Destiny Lost
#2: In the Space of Desire
Authors: Sonya and Erin
E-mail: sonyajeb@swbell.net OR carynsilver@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: B/X, O/Other, AU, action/adventure, romance
Summary: This is a sequel to our epic saga "In the Space of a Heartbeat," which is a story about what would happen if Buffy had never gotten the Slayer powers.
Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up.
Distribution: Regulars... SURE!!! Newbies... ask and you shall recieve!
Feedback: Love it! We want to know your likes AND dislikes. Flames are the only thing we do not accept.
Spoilers: None much for the shows, but heavy spoilers for the earlier installments of this fanfic series!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Three
Sunnydale High School
Sonya sat by the fountain during her morning break. She watched the water bubble and froth. She liked water. When Sonya was in the water, she felt almost whole again... almost like she could fly.
"Hey."
She looked up to see Oz standing there. "Hi, Oz. You always seem to be around lately."
"I try." He sat down on the edge of the fountain's base. "You doin' any better?"
Sonya sighed deeply. "I'm better wedged into my depression if that's what you mean."
"Xander was only trying to help." Oz reached out to touch her arm. "But he didn't do it very well."
"No." Sonya answered shortly. Then she turned on him. "What are you doing here anyway? Come to check up on me? I don't need a babysitter. I haven't tried to commit suicide in over a year. I'm not going to make that mistake again, all right?"
"I never said you were." His arm froze in mid-reach and fell back to her side. "You need help, Sonya... help to face your pain."
"What would you know about pain? You never feel anything." Sonya sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Why don't you just leave me alone?" she demanded, turning her chair away from him. "Why won't everyone just leave me alone..." Tears welled up in her eyes, but she angrily suppressed them.
After a second she looked up, thinking that maybe she should apologize for being so mean. But Oz was gone -- just like she'd asked.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander and Buffy filled Giles in at lunch. Giles was relieved, to say the least. Not that he had much hope for this new "miracle" procedure, but it was a relief to know what was going on.
"Why don't you... er... hop on the computer and look up this doctor fellow," the librarian suggested, his mind already moving on to other things.
Buffy looked at Xander. "OK," she said. They walked over to the computer and pulled up a pair of chairs. Xander let her take control of the keyboard, so she used a search engine to find a medical data base. Then she typed in the name Xander gave her -- Dr. Nigel Keller. She hit enter.
"Here we go," she said. Xander grinned.
But the search came up empty. No hits.
"What the... Maybe you spelled it wrong or put too many spaces or something." Xander took the keyboard from her and typed the name in again. It took a minute but this time something came up. He clicked on the link and found an article in the Sunnydale Tribune that explained exactly what Xander had seen on TV that morning.
"There," he said triumphantly. "See, I knew we could find it."
"This doesn't really tell us anything," Buffy replied doubtfully. "I mean, we need some records of his past practice and patients... medical journal articles or something."
Xander squinted at the screen and moved the scroll bar down, skimming the article. A blue word at the bottom caught his attention. "Look, a link to Dr. Keller's homepage." Another click took them to a web page describing the man's practice, complete with links to his articles in prestigious medical journals.
"Hmm," Buffy said, skimming one article. "Even with all the time I've spent around doctors, I can't make heads or tails of this stuff."
"Well, you're not a neurosurgeon, are you?" Xander retorted.
Buffy slugged him on the shoulder. "How rude!"
"Ow." Xander pouted and rubbed the place where she'd hit him. "I think I'm gonna have a bruise."
"Poor baby," Buffy said, all concern. "Want me to kiss it and make it better?"
"Well..." There was a devilish glint in his brown eyes, but unfortunately the moment was interrupted.
"Did you find anything useful?"
The two amorous teens looked a bit guiltily at Giles. "Erm... yeah, we found his homepage." Xander gestured to the screen.
Giles squinted at it, and the references of the medical journals. "Might I suggest you call the American Medical Association hotline. If it all checks out, we can tell Sonya this afternoon."
"I'll call, but I'm not telling Sonya," Xander said.
"Why not?"
"She bit his head off earlier," Buffy explained.
"What for?" Giles thought for a second and then added, "Never mind..."
"Yeah," Buffy nodded, pleased at his quick understanding of the emotions of a teenaged girl. "Don't worry, guys. I'll tell her."
