Graham: Now Jerry if you'd like to step over here...

Jerry: *Sees collection of dodgy looking objects on table* Ohh no......

Graham: We asked the audience if they'd like to bring some of their favourite objects to the show... and this is what they came up with... Horrible isn't it...

*Graham walks over to the table and picks up a rotating tongue thing (if you don't know what it is, then don't ask - you don't want to know...)

Graham: *Knowingly* Ah ha... Betttyyyy....

Betty: You gave it to me!! Anyway it mixes up my food well.

Otacon: Snake, what the hell's that?

Raiden: I dunno, it looks dangerous...

Snake: Stealth mode!! *Sneaks around the back of the crowd's chair's, gets to the stage, but then sees Graham turning to look his way*

Snake: Damn!! *Fires a bullet to distract graham- it works, he waits for the cameraman to turn around and snatches the erm... device. He then sneaks back to his seat, with a satisfied look on his face.* (No! It's not what you think, you perverts, he's just happy to have completed that mission... Some people with their dirty minds, honestly...)

Snake: *Holds up the device in triumph* Ha!

Psycho Mantis: SICK!

Otacon: Why do you need that?

Snake: Look I just do ok?!

Otacon: It's not like you to be so secretive...

*Raiden, Wolf, Fox all laugh. Meryl, Naomi, Liquid and Rose also walk in just to laugh and point...*

All: yeah right!

Liquid: Why, when we were just little, I remember him going off every day for an hour he wouldn't tell me what he was doing. Turns out he was trying to parachute. *Notices weird looks from Snakes gang* ... Off a 2 ft wall, with a plastic bag, with air holes in it... But point is, he wouldn't even tell me about that!

Otacon: Is that what you do when you go off every hour?

Snake: I can achieve my dreams... I will do it!

Graham: Would that little group stop chattering throughout my show! I mean that guy has a camper English accent that even me- it's not right! It's like Richard E Grant and Patsy from Absolutely fabulous had a son!

Liquid: Hey you called me camp! You gay!

Graham: Shocking revelations- I'm gay... Who'd have thought it?

Liquid: With stupid hair!

Graham: I really don't think my hair's the worst part of my look... *Looks down at his gold lame suit.*

Raiden: Anyway we have the right to talk, you're not the Patriots!!! *Aims Socom at Graham's fluffy phone dog.* Wanna know where he went? It was me, I took it! And he's gonna get it!

Graham: Nooooooooooo, talk amongst yourselves all you want! Just leave the dog/phone out of it!

Snake: Wow Raiden, well done!

Raiden : Do I get a doggy treat for that?

Snake: No they're my dinner!

Liquid: Ok, anyway, as I was saying, you never knew of my plan Snake!

Snake: Here we go...

Liquid: While your were away parachuting, I actually away with a group of friends, having a disco, in my room! And I left you out of it! Ha ha like a loner! Hmm... actually seemed much funnier at the time...

Snake: Your room wasn't big enough for a disco, you don't have flashing lights either.

Liquid: It's amazing what you can do with some bike lights, a darkened room, a table and a tape of "A Woman's Voice" (click here- http://launch.yahoo.com/album/default.asp?albumID=1082233 )

Otacon: *Worriedly* Right...

Raiden: *Smiles enthusiastically* Right!

Otacon: *To Rose* and he's your Boyfriend..

Rose: Jack be a good boy and shut up!

Raiden: ......

Raiden: .....................

Raiden: *Laughs* Oh you were talking to me, I'm Jack...

Rose: I'm so proud of you, you did it, you got here allll by yourself...

Raiden: Shut up bitch!

Rose: Make me, bitch!

Snake: Cat fight!!! Handbags at 10 paces!

*Rose and Raiden take out their handbags, then hit each other with them, with the other hand slapping at each other*

Rose: *Uppercuts Raiden unconscious*

Otacon: Again, Why do you need that device Snake?

Snake: Alright, alright. One of those saved my life once, you know they can pummel their way though wood? I was unarmed and unprepared when a enemy attacked from behind, he wasn't counting I had on of those and ran away in terror.

Raiden: * Regains consciousness* So it's a weapon?

Snake: Kind of...

Otacon: Why do you need it now, we aren't in any danger.

Snake: Errr, to be prepared.?

Raiden: Right!

Rose: Hey Snake, you really are brave and confident blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda etc .......

Snake: Hell yeah. I'm the best.... No.1....all that and a bag of chips!

*Rose whispers to Snake, He smirks and they make their way out...a buzzing noise is faintly heard in the background...*