AN: Well, it's been a while since I got the last chapter out. Sorry it's
taken so long but I was stuck for a while wondering between which IY
episodes I should set this chapter. Anyway, thanks to reviewers and
everyone else who commented because I think they did help motivate me into
spinning out the next chapter despite how long it was in coming.
And special thanks to Claudia and Alexis for beta reading this chapter and catching the mistakes that I missed. They're efforts are much appreciated by me and, I'm sure, by everyone who gets to read an error-free chapter! (^^)
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CHAPTER 5: Heart's Doubts
There was something about the darkness that lay beyond in the forest that called to her, beckoning with a promise of comfort within the shadows cast by the moonlight streaming from above. It was a mysterious feeling, something nameless that drew her attention. That darkness seemed much more inviting than the flickering flames of the campfire as she rose, taking a few steps towards the shadowy depths of the forest.
"Kagome-chan? Where are you going?"
Kagome turned at the sound of Sango's voice to see her and the others gathered around the campfire staring at her worriedly. Kagome didn't like making Miroku, Sango, Shippou, and Inuyasha so concerned about her so she tried her best to put on a reassuring smile.
"Well," Kagome said as easily as she could, "I thought I'd go for a little walk."
"Kagome-sama," Miroku began, "I advise against that. It's dangerous."
"I won't go far," Kagome told them. "I just need to clear my head. Really," she asserted at the exchanged glances, "I'll be fine."
"As long as you don't go too far away," Sango said cautiously.
"At the very least," added Miroku, "stay in sight of the campfire. That way, you'll have its light to guide you back."
"Be careful," Shippou said worriedly.
"Don't worry," Kagome said with a little smile. "I will."
"I'll go with you," Inuyasha huffed suddenly as he rose. "If there's any trouble-"
"No!" went Kagome sharply, freezing Inuyasha in his tracks. At the hurt expression that flickered over his face briefly, she softened her tone. "I just need some time to myself. That's why I want to go alone. I'll be fine and I promise not to stray too far. Just like Miroku-sama said, I'll make sure I keep in sight of the fire so I don't get lost."
Then, before anyone could say another word, she was gone. Inuyasha took a step after her but was halted by a hand placed on his shoulder. Turning he saw Miroku give him a little shake of his head.
"I think it would be best to leave her alone for a while," Miroku advised.
"What would you know about it?" Inuyasha shook off the hand in irritation. "She's not thinking straight. She could get in trouble if she's not paying attention."
"As long as she doesn't stray too far," Sango spoke up, "I don't think she'll run into any trouble."
"And," added Miroku, "it's precisely because Kagome-sama's not thinking straight that you should leave her alone."
"Huh?" Inuyasha glared. "That makes no sense at all!"
Miroku sighed. "I'm saying that, with all that's happened recently, Kagome- sama's emotions are upset and she needs some time to sort them out. And it's something she'll more easily do if she doesn't have us around watching her with worried looks."
"That's crazy," Inuyasha snorted. "What difference does it make if she thinks about all that stuff whether she's with us or not?"
"I guess it's just too difficult for Inuyasha to understand," Shippou sighed, shaking his head sadly.
"Shut up!" he yelled, reaching over to bop him on the head.
"Ow!" Shippou glared. "What did you do that for?"
"Now, now," Miroku broke in before it could escalate into one of their childish fights. "Inuyasha, I can understand you're worried about Kagome- sama but-"
"Feh," Inuyasha snorted, crossing his arms. "I'm not worried."
Miroku ignored that. "In any case, just give her some time. You know Kikyou-sama is a sore point with her."
Inuyasha stiffened but said nothing.
"And," Miroku continued, "nearly being killed plus having the chunk of Shikon no Tama she was carrying stolen like that, it's understandable why she's feeling so badly. So she needs some time apart to think things through, settle her emotions, and hopefully she'll be feeling a little better when she gets back."
"That's right," Shippou piped up. "So you better be nice to her or else she might get mad and go home again!"
"Who asked you?" Inuyasha growled at Shippou.
"Well," Sango sighed, "we could all use some time to calm down. I'm not exactly feeling my best either."
"Yes," agreed Miroku. His mouth tightened. "That was certainly a nefarious trap of Naraku's, using those vines to cast a spell over us, showing us the illusions of the darker part of our hearts."
A heavy atmosphere descended upon the group as past reminiscences clouded their thoughts. Miroku shrugged, sinking down onto the ground with a light yawn, dispelling the solemn aura with his lighthearted words.
"Oh, well. I'm exhausted." Miroku lay down on his side. "Wake me when it's time to go."
"Houshi-sama." Sango's voice was exasperated, though she soon mimicked his actions.
With a glance at them, Shippou lay down too and soon succumbed to a sleep brought about by exhaustion from the night's events.
Inuyasha, however, didn't feel restful enough to follow them into slumber and turned his back to the reclined forms as well as the fire. Arms crossed, he stared out into the dark forest, a scowl marring his features as he resisted the urge to rush after Kagome. Though part of him wanted to give in, the words of the others echoed in his head, telling him to leave her alone, and so he stayed put. His mind, however, was a restless thing.
Question plagued him about the details concerning the confrontation between Kiyou and Kagome after he'd broken free of Naraku's illusion trap and found them. Kagome had refused to speak of the matter, which only bothered him more and made him feel even more weighed down with guilt. Guilt because, although it was obvious that Kikyou had done something terrible to Kagome no matter how much he wished otherwise, Inuyasha had been unable to do anything because he couldn't bring himself to lift a hand against Kikyou. And that's what was worrying him.
How could he protect Kagome if the one trying to harm her was Kikyou?
There was the conflict in his heart. It scared him to realize how close he had come to succumbing to Naraku's illusion of the past, of Kikyou, and how badly he had wanted to be there for her at the risk of all else. He had come close to not breaking free and being able to help the others. And who knew what might have happened if he hadn't been able to do it and arrived at Kagome's side when he did?
Kikyou was his responsibility and it placed him at fault for anything she did to Kagome, he felt this very strongly. And it threw his mind in turmoil because he didn't know how to resolve it. He didn't want to hurt Kikyou but he also didn't want her to hurt Kagome who was, he realized, just as important to him, if not more so.
So what should he do about it?
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Kagome sighed as she sat down on a large boulder, shrouded in the dark folds of the forest with the fire from camp a tiny pinprick of light in the distance. And just as the shadows fell over her, so did her emotions.
