Summary:  Tragedy strikes.  Joey Wheeler is gone forever.  Or is he?  Joey POV.  Post Duelist Kingdom AU.  Will eventually be Seto/Joey shounen-ai.

Author's Notes:  Well, I thought I'd try writing a YuGiOh fic.  And it's still going.  And going.  And whoa, still going.

Thank you all for still reading this story!  It makes it all worth it ^_^

Hine no Chikyuu:  Thanks for the plushies! *uses 'em for sex-ed*

Jou-pup:  How did Morrison see Joey?  Let's ask him!  Oh wait, he's... nevermind ^_^;;

Kimmie:  They're virtual objects, so it's okay!  And I update every day between 12am and 2am... zzzzz

Cliffies are evil, but they're such a convenient place to stop...

Warnings:  Character death (sort of), language, angst, eventual Seto/Joey.

Disclaimers:  I don't own YuGiOh or any other brand names you might come across.  No milk cartons were harmed in the making of this fic.

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Being Dead Ain't Easy

Chapter Twenty-Two:  Let's Make a Deal

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I think Kaiba carried me to the helicopter.  I don't know, I was pretty out of it.  Everything was a blur of sounds and somebody saying "Excuse me, sir, but are you... carrying something?" and Kaiba going "Shut up and drive!" and traffic sounds and chopper blades.  I'm guessin' I've got that in the wrong order, but like I said, I was pretty out of it.

When I come to, Kaiba's laying me on the couch in his living room.  Mokuba's hovering around his big brother, looking worried but not knowing what to do.  Kaiba looks awful, his trench coat all bloody and ripped up where the bullets got a little too close.

He sees me blinking up at him.  "Joey?"

"Kaiba," I croak.  "You look like shit."

He smiles.  "So do you."  He brushes some of my hair back so it doesn't get in my eyes.  No real point; I can see through it.  "Now be a good doggy and lie there, alright?"

I'm not goin' anywhere.  "No prob," I whisper.

"Good.  Let me take care of everything."

Mokuba comes over and stares at what I'm guessing looks like an empty couch.  "Is Joey gonna be okay?  How is he, big brother?"

"Better than I expected."  He puts a hand on Mokuba's shoulder and guides him outta the living room, talking to him in a low voice.  "Have you found anything?  Anything at all?"

"I'm sorry, big brother, I really tried, but..."

I can't see them.  Why'd Kaiba want to go way over there, anyway?  "I know you did your best, Mokuba, and I'm proud of you."  A beat.  "Listen, I have to stay here and watch the mutt.  Could you do a favor for me?"

Their voices are sounding quieter and quieter.  They're walking farther away from the living room.  "Sure!  What is it?"

"I want you to..."  And then they're too far away for me to hear.  A minute later, Mokuba runs outta here like he's on fire, not even bothering to close the door after him.  Kaiba walks up and shuts it.

What was that about?  "Where's he goin'?"

"I sent him on an errand," he says casually, kneeling back down next to me.  "Don't concern yourself, Wheeler."  He brushes my hair back again.

Uh huh.  "What, you checked the fridge and you're outta milk?"

"No, we have enough milk to last the week.  Now be quiet and shut that yappy little mouth of yours."

He's still messin' around with my hair.  Yeah, real sweet, but the blood dripping down his arm is kinda ruining it for me.  "Kaiba, go patch yourself up.  You're bleedin' on me.  On the couch, I mean."

"It's not as serious as it looks.  White is just a bad colour for bleeding on."

"Well, I'm feelin' sick just watching ya bleed, so do us both a favor and go clean up."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, me too."

"Wheeler..."

Why is he arguing with me!?  "I'm not goin' anywhere, Kaiba!  Wash up and put some bandages on!  You won't be helpin' me any if you pass out!"

He glares at me.  I glare right back at him.

He ain't budgin'.

"Kaiba, go take care of yourself or I'm gettin' up and doin' it for you."  Yeah, right.  I can't move much.  I can talk and move my head and that's it.

I'm right and he knows it.  He glares at me one more time.  Kaiba finally stands up, swaying a bit, and straightens out.  He narrows his eyes at me.  "I'll be back in five minutes."

