Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Vaughn or anything else related to Alias so don't sue me! The song belongs to Evanescene – amazing band- and I don't own any of that either.
A/N: I know there are so many post 'The Telling' fics out there you're all probably fed up of reading them but I had this idea and had to write it down before it drove me crazy.
Bring Me To Life
Sydney Bristow had been back in LA for almost 2 months now but everything still felt wrong, like she was detached from life itself. Her regular hypno-regression therapy sessions hadn't revealed anything monumental yet - just a few details that meant nothing on their own, such as the name of a wine, the time 10:47am and a grimy warehouse that could be anywhere in the world.
As she walked into the room she sensed something was different, she couldn't say what but she felt relaxed like someone was watching over her, looking after her. She sat down in the surprisingly uncomfortable brown leather chair in front of Dr. Barnett and sent a quick glance towards the one-way mirror.
"Are you ready Sydney?" Dr Barnett asked in her unnervingly calming voice, nice to know some things didn't change Sydney thought grimly.
"Yes" She said sinking back into the chair and counting back from ten in her head as she had been taught, listening to the distant sound of Barnett's voice.
When Sydney opened her eyes again she took a minute to take in her surroundings, the room was dull and non-descript but the man in front of her was not, well not to her anyway. Arvin Sloane looked at her and there was laughter in his eyes but underneath that there was sadness so deep it almost mirrored the pain in her own life. He didn't say anything just sat there and looked at her with this disturbingly human expression on his face, a glass of wine in his hand. She was tied to a chair with ropes and there was nothing else in the room, not even a window so she had no way of gauging the time or the climate.
Darkness ate the memory and Sydney was back in the CIA therapy room with its equally bland non-descript décor.
"It was Sloane" Sydney said matter-of-factly and Barnett nodded slightly.
"I think we've had quite a successful session today, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow"
"I'll see you then" Sydney said standing and leaving the room
Behind the one way mirror Vaughn stood full of hatred for Arvin Sloane, couldn't the man just leave Sydney alone? Hadn't she suffered enough? He had an overwhelming urge to go and talk to Sydney, the need to know that she was ok still one of his strongest motivators, but he didn't want to push her. He was very aware she had been avoiding him since their return to LA; in fact she had distanced herself from him in Hong Kong as soon as she had seen his ring. The feeling of guilt he now carried around with him was unbelievable, he had given up on her and he shouldn't have, if only he had waited a few more months things could have been so different.
Sydney returned to the musty flat she now called home and although it didn't feel like home it was, by now, familiar. It had three rooms; a bathroom, bedroom and living room/kitchen - just enough to survive on. The majority of the belongings her father and Vaughn had put into storage bought back too many memories that were still painful for her so only a few of them decorated the rooms. She was about to begin her nightly ritual of showering, cleaning her teeth etc and taking the cocktail of sleeping drugs that had been prescribed to her by medical services when there was a knock at the door.
That's strange, Sydney thought, only two people had her address here and they wouldn't drop by without a warning or an invitation. She pulled the gun- that she now kept on her person almost constantly- from the waistband of her trousers and clicked off the safety as she cautiously approached the door. She opened it slowly keeping the chain on and was met with unforgettable green eyes. Eyes that had seen into the very depths of her soul, even when she was guarding her emotions from everyone else these were the eyes that saw right through her, knew every part of her, and still loved her.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
"Vaughn" Sydney said coming back from her reverie and putting the gun away quickly and taking the chain off
"Hey" he gave a small smile as she motioned for him to step inside
He found himself in a dark corridor with grimy cream/brown walls and a dirty carpet, he looked around and was over come with sadness at what she had been reduced to, but somewhere inside of him he knew she would bounce back, somehow she always managed to.