She regretted causing everyone worry, knew they had so many questions about what had happened between her and Kikyou, especially Inuyasha. But it wasn't something she could talk about with them, not with the image Naraku's illusion trap had shown her. The trap that revealed a person's darkest doubts and fears had shown her Inuyasha and Kikyou kissing, him choosing her over Kagome. It hurt even now to remember it as well as to think of how selfish it was to have that shown to her when it could have been so many other things. After all, shouldn't she have been more worried about the lives of her friends instead of the status or non-status of her relationship with Inuyasha?
And aside from her doubts about the relationship between those two and what it meant to herself was the sense of betrayal she felt towards Kikyou. It was silly perhaps, but she had gone there to try and help Kikyou only to have her life in danger from the one she had tried to rescue! Added to that was how useless and guilty she felt at how easily Kikyou had taken the chunk of Shikon no Tama that everyone had worked so hard for.
She sighed heavily, feeling unbearably tired. Then she stiffened, casting a wary look about.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
Sesshoumaru's form glided out of the darkness, seeming to materialize out of nowhere in an impressive display as he stopped a few feet away from her. He looked as imperious as ever, Kagome thought as she examined him. Her eyes fell to the sword at his waist and for a brief moment she wondered why, after all the times she'd seen him fighting, she couldn't recollect a time when he had drawn it. But the thought was fleeting and slipped from her mind as discomfort overtook her at the way he stared down at her with an unreadable gaze while moonlight and shadows played with the pale shades of his hair.
"Well," she said when he gave no answer. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Indeed it had, Sesshoumaru thought as he gazed at her. The last he'd seen of her had been that encounter shortly after that debacle with Naraku and his failed attempts to gain the Tetsusaiga from Inuyasha. After that, he had decided once again to stay away from her, still confused by his odd reactions to her. Besides, he had tried to discover the mystery about her powers and if they were the cause for his strange behavior but since she had indicated she had no knowledge concerning it, and he did not believe she lied, it was pointless for him to have any further contact with her.
So then, just why was it that he found himself with her once again?
"How have you been?" Kagome asked casually when the silence between them had stretched on too long for her liking. She tilted her head, eyeing him a little suspiciously. "You haven't had any more dealings with Naraku, have you? Because, frankly, I've had my fill of him for the week so if you're here doing some sort of business for him, go away and come back later."
Despite her odd way of phrasing things, he understood what she meant and gave her a condescending look. "I, Sesshoumaru, do business for no one other than myself."
Kagome just shrugged. "Sorry," she said offhandedly.
Sesshoumaru suppressed a frown. She was acting oddly. In all of their previous encounters, she had always shown at least a hint of fear but this night, she had shown none. As he observed her more closely, she seemed unlike her usual fiery self. Instead, weariness and exhaustion seemed to hang about her as well as a lack of spirit, which disturbed him for some strange reason. And judging from her topic of conversation, he had an inkling as to what that reason was.
"Naraku," he said tonelessly, silently cursing the bastard whom he still owed for the insult done to him.
"Yeah." Kagome's tone was listless. "You're better off avoiding him if you can. I think he's much stronger now than the last time you saw him."
"Stronger?" That definitely caught Sesshoumaru's attention. "How?"
"Well, let's just say that, if combining his body with other youkai makes him stronger, then he's definitely stronger."
"You know this for fact?"
"I was there. Saw it myself up close and personal."
"You did?" He didn't quite manage to conceal his surprise.
"Yeah. Sort of an accident but I saw it either way."
Silence fell between them again. As much as Sesshoumaru enjoyed quiet, this one bothered him for he felt that she was not the type for it, not for long. And this one bordered on being morose which was hardly enjoyable being in the presence of. Plus, it was obvious that her thoughts were distant and, as they consumed her, it almost appeared to him as if she had forgotten all about him.
Sesshoumaru didn't like to be forgotten.
"What happened?" he asked abruptly, breaking the silence that grated oddly on his usual steely nerves.
Kagome blinked, startled as her gaze focused on him as if surprised to see him there. Sesshoumaru noted it grimly. Apparently she really had forgotten his presence! The knowledge irritated him immensely as his gold eyes glinted at her dangerously.
But Kagome either didn't notice or was unconcerned as she sighed. "Well, a lot happened since the last time I saw you. I don't even know where to begin." She tilted her head. "Well, there's a new member to our traveling group - a youkai exterminator."
"Taijiya," Sesshoumaru stated. "Do you think such news worries one such as I, Sesshoumaru?"
A tiny smile lifted the corners of her mouth. "Hardly." She shrugged. "It's just kind of interesting, that's all. Sango-chan - the Taijiya - was fooled by Naraku too." She gave him a speculative glance. "Those tricked by Naraku seemed to be coming together."
Sesshoumaru's gaze was cold. "Do not think that I, Sesshoumaru, need to lower myself to work with humans."
"It was just a thought." She grinned a little. "But I admit it's a bad one. With you and Inuyasha on the same team bickering as much as you do, we'd probably be safer just surrendering to whatever Naraku has planned without a fight."
Though he masked it well, Sesshoumaru was surprised. "You are joking."
"A little." She sighed. "After the night I've had, I need some humor to keep me sane."
"And you did not answer my question," said Sesshoumaru, displeased that he'd only now realized he'd been sidetracked from his previous inquiry. "What is it that has happened?"
Kagome gave him a considering glance, wondering what, if anything she should tell him. And why was he asking anyway? Surely, it couldn't be out of concern for her welfare? She didn't think so, not with the indifferent expression upon his features as he gazed down at her. But did it matter why he asked? Not answering his question would undoubtedly make him angry and she didn't want that, not when he seemed content for the moment with just talking. She wasn't up to a fight and didn't want to cry out for help and have Inuyasha and the others getting involved in one either after all they'd just been through. And to go against Sesshoumaru, who seemed in top shape, before they'd had time to emotionally recover could be fatally detrimental.
Besides, she wasn't the type of person who liked holding things in and talking about it would probably be good, helping to her organize her own thoughts. And since she didn't want to speak of what happened to the others, Inuyasha in particular, who else was there? Also, Kagome was sure that this conversation would never repeated since Sesshoumaru was obviously the closemouthed type and she couldn't picture him having a peaceful conversation discussing it with Inuyasha or anyone else either. And so, Kagome conceded, telling a brief version of things to a silent Sesshoumaru of what had happened concerning Naraku, his new body, Kikyou, and the most recent illusion trap, feeling a bit more relaxed in mind when she had finished her tale.
