Destiny Lost
#2: In the Space of Desire
Authors: Sonya and Erin
E-mail: sonyajeb@swbell.net OR carynsilver@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: B/X, O/Other, AU, action/adventure, romance
Summary: This is a sequel to our epic saga "In the Space of a Heartbeat," which is a story about what would happen if Buffy had never gotten the Slayer powers.
Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up.
Distribution: Regulars... SURE!!! Newbies... ask and you shall recieve!
Feedback: Love it! We want to know your likes AND dislikes. Flames are the only thing we do not accept.
Spoilers: None much for the shows, but heavy spoilers for the earlier installments of this fanfic series!
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Chapter Five
Medical Clinic
Xander held the door open and Sonya rolled her chair up to the window to speak with a bored-looking nurse. Xander took a seat on one of the vinyl-covered green chairs in the waiting room and watched.
"My name is Sonya Parker. I'm here for an appointment with Dr. Keller." Her tone was brisk, purposeful and quite a bit demanding.
"New patient?" the nurse intoned, attaching some papers to a clipboard.
Sonya lifted an eyebrow toward the woman. "Isn't everyone in Sunnydale a new patient for him?"
The nurse didn't bat an eyelash at Sonya's attitude. She handed over the clipboard and stood. "Fill these out, please. I'll tell the doctor that you're here. He'll see you in a few minutes."
Sonya sniffed and rolled herself into the waiting room near Xander. Then she started filling out the forms. "Here comes the waiting part. Why do doctors always think they can make you wait?"
"Because they can," Xander replied with a grin, hoping to lighten the mood. Sonya gave him a "look" and then concentrated on filling out her forms.
Xander wondered why Sonya was so prickly. Well, actually he knew a lot of the reasons why, but it always amazed him to watch the transformation. In the car she had been so open to him, her most friendly self. And now she was back in bitch-mode. He sighed, wishing for the umpteenth time that there was something he could do to help his best friend. His mind flashed back to his conversation with Buffy earlier. Of course, remembering Buffy meant remembering their passionate interlude on the basement stairs, but he reluctantly fast-forwarded beyond that to the hallway after Amy's exit.
"Hey," he said to Sonya, "you never told me what happened with you and Oz this morning."
Sonya looked up in shock, making Xander think something else was going on. "What do you mean, Harris?"
"This morning, the van... Oz giving you a ride... Ring a bell?"
"Oh." Sonya looked relieved. Then she said, "Nothing. He just gave me a lift, that's all. We barely even talked. You know Oz -- reticent just does not cover it."
Xander could sense her guards going up again. Something else must've happened. "Are you sure that's all, Parker, or are you hiding something from your best friend?"
Sonya met his eyes, and he saw her shuttered resolve fade away. "He came up to me during break when I was really upset and depressed. I kind of bit his head off. I haven't seen him since."
"Oh, man... that's too bad," Xander said, revising his hope that Sonya and the silent guitarist would find a way to be together.
"I mean, not that I really miss him or anything," Sonya continued -- more bravado in Xander's opinion, but he wasn't going to rub it in.
"If you want, I could have Buffy talk to him for you," Xander suggested.
"Yeah, she can pass him a note for me after recess," Sonya said with a sarcastic sneer.
"Ha, ha, very funny," Xander replied. "I just meant that they're really good friends, and she could tell him that you didn't mean whatever you said... you know, get the ball rolling again."
"No!" Sonya exclaimed.
"Why not?" Xander never knew how Sonya would react to Buffy. Sometimes things were fine, and other times the combination was a keg of gunpowder waiting to explode.
"I just..."
Sonya was interrupted by the nurse coming to the door. "Right this way, Miss Parker. The doctor will see you now."
Xander stood as Sonya started to wheel herself over to the doorway. "You want me to come with?"
She looked back. "No. I've got to do this myself. But wait here for me, OK? It helps to know I can call you if I need you."
"No problem-o. I'll be here." Xander sat back down and smiled at her. "Besides... I'm your ride home."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy walked into her house still a little miffed from her training session with Giles. She put her stuff down in the foyer and wandered into the kitchen looking for her mother.
"Mom!" she called, dragging out the word for several beats.
"In here, honey," Joyce replied in a muffled tone.
Buffy followed the voice downstairs to the basement where Joyce had her head inside the washing machine. "What are you doing?"
Joyce stood up and gave the machine a frustrated kick. "There's a sock stuck down there, but I can't get it out. It's wedged too tight."
"Let me try." Buffy peeked down in the washer and saw the toe of one of her mom's warm, knit socks peeking out from under the plastic center thing. (What the heck to you call that thing, anyway?) Buffy wondered. She hopped up so her stomach on the edge of the washer held all of her weight, then she grabbed the sock with both hands and pulled. It held fast for a moment, and then there was a ripping sound.
"Umm... sorry, Mom, but this is all I got." Buffy straightened up and hopped down, handing Joyce half of the sock. She wondered if her mother would be mad.
Joyce laughed. "Thanks for trying, sweetie! I guess you just don't know your own strength."