"Great." Xander stood and gave her a kiss on the cheek which Buffy gladly returned. He then walked over toward the phone. "And I'll make the call."
Buffy called out the numbers to him, and Xander punched them in. He waited, and when the operator came on, he made his request. He scribbled some information down on the pad next to the phone. When he hung up, he looked over at the others. "It all checks out. I've got his license information and everything."
"Whose license?"
He turned and saw Sonya wheeling herself into the library. He thought she looked a lot better than she had before, but he was still somewhat nervous about talking to her on this topic. "Umm... nothing."
Buffy gave him a look for his cowardice, but Xander didn't care. His gaze said, "All yours!" Buffy looked at Sonya with what she hoped was a stern gaze, yet also friendly.
"Dr. Keller's license. It all checks out. He's fully accredited and has lots of journal articles to his name... We all think you should call him." Her gesture encompassed herself, Xander and Giles. "But we don't want to force you..."
"That's right!" Sonya snapped in her usual defensive tone. "You can't force me to do anything!"
"We never said..." Giles started, but Sonya rode over him with her loud voice.
"But, I guess I'll tell you, I thought about it all morning and just made the call a few minutes ago. He had an opening for this afternoon, so I've got an appointment. Now will you all just leave me alone about it?"
"Oh, Sonya, I'm so happy for you!" Buffy almost squealed. She ran over and gave the other girl a hug.
Sonya shrugged Buffy off. "Be happy all you want. I'm not being happy or hopeful at all until this Dr. Keller actually promises me something... *and* can actually deliver."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy and Xander walked down the corridors of Sunnydale High hand in hand. They'd met by her locker, as usual, after last period.
"So, you're taking Sonya to her appointment?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah," Xander replied. "She wanted me to."
"Can I come?"
Xander frowned. "Don't get me wrong, I want you to, but there's not a lot of extra room in my jeep with her chair and everything. Besides..." he put on his teacher face "... you've got training with Giles."
"Stupid training," Buffy muttered with a pout, but she knew that Xander was right. Now was not the time to slack off on her new duties. She slid him an impish gaze. "But we've got a few minutes to kill until then, right?"
Xander met her grin. "Right... what did you have in mind?"
Buffy whipped open a door as they passed and pulled him inside. "Remember this place?"
He looked around. "Hey, didn't we make out in here once when we weren't supposed to be seeing each other?"
"He can remember!" Buffy crowed triumphantly.
"Does this mean you're making an attempt on my virtue?" Xander teased, pulling her close.
"I promise I'll only sully it a little," Buffy said, returning the embrace with easy familiarity.
Then their lips met with a fire and a passion that never diminished with time. And time itself had no meaning when they were together like this. It felt like it had been only five minutes when Buffy cracked her eyes open for a glimpse at her watch.
"Oh, dear," she moaned against his lips.
"Wha...?" Xander muttered, then kissed her again, harder.
"It's been half an hour," Buffy managed to pull away long enough to say. Then she giggled as his free lips worked their way over to her neck.
Xander nibbled her neck and then the shell of her ear. "You're not leaving me, are you?"
"Never," Buffy replied firmly, pulling him back up for another kiss. "We can stay here forever."
"Good," Xander mumbled, "because I'm never letting you go."
That made her smile into his kiss. "I'll hold you to that."
They kissed for a little longer, and then Xander pulled back a little. Buffy had to open her eyes, and when she did she was startled by a serious expression on his face. "What's wrong?"
"Absolutely nothing," Xander replied, his expression softening into a smile. "I was just thinking about how much I love you."
Buffy's face lit up like a 1000-watt bulb. She'd known she loved Xander Harris since almost the first moment she saw him in English class. And if she hadn't known then, his haiku and him saving her from her first vampire sealed the deal. But they'd never actually said the words. Now she couldn't hold back. The words burst from her lips. "I love you, too, Xander!" She lunged in for another quick kiss.
"Wow," Xander said a minute later, "if that's how you react, I'll have to say I love you more often."
"Say it everyday," Buffy said, leaning against his chest.
"As much as I'm enjoying this," Xander said, tightening his arms around her shoulders, "you've got to meet Giles, and I've got to meet Sonya."
"Yeah." Buffy sighed and then separated from him in one quick motion, as if lingering would make it impossible for her to break free. They left the basement and made their way toward the library. Xander grabbed her hand casually, and they walked down the hall swinging their clasped hands between them.
