Ok another chapter, you lucky, lucky people...Or not... Anyway thanks everyone for your reviews, really nice of you, and people who haven't yet, please review, I'd love you forever... Thanks for the ideas Hyper Guyver any other things you'd like to see in here? I sent the E-mail by the way Siberian Tiger I don't know if it got to you- my provider's playing up. Just have to say that I'm a girl though- at least that's what mummy says...I can understand why you'd think I was male, people say I have a guys sense of humour, is that good or bad?
And about the Van Diesel ...Well you make typos like that at 2am after 4 litres of coke:)... Yes I'm a freak. I think I get mixed up with Diesel Van and Vin Diesel... At 2am I get mixed up with whether to walk though the wall or the door ...and it hurts... a lot.
Also I think I'd better explain about the review saying about gay rats, you see she's my real life friend who's stayed round my house (god help her..)and I have, or had (God bless little Matthew in ratty heaven.) gay rats, so she's not just weird. It seems all my pets are strange... gay rats, lesbian rats, spacko budgie, transvestite murderous budgie and a psycho horny dog. Oh and when I walk in the room my fish leaps about a foot out of it's bowl, just to freak me out.. I'm really not over exaggerating, which really scares me...
Thanks again for the reviews.
*Snake and gang walk to the bar, well Snake and Solidus run rather. Otacon walks faster*
Otacon: Er... I need to use the loo?
Wolf: Oh yes? Well so does he...
*A little wolf cub comes out and pees up Otacon's leg*
Snake: HA! Now you get to see how it feels to get a wet leg!
Sniper Wolf: Now stop it before you get worse, behave yourself!
Otacon: *Looks at feet scared out of his mind, shaking.* Yes Miss. Sorry.
Snake: *Smiles wickedly to himself and bends down to wolf cub...* I'll give you a biscuit if you do it again.
*The wolf pauses and looks thoughtful for a second... and pees up Snake's leg.*
Snake: Damit you son of a... It takes ages to get the smell out!
Otacon: I do your washing Snake!
Snake: It's the principle.
Otacon: Hours doing his washing, cooking and cleaning and this is the thanks I get!
*While Sniper Wolf's not looking Snake smacks the wolf cub's head.*
Snake: *To wolf cub.* Look what you've gone and done now! You've gone and upset her, er I mean him!
*A gang of wolves appear from nowhere, with red eyes and foaming mouths.*
Snake: Mummy! *Quickly pulls box over himself.* Phew, those dumb ass wolves can't get me now. *Gives the wolves the finger, from though the hole in the box.*
Wolf: Grrr. *Lunges at finger, just misses as Snake pulls it inside.*
Snake: Haha. Poor, stupid, dumb animals...
Otacon: Er, Snake the box is made up of cardboard.
Snake: Yeah... The best material in the world... *Strokes box lovingly* So your point is what? But I'll have to warn you now, I won't listen to it... Unless it involves naked women...*Smiles pervertedly.*
Otacon: Stop being so dense. Think carefully about cardboard.
Wolves: *Huddle in a group and think*
Snake: I do all the time. *Loved up face.* Want to know what I got my box for valentines day?
Otacon: ......
Snake: Wrapping paper! It'll give it a new look, it'll be the belle of the ball!
Meryl: You know I've got to say Snake, can you stop getting the box involved when we... you know...
Snake: It's sexy.
Meryl: It's scary...
Snake: Want to know what I got you?
Meryl: Er, why don't we save that... erm... lovely surprise for later?
Wolves: *Think* How could we be so stupid! It's only a thin cardboard box. Let's tear the dip-shit to shreds! C'mon guys!!
*They bound towards the box, fangs out.*
Snake: I'm sure glad I have this box...
*The wolves rip though the box...and Snake...pieces of him are flying everywhere.*
Snake:*Laying in a bloody, battered mess on the floor.* Urghhh...... Otacon, why didn't you warn me? Why are there 3 of you?
Otacon: Its always me who picks up the pieces, if it weren't for me he'd still be figuring out how to get out of that cell. *Hands Snake a ration.*
Snake: *While looking at wolves rushing back again.* Let's just go in yeah!?
*They walk in and see half naked men in fire-fighter outfits... and lots of poles...*
Snake: Oh no it's happened again, I think I'm having flashbacks...
Raiden: Must've been a fire...
Otacon: Were you dropped on your head as a child?!
Raiden: No, I jumped on my head myself... Hehe, it was fun!
