Part Two
Theresa
I think your heart can only stand so much pain before it begins to break.
It starts off a small tear, easily mended with a comforting word or a stolen glance. But with each new devastation that occurs in life, the rip grows larger and larger, until it is completely unable to be healed.
All that remains after the heart is broken is two separate pieces, one piece bitter, the other piece longing.
My heart began to break the day of my first wedding to Ethan, as Ivy drove her BMW into the church where we stood pledging our vows to one another. Hatred in her eyes, directed towards me, as she shoved the tabloid in our faces, the written words declaring me the villain Ethan' s parentage scandal.
It was a little rip, but slowly it began to tear even more when I saw the sorrow and the disbelief in Ethan's eyes.
My heart began to break that day, and now, nearly two years later, all that remains is the spoken of two-pieces.
One piece is bitter.
Bitter towards Ivy, for starting the misery with such a ludicrous accusation.
Bitter towards my husband, Julian, for taking away the little innocence I still possessed.
Bitter towards Gwen, for fighting dirty and still coming out on top.
Bitter towards Ethan, for not being true to his own heart.
But most of all, I'm bitter towards myself, for keeping secrets and truths from those most deserving of what I knew.
The other piece is longing.
Longing for the girl I used to be, so spunky and filled with life.
Longing for my son, and the mother that I wish I could be to him.
Longing for Ethan, and the romance we shared.
But most of all, I'm longing for love. The way you first feel when you fall in love...
The tingly feeling washing over you as your eyes first meet theirs...
The butterflies in your stomach intensifying with each step they take, bringing them closer to...
The unspoken words exchanged with a single glance... a simple caress... a stolen kiss.
And then, the way you feel when you know you are head over heels in love...
Nothing can get to you.
The world around you is brighter, livelier.
The freedom washing over you, knowing that you aren't the only one feeling these things.
Sharing your life, you soul with that one person.
But once your heart breaks...
Your eyes open, and you view everything that surrounds you at face value.
You see the ugliness that was previously concealed.
You feel the feelings that were previously suppressed.
Despair.
Anger.
Hatred.
Loneliness.
Self- loathing.
And the only thing to find solace in is lying in bed, covers drawn tightly about you, curtains blocking out the newly dulled world.
But, you can't often seek that solace once your heart has broken.
There is a reality that you have to face.
Life around you is still happening, no matter how much you want to hide from it.
There is still a company that needs to be run. A family collapsing in shambles, with nothing that can be done. Well meaning friends, caught up in battles of their own.
A kind stranger, slowly becoming a treasured confidante.
A beautiful baby boy, who can ease all pain with a sigh of contentment. Who knows only one person, his mother, and loves her unconditionally.
Life goes on.
I go on.
And you realize that some good comes from having a broken heart.
You become stronger than you ever were before. You push past the pain and misery, and your strength becomes more prevalent each passing day.
Time passes more quickly than ever.
And then, one morning, you wake up, realize things aren't as bad as you thought, and you can almost forget that there was a time that you were truly happy.
Sunlight filtered into Theresa's bedroom through the lacy curtains adorning the windows, rousing Theresa from her deep sleep. A soft sigh came from her lips, and she shifted in her bed, reaching out for her new- found lover.
Her hands grasped only satin.
Theresa slowly opened her eyes, dread filling her being to the depths of its core.
He used me
Preyed upon my neediness
But I wanted him.
I now live up to my reputation...
First there was Ethan...
Followed by Julian…
And now...
The true heir.
I am the Crane Whore.
And not even I can deny myself that title.
She let out a soft groan, realizing just what she had done.
Her longing had once before led to her destruction.
And now it seemed, she was doomed for a repeat.
Her feet swung to meet the ground, and she padded across the room to her sons' crib.
A note lay in place of Little Ethan.
Picking it up, Theresa's heart fluttered lightly as she recognized the messy scrawl.
Resa,
You looked so peaceful in your sleep that I didn't have the heart to wake you. Little Ethan, of course, was already awake, happily discovering that he has fingers, and what fingers are there for. I'm taking him to the kitchen for some gourmet grub, and then into town, where I plan on spoiling him rotten. I'll have my cell on me, if you'd like to meet up for lunch or something.
Fox
PS... Last night was beautiful. Thank you.
Relief filled Theresa as her eyes skimmed the letter a second time, and then a third.
Perhaps she had been too hasty in her judgement of Fox.
She folded the note, and opened her bureau, placing the note beneath a pile of socks, well hidden from the probing eyes of the Crane mansion staff.
With a single note, he has altered my destiny.
With a simple gesture, he has opened my eyes.
With a thoughtful action, he has touched my soul.
And happiness is within my reach.
With shaky legs, Theresa made her way to the bathroom and collapsed onto the ledge of the bathtub. She turned the water on, extra hot, steam billowing into soft wisps around the room. For the first time since moving into the Crane mansion, Theresa noticed that the lighting in the room cast a warm, almost shimmery glow, reflected throughout the room on small mirrors that lined the walls. She basked in the luminous beauty, slightly disturbed for never noticing this before.
Until...
"Oh, no."
Her head dropped to her hands, and an ironic laughed passed her lips.
She was falling in love, and had not realized it until this moment.
The signs had all been there...
The giddiness she felt whenever she thought of him...
The butterflies kicking to life whenever she heard his name...
The sweaty palms and trembling knees whenever he entered a room...
The melancholy that filled her whenever he left.
She was falling in love with Fox, more and more each passing day.
Her strength was feeding of this love, rebuilding her, making her more whole.
She had been so quick to dismiss these feelings...
Because these were the feelings that she had only ever felt for Ethan.
Still felt for Ethan.
This new realization swept over her as she lay back in the tub, jasmine scented bubbles up to her chin.
Happiness was almost in her reach.
Almost.
But she would never be able to take hold of it.
Her broken heart, the two separate pieces, had begun to heal.
But the two pieces were healing as separate entities.
Each piece was in love with a man.
Her heart as a whole was in love with two men.
Brothers.
One married.
One loving only himself.
Why must you always destroy yourself, Theresa? WHY?
Ethan loved her, of that she was sure of. He might be married to that prissy, lying bitch, Gwen, but Theresa knew without a doubt that Ethan loved her.
Fox on the other hand...
Fox loved to make love to women. But to actually love one...
Never.
He cared for her.
Theresa knew that.
And he was definitely attracted to her. He acted on his attraction last night.
But as for actually loving her?
There was no way that could happen.
Fox Crane wasn't capable of loving someone other than himself.
He was better than his parents, but their careless neglect had molded him into the man he was today.
Theresa felt her newly recovered happiness slipping away, joining the steam twisting and swirling above her. Helpless to reclaim it, she ignored it, and climbed out of the bathtub, to begin her morning rituals.
Theresa Crane knew at that moment happiness would never be hers.
Because happiness could never be found from a man who wasn't yours to have.
With one last sweep of her pale lipstick, Theresa was ready for the day.
And ready to meet Fox for lunch.
He, after all, had laid the offer on the table.
And he had her son in his possession at that moment.
Her one joy.
I can do this, I can do this…
Her new mantra rang through her head as she steeled back her shoulders, determination washing over her.
She COULD do this.
Her hand grasped the doorknob, turning, throwing open the door.
Her body collided with another.
"Theresa."
The familiar voice deep, raspy with emotion, causing goose bumps to rise on her arms.
The tingly feeling in her stomach returned as she looked up at her visitor, her eyes meeting his.
And then his hand was brushing lightly against her cheek, pushing away a stray strand of hair, and she knew.
There was no way in hell she could do this.