#2: In the Space of Desire
Authors: Sonya and Erin
E-mail: sonyajeb@swbell.net OR carynsilver@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: B/X, O/Other, AU, action/adventure, romance
Summary: This is a sequel to our epic saga "In the Space of a Heartbeat," which is a story about what would happen if Buffy had never gotten the Slayer powers.
Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up.
Distribution: Regulars... SURE!!! Newbies... ask and you shall recieve!
Feedback: Love it! We want to know your likes AND dislikes. Flames are the only thing we do not accept.
Spoilers: None much for the shows, but heavy spoilers for the earlier installments of this fanfic series!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Three
Sunnydale High School
Sonya sat by the fountain during her morning break. She watched the water bubble and froth. She liked water. When Sonya was in the water, she felt almost whole again... almost like she could fly.
"Hey."
She looked up to see Oz standing there. "Hi, Oz. You always seem to be around lately."
"I try." He sat down on the edge of the fountain's base. "You doin' any better?"
Sonya sighed deeply. "I'm better wedged into my depression if that's what you mean."
"Xander was only trying to help." Oz reached out to touch her arm. "But he didn't do it very well."
"No." Sonya answered shortly. Then she turned on him. "What are you doing here anyway? Come to check up on me? I don't need a babysitter. I haven't tried to commit suicide in over a year. I'm not going to make that mistake again, all right?"
"I never said you were." His arm froze in mid-reach and fell back to her side. "You need help, Sonya... help to face your pain."
"What would you know about pain? You never feel anything." Sonya sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Why don't you just leave me alone?" she demanded, turning her chair away from him. "Why won't everyone just leave me alone..." Tears welled up in her eyes, but she angrily suppressed them.
After a second she looked up, thinking that maybe she should apologize for being so mean. But Oz was gone -- just like she'd asked.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander and Buffy filled Giles in at lunch. Giles was relieved, to say the least. Not that he had much hope for this new "miracle" procedure, but it was a relief to know what was going on.
"Why don't you... er... hop on the computer and look up this doctor fellow," the librarian suggested, his mind already moving on to other things.
Buffy looked at Xander. "OK," she said. They walked over to the computer and pulled up a pair of chairs. Xander let her take control of the keyboard, so she used a search engine to find a medical data base. Then she typed in the name Xander gave her -- Dr. Nigel Keller. She hit enter.
"Here we go," she said. Xander grinned.
But the search came up empty. No hits.
"What the... Maybe you spelled it wrong or put too many spaces or something." Xander took the keyboard from her and typed the name in again. It took a minute but this time something came up. He clicked on the link and found an article in the Sunnydale Tribune that explained exactly what Xander had seen on TV that morning.
"There," he said triumphantly. "See, I knew we could find it."
"This doesn't really tell us anything," Buffy replied doubtfully. "I mean, we need some records of his past practice and patients... medical journal articles or something."
Xander squinted at the screen and moved the scroll bar down, skimming the article. A blue word at the bottom caught his attention. "Look, a link to Dr. Keller's homepage." Another click took them to a web page describing the man's practice, complete with links to his articles in prestigious medical journals.
"Hmm," Buffy said, skimming one article. "Even with all the time I've spent around doctors, I can't make heads or tails of this stuff."
"Well, you're not a neurosurgeon, are you?" Xander retorted.
Buffy slugged him on the shoulder. "How rude!"
"Ow." Xander pouted and rubbed the place where she'd hit him. "I think I'm gonna have a bruise."
"Poor baby," Buffy said, all concern. "Want me to kiss it and make it better?"
"Well..." There was a devilish glint in his brown eyes, but unfortunately the moment was interrupted.
"Did you find anything useful?"
The two amorous teens looked a bit guiltily at Giles. "Erm... yeah, we found his homepage." Xander gestured to the screen.
Giles squinted at it, and the references of the medical journals. "Might I suggest you call the American Medical Association hotline. If it all checks out, we can tell Sonya this afternoon."
"I'll call, but I'm not telling Sonya," Xander said.
"Why not?"
"She bit his head off earlier," Buffy explained.
"What for?" Giles thought for a second and then added, "Never mind..."
"Yeah," Buffy nodded, pleased at his quick understanding of the emotions of a teenaged girl. "Don't worry, guys. I'll tell her."