"It's not much but I'm still working on it, come through and sit down" Syd led the way into the living room. The walls were painted a deep green and underneath the air freshener the room still smelt of wet paint. There was a black leather sofa that was new and pristine in the middle of the room, it looked strangely out of place amongst all the other worn mismatched pieces furniture. On it were numerous pieces of paper covered with his neat handwriting that he recognised to be the file he had relentlessly compiled on anything related to her disappearance. She quickly put it all into one pile and slid it into a draw in an antique looking desk. He sat and she hurried around trying to make the place look more respectable muttering things like 'I wasn't expecting company' and 'Sorry it's such a state'
"Syd calm down, it's ok honestly" Vaughn said kindly and she froze turning to look at him as if seeing him for the first time, there in her new apartment.
"Um, do you want something to drink?"
"Coffee would be nice" Vaughn smiled "I'll get it if you want" He made as if to stand but Sydney quickly shook her head
"No it's alright make yourself comfortable it won't take a minute"
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home
The whole time Sydney was making the coffee she couldn't stop glancing across the breakfast bar into the living area, not quite believing that Vaughn was here and wondering why he was, thrown for a loop as a piece of her past collided so completely with the present she didn't want to believe was real.
She carried the two cups of coffee over and ser them on the table; hers was heavy on the sugar, she looked speculatively at Vaughn.
"I just came by to see how you were doing, we haven't really had a chance to talk since you … came back" Vaughn said meaning 'you wouldn't believe how much I've missed you, knowing you are still here, still alive, back in LA but that you don't want to talk to me has been hell'.
"Well you I'm sure you know what it's been like, I've been busy with therapy and paperwork" Sydney said smiling shyly 'I've been trying to avoid you and this conversation as long as possible because seeing you and knowing your not mine breaks my heart'.
Wake me up
Wake me up inside
I can't wake up
Wake me up inside
Save me
Call my name and save me from the dark
"I watched your session today, you seem to be making some progress" Vaughn said and Sydney was shocked for a minute
"Yeah, um today was the first real memory I've had, nothing else I've remembered has made any sense"
"At least you've started now, maybe it'll be easier next time" Vaughn said kindly
"Maybe, how's Donovan?" Sydney asked the first thing that came to mind desperate to change the subject
"Donny? He's fine still as spoilt and unfit as ever" Vaughn laughed and Sydney smiled
"I was thinking of getting a dog or something, be good for company"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah"
They looked at each other and smiled just sitting together and talking felt so right and it was something they had both missed whether the time apart was remembered or not. Suddenly Sydney realised how close they were, so close she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face, so close if she moved she would brush her body against his, so close she could see the tiny flecks of gold in his eyes.
Vaughn realised it too and they moved towards each other in unison and their lips came crashing together, their souls pouring into each other and bringing to life the old feelings. Sydney felt a spark of emotion in the void that used to be her heart; she could suddenly feel things, emotions she hadn't experienced since the night she disappeared. Just one kiss from Vaughn had begun the process of breathing life back into her tired body, had bought the colour and meaning back into her world.
Wake me up
Bid my blood to run
I can't wake up
Before I come undone
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become
Sydney pulled back finally, in need of air, trying to absorb all the wonderful sensations filling her senses.
"Syd I shouldn't I mean, well I'm married" Vaughn started to protest but even to him it sounded pathetic
"Sssh" Sydney said placing a finger over his lips and leaning forward for another kiss "Don't think, just feel, if only for tonight Vaughn, I need you, I need this" Sydney whispered the last confessions against his lips before capturing them once again with her own.
Now that I know what I'm without you can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life
Bring me to life
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life
Vaughn closed his eyes and gave himself over to the kiss and he too was consumed by the passion and fire that was running through her veins, fuelling the ever burning fire between them. Sydney revelled in his touch as he began to respond to her kisses and ran his fingers over her body leaving a trail of flames behind.
Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.
All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me
"I need this too, I need you" Vaughn gave in, fleetingly wondering how he could ever have settled for someone less than the woman in his arms before the fire consumed him again and rational thought left as they plunged head first into blissful oblivion.
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
It may only be one night, and they both knew that was all it could be for now, but it was a night of closure and healing for both of them, the restoring of life and the giving of hope through the knowledge that they would always have each other.
Don't let me die here
There must be something wrong.
Bring me to life
fin.
Please review, thanks for reading
-AA