Buffy smiled, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Her mother was so close to finding out. Lately, Joyce had been noticing a lot of things that just didn't add up -- Buffy's late hours, a slight drop in grades, constant preoccupation, odd stains on her clothes and now this dumb sock. Luckily most of it could be attributed to having a new boyfriend. And -- also luckily -- Joyce had a soft spot in her heart for Xander, so she overlooked a few curfew violations.
For a second, Buffy was tempted to just blurt out the truth. (What could it hurt?) she asked herself. (Sure, Mom will be stunned at first, and maybe a little scared, but in the long run, isn't honesty the best policy? If it isn't, then why did they make up that cliche?) It really hurt her not to be honest with her mother. Every time she lied, Buffy felt herself growing farther and farther away from her mother -- the woman who had been both her mother and her best friend through the hardest years of her life. Buffy opened her mouth to blurt out the truth, when suddenly she saw Giles' forbidding face in her mind's eye. Reluctantly, she bit back the comment and decided to change the subject. "So, what's for dinner?"
The two women turned and went back up into the kitchen. "Actually, I hadn't really thought about it," Joyce admitted. "I was going to make a nice meal when I got home from the gallery, then laundry took all my attention."
"Sandwiches?" Buffy surmised.
"Sandwiches," Joyce agreed.
When they entered the kitchen, the mother and daughter team went about their separate tasks with an easy familiarity. Buffy got down two plates and glasses, and started fixing drinks -- water for herself, and tea for her mother. Joyce got the meat, cheese, condiments and veggies out of the refrigerator and began fixing two thick and hearty turkey sandwiches. Buffy got out the pretzels and set the table, and soon the pair were enjoying their quickly made dinner.
"So, how was school today, honey?" Joyce asked around a bite of sandwich.
"Ah, the classic parent-child question," Buffy responded with a grin.
Joyce laughed, but added, "Seriously, I really want to know. You're so busy lately, we never get to talk anymore."
Though her mom said it matter-of-factly and without malice, Buffy's feelings of guilt began to resurface -- as did her Watcher's disapproving face. She would have to go for the non-Slayer response.
"Well," Buffy said, thinking about her day and editing out any stuff Giles would forbid her to mention and any stuff that was better off censored, "... um... I got an A on my math exam."
"That's good," Joyce said, ready to praise her daughter. "You see, I told you that all you had to was ration your time between studies and Xander and your grades would come up again."
"Yeah," Buffy said, looking down at her plate. To change the track of the conversation, she said, "Sonya's going to a new doctor this afternoon. He's supposed to have this new miracle treatment for paralysis."
"Really?" Joyce's face took on a slightly sad expression. Buffy could tell her mother was remembering when they went through much the same thing. "Do you think this one will work? I thought her condition was permanent."
"I don't know," Buffy replied honestly. "I told her anything was worth a try, though." She paused and then asked, "Do you think I did the right thing? If it were me, I'd see the guy -- I mean, we did that. But what if he can't help her, and her hopes get raised for nothing?"
Joyce reached over and covered Buffy's hand with her own. "Buffy, you have a kind and loving heart. I know you and Sonya have had your problems..."
Buffy started to protest, but Joyce kept talking over her. "... I may be your mother, but I'm not blind. You and Sonya have the hardest kind of friendship -- a friendship based on rivalry. But even so, I can tell that you care about her, and underneath, I'm sure she knows that, too. I think you did the right thing encouraging her like that. You'll just have to be there for her if things don't go like we all hope."
"Thanks, Mom," Buffy said with a genuine smile. "You always know how to make me feel better."
"That's my job, honey." Joyce nibbled a pretzel and gave her daughter a measuring look.
Buffy could tell that her mother wanted to ask her something. "Out with it. What's on your mind?"
"Well, I know you don't need me interfering with your school life, but I was wondering if you'd mind if I had a conference with your Mr. Giles."
"What?" Buffy's eyes grew wide. "Why?"
"It's nothing bad," Joyce assured her daughter. "It's just that he's been tutoring you after school ever since your grades dropped..."
Buffy sighed, remembering the lie she'd told to cover her long hours spend at the school after hours. It was so hard to keep track of them all.
"... and I just wanted to tell him that he's doing a great job, and ask if there's anything I can do to help," Joyce finished with a look of motherly concern.
"Um..." Buffy hesitated. "I guess you can, if you want to. But Mr. Giles doesn't really like surprises. He's kind of stuffy. You'd better call him first." She hoped that with the warning of a phone call, Giles would have time to concoct some lies of his own since they were so important to him.
"All right," Joyce said. "I'll do that. You don't mind, do you, honey? You talk about him almost as much as you talk about Xander, Sonya and Oz -- it just seems like I should meet him."
"Sure, Mom," Buffy mumbled, taking a big bite of her sandwich to stall any further conversation for awhile. Now she remembered why mother-daughter bonding had been lessened over the past month -- lies were hard.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sonya followed the silent nurse down a brightly lit hallway and into a large examination room. The room was well-equipped for the handicapped, she noticed. Everything was low enough for wheelchair access, and there were ramps and bars instead of stairs.