"You're a fool," was Sesshoumaru's immediate words when she was done.
"Excuse me?" Her eyes narrowed at him as irritation stole upon her. "What did you say?"
He almost smirked at the way she glared at him, no longer listless. "Perhaps you are even more of a fool than I thought if you truly need I, Sesshoumaru, to repeat my words."
Kagome clenched her jaw as her temper spiked, resisting the urge to scream like she wanted to because she knew Inuyasha would hear and come running. She tried to keep in mind that she wanted the battle-minded brothers to keep their distance to avoid fighting and possible death for one or both of them. Although she had a brief moment to wonder why she was worried about the youkai lord, she quickly shook the uncomfortable thought away. After all, it should only be Inuyasha that she worried about, right?
"Why are you here anyway?" Kagome asked through clenched teeth. "There has to be a reason since I doubt you just came here to play psychiatrist for me."
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed at the odd word he'd never heard before. Was she insulting him?
"If you wanted another fight with Inuyasha," Kagome continued heatedly, "you wouldn't be wasting your time with me. So how come you're here?"
Why, indeed? Sesshoumaru couldn't help wondering about that as well. It was an odd impulse that had drawn him out here before he could think on it and it worried him though he kept his features neutral as he replied, "I am merely biding my time until I retrieve something of mine. It is by chance only that your path crossed with mine."
"Chance?" Kagome was silent a moment before she asked him quietly, "Is your sense of smell as good as Inuyasha's?"
Sesshoumaru became irritated at the sudden odd question. "You dare to imply that I, Sesshoumaru, am lacking in something compared to that hanyou?"
"So that's a 'yes.'" Her head tilted as she regarded him. "Since your sense of smell is as good as, or even better than, Inuyasha's then you must have been able to pick up my scent quite a while ago."
Sesshoumaru stiffened, not liking the way her reasoning was going.
"That means," Kagome continued, "you knew where I was, could have easily avoided me if you wanted to. But you didn't. Why?"
Sesshoumaru's heart quickened as he suddenly felt threatened, pressured, and wanted only to have her stop the direction her questioning was going even though he wasn't sure exactly what direction it was. He merely had a feeling that it would bode ill and searched for something to stop it.
"What's this?" Kagome asked, startled as she automatically caught the tiny object tossed at her. She blinked in confusion. "An aspirin bottle?" Her eyes widened. "From back then?"
"Yes." He bit back the urge to growl defensively, replying with as much indifference as he could muster. "It belongs to you, does it not? It's only fitting to return that object as recompense to one who offered aid."
"But you tried to kill me after that." Her tone was sardonic. "I hardly call that offering recompense."
"One has nothing to do with the other."
"Maybe not." Her expression was doubtful. "But you wouldn't have been able to return it to me as 'recompense' if you killed me first, now could you?"
"It's a simple matter to return an object by placing it on the dead body."
"Okay." Kagome grimaced. "Not very comforting."
"It was not meant to be."
"Whatever." Kagome rolled her eyes. "But we've had other encounters before. Why didn't you give it back to me at an earlier one?"
Sesshoumaru fell silent, glaring at her.
She should back down, she knew, but she didn't. It was almost as if she was possessed by an unnamable something that kept urging her to prod him until she got an answer, no matter how potentially dangerous it was.
"Why?" she persisted. "Why now instead of then? Why?"
"I forgot," he said suddenly, nearly hissing.
"Forgot?" She eyed him doubtfully. He didn't seem like the forgetting type. "You're admitting to a fault like that."
"Yes." It was better than the alternative though he wasn't quite sure what that was. Nevertheless, he drew himself up with as much dignity as he could. "It is a simple matter. Now the object has been returned and it is no longer a matter of any concern."
There was something more to it, but she let it go. It really was stupid to keep poking at him when she was trying to avoid an angry explosion. Although she did think the action was kind of cute since it was so unexpected, of course she couldn't tell him that as she had the strong feeling he wouldn't appreciate it. Besides, for all she knew, it was some weird youkai reasoning that she wouldn't be able to understand no matter how much she tried. Youkai and human; really, what were the differences between them?
"Do youkai love?"
It was hard to tell who was most startled by the question. Well, no, actually she was the most obviously startled for voicing it but she swore Sesshoumaru's indifferent mask dropped a split-second in one suprised moment at having such an odd question directed towards him. And though a blush rose in her face at her question and because of who she'd aimed it at, Kagome didn't back down. She wanted to know and who better to ask than a full youkai? Kirara couldn't speak human and Shippou didn't count since he was still so young. There was no one else to ask.
"Well?" Kagome prompted. "Don't you know?"
"Of course," he said immediately, only to regret how hastily the words came in his irritation with the aspersion cast upon his intelligence. Truly, the human had a knack for arousing his temper.
"'Of course' you know," she looked doubtful, "or 'of course' youkai love?"
"Both." He didn't like the subject but he tried not to let it show. He'd already replied and it would be cowardly to back out of the conversation now. "Though only the weaker youkai succumb to such foolishness."
"Really?" She frowned. "Didn't your father love a human woman enough to marry her? Does that mean you think he was a fool too?"
"Of course he was a fool," he replied shortly. "He allowed his judgment to be clouded by a human and hastened his death."
"I see," she said reflectively as she looked at him. "So I take it that you're going to avoid falling in love."
"I am not weak." His expression bordered on scathing. "Nor a fool."
"I don't really think being able to love is foolish." Her gaze wandered in the direction of the distant campfire and she grimaced. "Well, sometimes it is, I guess." She sighed. "Maybe it's a good thing some youkai don't have the ability for it."
"You think that I, Sesshoumaru, am lacking in this ability?" He was offended by her statement, which was odd since he certainly didn't want such weak emotions attributed to him, did he?
"I don't know," Kagome answered. "But you just said that it was foolish so I wouldn't think you'd care if you couldn't fall in love."
"I could if I so chose to." Why was he defending himself so suddenly like this? It was strange and he hastened to add, "But I wouldn't make such a choice. Having the ability to do something does not require that one should actually do it."
"I suppose so." She suddenly looked amused. "Well, this is one topic I certainly never thought I'd be discussing with you. It's really strange."
He felt oddly relieved that he wasn't the only one who thought so, although he would be insulted if she had thought that he spoke on such a useless subject often enough to be accustomed to it. Of course, he had never imagined that he'd be holding such an unappealing conversation that bordered on offending his sensibilities with anyone, human or not. It was certainly a curious event.