"Great." Xander stood and gave her a kiss on the cheek which Buffy gladly returned. He then walked over toward the phone. "And I'll make the call."
Buffy called out the numbers to him, and Xander punched them in. He waited, and when the operator came on, he made his request. He scribbled some information down on the pad next to the phone. When he hung up, he looked over at the others. "It all checks out. I've got his license information and everything."
"Whose license?"
He turned and saw Sonya wheeling herself into the library. He thought she looked a lot better than she had before, but he was still somewhat nervous about talking to her on this topic. "Umm... nothing."
Buffy gave him a look for his cowardice, but Xander didn't care. His gaze said, "All yours!" Buffy looked at Sonya with what she hoped was a stern gaze, yet also friendly.
"Dr. Keller's license. It all checks out. He's fully accredited and has lots of journal articles to his name... We all think you should call him." Her gesture encompassed herself, Xander and Giles. "But we don't want to force you..."
"That's right!" Sonya snapped in her usual defensive tone. "You can't force me to do anything!"
"We never said..." Giles started, but Sonya rode over him with her loud voice.
"But, I guess I'll tell you, I thought about it all morning and just made the call a few minutes ago. He had an opening for this afternoon, so I've got an appointment. Now will you all just leave me alone about it?"
"Oh, Sonya, I'm so happy for you!" Buffy almost squealed. She ran over and gave the other girl a hug.
Sonya shrugged Buffy off. "Be happy all you want. I'm not being happy or hopeful at all until this Dr. Keller actually promises me something... *and* can actually deliver."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy and Xander walked down the corridors of Sunnydale High hand in hand. They'd met by her locker, as usual, after last period.
"So, you're taking Sonya to her appointment?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah," Xander replied. "She wanted me to."
"Can I come?"
Xander frowned. "Don't get me wrong, I want you to, but there's not a lot of extra room in my jeep with her chair and everything. Besides..." he put on his teacher face "... you've got training with Giles."
"Stupid training," Buffy muttered with a pout, but she knew that Xander was right. Now was not the time to slack off on her new duties. She slid him an impish gaze. "But we've got a few minutes to kill until then, right?"
Xander met her grin. "Right... what did you have in mind?"
Buffy whipped open a door as they passed and pulled him inside. "Remember this place?"
He looked around. "Hey, didn't we make out in here once when we weren't supposed to be seeing each other?"
"He can remember!" Buffy crowed triumphantly.
"Does this mean you're making an attempt on my virtue?" Xander teased, pulling her close.
"I promise I'll only sully it a little," Buffy said, returning the embrace with easy familiarity.
Then their lips met with a fire and a passion that never diminished with time. And time itself had no meaning when they were together like this. It felt like it had been only five minutes when Buffy cracked her eyes open for a glimpse at her watch.
"Oh, dear," she moaned against his lips.
"Wha...?" Xander muttered, then kissed her again, harder.
"It's been half an hour," Buffy managed to pull away long enough to say. Then she giggled as his free lips worked their way over to her neck.
Xander nibbled her neck and then the shell of her ear. "You're not leaving me, are you?"
"Never," Buffy replied firmly, pulling him back up for another kiss. "We can stay here forever."
"Good," Xander mumbled, "because I'm never letting you go."
That made her smile into his kiss. "I'll hold you to that."
They kissed for a little longer, and then Xander pulled back a little. Buffy had to open her eyes, and when she did she was startled by a serious expression on his face. "What's wrong?"
"Absolutely nothing," Xander replied, his expression softening into a smile. "I was just thinking about how much I love you."
Buffy's face lit up like a 1000-watt bulb. She'd known she loved Xander Harris since almost the first moment she saw him in English class. And if she hadn't known then, his haiku and him saving her from her first vampire sealed the deal. But they'd never actually said the words. Now she couldn't hold back. The words burst from her lips. "I love you, too, Xander!" She lunged in for another quick kiss.
"Wow," Xander said a minute later, "if that's how you react, I'll have to say I love you more often."
"Say it everyday," Buffy said, leaning against his chest.
"As much as I'm enjoying this," Xander said, tightening his arms around her shoulders, "you've got to meet Giles, and I've got to meet Sonya."
"Yeah." Buffy sighed and then separated from him in one quick motion, as if lingering would make it impossible for her to break free. They left the basement and made their way toward the library. Xander grabbed her hand casually, and they walked down the hall swinging their clasped hands between them.