Summary:  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

Author's Notes:  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going

Thanks for the reviews.  You all inspire me ^_^

Jou-pup:  That's right, the 'phone' in Chap13 was actually a strangely-shaped banana with a hard candy coating.  The 'squish' sound of the banana was edited out later.  Kaiba had to wash his hands after the scene.

Kaiba might be a bit more OOC in this one.  Well, think of it this way: He's had a whole string of miserable days and he's exhausted.  Top that off with shock after shock.  He's gone wacky.  Yeah.

I have some bad news, folks:  I won't be able to update again until Saturday at the earliest.  To sort of make up for it, this chapter is a bit longer than my usual.  Now I have to go study for a final exam :(

Warnings:  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

Disclaimers:  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No pants were harmed in the making of this fic.

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Being Dead Ain't Easy

Chapter Fourteen:  Getting To Know You

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The second we're through the front door, Mokuba rushes over and hugs his big brother like he's never letting go.  Kaiba drops his briefcase and kneels down so he can hug him back.  They're holdin' each other tight like me and my little sis used to do before the divorce.  Mokuba's trying not to cry, sniffling into that trench coat, and Kaiba's telling him how he's gonna kick that killer's ass 'cause nobody crosses a Kaiba.  It's a family thing, and I feel really awkward just standing there watching.

Kaiba looks at me and mouths, 'Wait in my room'.  I'm not gonna argue with him.  I nod and head up the stairs.  His little brother comes first, I get that.

After a bit of wandering, I find Kaiba's bedroom, sit on the bed, and wait for him.  He didn't make his bed this morning and the covers are falling off the bed.  What's left of his old alarm clock is gone and there's a new one sitting on the nightstand.  I'm guessin' he's gonna be awhile, so I stretch out on his bed and stare up at the ceiling.  The sun's almost completely set and it's too dark to really see, but I think it's creamy-white.  All in all, a pretty boring ceiling.

I guess Kaiba decided to have dinner first.  He's taking his sweet time.

A little over an hour later, I hear the door open and close.  About time.  "Be a good little doggy and get off my bed, Wheeler."

I pretend I don't hear him.  Let's see how much you like it, Kaiba.

"Wheeler."  Kaiba growls.  He really looks like he needs to lie down, but... nah, I won't let him.

This is a real nice bed.

He glares at me, waiting for me to move.  Not gonna happen, pal.  Finally, he just gives me a little smirk, sits down by my side, and suddenly sprawls out on the bed right on top of me.  Through me.  Urk.  His eyes widen from the tingles- he feels them? -but he ignores 'em and doesn't get off.

I... uh... make a small dignified sound of protest and scramble outta the way, but not outta the bed.  I'm not gonna give him the satisfaction.  We fight over which side of the bed I get to lie on.  He's gotta be pretty tired, forgetting to be CEO Kaiba, messing around like this.  He's almost human.  Still a prick, but a human prick.  We end up on our backs, lyin' next to each other.  I'm still on his bed, so I can live with that.

Enough horsin' around.  "So how's the squirt?"

Kaiba's got his arm across his eyes.  He sighs.  Long day.  "Not good.  He's afraid that subhuman piece of trash will kill me."

I'm afraid of that, too.  That guy got awful close.  "That subhuman piece of trash got a name?"

"Thomas James Morrison.  It doesn't matter; his name will be wiped from the face of the earth by the time I'm through with him."

"What about all the other guys with the same name?"

"They'll have to get new names."

That's Kaiba for ya.  I wait for him to say some more stuff, but he's being quiet.  We just lie there side by side in the dark.

I get sick of listening to Kaiba breathe.  "We gonna talk now?"

He doesn't say anything for a while.  "I suppose so, Wheeler.  I was hoping to put this off for a while longer, but since I could be dead tomorrow, we might as well get this over with now."

He's bein' awful nice to me.  I guess he missed me a lot.  I'll hafta be nice to him back.  I sigh.  "Jeez, Kaiba, you don't die so easy.  Quit it with the 'I'm gonna die' attitude.  You'll scare Mokuba."

He grunts.

Let's get this ball rolling.  "So how long've you been seeing me?"

"Too long."

"Kaiba..." I growl.

Another sigh.  "Ever since you died, Wheeler."

That's not right.  It can't be right.  "I wasn't anywhere near ya, Moneybags."  If I remember right, I was starin' at a swirly white light at the time.

Kaiba chuckles.  "I said that I saw you, not that you were actually there."

Now I'm confused.  "Eh?"

"Every night in my dreams, I saw you.  Everywhere I looked, I saw you.  At home, at school, at work... I saw you," he says softly.  I turn my head to face him, but we're still lyin' on our backs, so I can't see his face too clearly. 

"Shit, Kaiba..."

"You never left me alone."

"Kaiba..."

