Summary: Tragedy strikes. Joey Wheeler is gone forever. Or is he? Joey POV. Post Duelist Kingdom AU. Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.
Author's Notes: Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic. It looks like it's going to turn into some sort of epic.
Thanks for the reviews! It gives me a nice tingly feeling ^_^
I wonder if I should up the rating to R? Is PG13 too mild for all the swearing Joey's doing? I don't really want to tone down the language because I think Joey has every right to be upset…
Joey: @$@$%!!! You #!@#$!%*!! killed me!
What do you guys think? Or do you notice the language at all?
Warnings: Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.
Disclaimers: I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across. No road-crossing chickens were harmed in the making of this fic.
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Being Dead Ain't Easy
Chapter Five: Why the Joey Crossed the Road
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I've discovered my mission in unlife:
Haunt Seto Kaiba.
That's right, I'm gonna do the vengeful ghost thing and wreck his life! Do ya hear me, Moneybags!? I'm gonna stalk ya day an' night an' never let ya sleep or work an' bug you 'til you crack!
…Even though he can't hear me or see me or anything. I'll figure it out later.
'Sides, I got nothin' better to do.
I know where Kaiba lives, so all I hafta do is walk, fly, or hitch a ride on a car goin' my way and away we go. No problem.
Ya must be wonderin' how I can get in a car. I mean, invisible ghost body plus walkin' through stuff equals no gettin' into cars, right?
Lucky for me, that ain't so.
I found out that I can sorta touch things. I can sit down, lean against walls, hold onto stuff, that sort of thing. I can do the opposite, too. If I concentrate, I can go through anything. And if I don't concentrate, I can… errr… go through anything. Or, um, not?
…Give me a break, man! I'm new at this kinda thing!
I can't move stuff. Like if I sit down on a sofa or something. I can sit on it, but the cushion doesn't sink down. Do you get what I mean? If someone slams a door in my face, and yeah, that's happened to me, I'm pushed back, though the guy on the other side won't feel the door hittin' anything. If I kick a wall, I either bounce back, or my foot just goes right through it, dependin' on my mood.
Let me put it this way: Sometimes I go through stuff and sometimes I don't. There. Clear enough for ya? Good.
So I just walk up to a car stopped at a traffic light, go right through the closed door, and make myself comfortable in the back seat. The light turns green and we're off!
Yeah, I could just fly there, but this is way faster. Unless Kaiba lives in the sky, even walking's faster than flying.
I huge mansion looms into view. That's my stop, everybody off!
This is the hard part. The car's still moving, so it's a bit tricky. I close my eyes, will myself 'not-there', and fall through the bottom of the car. Then, I get run over by about ten cars while I cross the street. Okay, okay, they run through me, not over, but it still feels pretty disturbing. So many tingles it's like I'm bein' electrocuted.
…Phew! I finally make it across the street. Let me tell you, it took me awhile to perfect the Joey Wheeler Undead Hitchhiker technique. You remember me mentionin' that I either go through or bounce? Bouncin' from car to car is not fun. Don't try it, especially if you're not already dead.
Kaiba's mansion is big, real big. There's a high pointy fence around the whole thing. At the gates, there's some high-tech voice recognition intercom thingy. There's guards all around patrollin' the mansion grounds. They've all got these jackets on that sorta bulge out where they're keeping their guns.
Ooh, scary. Too bad I can just walk right through it. Neener neener.
Ya know, I don't think Kaiba used to have bodyguards oozin' outta the woodwork like this. Maybe that killer psycho bomber gunman employee got to him more than he let on.
…And here we are inside the home of Mr. Paranoid CEO himself. Classy. I gotta admit, Kaiba knows how to live in style. Now where'd he run off to?
Time to do some exploring.
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Did I mention this place is huge? Huge, as in it has so many rooms it's like a maze? Not that I'm lost or anything. Yeah. Not lost, just exploring.
Man, Kaiba should put some kinda map or directory or something at the front door. It's not like he can't afford it.
Okaaay, I came in that way and I went this way and then I turned right at the third door. No, wait, didn't I turn left at the second door and then down the hallway to… Aw, forget it. I just pick a random direction and walk.
I find a room with noise coming from it and let myself in.
It's the living room. Mokuba's lyin' on the floor with a controller in his hands, playin' a videogame. Looks like some sorta racing game, if I'm not mistaken. He's grinnin' like a maniac, so I guess he's winning. Looks like fun. I wish I could play, too.
I give myself a shake. Enough with the angsting, already! Go find Kaiba!
I spin around and wander off, goin' through the rooms one by one like I shoulda done before.
Kitchen, kinda messy 'cause the Kaibas had dinner a while ago. Dining room. Library. Study. Indoor swimmin' pool. Another living room. Bathroom. Lobby. Living room with Mokuba. Library. Pool. Where the hell's Kaiba!? Can't haunt the creep if I can't even find him.
Am I goin' in circles, here?
'Course not. I'm not lost, so I can't be goin' in circles.
Um.
…Hey, I found the stairs! Now we're gettin' somewhere. Dunno why I missed it; the thing's so big I wanna get up there, whip out a sled, and slide down just for kicks. I mean, the steps are so freakin' wide I could stretch out on one! I walk up the stairs just in time to see Kaiba go by. About time! I follow him around until he steps into a room and closes the door.
I know I can just barge in there, but, I dunno…
Well, I can wait until he comes out. Now that I know where he is, I'll just sit tight. I don't wanna get lost – err, I mean, turned around again.
I mean, just because I've never been up here doesn't mean I should snoop.
…Ya know, if I keep an eye on Kaiba's door, I won't get all confused about where I am, as long as I don't go too far. Let's explore the second floor now, shall we?
Bedroom. Bedroom. Bathroom. Study. Bedroom. Bathroom. Bedroom. Mini-kitchen. Empty room. Door Kaiba's behind. Man, come out already! I'm getting bored!
He's sure takin' his sweet time. I wonder what he's doing?
Only one way to find out.
Since I'm polite and all, I knock first. Not my fault it doesn't make a sound! "Ready or not, Kaiba, here I come!" I say cheerfully. Not my fault he can't hear that, either.
Enough with the politeness. I make myself at home and walk right in.
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