Disclaimer: I don't own HP or any of these characters. That belongs to JKR, Scholastic Books, Warner Brothers, etc.
I dreamed a dream just now that you were not here. It was seemed so horrible and real that I woke up with the fear that you would not be near.
I didn't even have to reach for you. It was just a dream, no matter how vivid it did feel, and you're still here in this room with me. Everything in my world is all right. You were in my arms, like you are every night. I shouldn't have been surprised. After all for the longest time, you've been by my side.
I tried to go back to sleep. Just the thought of you can calm me and having you so close to me should have put my fears to rest. And that did happen. Unfortunately for me, however, although my worries had long fled, I could not fall asleep. I didn't want to wake you. It wouldn't be fair for me to spread my misery and cause you to lose sleep as well. So though I dearly wanted to talk to you about everything, I disentangled myself from you and left the bed.
I took a seat at our desk and just watched you sleep, while pondering what I should do. It's not easy to find something to do at three in the morning.
Actually, scratch that. I can think of several things I would like to do at three in the morning but they all involved you being awake, love. The thought of—oh, who am I trying to fool! The thought of waking you, both then and now, is very tempting to say the least. I didn't and I'm not. You've been putting in too many hours at work this week and so you really need your sleep.
All bets are off, though, if that sheet slips any lower. There is only so much a man can take, my love, and if I see any more skin, I'll just have to have my dastardly way with you.
I'd best stop thinking like that and look away from you. You're too scrumptious for your own good. Anyway, as I tried to ignore certain urges, I found a letter from you to me. A small note on it said it was just something for me to read when I needed comfort and you weren't near. Technically, I suppose you were near but I needed comfort and so I opened it to read.
The fact that I was curious about what you could have possibly written did not influence that decision at all, love.
So I read it and I'm glad I did. I needed to read it after that awful dream. I had pretty much put all my fears to rest but that letter chased each and every single one of my doubts away. I feel so much better know that I've read it. It was just what I needed.
You usually know just what I need.
I'm sorry, love. I wanted to say always. I wish it were so but that wouldn't be the truth. Sometimes you don't know what I need. Usually, that's when we're both under a lot of stress. It doesn't happen often but it still does. We seem to drift slightly apart and we're not as in tune with each other as we usually are. Yet something always happens to snap us back together—and the time we spend afterwards is always very pleasant.
There's one part of that letter that's puzzling me and that's what's inspiring me to write this letter. Where did you ever get the idea that I did not like shopping? Do you actually think that I'd not want to spend time with you?
When I think about it, perhaps you think that way because I'm not always too helpful when it comes to picking out clothing for you. I don't intend at all, love, to be so useless. There are very few things that don't look good on you—and those that don't, well, I doubt they'd look good on anyone.
Of course, one problem with us shopping together for you, is that we tend to focus on different things.
****
"Harry," Hermione called, diverting her husband's attention from his perusal of socks to her.
"What is it?" he asked.
"What do you think of this pair?" Hermione modeled the pair of shoes she had just tried on for him. "They're very comfortable, yet still classy enough to wear to dinner Friday night."
Harry backed up a few steps to better see the shoes as Hermione walked around in them. "They are very nice," he said noncommittally.
She rolled her eyes at his evasive response. "That doesn't tell me if you like them." She sighed. Harry always said that he liked everything she tried on. Well, that was except for a few things that she tried on just to make sure that he was paying to attention to what she was considering buying. If he had said that awful purple and green ensemble looked good on her last week when they were shopping, for instance, then she would have known that he wasn't really looking at what she was wearing.
"They do look very nice, Hermione," Harry protested. "I could be more specific if you'd tell me what you plan to wear them with."
"The blue dress, the one with the slits up both sides."
"Okay, that doesn't help me."
Hermione laughed at his confusion. "I could have told you that it wouldn't have helped you to give a better answer. You don't remember the dress now do you?"