"I knew it was all in my head, so I ignored you.  Mokuba and Yuugi were the only ones who even suspected anything was wrong."

He's worse off than I thought.  "I hate to say this, but you need professional help, Kaiba."

"And have it broadcast on the evening news?" he snorts.  "My enemies are wolves, Wheeler.  Having a little brother is almost more weakness than I can afford.  If they had any idea of my... minor problem, my brother would fall soon after I did."

"But-"

"But nothing.  It doesn't matter."

And in Kaiba's world, what he says, goes.  "So how do you know I'm really here?"

"Simple.  You touched me.  It was... unexpected."

Yeah, unexpected.  That's not the word I'd use.

"So what happened in the bathroom?"  I've been wonderin' about that.

"I assume you really were the one who wrote that tacky message?"

"...Yeah."

"I overreacted, but then I realized that my hallucination of you couldn't have done such a thing, so I blamed Yuugi."

"Wait...  You saw me in the bathroom?"

"A hallucination."  He narrows his eyes at me.  "That screamed like a girl.  You wouldn't be so obscene as to stand there and watch me shower, would you?"

I shouldn't have brought it up.  "'Course not!  I wrote my thing and left."  Better change the subject.  "And how long've you been hearing me?"

He's still lookin' at me funny, but he answers my question.  "Since that night we talked by your grave."

I glare at him.  "Why didn't cha say you could!?"

He glares right back.  I feel mine go sorta wobbly and I blink first.  "Because, chihuahua, I thought I was imagining things!  If the imaginary people in your head started talking to you, what would you do!?"

Ignore 'em and hope they go away.  Okay, I get it.  "Pull a 'Yuugi' and say hello, of course," I tell Kaiba.  "And stop it with the doggy insults."

"I'll keep that in mind, puppy-boy."  He closes his eyes and half-smiles.  "Not that it matters.  You'll probably pester me more than any hallucination for the rest of my life, won't you."

"No I won't."  I wish I could.

He turns his head to face me and lifts an eyebrow.  "The dumb mutt actually has something better to do?  Do tell."

I grit my teeth.  Let the 'mutt' thing go, Joey, let it go.  "Since you asked, I guess I will."  But I don't wanna.

"I'm waiting."

I close my eyes.  I don't like dumpin' my problems on people.  They're my problems, so I'll deal with 'em.  But if he wants to know...  "This ain't gonna last, Kaiba."

Kaiba turns over on his side so he can see me better.  "What won't last?"

I'm still on my back.  Don't wanna look at him.  "Me.  Once I disappear, I'm gone for good.  I won't be around for ya to insult anymore.  I'm gonna die twice."

He suddenly sounds all serious.  "Tell me."

Yes, sir.  "Yami said I'm a lost soul.  I can't go anywhere 'cause I messed up the 'movin' on' bit and turned into a ghost.  When ghosts run outta juice, they go up like a puff o' smoke.  Game Over.  Deader than dead."  Still not lookin' at him.

"Is that so."

"Yeah.  So don't worry, I won't be botherin' you for long."

"Look at me, Joey," he orders.

Gah, I'm too worn out to argue with the guy.  I move so I'm lyin' on my side and facing him.  "What?"

He's frowning.  "Do you really think I hate you so much that I'd want you worse than dead?"

"I'll give ya some credit and say 'no'."

"How generous of you."

"I'm a generous kinda guy."

Kaiba seems to be mulling something over in his head.  He comes to a decision.  "Let me show you something."  He sits up, climbs outta bed, and goes over to his dresser without turnin' on the light.  He opens up the bottom drawer and pulls something out without looking, like he's done it a million times before.  He comes back to the bed and sits down with the whatever it is in his lap.

I sit up.  "What's that?"

He strokes the fabric of the thing.  It looks like some kinda shirt or coat.  "After you died, nobody saw fit to give me some memento of you.  That's understandable; I was your hated enemy.  Why would I want something to remember you by?"

"You tell me.  What've you got?"  I hope he didn't break into my apartment and steal my laundry or something.

"See for yourself."  He unfolds the piece of clothing and lays it out between us.

I run my eyes over it.  It's a ratty looking trench coat with the ends burnt off.  "I don't wear trench coats, Kaiba.  That's not mine."

Kaiba sighs and turns on the table lamp by the bed so I can see.

Now that the light's on, I can tell that it used to be a deep blue.  It's been washed, but I can still see the rusty brown stains all over it.

Oh man, that can't be what I think it is.  "It's...  That's..."

Kaiba gathers up the coat and hugs it against his chest.  He looks at me.  "Finish your sentences, Wheeler.  Say what you want and be done with it."

"Tell me that's not the coat you were wearing when I got shot."

Kaiba rolls his eyes.  "No, people die on me all the time and I have a wardrobe full of bloody clothes," he says sarcastically.  "Of course this is the coat I was wearing when you bled to death in my arms, you stupid dog!"  He holds it closer, still watching me.  "For a long time, this was all I had left of you."