"Yeah."

He staggers off, misses the door and almost crashes into a wall.  He stumbles back, growls at the world, shakes his head and gives it another go.  He makes it through this time.  I hope Kaiba can find his way around okay.  He's runnin' on battery backup and willpower.

I'm all alone with nothing to do so I count the minutes go by.  Kaiba's taking a while.  Whadda day.  If Kaiba can't even walk without crashing into things, how the hell's he gonna help me?  All that research turned up zip.  Kaiba's doing everything he can and it's just no good.  I'm outta ideas.  It's over.  Maybe I should just tell Kaiba to give up so he doesn't die from exhaustion or something.  It'd be pretty damn stupid if he died because of me.  I'm all for trying your best, but enough's enough.

There's a jingle of keys at the front door.  It slams open.

"BIG BROTHER, I FOUND HIM!" screams Mokuba, all excited.

Found who?

Kaiba rushes over from wherever he was.  Great, he managed to clean up and slap some bandages on.  He's wearing a dark blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up.  "Good job, Mokuba.  Why don't you go upstairs for a while?"  Mokuba looks like he wants to argue, but Kaiba just looks at him.  The kid swallows and runs off.

Kaiba looks over the new guy.  I can't see him 'cause Kaiba's in the way.  "Come in."

"Um, thank you."  The guy hesitates at the door.  "Pardon me for asking, but what do you need to talk to me so badly about?  Not that I don't wish to talk to you, not at all, but it is rather late, and I have a report due tomorrow.  Does it have to do with school?  Everyone's noticed that you haven't been attending classes lately.  If you need the homework you missed, I'll gladly give it to you..."

Oh shit, tell me that's not...

Kaiba drags him into the living room and spins him around so he's facing the couch.

It's Ryou Bakura.

I can't believe the prick went behind my back and brought him here!  "DAMN YOU, KAIBA!  I SAID NO!"

Bakura looks all confused, but then his face changes.  It's not Ryou Bakura anymore.  That guy slowly walks up to me and runs his eyes along my blurry, fading body.  "Well well well, if it isn't the dead man," he sneers.

"Get outta here, ya stinkin' backstabbin' thief!" I snarl.  I try to sit up but I can't.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to yell at someone while you're lying flat on your back?

"...I see you haven't changed your mind."

"Damn straight I'm not gonna change my mind!"

"Pity."

Kaiba butts in.  "I was under the impression that you could do something about this."  He crosses his arms.  "Am I wrong?"

Yami Bakura smiles.  "I might indeed be able to 'do something about this', Seto Kaiba."  He frowns down at me.  "Unfortunately, his current condition makes things somewhat more difficult."  He looks around the room, sees all the Egyptian raising dead ritual stuff.  "May I?"

Kaiba crosses his arms.  "Be my guest."

The spirit goes over all the stuff we've got.  Reads the hieroglyphics and little wiggly lines.  Nods.  "Excellent.  It is, of course, missing some vital information, but I happen to know what else we require.  The ritual is complicated, but it can be done."  He smiles.  "For a price."

"Name it."

"DON'T DO IT, KAIBA!" I yell from the couch.

"If your dying ghostly friend doesn't cooperate, the ritual won't work at all, my dear priest."

Kaiba blinks.  "Priest?"

"Perhaps I'll tell you later.  If you agree to my terms."  He looks at me.  "The dead man seems to be rather upset.  Why don't you go talk to your dog and make him see reason?"

"No one is allowed to call him a dog except me, Bakura," hisses Kaiba, clenching his fists.

Yami Bakura just smirks at him.  "I'm awaiting your decision.  Don't waste my time."

Kaiba narrows his eyes, but comes over and kneels down next to me.  "What is wrong with you, Wheeler!?" he growls.  "He's willing to help, so let him!"

"I can't!"

"WHY NOT!?" he yells.

I'm gonna hafta tell him to make him shut up.  "He wants the Millennium Puzzle, Kaiba!  We.  Can't.  Give.  It.  To.  Him."

Kaiba looks like he wants to choke me.  "It's just a stupid, tacky necklace, Wheeler!"