"Why is it that you sought such a conversation with I, Sesshoumaru?" he asked abruptly.
"Well, I didn't really seek it."
"You did," he stated, all but calling her a liar with his tone.
Her eyes narrowed in annoyance. "The question just kind of slipped from my mouth before I could think about it. Trust me, a conversation about feelings isn't something I'd normally put you on my top ten list of people to talk to."
"Then why did you do so?" He ignored her odd speech of top ten something, determined not to let the human sidetrack him from his question again.
"Why?" She puzzled over it for a moment. "Well, maybe because of Inuyasha."
"What does that hanyou have to do with it?" Sesshoumaru was inexplicably annoyed.
"He wants to be a full youkai."
"More foolishness that. It's a useless quest for that hanyou to undertake."
"Actually, I think Inuyasha may be able to do it one day." Her expression turned a bit wistful. "If it's him, he can probably do it."
"But you do not approve." He kept the curiosity from his face. "Why?"
"Well, I believe that people are born a certain way for a reason." She shrugged. "I worry that if Inuyasha turns full youkai, he'll lose the part of himself that makes him who he is."
"And you are fond of that part, even though it is weak?" He was displeased, though he hid it well.
"I don't really think it's weak. For all his faults, Inuyasha has a good heart and I believe that it's part of what gives him his strength, though he doesn't realize it." She was quiet for a moment. "I haven't met many nice youkai and it makes me think they tend to lack the something that Inuyasha has that lets him win over them in fights. And if Inuyasha becomes a true youkai, then he'll lose that something that gives him that special edge. I don't want to see that happen." She frowned suddenly. "And I really don't know why I'm telling you all this."
She rose to her feet suddenly, placing the empty aspirin bottle on the boulder she had just vacated. She looked at him, suddenly feeling awkward at the realization that she had been almost completely comfortable in his presence this night. It was very unusual. But she didn't have time to ponder it because she knew that Inuyasha or the others would come looking for her shortly if she didn't return soon.
"You didn't have to return it," Kagome said as he glanced at the bottle. "It's really not that important."
"You are leaving it?"
"Well, my clothes don't leave a lot of room to hide it and it would look strange if I suddenly return carrying an empty aspirin bottle." She shrugged uncomfortably. "And your scent is probably still on it and I don't feel like having Inuyasha pick it up and questioning me about it."
A thought occurred to him. "You did not tell that hanyou about me. Why?"
"What would be the point?" An eyebrow arched. "Do you tell anyone else about seeing me outside of fighting encounters?"
To that, Sesshoumaru fell silent.
"Now, I really have to be getting back before someone comes looking for me." She hesitated, discomfort creeping over her as she spoke, wondering what made her say them as the words came almost from out of nowhere. "You know, I doubt you'll ever need to but, if there ever comes a time when you need someone to listen to something you have to say just like you listened to me, well," she shrugged, nearly embarrassed, "I can be a good listener."
Sesshoumaru just blinked at her.
"Well, I've got to go," she said in a rush, feeling flustered as she whirled towards the campfire. Then she stopped and turned back to face him, smiling with all the sincerity and gratitude in her heart. "Thank you."
She whirled again, tramping through the dark forest as she left him behind, heading towards that pinprick of light that beckoned her as she homed in on it. She walked as quickly and safely as she could manage while trying to calm her heartbeat that had suddenly become so unsteady. But, unsteady heartbeat or not, she did feel better than she had prior to her encounter with the youkai lord and she was secretly grateful to him. The talking had helped, though she still had some doubts, and she felt closer to being back to her usual self by the time she made it to the campsite.
"Took you long enough."
Kagome whirled with a startled gasp, relaxing when she beheld the figure behind her, leaning with his arms crossed against a tree as he glared at her grumpily. She suppressed a smile at the look in his on his face, knowing he'd been worried about her and waiting until she came back. Feeling a little guilty all of a sudden, she tucked her hands, which had clutched the aspirin bottle and no doubt carried some of Sesshoumaru's scent, behind her and tried to keep some distance between her and Inuyasha, hoping he wouldn't smell anything unusual.
"Inuyasha," she said in a lightly scolding tone. "Don't surprise me like that. I nearly had a heart attack."
"Feh," he snorted, inwardly relieved that she seemed more at ease now. "It wouldn't have happened if you'd been paying more attention. You passed right by me without even noticing." It irritated him now to think about it. "It's your own fault."
Kagome frowned at him but was distracted by a heavy sigh coming from the direction of the fire. She turned her gaze to find Miroku sitting up and gazing at them blearily.
"Can you two get some rest, please?" Miroku asked. "It's been a long day and I think we'll all be more up to a discussion in the morning after some rest." With that, he laid back down. "Good night."
Inuyasha just grunted. "You'd better get some sleep too, Kagome." He kept his gaze averted. "I don't want you lagging behind when we start searching for more Shikon shards."
She smiled a little at the hidden concern in those brusque words. Still, her brows drew together in frown as she apologized softly, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Inuyasha's expression was startled.
"For a lot of things." She shrugged. "For letting the Shikon no Tama get stolen."
"Bah," he said disgustedly. "That's just useless worrying." He sank down until he was sitting down, back against the tree. "Just go get some sleep."
She stood there for a moment, observing him as he closed his eyes as if shutting out everything else, including any more apologies she might have tried to make. In his own brusque way, she felt that he was trying to offer her comfort, which was sweet since she knew he felt guilty about the events that had happened even though he really wasn't the one at fault for them. There were still lots of unresolved issues that needed to be addressed, but she relaxed, feeling better in knowing that they didn't all have to be dealt with that night.
So, with a little smile curling her lips, she went to do as Inuyasha said, picking a sleeping spot to take up until the next morning brought with it whatever would come.
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In the distance, Sesshoumaru strode away further from the place where he had idled with that human and discussed things he had never thought he would speak of. Remnants of the conversation lay on his mind, pestering him into an irritated mood until he was almost tempted to go back and try to eliminate the one responsible for causing it.
But he didn't.
Her odd treatment of him, her last words, and the final smile she had thrown him nagged at him in a worrisome way that made him feel that the best course of action would be to stay away. Besides, his purpose for seeking dealings with her was done as he had given her back that strange foreign container though she had ended up discarding it. There were no further reasons for him to involve himself with her any further. No, the best thing would be to go their separate paths, especially since they had different goals.
That was so, he thought as he recalled one of his. Human and youkai had different goals, different desires, and his was one that had nothing to do with human girls with their odd ways of speech. The knowledge steadied his resolution as he continued striding deeper into the depths of the dark forests.