And he's huggin' it like a teddy bear.  Eww.  Kinda sweet, but eeewww.  "That's real sick, Kaiba.  Chuck it."

He lifts an eyebrow.  "Why should I?"

"It's gross!"  I can't believe he kept the coat I died on!  Still, it coulda been worse, I guess.  At least he didn't dig me up.  I hope.  "Ya don't have any more little 'reminders', do ya?"

"Other than the corpse in the fridge, no."

Oh my god, I'm gonna be sick.

Kaiba takes one look at me... and laughs long and hard into his bloodstained trench coat Joey memento.  It's stress, so I won't kill him right this second.

I hate this guy.  "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

After a few minutes, he finally gets himself under control.  "The look on your face is priceless!" he chuckles.  Bastard.  "I don't like you that much, Wheeler."

"You've got one sick sense o' humour, funny guy."

He just smirks at me.  "Be that as it may, puppy-boy, I did actually find something a bit more appropriate than this," he says, holdin' up the coat.

"You're not gonna crack another 'joke', are ya?"

"I'm serious."  Kaiba fishes around in his pants pocket and pulls out a card.  "I trust this is familiar?"

My Red Eyes Black Dragon.  I narrow my eyes.  "How didja get that?"

"Mmmm...  Yuugi really should take better care of your deck, don't you think?  Dropping all those cards and expecting people to just give them back after picking them up is putting too much faith in human nature."  Smirk.

You.  Stinkin'.  Kaiba.  "GIVE THAT BACK TO YUUGI, YA JERK!"  I leap off the bed and try to grab it.

He gets up too, waving the card over my head and laughin' at me 'cause he's taller.  "I don't think so.  And how are you going to make me?"  Shoot, I can't grab the card; I'm a ghost and I can't waste that kinda power.

"I'll...  I'll..."  Ah HAH!  "I'll tell Yami!"

"Oh yes, our resident ghost expert.  The 'dead Egyptian dude'", he mocks.  "One of your fellow spirits."  Kaiba frowns and sticks the card back in his pants where I can't get it.  Well, I could try, but it'd look kinda weird.  "Why does he still exist, anyway?  I thought you said all ghosts 'die' after a period of time."

I guess we're done 'playing'.  I sit back down on the bed.  "He's got the Puzzle to stay in and he says you can't share Items."

Kaiba sits down next to me.  "Then get yourself a puzzle or equivalent.  Maybe an eye or something," he suggests.

He's taking the ghost and magic stuff pretty well.  "You're pretty matter-o'-fact 'bout this stuff."

"Pegasus.  I experienced his magic first-hand," he says flatly.

"Oh, yeah."  Forgot about that.  "And no, I can't get myself a Millennium Item.  Nobody knows how to make 'em anymore."

"I would think that an ancient Egyptian spirit that already had one would know how."

"I thought so too, but that guy's memory is swiss cheese.  There's stuff in there, but not much.  He can't remember."

"That's rather... inconvenient."  Kaiba gets up and starts to pace.  "Unfortunately, there aren't any other Egyptian spirits around that can help you."

I slap my forehead.  "I'm an idiot," I moan.

"I always thought so, too."

I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier!  I shoot off the bed.  "No, I mean I'm an idiot!  Yami Yuugi's not the only one!"

Kaiba smirks at me.  "Oh?  I'm glad we agree."

"That's not what I mean!"  I'm a big, time-wastin' idiot.  Stop.  Think.  "Bakura.  He's got the Millennium Ring.  With a spirit in it.  An old Egyptian one."

Kaiba blinks.  "That solves that, then."

I can't believe it was that easy.  I'm kinda shocked.  "I guess I'll go say hi to Bakura."

"Yes, you better go do that."  He stares at me.  I stare at him.  He lifts an eyebrow.

What am I just standin' around like an idiot for!?  I head for the door.  "'Comin'?"

Kaiba thinks about it, but shakes his head.  "No.  I shouldn't leave the mansion until that bastard is caught."

Psycho gunman.  Right.  "Good idea.  Stay put, Kaiba."  I pause before I reach the door.  "And thanks.  For helpin' me out."

He nods.  "Tell me how it goes."  He's feeling nice enough to open the door for me.  What a gentleman... NOT!  But it's a nice change from having to walk through 'em.

"Sure thing.  And Kaiba?"

"What?"

I flash him a nasty smile.  "I'm still gonna haunt your ass."

Kaiba's lips twitch, but he lets me have the last word, for once.  I walk out into the dark hallway, and when I'm five steps away, he says something.

"See you later... chihuahua."  I turn fast enough to see the smirk on his face, the light from the lamp showing through the gap between the doorframe and his body.  Then he closes the door.

Is it any wonder I hate him?

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