"Wait here," the nurse said in her normal, expressionless tone. "Dr. Keller will be right in to see you." The nurse -- her nametag read Jane -- gave her a smile that looked oddly artificial on her otherwise expressionless face.
Sonya watched Nurse Jane leave, shaking her head with a combination of wonder and amusement. She hoped Dr. Keller was more animated or this was going to be one boring visit.
She expected to wait for at least ten or fifteen minutes -- that was how visits to the doctor normally worked -- but the door to the examining room swung open a bare two minutes later.
"You must be Miss Parker," the man in the white coat said in loud, bass tones. "I'm Dr. Nigel Keller."
Sonya couldn't help but answer his smile. It was warm and all-encompassing. Dr. Keller was over six feet tall, so she had to crane her neck to meet his dark eyes which were hidden behind thick glasses. His smiling mouth was only partially hidden behind a thick, black beard that matched the short, dark hair on the top of his head. But his most remarkable feature was his overall largeness. In addition to being so tall, Dr. Keller was big around as well. Some of it was fat, but some of it was muscle. His hands and fingers were big, his feet were big, his legs were long, his girth was wide. Sonya decided that big was just the only word to describe him. He fit in with the jolly-fat person image. She found herself being actually pleasant to the man -- which was a first.
"Hi, Dr. Keller. You can call me Sonya, if you want."
"Sonya, what a beautiful name," the doctor said in a slight European accent, walking across the room to shake her hand with a firm grasp. His large hand swallowed hers in its grip.
As she watched him walk over to his desk and sit down so they were almost at eye level, another thing struck her about this man -- his grace. He carried himself with an ease that belied his bigness. There was nothing klutzy about him at all.
"So, Sonya," Dr. Keller said, "first of all, tell me a little about why you're here."
That brought Sonya's defense mechanisms back into play. "Isn't it obvious?" She slapped her immobile legs and the crack echoed around the room, enhanced by the tile floor. "I want to walk again. And you're supposed to be this hot-shot miracle surgeon who can make that happen -- or so the media says."
"I may very well be able to do that," Dr. Keller said, taking no offense at her angry remarks -- as if he dealt with such outbursts every day. "But first I need to know some of your history... I need to know about the accident and some of the treatments that have been done on you since then."
"Oh." Sonya looked anywhere but at the doctor's piercing gaze. "Well, I had gone down into this cave, and while I was down there, the roof caved in on me. It was quite the story in Sunnydale for a few days." Sonya conveniently left out any mention of the Master. "A friend who'd followed me pulled me out, but the doctors said my spine had been shattered. They did what they could to repair it. I had several surgeries -- you could call the hospital for details. I don't remember everything -- I was kind of out of it for several weeks. Nothing ever helped though. I haven't felt anything below my waist since the cave in."
"Ah..." Dr. Keller murmured, scribbling information down on a clipboard as she spoke. "Did you try anything after that?"
"What do you mean?" Sonya looked up, wondering if she should mention the warlocks and other magically-inclined individuals Giles had sought out in hopes of a cure.
"Some patients try... oh, I suppose you could call them New Age remedies. Herbs, incantations, miracle pills... that sort of thing," Dr. Keller explained.
Sonya blushed. "Well, my guardian, Mr. Giles, did try some of those things -- herbs and incantations, especially, but -- as you can see -- none of the worked."
Dr. Keller scribbled a little more, then he stuck the pen in his pocket and turned to face her. "I need to examine you now."
"OK." Sonya glanced at the high table in the middle of the room. "Do I have to be up there?" She knew getting up there alone wasn't feasible. The bed was the only thing in the room not handicapped accessible -- she assumed because Dr. Keller had to be able to work over it.
"No," he answered, "not yet. I just need to do a couple of quick tests to verify what you've told me. I'm sure you've had tests like these before."
He reached into the pocket of his white coat and pulled out a long stick pin. Sonya pulled up her long skirt to give the doctor access, and he knelt on the floor next to her.
"Tell me when you can feel anything," he ordered, and began sticking the pin into her leg, starting at the ankle. He stopped when he reached her thigh. "Nothing?"
Sonya shook her head. The results were just as she'd expected. "You could keep moving up, and I wouldn't feel anything until right about here." She gestured to her hips. When the doctor stood again, she pulled her skirt back down, covering the motionless, white lumps that used to be her legs.
Dr. Keller sat back down at the small desk and looked over her file again. After a long moment, he turned to her and said, "Sonya, I think I can help you. Your case is almost identical to several that I worked on back in Los Angeles. I'm willing to take you on as a patient, and if you want we can even begin the treatments today."
"What kind of treatments are you offering?" Sonya asked for clarification.
"It's a new technique of my own design," the doctor replied with no small measure of pride. "It combines the latest medical breakthroughs in lasers, electromagnetic fields and sonic vibrations with homeopathic medicine."
"Can you give it me in layman's' terms?"
