clothes.
Day 53
Becoming bored. Have taken to pelting Isaac with rocks in the dark. Useless git. One cannot be a leader if they don't actually lead something once in a while.
Day 55
Isaac so petty. Went and destroyed some lizards minding their own business just because "they looked evil."
Day 57
It's been three days since Garet set me on fire. Must be a record.
Day 59
Made it to Kalay (at last). Had just gotten in the front door of the castle when realized I had to tell Lady Layana about Master Hammet. Had massive nervous breakdown, with Isaac hauling me by the feet into the room. Promptly tornadoed him out the window. Bastard.
Day 63
Managed to get out of Kalay without the fifty or so people I owe money to realizing I was there. Unfortunately trapped on boat with loads of tourists, sea monsters and one very annoying Isaac. Why me?
Day 64
Honestly, there is no privacy in this world. Just showing Garet the Rod, when Isaac comes barging in . . . he seemed quite shocked about something then left. How bizarre.
Day 65
Mia awfully tense. Was just sitting at breakfast table then started screaming at Isaac and throwing the milk jug at him. Worried about her, but can't say I don't agree with her feelings about Isaac.
Day 68
Isaac making us cheat for Colosso. Has he no pride?
. . . no.
Day 69
Was casually showing guard the Shaman's Rod when heard horrific scream, then a thump. Turned out to be Isaac falling from extreme height, so did not warrant my attention.
Day 70
Some Lord Babi wants us to find his magical drink. For some reason Isaac decided to take the quest up. Felt like kicking his broken leg, but that would be unfair. Besides, Garet did it for me.
Day 73
Mia quite good with scissors. Isaac most perplexed as to why brushing his hair feels different. Ha.
Day 77
Head hurts after Mia decked me for taking her nail polish. How on earth did it get in my bag? Suspect Garet involved, as he hasn't set me on fire for quite a while, he's been too quiet.
Day 78
Attempt to suffocate Garet with pillow failed, as Isaac woke up and yelled. Stupid Isaac.
Day 81
Hitting Isaac with Shaman's Rod most satisfying.
Day 82
Until he found out. Finger marks on neck. Using concealer.
Day 84
Feeling pouty, as Mia stole my lip gloss. Stupid girl should bring her own. It was my favourite blueberry one too.
Day 86
My God, are all the lighthouses in Angara tacky? Stone is so last century.
Garet most unresponsive. Jerk.
Day 90
Those fashion disasters turned up on the roof again, along with newly recruited lackies. Some talk about Felix being a traitor . . . SO tedious. Then they took the Shaman's Rod! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod . . . WAAAAAAH!
Don't remember much else.
Day 103
GARET FOUND THE SHAMAN'S ROD! Will love him till day I die . . . or next week. So happy, even with imminent sea voyage approaching.
Day 105
On ship. Very depressed, Isaac didn't even let us go shopping first. I needed new bath lotion too. Notfairnotfairnotfairnotfair. . .
Garet said as soon as the shore is out of site, Isaac's swimming with the fishes. Can't wait!
----------
The Secret Diary Of Ivan
-----------
Day 1
I just KNEW I shouldn't have bet the Shaman's Rod and all my clothes in that poker game.
Day 2
Master Hammet sent me out of the caravan to buy some boot wax. But when I came back, everyone had left. They must have forgotten I was here. . .
Day 4
So boring in this town. No pubs either.
Day 5
Met some rather strange individuals in the hotel. One of them had some very disturbing thoughts about chickens and socks, whilst the other was just disturbing in that he wanted to wring my neck. Seemed to read out of their minds that they're warriors, so asked if they could get the Shaman's Rod back.
Took something drastic to persuade them. Gonna be sore for a month.
Day 6
They found it! Goodygoodygoodygoody . . . Isaac not that bad. Garet an asswipe though. May go to Lunpa to find Master Hammet, he's still got my sparkly hair gel.
Day 10
Got all the way to Lunpa to find out they don't let anyone in. Honestly, what's the point of a town when you can't get into it? Even the Shaman's Rod wouldn't move the guards. Although, the one on the left seemed quite keen on it for a while.
Day 11
Grumble. Isaac and Garet caught up with me again. Isaac's cloak looked a little burnt, wonder how that happened. Told them I didn't need any help. Not entirely true, but like I'm going to tell them THAT! Garet would probably jump for joy.
Day 13
Resolve failed. Joined Isaac and Garet for moral support.
Day 14
Day was going quite nicely till Garet set me on fire. Terrible burn marks in places I'd rather not think about. Will get revenge.
Day 17
Strange paralyzing sparkles around here. Manages to flip Garet into awkward position just before they froze him. Most amusing.