After all, he had to see a man about a new sword.
And special thanks to Claudia and Alexis for beta reading this chapter and catching the mistakes that I missed. They're efforts are much appreciated by me and, I'm sure, by everyone who gets to read an error-free chapter! (^^)
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CHAPTER 5: Heart's Doubts
There was something about the darkness that lay beyond in the forest that called to her, beckoning with a promise of comfort within the shadows cast by the moonlight streaming from above. It was a mysterious feeling, something nameless that drew her attention. That darkness seemed much more inviting than the flickering flames of the campfire as she rose, taking a few steps towards the shadowy depths of the forest.
"Kagome-chan? Where are you going?"
Kagome turned at the sound of Sango's voice to see her and the others gathered around the campfire staring at her worriedly. Kagome didn't like making Miroku, Sango, Shippou, and Inuyasha so concerned about her so she tried her best to put on a reassuring smile.
"Well," Kagome said as easily as she could, "I thought I'd go for a little walk."
"Kagome-sama," Miroku began, "I advise against that. It's dangerous."
"I won't go far," Kagome told them. "I just need to clear my head. Really," she asserted at the exchanged glances, "I'll be fine."
"As long as you don't go too far away," Sango said cautiously.
"At the very least," added Miroku, "stay in sight of the campfire. That way, you'll have its light to guide you back."
"Be careful," Shippou said worriedly.
"Don't worry," Kagome said with a little smile. "I will."
"I'll go with you," Inuyasha huffed suddenly as he rose. "If there's any trouble-"
"No!" went Kagome sharply, freezing Inuyasha in his tracks. At the hurt expression that flickered over his face briefly, she softened her tone. "I just need some time to myself. That's why I want to go alone. I'll be fine and I promise not to stray too far. Just like Miroku-sama said, I'll make sure I keep in sight of the fire so I don't get lost."
Then, before anyone could say another word, she was gone. Inuyasha took a step after her but was halted by a hand placed on his shoulder. Turning he saw Miroku give him a little shake of his head.
"I think it would be best to leave her alone for a while," Miroku advised.
"What would you know about it?" Inuyasha shook off the hand in irritation. "She's not thinking straight. She could get in trouble if she's not paying attention."
"As long as she doesn't stray too far," Sango spoke up, "I don't think she'll run into any trouble."
"And," added Miroku, "it's precisely because Kagome-sama's not thinking straight that you should leave her alone."
"Huh?" Inuyasha glared. "That makes no sense at all!"
Miroku sighed. "I'm saying that, with all that's happened recently, Kagome- sama's emotions are upset and she needs some time to sort them out. And it's something she'll more easily do if she doesn't have us around watching her with worried looks."
"That's crazy," Inuyasha snorted. "What difference does it make if she thinks about all that stuff whether she's with us or not?"
"I guess it's just too difficult for Inuyasha to understand," Shippou sighed, shaking his head sadly.
"Shut up!" he yelled, reaching over to bop him on the head.
"Ow!" Shippou glared. "What did you do that for?"
"Now, now," Miroku broke in before it could escalate into one of their childish fights. "Inuyasha, I can understand you're worried about Kagome- sama but-"
"Feh," Inuyasha snorted, crossing his arms. "I'm not worried."
Miroku ignored that. "In any case, just give her some time. You know Kikyou-sama is a sore point with her."
Inuyasha stiffened but said nothing.
"And," Miroku continued, "nearly being killed plus having the chunk of Shikon no Tama she was carrying stolen like that, it's understandable why she's feeling so badly. So she needs some time apart to think things through, settle her emotions, and hopefully she'll be feeling a little better when she gets back."
"That's right," Shippou piped up. "So you better be nice to her or else she might get mad and go home again!"
"Who asked you?" Inuyasha growled at Shippou.
"Well," Sango sighed, "we could all use some time to calm down. I'm not exactly feeling my best either."
"Yes," agreed Miroku. His mouth tightened. "That was certainly a nefarious trap of Naraku's, using those vines to cast a spell over us, showing us the illusions of the darker part of our hearts."
A heavy atmosphere descended upon the group as past reminiscences clouded their thoughts. Miroku shrugged, sinking down onto the ground with a light yawn, dispelling the solemn aura with his lighthearted words.
"Oh, well. I'm exhausted." Miroku lay down on his side. "Wake me when it's time to go."
"Houshi-sama." Sango's voice was exasperated, though she soon mimicked his actions.
With a glance at them, Shippou lay down too and soon succumbed to a sleep brought about by exhaustion from the night's events.
Inuyasha, however, didn't feel restful enough to follow them into slumber and turned his back to the reclined forms as well as the fire. Arms crossed, he stared out into the dark forest, a scowl marring his features as he resisted the urge to rush after Kagome. Though part of him wanted to give in, the words of the others echoed in his head, telling him to leave her alone, and so he stayed put. His mind, however, was a restless thing.
Question plagued him about the details concerning the confrontation between Kiyou and Kagome after he'd broken free of Naraku's illusion trap and found them. Kagome had refused to speak of the matter, which only bothered him more and made him feel even more weighed down with guilt. Guilt because, although it was obvious that Kikyou had done something terrible to Kagome no matter how much he wished otherwise, Inuyasha had been unable to do anything because he couldn't bring himself to lift a hand against Kikyou. And that's what was worrying him.
How could he protect Kagome if the one trying to harm her was Kikyou?
There was the conflict in his heart. It scared him to realize how close he had come to succumbing to Naraku's illusion of the past, of Kikyou, and how badly he had wanted to be there for her at the risk of all else. He had come close to not breaking free and being able to help the others. And who knew what might have happened if he hadn't been able to do it and arrived at Kagome's side when he did?
Kikyou was his responsibility and it placed him at fault for anything she did to Kagome, he felt this very strongly. And it threw his mind in turmoil because he didn't know how to resolve it. He didn't want to hurt Kikyou but he also didn't want her to hurt Kagome who was, he realized, just as important to him, if not more so.
So what should he do about it?
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Kagome sighed as she sat down on a large boulder, shrouded in the dark folds of the forest with the fire from camp a tiny pinprick of light in the distance. And just as the shadows fell over her, so did her emotions.
