Heck, even give me a guideline you want me to follow and maybe I'll do it...
Eidan-kun: Em, we all know you suck as a writer, but that is really--
Em-chan: (GGLLAARREE)
Eidan-kun: ...Whatever.
_______________
_______________
(Finally)
Chapter Six: Are you INSANE?!
(Part I: scene where Kenshin confronts Shishio for the first time, right
before fighting that pointy-headed guy...name please?)
~~~
Kenshin: Why, Shishio? Why this village?
Shishio: Onsen (hotsprings)
Kenshin: (stares blankly at Yumi draped sensually over him and turns to Sano) That's it. He's gay, there's no other explanation
Sano: (nods vigorously)
Shishio: (angry) Hey! Look who's talking Mr. I-wear-pink-twenty-four seven!
Kenshin: HeyheyheyheyHEY. This is not pink. This....(pauses dramatically) is magenta!
Shishio: (muttering) Magenta my butt...
Kenshin: If you insist--(whack)
Shishio: AHH!!!
Yumi: I knew I should have tried my luck in Hakone...
Director: Awright that's it. Friggin' CUT, please, peoples.
~~~
Take two:
Kenshin: Why, Shish--
Shishio: Why what?
Kenshin: ...You have to let me finish the line.
Shishio: Well then darn it, come right out and ask me what you wanted to ask! I have important things to do!
Kenshin: Like wha-- (pauses) (notices lack of woman) Yumi got that role in Baywatch today, didn't she?
Shishio: No duh.
Director: But Shishio, she is your woman, isn't she? I mean, well, why watch her on TV when you can--
Kenshin: AHEM.
Director: (gulp) Yeah, well um...CUT!
Sano: (thoughtfully) Ya know, he has a point...
Saitoh: True dat.
~~~
(Part II: The scene where Kanryuu, the guy who killed Aoshi's comrades, gets his head bashed in by Kenshin)
Kanryuu: Help!
Kenshin: Why don't you ask the money you love so much for help?!
(Gimme a break. I'm translating from the Japanese here...And technically
he calls it "Lord Money", at least in the manga)
YYAAAA(Comes down in sharp arc with his sakabatou...and misses)
Kenshin: (*blinkblink*) What?
Kanryuu: (sigh) Kenshin, how many times do I have to tell you, it's okay to hit me! IT'S IN THE SCRIPT!!
Kenshin: I-I know. I actually meant to that time.
Kanryuu: Hunh?
Kenshin: I-I was gonna get you back for making me snort Coke out my nose in the green room. I was aiming for you-- and-and then an instinct kicked in to stop myself!
Sano: OI! This isn't the OVA, Ken-chan! WAKE UP!
Kenshin: (stares) Him as Tomoe? Eww...
Director: CUTSY PLEEZ.
Take 2:
Kanryuu: Help!
Kenshin: Why don't you ask the money you love so much for help?!
YYAAAA (swings for his head--and gets knocked off his feet)
Hyottoko: Leave Lord Kanryuu alone! (Glances around as though looking for reassurance of lines) He is mighty... and powerful... And--
Aoshi: (sweatdrop) Uh, Hyottoko... You work for me?
Hyottoko: Oh yeah, right...
Hannya: Oh LORD can we hurry this up?! My stomach is REELY STARTING TO CRAMP OVER HERE!
Beshimi: Oh, shut up and take it like a man, Noh-boy!
Shikijou: Need-- knee pads--
Director: (throws down clipboard) Oh for the love of-- CUT!!
Take 3
Kanryuu: Help!
Kenshin: Why don't you ask the money you love so much for help?!
YYAAAA (swings rubber chicken)
Director: ...Okay. Fine. (tightens noose around neck)
Aoshi: WHOA! Somebody get him, he's trying it again--
~~~
Part III: (Scene where Saitoh and Kenshin are fighting at the dojo)
Take 1
Saitoh: Almost time to end this.
Kenshin: Yeah. This series has been too long as it is--
Director: (yells from restraints) CUUUUUT! CUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUUUTT!!! DANG IT PEOPLE, STICK TO THE SCRIPT OR I WILL PERSONALLY FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE AND SLAUGHTER YOU AND ALL YOUR RELATIVES!!! GAAAAAAAHHH-- (proceeds to chew on straight-jacket)
Kenshin: Ya know, I think he's about due for a break
Saitoh: Decaf. Definitely
Take 2
Saitoh: Almost time to end this.
Kenshin: Yeah.
Saitoh: Ya know, I must admit it was fun while it lasted. But like most affairs, it had to come to an end...
Kaoru+cast: WWHHAAAAAAATT?!??!?!?
Saitoh: (smirk) (LHAO)*
Kenshin: SAITOH, you b*****d!!! My manhood is already in question!! NOW YOU'RE GONNA GO AND PULL SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!?!?
Saitoh: You should have seen the look on your face, it was priceless
Kaoru: KENSHIN YOU PLAYER!! YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING?!?!? (enormous bokken appears from nowhere)
Kenshin+Saitoh together: Uh-oh.
Kenshin: (gulp) Um, honey, can't we talk this over??
*(And if anyone thinks Saitoh was serious, you can go-- never mind)
~~~
...Anyone like it?
I thought not. Oh well, I guess if no one likes me then I'll just stop writing... (Winkwink) However, if I were to maybe receive a few REVIEWS and ideas for scenes, then maybe I could neglect some more work and write... Oh I don't know... More outtakes?
Jaa na! Later peoples! Wish me luck, my violin group has a recording today...
Oh and if you want more of the Saitoh/Kenshin fight, you'll have to give me
some lines to work off of, that's a long fight and I never saw the english
translations... Danke! (Wait, what...?)
^_^X