"No but that's because you always describe the wrong sorts of things to help me remember. It'd be nice if you'd mention the important bits." Harry's brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to remember the dress that Hermione had mentioned. "Do you mean the dress with the zipper that always gets stuck a quarter of the way down? Then those shoes would definitely match but don't buy them. I'd prefer if you'd wear something else."
"Harry!" Hermione's jaw dropped down from shock at Harry's words.
He quirked an eyebrow up at her. "What? Surprised that I remembered that dress?"
"No . . . well, okay yes, but it's not that. Do you actually remember my clothes by how easy it is to get me out of them?"
"Of course. One of us has to keep an eye on the important things in life."
****
You had to insist on wearing that dress anyway, didn't you, love? While I'd have preferred for you to wear something else, it didn't matter in the end. I just had to take my time.
I got the impression you rather enjoyed that.
Talking about taking my time reminds me of how long we took to see the obvious. I fervently agree with your recollections, love. The memories of that night and its aftermath are some of my most favorite. I can't believe that it took us that much time to get together considering how right everything feels when I have you by my side.
And before I forget, let me thank you for sharing your thoughts on my proposal with me. Or rather, it'd be more accurate to say let me thank you before I get too wrapped up in other things. I could never forget the sheer bliss I felt when I read that you'd say yes over and over again, should I ever need to hear the words. Yes I know that you love me but I love you so deeply that it's hard to think that you could return that love in full. So I could never forget your declaration of such love and I never will. Yet when I think of you, there's so much that I want to say that I fear that I could forget about thanking you—not because I didn't appreciate your words, never that love, but because I wouldn't get around to it before I put my quill down.
And before you can think of a smart remark to make about my quantity of writing, let me note that I could go on forever about all the things I love about you if that's what you really wanted. I prefer to think that there are other ways I can express my love for you and other activities that you'd enjoy more.
Considering how frisky you sound in some parts of your letter, I think that's a pretty safe thing to say.
I think I'll change topics before that train of thought gets out of hand. Back to talking about my proposal, I had never been more nervous in my life. I never thought that you'd love me enough to say yes and so it brings a smile to my face to know that there was no way you'd say anything else. I'm sure you tried to give me hints about your answer—you basically said so in your letter. I'm sorry for not picking them up, love, but sometimes I am very slow. That's especially true for me realizing that people actually do care about me. It was hard to think that you'd say yes and it was hard to believe that you'd say I do but you did. It took until about a week after a honeymoon for that knowledge to finally set in.
I think you know the time I'm talking about.
****
There was nothing better after a long day of work, to come home and bask in having Hermione near. He was utterly content just to watch her read her various scholarly journals at her desk while he sat back and relaxed on their couch. She would glance up occasionally from her reading, meeting his eyes and then lighting up his life with a smile meant just for him.
As if his thoughts could compel her actions, she looked up right then to glance in his direction. A goofy grin covered his face as her eyes met his. She reached up to flick a lock of hair back from out of her face and then cheekily asked, "Just what are you staring at, Mr. Potter?"
He didn't answer. His mind was completely focused on one thing and that was the ring on her third finger.
Harry's silence was beginning to worry her so Hermione got up and walked over to him. She knelt down in front of him to place her left hand on his forehead to see if he was feverish. Before she could do so, he reached out to grasp her hand in both of his.
"We're married." His voice was full of reverence and awe.
"Yes, Harry. We've been married for almost three weeks."
"I know that. I mean, how could I not, I was there. Oh, I must sound like an idiot—of course I was there, I had to be for us to get married. It's just that—"
"It's just that it's finally set in, hasn't it?" she finished for him gently. "Yes, Harry, we are married and I plight to thee my troth for all of my days and beyond."
****
Those words still leave me breathless. The ease with which you uttered them just takes my breath away and I cannot find anything to say.
I love you.
I'm surprised that you didn't think I was barking mad for just realizing then that we were married. It was seeing your ring that did it for me though you probably already know that. That was when I knew that our love would never end just like that ring you wear never ends. Our love will burn throughout our lives and beyond.