Snake: There's two types of strip club this could be, gay or straight. *Takes a second to decide which one is worse.* Please let it be gay!
*Collects weird looks from the gang.*
Snake: Look I have four words to say to you to explain, and I warn you they're not nice words... Middle. Aged. Hormonal. Women. *Shudders.*
Liquid, Otacon, Solidus and even Psycho Mantis: *Shudder.*
Otacon: *Shudders more*
Raiden: What does hormonal mean?
Snake: It means run!
Raiden: Ok! *Runs round the room.*
Snake: *Sighs.* Again, Poor, stupid, dumb animals...
*Bannnngggggggg*
Snake: *Turns around to see a pole vibrating.* Raiden...
Raiden: Owww, uhh, I'm a baguette... Please don't send me to a bakery.
Liquid: Dumb blondes... Uh I mean dumb fake blondes, I'm all natural!
Wolf: Sure you are! I foun-
Liquid: Unless you want a head butt you'd better shut up.
Wolf: -L'Oreal perfect blonde!!!
Liquid: Because I'm worth it! I mean shut up!
Snake: Isn't it "because you're worth it."
Liquid: Why thank you.
Middle aged hormonal women or MAHW: New blood, let's get 'em!!!
*All bounce towards our heroes.*
Sammy aka horny dog: Finally my own kind!
Guys: NOooooooooo!!!
MAHW: Strip, strip, strip, strip, strip!!!
*Cheeky Girl song plays in the background.*
Raiden: I love that song!
*Starts stripping.*
Snake: Disturbing...
Psycho Mantis: Shake it baby!!!
Raiden: *Sings.* We are the cheeky girls, we are the cheeky girls. You are the cheeky boys, you are the cheeky boys. Ooh boys cheeky girls, ooh girls cheeky boys...
*MAHW scream and try to claw up the stage.*
Raiden: *Gets down to his trousers and blushes.* I don't know... I think I've had enough...
MAHW: Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! *Go into frenzy, after which Raiden's left with Pink furry knickers with bunny patterns on them. *
Raiden: *Blushes.* They're my lucky ones...
Snake: *In disgust.* Not any more...
Meryl: Snake you have strange friends.
Mantis: I can do better! Watch out Raiden here I come!!!
Wolf: Urgh, I really don't think so! Beat him my pretties!
*Wolves run at Mantis.*
*Psycho Mantis does the Michael Jackson dance, wolves join in.*
Mantis: Oww!
Wolf: I said beat him, not Beat it!
Snake: Well at least I'm not bored...
Raiden: But I'm plank.
*Snake watches Mantis start to strip.*
Snake: I think we'd better stop him...
Otacon: Hey Mantis! Those chairs aren't floating!
Mantis: Chairs not floating! With me around! Better sort it out... *Goes to sort it out.*
All: Phew! He stopped...
*Shake your Booty plays...*
Raiden: The firemen are striping!!! Why aren't they doing they're job, for shame!
Snake: *Sighs.* Because they're hot, now go to bed!
Raiden: *Hesitantly.*Ok... *Curls into a ball on the ground, and starts snoring. Snake kicks him.*
Snake: Did I say you could snore, you're drowning out the great music!
Raiden: Can I sleep next to your leg, I'm scared of the ghosts.
Snake: It's not the ghosts you should worry about, it's Mantis...
Raiden: *Demented scream.* Arghhh! *Faints.*
Liquid: I, I can't fight it...
Snake: What now?
Liquid: I've got to get on the floor, let's dance! Can't fight the feelings, got to give myself a chance!
*Is pulled to the stage, and starts shaking his thang.*
Liquid: You can, you can do it very well. You're the best in the world, I can tell. Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, Shake your booty! Shake your booty!
Ocelot: And that's why I never took orders from him...
Snake: You can't fight the groove though! *Joins him.*
Liquid and Snake: Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, Shake your booty!
Solidus, Raiden, Wolf, Meryl and Otacon: Aw heck! *Join in.*
Wolves: *Join in.*
*Now nearly everyone is in a line getting down.*
Liquid: I feel so alive!
*Solidus starts to get over excited and his mechanical arms are flying everywhere!*
Solidus: Wooohoooo!
*Smacks Raiden across the room with a flailing arm.*
Raiden: Arghhhh!!!
Solidus: Sorry son...
All: Hurrah!
Me: Don't worry I like you...
Raiden: Arghh!!!
Me: I fell so rejected...
Horny dog: *Sympathetically.* There, there...