"I'm sorry," Dr. Keller said with a grin. "You'll take a half-hour treatment in a machine of my own design during every visit. The machine inundates the nerves that aren't working with electromagnetic fields and sonic vibrations. This stimulates and re-energizes those nerves that are still in tact and just not sending the proper signals to your brain. We'll combine this with an aggressive medicinal attack. I have patented an herbal pill that will actually start the regenerative process within your nervous system. The final step, after these treatments have taken effect, will be a laser surgery to mend any regenerated nerves."
"You can do that?" Sonya demanded, afraid to hope. But he sounded so sure... "It sounds so science-fiction-y."
"It does, doesn't it?" Dr. Keller admitted. "But, in fact, the field of medicine is leaping ahead miles every day. This is the cutting edge. Of course, it is still an experimental procedure. I've succeeded in several cases such as yours, and I'm very optimistic in your case -- should you choose to become my patient."
"Are there any risks involved in this 'experimental' treatment?" she asked.
"No more than you'd expect with anything. You could have reactions to the herbs, but I don't think so. No one else has. When we do the surgery, there will be the usual risk of anesthesia, but that's rampant in all surgeries. The machine puts out nothing that can be harmful to your body in small doses."
"What about cost?" Sonya finally asked. This sounded tempting, and Dr. Keller seemed so sure about it, but her resources were pretty limited. Giles was her legal guardian -- the Council had helped arrange that because of her family situation -- and the Council had helped him with all her expenses. Now, however, the Council had no reason to help her, and she wasn't sure if Giles' medical insurance through the school would cover something experimental.
"That's where you are lucky," Dr. Keller said, his smile widening. "Because this treatment is still in the experimental stages, I'm working on a government grant. When this process is approved, it will cost thousands of dollars, but now all you have to do is cover the cost of your eventual hospital stay. My grant covers the rest."
That won her over. "OK. I'll do it."
"Are you ready to start today?" Dr. Keller asked.
"Today?"
He gave her his toothy grin. "As you can see, by moving my practice here, I have to start building a client base again. Right now, I'm at your disposal."
"All right then."
Dr. Keller moved behind her and took the handles of her chair in his hands. "I'll take you into the other room and Jane will help you change."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander sat in the waiting room for over two hours. After the first hour, he walked up to the window and rang the bell to get Nurse Jane's attention.
"Excuse me," he said when she finally looked up from her filing, "but do all appointments with Dr. Keller take this long?"
"Not all of them," the nurse answered, "but your friend is a special case. Dr. Keller is taking her on to treatment right now. It will be a little while before they're done."
"Sonya agreed to do the treatment?" Xander repeated incredulously. "Wow. That's a good thing, right?"
"Dr. Keller thinks so." Nurse Jane turned back to her work, adding, "Your friend will be out in due time. Just wait, please."
Xander went back to his green vinyl chair and flipped through an outdated copy of People magazine. (Why are all doctor's office magazines out of date?) he wondered idly. (This office has only been open for a week and already his magazines are older than crud. There must be an out-of-date magazine distributing service that all doctors subscribe to...)
He sat and waited for what seemed an interminable amount of time, when a noise in the hallway caught his attention. He saw Sonya wheeling herself out. She looked different to him somehow, more radiant -- perhaps it had something to do with the big smile on her face. He got up and walked over to her.
"How'd it go?" he asked.
"Fine," Sonya replied. "Better than fine, actually."
"That's good."
Nurse Jane interrupted them by bringing Sonya a small white bag. "This is your prescription. Take one three times a day, with food. And Dr. Keller said to schedule you for the same time tomorrow."
"OK." Sonya looked at Xander. "Can you drive me again?"
"Sure," he agreed without hesitation.
"Great," Sonya replied with a smile aimed just at him. "So, Geeves, how's about I treat you to dinner in repayment for your chauffeuring services?"
Xander nodded. "Sounds great. Let's go."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy stared at the clock on the mantel in frustration. "Where *is* he?" she muttered to herself, pacing to the window and looking out yet again. But still there was no sign of Xander's jeep.
"Something wrong, honey?" Joyce asked, coming into the living room.
"It's Xander. He's late," Buffy explained. "We were supposed to go hear Oz's band play tonight. The Dingoes got a new gig at this dance club in Calvin." She was happy that Oz and his band had found a gig in the next town over so she could still go see them. "The club is called The Cellar. You have to go downstairs to get to it."
"Are you sure Xander was picking you up?" Joyce asked. "Maybe you were meeting him there."
"Well... maybe..." Buffy said, putting on her most wheedling tone, "if you let me borrow the car."
Joyce gave Buffy a look of near-horror. "Maybe you could call Oz and see if he can give you a lift."
"OK," Buffy agreed with a smile. "But you know that one day you're going to have to let me drive."
"I know," Joyce said, "but not today."
Buffy went and made the call. Luckily, Oz was running late, and just walking out the door. He promised to be over in a few minutes. Until he got there, Buffy paced back and forth, alternating from staring at the clock and staring out the window.
When Oz's van pulled up in the driveway, Buffy gave her mother a quick kiss on the cheek. "If Xander shows up here late, tell him I went to meet him there."
"All right," Joyce said. "Have fun, and be careful!"
"Sure, Mom!" Buffy waved and blew her mother another kiss before jumping into the van and heading off for The Cellar.