She regretted causing everyone worry, knew they had so many questions about what had happened between her and Kikyou, especially Inuyasha. But it wasn't something she could talk about with them, not with the image Naraku's illusion trap had shown her. The trap that revealed a person's darkest doubts and fears had shown her Inuyasha and Kikyou kissing, him choosing her over Kagome. It hurt even now to remember it as well as to think of how selfish it was to have that shown to her when it could have been so many other things. After all, shouldn't she have been more worried about the lives of her friends instead of the status or non-status of her relationship with Inuyasha?
And aside from her doubts about the relationship between those two and what it meant to herself was the sense of betrayal she felt towards Kikyou. It was silly perhaps, but she had gone there to try and help Kikyou only to have her life in danger from the one she had tried to rescue! Added to that was how useless and guilty she felt at how easily Kikyou had taken the chunk of Shikon no Tama that everyone had worked so hard for.
She sighed heavily, feeling unbearably tired. Then she stiffened, casting a wary look about.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
Sesshoumaru's form glided out of the darkness, seeming to materialize out of nowhere in an impressive display as he stopped a few feet away from her. He looked as imperious as ever, Kagome thought as she examined him. Her eyes fell to the sword at his waist and for a brief moment she wondered why, after all the times she'd seen him fighting, she couldn't recollect a time when he had drawn it. But the thought was fleeting and slipped from her mind as discomfort overtook her at the way he stared down at her with an unreadable gaze while moonlight and shadows played with the pale shades of his hair.
"Well," she said when he gave no answer. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Indeed it had, Sesshoumaru thought as he gazed at her. The last he'd seen of her had been that encounter shortly after that debacle with Naraku and his failed attempts to gain the Tetsusaiga from Inuyasha. After that, he had decided once again to stay away from her, still confused by his odd reactions to her. Besides, he had tried to discover the mystery about her powers and if they were the cause for his strange behavior but since she had indicated she had no knowledge concerning it, and he did not believe she lied, it was pointless for him to have any further contact with her.
So then, just why was it that he found himself with her once again?
"How have you been?" Kagome asked casually when the silence between them had stretched on too long for her liking. She tilted her head, eyeing him a little suspiciously. "You haven't had any more dealings with Naraku, have you? Because, frankly, I've had my fill of him for the week so if you're here doing some sort of business for him, go away and come back later."
Despite her odd way of phrasing things, he understood what she meant and gave her a condescending look. "I, Sesshoumaru, do business for no one other than myself."
Kagome just shrugged. "Sorry," she said offhandedly.
Sesshoumaru suppressed a frown. She was acting oddly. In all of their previous encounters, she had always shown at least a hint of fear but this night, she had shown none. As he observed her more closely, she seemed unlike her usual fiery self. Instead, weariness and exhaustion seemed to hang about her as well as a lack of spirit, which disturbed him for some strange reason. And judging from her topic of conversation, he had an inkling as to what that reason was.
"Naraku," he said tonelessly, silently cursing the bastard whom he still owed for the insult done to him.
"Yeah." Kagome's tone was listless. "You're better off avoiding him if you can. I think he's much stronger now than the last time you saw him."
"Stronger?" That definitely caught Sesshoumaru's attention. "How?"
"Well, let's just say that, if combining his body with other youkai makes him stronger, then he's definitely stronger."
"You know this for fact?"
"I was there. Saw it myself up close and personal."
"You did?" He didn't quite manage to conceal his surprise.
"Yeah. Sort of an accident but I saw it either way."
Silence fell between them again. As much as Sesshoumaru enjoyed quiet, this one bothered him for he felt that she was not the type for it, not for long. And this one bordered on being morose which was hardly enjoyable being in the presence of. Plus, it was obvious that her thoughts were distant and, as they consumed her, it almost appeared to him as if she had forgotten all about him.
Sesshoumaru didn't like to be forgotten.
"What happened?" he asked abruptly, breaking the silence that grated oddly on his usual steely nerves.
Kagome blinked, startled as her gaze focused on him as if surprised to see him there. Sesshoumaru noted it grimly. Apparently she really had forgotten his presence! The knowledge irritated him immensely as his gold eyes glinted at her dangerously.
But Kagome either didn't notice or was unconcerned as she sighed. "Well, a lot happened since the last time I saw you. I don't even know where to begin." She tilted her head. "Well, there's a new member to our traveling group - a youkai exterminator."
"Taijiya," Sesshoumaru stated. "Do you think such news worries one such as I, Sesshoumaru?"
A tiny smile lifted the corners of her mouth. "Hardly." She shrugged. "It's just kind of interesting, that's all. Sango-chan - the Taijiya - was fooled by Naraku too." She gave him a speculative glance. "Those tricked by Naraku seemed to be coming together."
Sesshoumaru's gaze was cold. "Do not think that I, Sesshoumaru, need to lower myself to work with humans."
"It was just a thought." She grinned a little. "But I admit it's a bad one. With you and Inuyasha on the same team bickering as much as you do, we'd probably be safer just surrendering to whatever Naraku has planned without a fight."
Though he masked it well, Sesshoumaru was surprised. "You are joking."
"A little." She sighed. "After the night I've had, I need some humor to keep me sane."
"And you did not answer my question," said Sesshoumaru, displeased that he'd only now realized he'd been sidetracked from his previous inquiry. "What is it that has happened?"
Kagome gave him a considering glance, wondering what, if anything she should tell him. And why was he asking anyway? Surely, it couldn't be out of concern for her welfare? She didn't think so, not with the indifferent expression upon his features as he gazed down at her. But did it matter why he asked? Not answering his question would undoubtedly make him angry and she didn't want that, not when he seemed content for the moment with just talking. She wasn't up to a fight and didn't want to cry out for help and have Inuyasha and the others getting involved in one either after all they'd just been through. And to go against Sesshoumaru, who seemed in top shape, before they'd had time to emotionally recover could be fatally detrimental.
Besides, she wasn't the type of person who liked holding things in and talking about it would probably be good, helping to her organize her own thoughts. And since she didn't want to speak of what happened to the others, Inuyasha in particular, who else was there? Also, Kagome was sure that this conversation would never repeated since Sesshoumaru was obviously the closemouthed type and she couldn't picture him having a peaceful conversation discussing it with Inuyasha or anyone else either. And so, Kagome conceded, telling a brief version of things to a silent Sesshoumaru of what had happened concerning Naraku, his new body, Kikyou, and the most recent illusion trap, feeling a bit more relaxed in mind when she had finished her tale.
"You're a fool," was Sesshoumaru's immediate words when she was done.
"Excuse me?" Her eyes narrowed at him as irritation stole upon her. "What did you say?"