"It's not and you know it."  Okay, maybe he doesn't.  "He's tryin' to get all the Millennium Items, and when he does, he'll... he'll... blow up the planet or something!"  Lame, Joey, lame.

"I seriously doubt that."

"Okay, maybe he won't, but he's already bad enough with just the Ring!  You can't give him the Puzzle, Kaiba.  It's Yuugi's."

"I don't care who it belongs to, Wheeler."

He doesn't get it.  "Yuugi's my friend, Kaiba.  If you hafta swipe it to save me, I'd rather die."

Kaiba looks shocked.  "Joey!"

"I mean it, Kaiba."  And that's that.

He glares at me, I glare at him and try to make him see it in my eyes, make him see that I'm not gonna give in.  A billion years later, Kaiba closes his eyes.  "Have it your way, you stubborn mutt.  If Yuugi Mutou means so much to you, I can't change your mind."  He gets up.

Yami Bakura's leaning against the wall, looking bored.  "Have you reached a decision, then?"

"Yes."  Kaiba turns around.  "What do you want in return for helping me save Joey?"

But we just...!  "Kaiba, what the hell do ya think you're-"

"Shut up, Wheeler!" he hisses.  He turns back to Bakura, puts his business face back on.  "Well?"

"The Millennium Puzzle would do nicely."

Kaiba shakes his head.  "No deal."  He walks to the front door.  "Can you walk or should I call a limo to drive you back to your apartment?"

"What...?"  Yami Bakura looks stunned.

"I don't like repeating myself, Bakura.  Are you going to walk or do you want someone to drive you?"

"Surely a man's soul is worth a small thing like a Millennium Item!"

"The soul in question apparently doesn't think so.  No Millennium Items.  This is not negotiable."

Yami Bakura starts to snarl something, but he suddenly smiles in a creepy kinda way.  "But anything else is?"

Not good.  Kaiba narrows his eyes.  "Within reason."

I got a bad feeling about this.  What's 'within reason' to Bakura?  To Kaiba?

The spirit thinks for a bit.  "Hmmm... Really, everything pales when compared to a Millennium Item," he says slowly.  He starts picking at his nails.

"I'm sure you can think of something."

Yami Bakura stops and looks at Kaiba.  Smiles.  "Anything, Priest?"

"As I said before, within reason."

"Very well, then."  He locks eyes with Kaiba.  "I've always wanted to be a... what do they call it now?  Ah yes, a CEO."  Yami Bakura narrows his eyes.  "Do you consider your precious Kaiba Corporation within reason?"

Kaiba opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

More silence.

It's okay, Kaiba.  "Beat it, Bakura.  We'll figure it out on our own," I say for him.

Yami Bakura shrugs and slowly heads for the door.

"Wait."

He looks over his shoulder with a nasty smirk.  "Yes?"  What a bastard.

Kaiba swallows.  "It's yours."

He's throwin' it all away.  Seto Kaiba, Mister 'I am, and always will be, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corporation!' is throwin' it all away.  For me.

He can't do this.  "Seto-  I mean, Kaiba..."

"'Seto' is fine," he says softly.  "After all, I have been calling you 'Joey', occasionally."  He gives me a small smile.

"But... Kaiba Corp…"  It means so much to him, and he's really gonna just...?

He brushes it off.  "It's really not as bad as you think, Joey.  Give me some credit.  I'll live."

There's really nothing I can say.

Yami Bakura comes back.  "Do we have a deal?"

"Yes.  Kaiba Corp. is yours... if you can do as you claim."

The spirit smiles.  "Agreed.  And if you break your word, I will kill you both."  He licks his lips.

"And if you break yours?" Kaiba asks calmly.

"Then I cannot take Kaiba Corp.  You lose nothing.  Except your friend, of course."

Kaiba doesn't look happy, but he glances at me, then sticks his hand out.  "The preservation of Joey Wheeler's soul in exchange for Kaiba Corporation.  Deal?"

Yami Bakura shakes it.  "It is as you say.  Deal."

I'm almost expecting Yami Bakura to pull out a contract and make Kaiba sign it in blood or something, but he just makes himself comfy on an armchair.  "Now listen carefully, for I do not like to repeat myself, either."

We're all ears.

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