#2: In the Space of Desire
Authors: Sonya and Erin
E-mail: sonyajeb@swbell.net OR carynsilver@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: B/X, O/Other, AU, action/adventure, romance
Summary: This is a sequel to our epic saga "In the Space of a Heartbeat," which is a story about what would happen if Buffy had never gotten the Slayer powers.
Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up.
Distribution: Regulars... SURE!!! Newbies... ask and you shall recieve!
Feedback: Love it! We want to know your likes AND dislikes. Flames are the only thing we do not accept.
Spoilers: None much for the shows, but heavy spoilers for the earlier installments of this fanfic series!
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Chapter Five
Medical Clinic
Xander held the door open and Sonya rolled her chair up to the window to speak with a bored-looking nurse. Xander took a seat on one of the vinyl-covered green chairs in the waiting room and watched.
"My name is Sonya Parker. I'm here for an appointment with Dr. Keller." Her tone was brisk, purposeful and quite a bit demanding.
"New patient?" the nurse intoned, attaching some papers to a clipboard.
Sonya lifted an eyebrow toward the woman. "Isn't everyone in Sunnydale a new patient for him?"
The nurse didn't bat an eyelash at Sonya's attitude. She handed over the clipboard and stood. "Fill these out, please. I'll tell the doctor that you're here. He'll see you in a few minutes."
Sonya sniffed and rolled herself into the waiting room near Xander. Then she started filling out the forms. "Here comes the waiting part. Why do doctors always think they can make you wait?"
"Because they can," Xander replied with a grin, hoping to lighten the mood. Sonya gave him a "look" and then concentrated on filling out her forms.
Xander wondered why Sonya was so prickly. Well, actually he knew a lot of the reasons why, but it always amazed him to watch the transformation. In the car she had been so open to him, her most friendly self. And now she was back in bitch-mode. He sighed, wishing for the umpteenth time that there was something he could do to help his best friend. His mind flashed back to his conversation with Buffy earlier. Of course, remembering Buffy meant remembering their passionate interlude on the basement stairs, but he reluctantly fast-forwarded beyond that to the hallway after Amy's exit.
"Hey," he said to Sonya, "you never told me what happened with you and Oz this morning."
Sonya looked up in shock, making Xander think something else was going on. "What do you mean, Harris?"
"This morning, the van... Oz giving you a ride... Ring a bell?"
"Oh." Sonya looked relieved. Then she said, "Nothing. He just gave me a lift, that's all. We barely even talked. You know Oz -- reticent just does not cover it."
Xander could sense her guards going up again. Something else must've happened. "Are you sure that's all, Parker, or are you hiding something from your best friend?"
Sonya met his eyes, and he saw her shuttered resolve fade away. "He came up to me during break when I was really upset and depressed. I kind of bit his head off. I haven't seen him since."
"Oh, man... that's too bad," Xander said, revising his hope that Sonya and the silent guitarist would find a way to be together.
"I mean, not that I really miss him or anything," Sonya continued -- more bravado in Xander's opinion, but he wasn't going to rub it in.
"If you want, I could have Buffy talk to him for you," Xander suggested.
"Yeah, she can pass him a note for me after recess," Sonya said with a sarcastic sneer.
"Ha, ha, very funny," Xander replied. "I just meant that they're really good friends, and she could tell him that you didn't mean whatever you said... you know, get the ball rolling again."
"No!" Sonya exclaimed.
"Why not?" Xander never knew how Sonya would react to Buffy. Sometimes things were fine, and other times the combination was a keg of gunpowder waiting to explode.
"I just..."
Sonya was interrupted by the nurse coming to the door. "Right this way, Miss Parker. The doctor will see you now."
Xander stood as Sonya started to wheel herself over to the doorway. "You want me to come with?"
She looked back. "No. I've got to do this myself. But wait here for me, OK? It helps to know I can call you if I need you."
"No problem-o. I'll be here." Xander sat back down and smiled at her. "Besides... I'm your ride home."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy walked into her house still a little miffed from her training session with Giles. She put her stuff down in the foyer and wandered into the kitchen looking for her mother.
"Mom!" she called, dragging out the word for several beats.
"In here, honey," Joyce replied in a muffled tone.
Buffy followed the voice downstairs to the basement where Joyce had her head inside the washing machine. "What are you doing?"
Joyce stood up and gave the machine a frustrated kick. "There's a sock stuck down there, but I can't get it out. It's wedged too tight."
"Let me try." Buffy peeked down in the washer and saw the toe of one of her mom's warm, knit socks peeking out from under the plastic center thing. (What the heck to you call that thing, anyway?) Buffy wondered. She hopped up so her stomach on the edge of the washer held all of her weight, then she grabbed the sock with both hands and pulled. It held fast for a moment, and then there was a ripping sound.
"Umm... sorry, Mom, but this is all I got." Buffy straightened up and hopped down, handing Joyce half of the sock. She wondered if her mother would be mad.
Joyce laughed. "Thanks for trying, sweetie! I guess you just don't know your own strength."