Day 20
The world according to Garet: everything that can be burned, should be burned.
Day 26
Isaac going on and on about "righteous virtue of mission" and "saviour of humanity". Am quite sure he doesn't mean Garet and me. He's so far up himself he can probably see out the other side.
Day 27
Rare cooperation with Garet to "accidentally" push Isaac into freezing river. May not stop laughing for hours.
Day 29
Imil nice town. Bit frigid though, kinda like the people. REALLY annoying healer girl. That cannot be her natural hair colour. Tried to mind-read her, but couldn't. Her mind was just . . . empty.
Day 32
In Mercury Lighthouse. Nothing light about it, dreary as hell in here. Needs some windows, maybe some lace curtains . . . those statues HAVE to go. Am I the only one in Angara with fashion sense?
Day 33
Yes, I am.
Day 34
Found some nasty people on the top of the lighthouse. Most HORRENDOUS clothes I have ever seen. Almost fainted. That girl they kidnapped is a looker though . . . Garet thinks so too. Perhaps he'll express his love by setting her on fire?
Day 37
Beat those fashion rejects. Turns out they want to destroy world. Like that'll happen, with clothes like theirs.
Heading off again. Isaac may be making mistake by following Mia's peculiar map marked with yellow arches. Never seen things like that.
Day 42
Trekking is hell on my complexion. Am enduring ridicule from Garet about using moisturizer. I'm not getting any younger, after all.
Day 46
Lama Temple most disturbing. How people can sit around all day with their eyes closed is a mystery. No yellow arches. Mia upset for some reason. Then again, she's ALWAYS upset about something.
Day 48
FAR too hot in this desert. Must take off some clothes.
Day 53
Becoming bored. Have taken to pelting Isaac with rocks in the dark. Useless git. One cannot be a leader if they don't actually lead something once in a while.
Day 55
Isaac so petty. Went and destroyed some lizards minding their own business just because "they looked evil."
Day 57
It's been three days since Garet set me on fire. Must be a record.
Day 59
Made it to Kalay (at last). Had just gotten in the front door of the castle when realized I had to tell Lady Layana about Master Hammet. Had massive nervous breakdown, with Isaac hauling me by the feet into the room. Promptly tornadoed him out the window. Bastard.
Day 63
Managed to get out of Kalay without the fifty or so people I owe money to realizing I was there. Unfortunately trapped on boat with loads of tourists, sea monsters and one very annoying Isaac. Why me?
Day 64
Honestly, there is no privacy in this world. Just showing Garet the Rod, when Isaac comes barging in . . . he seemed quite shocked about something then left. How bizarre.
Day 65
Mia awfully tense. Was just sitting at breakfast table then started screaming at Isaac and throwing the milk jug at him. Worried about her, but can't say I don't agree with her feelings about Isaac.
Day 68
Isaac making us cheat for Colosso. Has he no pride?
. . . no.
Day 69
Was casually showing guard the Shaman's Rod when heard horrific scream, then a thump. Turned out to be Isaac falling from extreme height, so did not warrant my attention.
Day 70
Some Lord Babi wants us to find his magical drink. For some reason Isaac decided to take the quest up. Felt like kicking his broken leg, but that would be unfair. Besides, Garet did it for me.
Day 73
Mia quite good with scissors. Isaac most perplexed as to why brushing his hair feels different. Ha.
Day 77
Head hurts after Mia decked me for taking her nail polish. How on earth did it get in my bag? Suspect Garet involved, as he hasn't set me on fire for quite a while, he's been too quiet.
Day 78
Attempt to suffocate Garet with pillow failed, as Isaac woke up and yelled. Stupid Isaac.
Day 81
Hitting Isaac with Shaman's Rod most satisfying.
Day 82
Until he found out. Finger marks on neck. Using concealer.
Day 84
Feeling pouty, as Mia stole my lip gloss. Stupid girl should bring her own. It was my favourite blueberry one too.
Day 86
My God, are all the lighthouses in Angara tacky? Stone is so last century.
Garet most unresponsive. Jerk.
Day 90
Those fashion disasters turned up on the roof again, along with newly recruited lackies. Some talk about Felix being a traitor . . . SO tedious. Then they took the Shaman's Rod! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod . . . WAAAAAAH!
Don't remember much else.
Day 103
GARET FOUND THE SHAMAN'S ROD! Will love him till day I die . . . or next week. So happy, even with imminent sea voyage approaching.
Day 105
On ship. Very depressed, Isaac didn't even let us go shopping first. I needed new bath lotion too. Notfairnotfairnotfairnotfair. . .
Garet said as soon as the shore is out of site, Isaac's swimming with the fishes. Can't wait!