He almost smirked at the way she glared at him, no longer listless. "Perhaps you are even more of a fool than I thought if you truly need I, Sesshoumaru, to repeat my words."
Kagome clenched her jaw as her temper spiked, resisting the urge to scream like she wanted to because she knew Inuyasha would hear and come running. She tried to keep in mind that she wanted the battle-minded brothers to keep their distance to avoid fighting and possible death for one or both of them. Although she had a brief moment to wonder why she was worried about the youkai lord, she quickly shook the uncomfortable thought away. After all, it should only be Inuyasha that she worried about, right?
"Why are you here anyway?" Kagome asked through clenched teeth. "There has to be a reason since I doubt you just came here to play psychiatrist for me."
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed at the odd word he'd never heard before. Was she insulting him?
"If you wanted another fight with Inuyasha," Kagome continued heatedly, "you wouldn't be wasting your time with me. So how come you're here?"
Why, indeed? Sesshoumaru couldn't help wondering about that as well. It was an odd impulse that had drawn him out here before he could think on it and it worried him though he kept his features neutral as he replied, "I am merely biding my time until I retrieve something of mine. It is by chance only that your path crossed with mine."
"Chance?" Kagome was silent a moment before she asked him quietly, "Is your sense of smell as good as Inuyasha's?"
Sesshoumaru became irritated at the sudden odd question. "You dare to imply that I, Sesshoumaru, am lacking in something compared to that hanyou?"
"So that's a 'yes.'" Her head tilted as she regarded him. "Since your sense of smell is as good as, or even better than, Inuyasha's then you must have been able to pick up my scent quite a while ago."
Sesshoumaru stiffened, not liking the way her reasoning was going.
"That means," Kagome continued, "you knew where I was, could have easily avoided me if you wanted to. But you didn't. Why?"
Sesshoumaru's heart quickened as he suddenly felt threatened, pressured, and wanted only to have her stop the direction her questioning was going even though he wasn't sure exactly what direction it was. He merely had a feeling that it would bode ill and searched for something to stop it.
"What's this?" Kagome asked, startled as she automatically caught the tiny object tossed at her. She blinked in confusion. "An aspirin bottle?" Her eyes widened. "From back then?"
"Yes." He bit back the urge to growl defensively, replying with as much indifference as he could muster. "It belongs to you, does it not? It's only fitting to return that object as recompense to one who offered aid."
"But you tried to kill me after that." Her tone was sardonic. "I hardly call that offering recompense."
"One has nothing to do with the other."
"Maybe not." Her expression was doubtful. "But you wouldn't have been able to return it to me as 'recompense' if you killed me first, now could you?"
"It's a simple matter to return an object by placing it on the dead body."
"Okay." Kagome grimaced. "Not very comforting."
"It was not meant to be."
"Whatever." Kagome rolled her eyes. "But we've had other encounters before. Why didn't you give it back to me at an earlier one?"
Sesshoumaru fell silent, glaring at her.
She should back down, she knew, but she didn't. It was almost as if she was possessed by an unnamable something that kept urging her to prod him until she got an answer, no matter how potentially dangerous it was.
"Why?" she persisted. "Why now instead of then? Why?"
"I forgot," he said suddenly, nearly hissing.
"Forgot?" She eyed him doubtfully. He didn't seem like the forgetting type. "You're admitting to a fault like that."
"Yes." It was better than the alternative though he wasn't quite sure what that was. Nevertheless, he drew himself up with as much dignity as he could. "It is a simple matter. Now the object has been returned and it is no longer a matter of any concern."
There was something more to it, but she let it go. It really was stupid to keep poking at him when she was trying to avoid an angry explosion. Although she did think the action was kind of cute since it was so unexpected, of course she couldn't tell him that as she had the strong feeling he wouldn't appreciate it. Besides, for all she knew, it was some weird youkai reasoning that she wouldn't be able to understand no matter how much she tried. Youkai and human; really, what were the differences between them?
"Do youkai love?"
It was hard to tell who was most startled by the question. Well, no, actually she was the most obviously startled for voicing it but she swore Sesshoumaru's indifferent mask dropped a split-second in one suprised moment at having such an odd question directed towards him. And though a blush rose in her face at her question and because of who she'd aimed it at, Kagome didn't back down. She wanted to know and who better to ask than a full youkai? Kirara couldn't speak human and Shippou didn't count since he was still so young. There was no one else to ask.
"Well?" Kagome prompted. "Don't you know?"
"Of course," he said immediately, only to regret how hastily the words came in his irritation with the aspersion cast upon his intelligence. Truly, the human had a knack for arousing his temper.
"'Of course' you know," she looked doubtful, "or 'of course' youkai love?"
"Both." He didn't like the subject but he tried not to let it show. He'd already replied and it would be cowardly to back out of the conversation now. "Though only the weaker youkai succumb to such foolishness."
"Really?" She frowned. "Didn't your father love a human woman enough to marry her? Does that mean you think he was a fool too?"
"Of course he was a fool," he replied shortly. "He allowed his judgment to be clouded by a human and hastened his death."
"I see," she said reflectively as she looked at him. "So I take it that you're going to avoid falling in love."
"I am not weak." His expression bordered on scathing. "Nor a fool."
"I don't really think being able to love is foolish." Her gaze wandered in the direction of the distant campfire and she grimaced. "Well, sometimes it is, I guess." She sighed. "Maybe it's a good thing some youkai don't have the ability for it."
"You think that I, Sesshoumaru, am lacking in this ability?" He was offended by her statement, which was odd since he certainly didn't want such weak emotions attributed to him, did he?
"I don't know," Kagome answered. "But you just said that it was foolish so I wouldn't think you'd care if you couldn't fall in love."
"I could if I so chose to." Why was he defending himself so suddenly like this? It was strange and he hastened to add, "But I wouldn't make such a choice. Having the ability to do something does not require that one should actually do it."
"I suppose so." She suddenly looked amused. "Well, this is one topic I certainly never thought I'd be discussing with you. It's really strange."
He felt oddly relieved that he wasn't the only one who thought so, although he would be insulted if she had thought that he spoke on such a useless subject often enough to be accustomed to it. Of course, he had never imagined that he'd be holding such an unappealing conversation that bordered on offending his sensibilities with anyone, human or not. It was certainly a curious event.
"Why is it that you sought such a conversation with I, Sesshoumaru?" he asked abruptly.
"Well, I didn't really seek it."