Buffy smiled, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Her mother was so close to finding out. Lately, Joyce had been noticing a lot of things that just didn't add up -- Buffy's late hours, a slight drop in grades, constant preoccupation, odd stains on her clothes and now this dumb sock. Luckily most of it could be attributed to having a new boyfriend. And -- also luckily -- Joyce had a soft spot in her heart for Xander, so she overlooked a few curfew violations.
For a second, Buffy was tempted to just blurt out the truth. (What could it hurt?) she asked herself. (Sure, Mom will be stunned at first, and maybe a little scared, but in the long run, isn't honesty the best policy? If it isn't, then why did they make up that cliche?) It really hurt her not to be honest with her mother. Every time she lied, Buffy felt herself growing farther and farther away from her mother -- the woman who had been both her mother and her best friend through the hardest years of her life. Buffy opened her mouth to blurt out the truth, when suddenly she saw Giles' forbidding face in her mind's eye. Reluctantly, she bit back the comment and decided to change the subject. "So, what's for dinner?"
The two women turned and went back up into the kitchen. "Actually, I hadn't really thought about it," Joyce admitted. "I was going to make a nice meal when I got home from the gallery, then laundry took all my attention."
"Sandwiches?" Buffy surmised.
"Sandwiches," Joyce agreed.
When they entered the kitchen, the mother and daughter team went about their separate tasks with an easy familiarity. Buffy got down two plates and glasses, and started fixing drinks -- water for herself, and tea for her mother. Joyce got the meat, cheese, condiments and veggies out of the refrigerator and began fixing two thick and hearty turkey sandwiches. Buffy got out the pretzels and set the table, and soon the pair were enjoying their quickly made dinner.
"So, how was school today, honey?" Joyce asked around a bite of sandwich.
"Ah, the classic parent-child question," Buffy responded with a grin.
Joyce laughed, but added, "Seriously, I really want to know. You're so busy lately, we never get to talk anymore."
Though her mom said it matter-of-factly and without malice, Buffy's feelings of guilt began to resurface -- as did her Watcher's disapproving face. She would have to go for the non-Slayer response.
"Well," Buffy said, thinking about her day and editing out any stuff Giles would forbid her to mention and any stuff that was better off censored, "... um... I got an A on my math exam."
"That's good," Joyce said, ready to praise her daughter. "You see, I told you that all you had to was ration your time between studies and Xander and your grades would come up again."
"Yeah," Buffy said, looking down at her plate. To change the track of the conversation, she said, "Sonya's going to a new doctor this afternoon. He's supposed to have this new miracle treatment for paralysis."
"Really?" Joyce's face took on a slightly sad expression. Buffy could tell her mother was remembering when they went through much the same thing. "Do you think this one will work? I thought her condition was permanent."
"I don't know," Buffy replied honestly. "I told her anything was worth a try, though." She paused and then asked, "Do you think I did the right thing? If it were me, I'd see the guy -- I mean, we did that. But what if he can't help her, and her hopes get raised for nothing?"
Joyce reached over and covered Buffy's hand with her own. "Buffy, you have a kind and loving heart. I know you and Sonya have had your problems..."
Buffy started to protest, but Joyce kept talking over her. "... I may be your mother, but I'm not blind. You and Sonya have the hardest kind of friendship -- a friendship based on rivalry. But even so, I can tell that you care about her, and underneath, I'm sure she knows that, too. I think you did the right thing encouraging her like that. You'll just have to be there for her if things don't go like we all hope."
"Thanks, Mom," Buffy said with a genuine smile. "You always know how to make me feel better."
"That's my job, honey." Joyce nibbled a pretzel and gave her daughter a measuring look.
Buffy could tell that her mother wanted to ask her something. "Out with it. What's on your mind?"
"Well, I know you don't need me interfering with your school life, but I was wondering if you'd mind if I had a conference with your Mr. Giles."
"What?" Buffy's eyes grew wide. "Why?"
"It's nothing bad," Joyce assured her daughter. "It's just that he's been tutoring you after school ever since your grades dropped..."
Buffy sighed, remembering the lie she'd told to cover her long hours spend at the school after hours. It was so hard to keep track of them all.
"... and I just wanted to tell him that he's doing a great job, and ask if there's anything I can do to help," Joyce finished with a look of motherly concern.
"Um..." Buffy hesitated. "I guess you can, if you want to. But Mr. Giles doesn't really like surprises. He's kind of stuffy. You'd better call him first." She hoped that with the warning of a phone call, Giles would have time to concoct some lies of his own since they were so important to him.
"All right," Joyce said. "I'll do that. You don't mind, do you, honey? You talk about him almost as much as you talk about Xander, Sonya and Oz -- it just seems like I should meet him."
"Sure, Mom," Buffy mumbled, taking a big bite of her sandwich to stall any further conversation for awhile. Now she remembered why mother-daughter bonding had been lessened over the past month -- lies were hard.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sonya followed the silent nurse down a brightly lit hallway and into a large examination room. The room was well-equipped for the handicapped, she noticed. Everything was low enough for wheelchair access, and there were ramps and bars instead of stairs.
