It was August 21st.
I cowered when I suddenly remembered just how big Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry really was. After a few years of growing up, things were supposed to seem smaller, not larger. The castle of Hogwarts was certainly an exception.
I stood in front of the great oak doors with its dark, massive shadow spilling over me like a tidal wave. I felt cold. This isn't how people were supposed to feel upon arriving at Hogwarts. Hogwarts was a place of warmth and friendliness. It was home to tomorrow's witches and wizards. It used to me my home.
So why was I standing there with my knees shaking and my arms wrapped so tight around my tiny suitcase that I could feel it pressing hard against my chest? Why did I suddenly feel like the air had dropped twenty degrees?
Because of him.
Professor Severus Snape. Master of Potions and loyal Head of Slytherin.
He's the reason I stand here alone, terrified to take another step further. I'm alone because the man I loved and married has abandoned me and I'm terrified that my feelings for that stubborn bastard of a wizard Severus Snape will all return upon seeing him again.
I left Hogwarts the day after my graduation promising myself I'd never return. I made a solemn swear to myself that I'd not let him hurt me again. So why am I here?
Simple, I guess.
Ten years have gone by and I've realized how foolish I was to let one man control my destiny. Why should I let a man who didn't even have the decency to call me by my first name scare me away from what was once my home?
Professor Dumbledore was right. Out of sight, out of mind. It took two years, but I fell out of love with that sallow, greasy git. I fell out of love with him and in love with another selfish bastard who became my dictatorial husband less than a year after that.
Daemon Sullivan.
Son of the notorious Gabriel Sullivan.
Death Eater.
What a bastard he was. I'd have been better off staying in love with the greasy git. Professor Snape refused to reciprocate my avid feelings for him. He never loved me like I loved him. Neither did Daemon. The difference was Professor Snape told me flat out that he didn't want me. End of story.
Daemon. He pretended to love me. He used me, abused me, and then flat out told me he didn't want me. Those heartaches I suffered after leaving Hogwarts paled in comparison to the wounds Daemon inflicted on my heart. We were going to have a child together. Perhaps it's for the best that our child never stood a chance. What sort of life would I be giving my child knowing that its father loved the Dark Lord more than he love us?
There was only one place to go to harbour from being drawn into that sort of life. One place that was completely safe. One place, and it stood right in front of me. Hogwarts.
My friends and my professors were all right on the other side of the door. They were all waiting for me. Especially Headmaster Dumbledore. He kept in touch with me and sent me many letters of warmth and encouragement. If not to reunite with my fellow graduates, I was here today to once again see him.
To hell with that sordid brute who calls himself Severus Snape. I'll not let his memory destroy me again.