"You did," he stated, all but calling her a liar with his tone.
Her eyes narrowed in annoyance. "The question just kind of slipped from my mouth before I could think about it. Trust me, a conversation about feelings isn't something I'd normally put you on my top ten list of people to talk to."
"Then why did you do so?" He ignored her odd speech of top ten something, determined not to let the human sidetrack him from his question again.
"Why?" She puzzled over it for a moment. "Well, maybe because of Inuyasha."
"What does that hanyou have to do with it?" Sesshoumaru was inexplicably annoyed.
"He wants to be a full youkai."
"More foolishness that. It's a useless quest for that hanyou to undertake."
"Actually, I think Inuyasha may be able to do it one day." Her expression turned a bit wistful. "If it's him, he can probably do it."
"But you do not approve." He kept the curiosity from his face. "Why?"
"Well, I believe that people are born a certain way for a reason." She shrugged. "I worry that if Inuyasha turns full youkai, he'll lose the part of himself that makes him who he is."
"And you are fond of that part, even though it is weak?" He was displeased, though he hid it well.
"I don't really think it's weak. For all his faults, Inuyasha has a good heart and I believe that it's part of what gives him his strength, though he doesn't realize it." She was quiet for a moment. "I haven't met many nice youkai and it makes me think they tend to lack the something that Inuyasha has that lets him win over them in fights. And if Inuyasha becomes a true youkai, then he'll lose that something that gives him that special edge. I don't want to see that happen." She frowned suddenly. "And I really don't know why I'm telling you all this."
She rose to her feet suddenly, placing the empty aspirin bottle on the boulder she had just vacated. She looked at him, suddenly feeling awkward at the realization that she had been almost completely comfortable in his presence this night. It was very unusual. But she didn't have time to ponder it because she knew that Inuyasha or the others would come looking for her shortly if she didn't return soon.
"You didn't have to return it," Kagome said as he glanced at the bottle. "It's really not that important."
"You are leaving it?"
"Well, my clothes don't leave a lot of room to hide it and it would look strange if I suddenly return carrying an empty aspirin bottle." She shrugged uncomfortably. "And your scent is probably still on it and I don't feel like having Inuyasha pick it up and questioning me about it."
A thought occurred to him. "You did not tell that hanyou about me. Why?"
"What would be the point?" An eyebrow arched. "Do you tell anyone else about seeing me outside of fighting encounters?"
To that, Sesshoumaru fell silent.
"Now, I really have to be getting back before someone comes looking for me." She hesitated, discomfort creeping over her as she spoke, wondering what made her say them as the words came almost from out of nowhere. "You know, I doubt you'll ever need to but, if there ever comes a time when you need someone to listen to something you have to say just like you listened to me, well," she shrugged, nearly embarrassed, "I can be a good listener."
Sesshoumaru just blinked at her.
"Well, I've got to go," she said in a rush, feeling flustered as she whirled towards the campfire. Then she stopped and turned back to face him, smiling with all the sincerity and gratitude in her heart. "Thank you."
She whirled again, tramping through the dark forest as she left him behind, heading towards that pinprick of light that beckoned her as she homed in on it. She walked as quickly and safely as she could manage while trying to calm her heartbeat that had suddenly become so unsteady. But, unsteady heartbeat or not, she did feel better than she had prior to her encounter with the youkai lord and she was secretly grateful to him. The talking had helped, though she still had some doubts, and she felt closer to being back to her usual self by the time she made it to the campsite.
"Took you long enough."
Kagome whirled with a startled gasp, relaxing when she beheld the figure behind her, leaning with his arms crossed against a tree as he glared at her grumpily. She suppressed a smile at the look in his on his face, knowing he'd been worried about her and waiting until she came back. Feeling a little guilty all of a sudden, she tucked her hands, which had clutched the aspirin bottle and no doubt carried some of Sesshoumaru's scent, behind her and tried to keep some distance between her and Inuyasha, hoping he wouldn't smell anything unusual.
"Inuyasha," she said in a lightly scolding tone. "Don't surprise me like that. I nearly had a heart attack."
"Feh," he snorted, inwardly relieved that she seemed more at ease now. "It wouldn't have happened if you'd been paying more attention. You passed right by me without even noticing." It irritated him now to think about it. "It's your own fault."
Kagome frowned at him but was distracted by a heavy sigh coming from the direction of the fire. She turned her gaze to find Miroku sitting up and gazing at them blearily.
"Can you two get some rest, please?" Miroku asked. "It's been a long day and I think we'll all be more up to a discussion in the morning after some rest." With that, he laid back down. "Good night."
Inuyasha just grunted. "You'd better get some sleep too, Kagome." He kept his gaze averted. "I don't want you lagging behind when we start searching for more Shikon shards."
She smiled a little at the hidden concern in those brusque words. Still, her brows drew together in frown as she apologized softly, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Inuyasha's expression was startled.
"For a lot of things." She shrugged. "For letting the Shikon no Tama get stolen."
"Bah," he said disgustedly. "That's just useless worrying." He sank down until he was sitting down, back against the tree. "Just go get some sleep."
She stood there for a moment, observing him as he closed his eyes as if shutting out everything else, including any more apologies she might have tried to make. In his own brusque way, she felt that he was trying to offer her comfort, which was sweet since she knew he felt guilty about the events that had happened even though he really wasn't the one at fault for them. There were still lots of unresolved issues that needed to be addressed, but she relaxed, feeling better in knowing that they didn't all have to be dealt with that night.
So, with a little smile curling her lips, she went to do as Inuyasha said, picking a sleeping spot to take up until the next morning brought with it whatever would come.
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In the distance, Sesshoumaru strode away further from the place where he had idled with that human and discussed things he had never thought he would speak of. Remnants of the conversation lay on his mind, pestering him into an irritated mood until he was almost tempted to go back and try to eliminate the one responsible for causing it.
But he didn't.
Her odd treatment of him, her last words, and the final smile she had thrown him nagged at him in a worrisome way that made him feel that the best course of action would be to stay away. Besides, his purpose for seeking dealings with her was done as he had given her back that strange foreign container though she had ended up discarding it. There were no further reasons for him to involve himself with her any further. No, the best thing would be to go their separate paths, especially since they had different goals.
That was so, he thought as he recalled one of his. Human and youkai had different goals, different desires, and his was one that had nothing to do with human girls with their odd ways of speech. The knowledge steadied his resolution as he continued striding deeper into the depths of the dark forests.
After all, he had to see a man about a new sword.