"Wait here," the nurse said in her normal, expressionless tone. "Dr. Keller will be right in to see you." The nurse -- her nametag read Jane -- gave her a smile that looked oddly artificial on her otherwise expressionless face.
Sonya watched Nurse Jane leave, shaking her head with a combination of wonder and amusement. She hoped Dr. Keller was more animated or this was going to be one boring visit.
She expected to wait for at least ten or fifteen minutes -- that was how visits to the doctor normally worked -- but the door to the examining room swung open a bare two minutes later.
"You must be Miss Parker," the man in the white coat said in loud, bass tones. "I'm Dr. Nigel Keller."
Sonya couldn't help but answer his smile. It was warm and all-encompassing. Dr. Keller was over six feet tall, so she had to crane her neck to meet his dark eyes which were hidden behind thick glasses. His smiling mouth was only partially hidden behind a thick, black beard that matched the short, dark hair on the top of his head. But his most remarkable feature was his overall largeness. In addition to being so tall, Dr. Keller was big around as well. Some of it was fat, but some of it was muscle. His hands and fingers were big, his feet were big, his legs were long, his girth was wide. Sonya decided that big was just the only word to describe him. He fit in with the jolly-fat person image. She found herself being actually pleasant to the man -- which was a first.
"Hi, Dr. Keller. You can call me Sonya, if you want."
"Sonya, what a beautiful name," the doctor said in a slight European accent, walking across the room to shake her hand with a firm grasp. His large hand swallowed hers in its grip.
As she watched him walk over to his desk and sit down so they were almost at eye level, another thing struck her about this man -- his grace. He carried himself with an ease that belied his bigness. There was nothing klutzy about him at all.
"So, Sonya," Dr. Keller said, "first of all, tell me a little about why you're here."
That brought Sonya's defense mechanisms back into play. "Isn't it obvious?" She slapped her immobile legs and the crack echoed around the room, enhanced by the tile floor. "I want to walk again. And you're supposed to be this hot-shot miracle surgeon who can make that happen -- or so the media says."
"I may very well be able to do that," Dr. Keller said, taking no offense at her angry remarks -- as if he dealt with such outbursts every day. "But first I need to know some of your history... I need to know about the accident and some of the treatments that have been done on you since then."
"Oh." Sonya looked anywhere but at the doctor's piercing gaze. "Well, I had gone down into this cave, and while I was down there, the roof caved in on me. It was quite the story in Sunnydale for a few days." Sonya conveniently left out any mention of the Master. "A friend who'd followed me pulled me out, but the doctors said my spine had been shattered. They did what they could to repair it. I had several surgeries -- you could call the hospital for details. I don't remember everything -- I was kind of out of it for several weeks. Nothing ever helped though. I haven't felt anything below my waist since the cave in."
"Ah..." Dr. Keller murmured, scribbling information down on a clipboard as she spoke. "Did you try anything after that?"
"What do you mean?" Sonya looked up, wondering if she should mention the warlocks and other magically-inclined individuals Giles had sought out in hopes of a cure.
"Some patients try... oh, I suppose you could call them New Age remedies. Herbs, incantations, miracle pills... that sort of thing," Dr. Keller explained.
Sonya blushed. "Well, my guardian, Mr. Giles, did try some of those things -- herbs and incantations, especially, but -- as you can see -- none of the worked."
Dr. Keller scribbled a little more, then he stuck the pen in his pocket and turned to face her. "I need to examine you now."
"OK." Sonya glanced at the high table in the middle of the room. "Do I have to be up there?" She knew getting up there alone wasn't feasible. The bed was the only thing in the room not handicapped accessible -- she assumed because Dr. Keller had to be able to work over it.
"No," he answered, "not yet. I just need to do a couple of quick tests to verify what you've told me. I'm sure you've had tests like these before."
He reached into the pocket of his white coat and pulled out a long stick pin. Sonya pulled up her long skirt to give the doctor access, and he knelt on the floor next to her.
"Tell me when you can feel anything," he ordered, and began sticking the pin into her leg, starting at the ankle. He stopped when he reached her thigh. "Nothing?"
Sonya shook her head. The results were just as she'd expected. "You could keep moving up, and I wouldn't feel anything until right about here." She gestured to her hips. When the doctor stood again, she pulled her skirt back down, covering the motionless, white lumps that used to be her legs.
Dr. Keller sat back down at the small desk and looked over her file again. After a long moment, he turned to her and said, "Sonya, I think I can help you. Your case is almost identical to several that I worked on back in Los Angeles. I'm willing to take you on as a patient, and if you want we can even begin the treatments today."
"What kind of treatments are you offering?" Sonya asked for clarification.
"It's a new technique of my own design," the doctor replied with no small measure of pride. "It combines the latest medical breakthroughs in lasers, electromagnetic fields and sonic vibrations with homeopathic medicine."
"Can you give it me in layman's' terms?"