I love you.
You mean so much to me that I can't even begin to explain just how you fill my world. I honestly don't know how I ever thought I could live without you.
You figured that out first. You knew long before me how much I needed you. Thank god you're that much brighter than me. I was going to throw your friendship away without thinking of what that would mean, but you wouldn't let me make such a mistake.
****
"You can just stop trying to get away from me, Harry, because I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what's wrong with you." Hermione glared at her erstwhile friend. As of late, he had been snappish towards both her and Ron. Ron had taken to avoiding Harry and had advised her to do the same. Hermione had no intention whatsoever of taking that advice though. She knew something was up with Harry and she was going to get to the bottom of it.
"Did you ever consider that perhaps I don't want to be around someone as boring as you? I've better things to do, you know."
"You've never mentioned anything like that before. This change of heart of yours seems very sudden. Remember who it is you're talking to, Harry. This is me, Hermione. You might be able to fool Ron with your act but you are definitely not fooling me."
"And of course, Hermione Granger just couldn't be wrong. It's simply not possible for her to admit that maybe Ron's right this time."
"You know what. You don't have to explain yourself. I know perfectly well what you're doing here. You're trying to push us out of your life 'for our own good.' Well let me tell you right now that it's not going to work."
"You have a very high opinion of yourself, don't you? Not only do you think that you've hit upon the right explanation, you refuse to consider that maybe I don't want you by my side. I think it's time you face the truth Hermione. I don't want you as my—"
Hermione slapped Harry across the face.
"Don't you even dare complete that thought. I'm not going to let you say it. I'm not going to let you do what you're planning to do because I'm not going to let you let him win."
"As hard as it may be for you to get this through your thick skull, Hermione, I have no intention of letting Voldemort win." If he had expected her to flinch at that name, he was disappointed. She continued to hold his gaze with her own without wincing even once.
"You really don't get it, do you?" she responded. "You really are that slow. You really don't understand that if you walk away from us and our friendship that you'll be letting him win. Because you'll be letting him dictate how you choose to spend your life. Because you'll be letting him choose who your friends should be or if you should have any at all. I am not going to let you do that Harry."
Harry started to speak but she raised her hand to stop him. "And don't even try to give me that speech on how I'm in so much danger. Guess what—I'm in danger anyway because I'm Muggleborn. So what if being your friend makes me slightly more of a target? I. Don't. Care. I want to be your friend and that's the choice I've made. Don't even try to tell me I shouldn't. This is my life, Harry Potter, and my life alone. It's my choice on how I choose to spend it and I choose to spend it with you."
****
I love you. I wish I could find better words to say but I can't. I'll just have to stick to the simple truth. I love you and always will.
I should have known then and there that you were the one for me. You had just declared that you'd always be with me and that should have been a bright and obvious clue that we belonged together.
You see, all my life, I've dreamed of having a friend by my side. It comes of not really having anyone there for me when I was young, I suppose. That friend would always be on my side, believing in me when no one else did and cheering me on in everything I did. I wouldn't have to explain myself to them because they'd know without me speaking. I would always have a shoulder to cry on and there would always be someone to pick me to be on their team.
So I should have seen back then that you were all that and more. You believed me in our fourth year even when Ron thought I had put my name in. You stood by me to help me out even when you were shaking in fear, like in our third year when we went to rescue Sirius. You held on to me and wouldn't let me go. You stopped me from making what would have been the biggest mistake of my life. I am so thankful that you came into my life. My gratitude is only exceeded by my love for you. I no longer have to pretend I have such a friend in my life. You're all that I ever wanted and so much more. My life is better because of you. I no longer have to dream. Nothing could be better than what my life is now.
After all, I have you.
Author's note—Thank you ever so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I really do appreciate it—those reviews helped so much while I was writing this one. I had started it in mid-April but it just would not flow. But this is what I've finally come up with, after a false start or two, and I hope everyone likes it. Please leave a review letting me know what you think, be it good or bad. Thank you.