Summary:  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

Author's Notes:  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going.  And whoa, still going.

I can't believe this fic is getting so many reviews o_O.  Thanks for continuing to read!

Angel-Belle:  Yes, go ahead and use that line ^_^

Warnings:  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

Disclaimers:  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No sleeping teenagers were harmed in the making of this fic.

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Being Dead Ain't Easy

Chapter Sixteen:  This For That

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We go over to the living room and let Bakura sleep.  There's only one place to sit - like I said, the apartment's tiny - and Yami Bakura takes it.  I end up leanin' against the wall across from the sofa he's sprawled out on.

I can't shake the nasty feeling that this is way too easy.  He's gonna help me, just like that.  Yami 'Evil' Bakura's gonna help me.

He drums his fingers on the armrest, looking bored.  "So what exactly do you want to know?"

Man, where do I even start?  "Yami Yuugi says I need a Millennium Item to 'anchor' my soul.  No anchor, no stayin' around.  But he says nobody knows how to make 'em anymore."

He sighs and treats me like a moron.  "I'll ask you again:  What.  Do.  You.  Want.  To.  Know?"

I narrow my eyes.  I don't like this guy's attitude, but I'm not gonna start anything.  "I guess what I wanna know is how to make a Millennium something."

Snort.  "A 'Millennium something' indeed."  He leans forward, getting down to business.  "It would help if you told me how, exactly, you came to be as you are now."

Easy enough.  "I think everything was goin' okay until I... uh, tripped on somethin'.  I heard Kaiba an' I looked down.  Then I sorta fell on my funeral."

He frowns.  "You... tripped?  That's all?"

"Yeah."

"Merely tripping on something wouldn't be enough to disrupt the journey to the next plane.  Stopping a soul from moving on takes effort."  He taps his chin, thinking.  "Unless..."  He stops tapping.  Smiles.  He came up with something, I just know it.  "...I see.  How very... interesting."

Care to share, Bakura?  "What's interesting?"

Yami Bakura just smirks at me.  He goes off and talks about something else.  "Hmmm.  As much as it pains me to do so, I must say the Pharaoh is right.  The knowledge to make the Millennium Items was possessed only by him and his priests.  Unfortunately, he seems to have gone senile, and the priests..."  Yami Bakura shakes his head.  "The priests remember even less.  It's quite sad, really."

What, are there Egyptian priests runnin' around?  Whatever, can't get sidetracked now.  "But you still have your memories!"

"It makes no difference, you fool!"

The guy's no priest.  "So what you're sayin' is...  you don't know."

He shakes his head.  "I know roughly how it was done, but that knowledge isn't enough."

I close my eyes and slump against the wall.  "Well, that's just... great."  Jumping with joy, here.

He tries to smile all friendly-like.  Doesn't work.  He's enjoying this.  "My sincerest apologies, but even if I were the Pharaoh himself, I would not be able to make any Millennium Item."

Might as well ask.  "Why not?  Not that it matters."

"It's quite simple, really."  Smirk.  Is it just me, or is this guy gettin' a thrill outta crushing my hopes?  "The seven Items were created with the energies of six powerful priests and their oh so great Pharaoh.  It took all of their combined shadow powers to do such a thing, and they sealed the gates to the Shadow Realm with each Item.  Such power."  Yami Bakura stares off into the past.  "I remember the sky turning so black I could not even see the stars.  For what seemed like ages, all was darkness.  It was quite a feat."

"Yeah, I can imagine."  And they didn't have flashlights back then, either.

He snaps back to the here and now.  "But now, now..."  He clenches a fist.  "The shadow powers are so weak now they are good for little more than parlor tricks!" he snarls.  "There is no way to make a Millennium Item in this age.  All that power, sealed away!"

Amazing what they don't teach you in school, huh?  I know I'd pay more attention in class if they talked about shadow powers and Millennium Items.  Still, this ain't helping me at all.  "Yeah, whadda shame, thanks for the history lesson.  Am I just wasting my time with you or what?"

He relaxes, all done with his rant.  "Not exactly.  Your Pharaoh is correct in one sense, but utterly wrong in every other."

Okay, so if he's right about the Items, what's he wrong about?  "Eh?  What'd he miss on?"

"Really, one doesn't need to seal a spirit in a Millennium Item.  Any object will do."  He smiles at me.  Personally, I wish he hadn't.  It's damn scary lookin'.  "Why, I myself have sealed countless others in such things as game pieces and playing cards."

I just bet cha have, you creep.  I'd make ya pay for it, but I still need your help.  "That's not quite what I'm aiming for.  I sorta wanna be able to come back out, too."

"Oh?  You do?"  He pretends to be surprised.  "I could permanently seal you into the sofa, if you'd like.  It'd be so much easier."

He's toying with me!  "Don't play dumb, Bakura!" I snarl.  "Of course I wanna be able to come back out!"

"Ah.  That... complicates matters."

So can he or can't he!?  I don't have all the time in the world, here!  "How hard can it be!?"

"Well now, it's not hard, exactly.  It's just that it would take so much effort on my part that I really don't see why I should be bothered to go through the trouble."

"You said you'd help me!" I growl.

He waggles a finger.  "I said I'd tell you what the Pharaoh could not.  I have now done so."

"But-!"  I can't believe this guy!

"And your rather obvious attempts to trick me into helping you were quite amusing.  I applaud your efforts."  He gives me three slow claps.  "As my host would say, 'Jolly good show'."

I didn't fool anybody.  And my ego's taking a bruising.  "So ya got a good laugh outta me.  Now what, you gonna turn me away?"  This was all a big fat waste o' time.

"I didn't say that."  He's lookin' at me like he... he wants something.  I don't like it.  "If you make it worth my time, I would be more than happy to help you with your little problem."

There's not much I can do to make it worth his time.  He's still smilin' at me.  It looks plain wrong on Bakura's face.  I swallow.  "Whaddaya want?"

"It's a small thing, really."

If it was a small thing, he wouldn't be smiling like that.  "Spit it out, already."

"Since you ask so nicely..." He drapes an arm over the back of the sofa, nice and casual.  "I have always been a... collector of sorts.  A collector of rare and ancient treasures.  Treasures like the Millennium Ring."

"You mean you're a lowlife thief."  I'm getting sick of this.  "What's your point?"

"I prefer the term 'treasure hunter,' myself."  He strokes his Ring.  "I'd like to add little Yuugi's Millennium Puzzle to my collection."

"Yeah?"  I don't like this.

"Yes.  It would be quite helpful to me if you could use your phantom powers to visit Yuugi Mutou and tell me when he's sleeping, or when his guardian is otherwise occupied."  He gets a glint in his eye.  "He would be vulnerable, and his Puzzle there for the taking."

Uh huh.  "Yuugi's my friend, you asshole."

He acts like he doesn't hear.  "I assure you, he will never know you betrayed him.  He will never see me coming, and once the host is disposed of, our dear pharaoh will not be able to retaliate, either."

I'm dead, I'm desperate, but NO WAY am I helping Yami Bakura.  Not like this.  Never like this.  "No deal, Yami Bakura," I spit.

He sneers.  "Foolish boy!  This is the preservation of your soul we are negotiating for!  Is it truly worth so little to you?"

"No.  Yuugi's just worth that much more to me."  And that's that.  I'm not even gonna waste my time heading for the door.  A little concentration, and I'm sinking through the floor.  Can't get outta here quick enough.

I hear him say, "Think about it, boy," before my head leaves the room.

I don't think so, Yami Bakura.

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