"I'm sorry," Dr. Keller said with a grin. "You'll take a half-hour treatment in a machine of my own design during every visit. The machine inundates the nerves that aren't working with electromagnetic fields and sonic vibrations. This stimulates and re-energizes those nerves that are still in tact and just not sending the proper signals to your brain. We'll combine this with an aggressive medicinal attack. I have patented an herbal pill that will actually start the regenerative process within your nervous system. The final step, after these treatments have taken effect, will be a laser surgery to mend any regenerated nerves."
"You can do that?" Sonya demanded, afraid to hope. But he sounded so sure... "It sounds so science-fiction-y."
"It does, doesn't it?" Dr. Keller admitted. "But, in fact, the field of medicine is leaping ahead miles every day. This is the cutting edge. Of course, it is still an experimental procedure. I've succeeded in several cases such as yours, and I'm very optimistic in your case -- should you choose to become my patient."
"Are there any risks involved in this 'experimental' treatment?" she asked.
"No more than you'd expect with anything. You could have reactions to the herbs, but I don't think so. No one else has. When we do the surgery, there will be the usual risk of anesthesia, but that's rampant in all surgeries. The machine puts out nothing that can be harmful to your body in small doses."
"What about cost?" Sonya finally asked. This sounded tempting, and Dr. Keller seemed so sure about it, but her resources were pretty limited. Giles was her legal guardian -- the Council had helped arrange that because of her family situation -- and the Council had helped him with all her expenses. Now, however, the Council had no reason to help her, and she wasn't sure if Giles' medical insurance through the school would cover something experimental.
"That's where you are lucky," Dr. Keller said, his smile widening. "Because this treatment is still in the experimental stages, I'm working on a government grant. When this process is approved, it will cost thousands of dollars, but now all you have to do is cover the cost of your eventual hospital stay. My grant covers the rest."
That won her over. "OK. I'll do it."
"Are you ready to start today?" Dr. Keller asked.
"Today?"
He gave her his toothy grin. "As you can see, by moving my practice here, I have to start building a client base again. Right now, I'm at your disposal."
"All right then."
Dr. Keller moved behind her and took the handles of her chair in his hands. "I'll take you into the other room and Jane will help you change."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander sat in the waiting room for over two hours. After the first hour, he walked up to the window and rang the bell to get Nurse Jane's attention.
"Excuse me," he said when she finally looked up from her filing, "but do all appointments with Dr. Keller take this long?"
"Not all of them," the nurse answered, "but your friend is a special case. Dr. Keller is taking her on to treatment right now. It will be a little while before they're done."
"Sonya agreed to do the treatment?" Xander repeated incredulously. "Wow. That's a good thing, right?"
"Dr. Keller thinks so." Nurse Jane turned back to her work, adding, "Your friend will be out in due time. Just wait, please."
Xander went back to his green vinyl chair and flipped through an outdated copy of People magazine. (Why are all doctor's office magazines out of date?) he wondered idly. (This office has only been open for a week and already his magazines are older than crud. There must be an out-of-date magazine distributing service that all doctors subscribe to...)
He sat and waited for what seemed an interminable amount of time, when a noise in the hallway caught his attention. He saw Sonya wheeling herself out. She looked different to him somehow, more radiant -- perhaps it had something to do with the big smile on her face. He got up and walked over to her.
"How'd it go?" he asked.
"Fine," Sonya replied. "Better than fine, actually."
"That's good."
Nurse Jane interrupted them by bringing Sonya a small white bag. "This is your prescription. Take one three times a day, with food. And Dr. Keller said to schedule you for the same time tomorrow."
"OK." Sonya looked at Xander. "Can you drive me again?"
"Sure," he agreed without hesitation.
"Great," Sonya replied with a smile aimed just at him. "So, Geeves, how's about I treat you to dinner in repayment for your chauffeuring services?"
Xander nodded. "Sounds great. Let's go."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy stared at the clock on the mantel in frustration. "Where *is* he?" she muttered to herself, pacing to the window and looking out yet again. But still there was no sign of Xander's jeep.
"Something wrong, honey?" Joyce asked, coming into the living room.
"It's Xander. He's late," Buffy explained. "We were supposed to go hear Oz's band play tonight. The Dingoes got a new gig at this dance club in Calvin." She was happy that Oz and his band had found a gig in the next town over so she could still go see them. "The club is called The Cellar. You have to go downstairs to get to it."
"Are you sure Xander was picking you up?" Joyce asked. "Maybe you were meeting him there."
"Well... maybe..." Buffy said, putting on her most wheedling tone, "if you let me borrow the car."
Joyce gave Buffy a look of near-horror. "Maybe you could call Oz and see if he can give you a lift."
"OK," Buffy agreed with a smile. "But you know that one day you're going to have to let me drive."
"I know," Joyce said, "but not today."
Buffy went and made the call. Luckily, Oz was running late, and just walking out the door. He promised to be over in a few minutes. Until he got there, Buffy paced back and forth, alternating from staring at the clock and staring out the window.
When Oz's van pulled up in the driveway, Buffy gave her mother a quick kiss on the cheek. "If Xander shows up here late, tell him I went to meet him there."
"All right," Joyce said. "Have fun, and be careful!"
"Sure, Mom!" Buffy waved and blew her mother another kiss before jumping into the van and heading off for The Cellar.