Paloma Lopez-Fitzgerald walked along the shoveled pathway in Lighthouse
Park as thoughts of the previous night's dream and her conversation with
her older sister filled her head.
Falling in love, or even coming close to being in love wasn't something that Paloma was used to. It wasn't something she even thought was possible for her.
"But I'm not in love," Paloma sighed as she tried to tell herself for the thousandth time that the dream she had about Nicholas Crane was NOT what her sister had made it out to be.
Paloma watched as the children in the park played in the newly fallen snow, it was as if it were yesterday when she and her friends were throwing snowballs around, building snow forts and snowmen in the very same field. One memory invaded her thoughts more clearly than the rest.
******12 years earlier******
"Mija, don't go too far now." Pilar Lopez-Fitzgerald took a seat on a park bench and placed her sack of groceries down beside her as her six-year-old daughter ran through the snow.
"Pilar, I don't know how you talked me into coming out here with you."
"Ivy," Pilar turned to her friend, Mrs. Crane, and smiled, "you and your children never seem to leave the Crane home and come out and enjoy the town. I thought it would be a good idea."
"Yes, well," Ivy brushed the bench off with her gloved hand and sat beside her friend as her son chased after Pilar's youngest daughter, "Nicholas, don't lay in the snow, dear. I don't want your new coat to get dirty!"
"Mother!" The young boy placed his hands on his hips and stared at his mother who was watching from afar, without warning he was pushed in the snow by the small girl who he was chasing only moments earlier.
"Ha!" The girl stood over him with a smile, "Take that, Nicky Crane!"
"Paloma!" Nicholas Crane stood up from the snow with a scowl. His eyes narrowed as he looked down upon the younger girl, and in seconds he took his two hands and shoved the smaller girl into the snow bank behind her.
"Mija!"
"Nicholas!"
The two mothers shared a laugh as they watched their young children take turns at pushing each other into the snow. Within minutes, the two children had turned the shoving match into a snowball fight, and an hour later, soaked with snow and with smiles on their faces, they retreated toward their mothers.
"Let's get you two back into the mansion." Ivy giggled at the sight of her son, his blonde hair was wet and matted onto the top of his head, and his cheeks were the rosiest red she'd ever seen.
"Yes," Pilar agreed as she brushed the snow from her daughter's coat, "And I'll make you two big mugs of hot chocolate to defrost yourselves!"
"Yay!"
"Thanks mama!"
The mothers and their children made their way out of the park and toward Ivy and Nicholas' waiting limousine with huge smiles plastered on their faces.
************************************************************************
Fox had been circling the path around Lighthouse Park for nearly an hour. The thoughts of his dream had invaded his mind, and Fox knew they were not going to let up any time soon. Upon approaching the open field, he knelt to the ground and gathered up a handful of snow. He walked further down the path as morning joggers, clad in nothing but spandex and a sweatshirt, passed him, no doubt freezing their tails off. Fox shook his head at the sight, and continued on.
As he neared the clearing, he saw the petite figure of a dark-haired girl standing in the middle of the snow-covered field. Fox stopped when he recognized whom this figure had belonged too.
It was too soon to see her now. He hadn't even allowed himself the appropriate amount of time to digest all that had occurred in his dream last night, that he wasn't prepared for an encounter with her so soon after. He would surely act like a complete idiot if she noticed him there.
Fox wasn't sure, but he could feel his heart pounding ferociously in his chest, the same way it had in his dream. It wasn't a beat of fear or of anxiety, though. It was something different. Something he had never experienced before. In his short twenty-one years of life, Nicholas Foxworth Crane, had never been able to feel his heart beating so steadily and at the same time so randomly in his chest.
He hesitated and thought about whether or not he should approach her, she seemed like she was in a completely different world, as if she wasn't aware of all that surrounded her. Fox smiled to himself when he realized she was daydreaming. Here she was, on the coldest day of winter, in the middle of a snow-packed field, children zooming past her with snowballs in their hands, and she seemed like she wasn't affected by any of it. It must be a very interesting dream she was having.
Standing there, watching her, made Fox feel even more uncomfortable. Like a stalker, which he was indeed not. So, he turned around to walk in the opposite direction, back to where he had come from, when he felt the sudden urge to speak to her. He had never been so eager, and so anxious, to speak to anyone in his entire life. After all, he had a very vivid and very confusing dream about the same girl the night before. How would he act? What would he say? Would she notice?
"Come on Fox," he scolded himself for allowing his emotions to take a hold of his actions, "there has never been a woman that I could not charm."
His attempt at reassurance was feeble and rather stupid. SHE was different. He'd tried to turn up the charm, tired to smooth talk his way into her life, tried to be suave and debonair like he was taught to, but she wouldn't budge. If it were any other woman, Fox would call it a day and pack up shop, but she was NOT just any woman. She was the woman that invaded his mind the night before. She was the woman who could look him in the eye and turn him down. She was the woman, that in two days, made his blood boil with frustration, and his heart pound in confusion. Fox wasn't quite sure what she would be classified as, but he knew that if he didn't listen to his feelings, he may be throwing away a real chance at something.
Love?
Perhaps.
Perhaps not.
But, Nicholas Foxworth Crane, is not someone who gets flustered over any woman.
Just this one.
Fox turned to face her; she was still facing away from him, in the same manner as before. He took a deep breath of the cold air, straightened his coat, and took the first step toward approaching her. He stopped when he was just an arms length away, and cleared his throat to signal his presence. She shook her head, snapping out of her daydream, at the sound of his voice, and turned around to see who had stolen her away from her thoughts.
"Nicky." Her eyes widened, and her voice cracked at the mention of his name.
"Lo."
************************************************************************
"What," Paloma suddenly felt an uneasy feeling in her stomach, "what are you doing here?"
"A man can't just take a stroll anymore without having to be questioned?" Fox's eyes lit up at the sound of the younger woman's voice.
"You?" Paloma's face broke out into a beautiful smile, "Nicholas Crane, stroll?"
"Why, yes, Little Lo," Fox grinned at the smiling woman, "For your information, I am an avid stroller."
"Why don't I believe you?"
"Believe what you will," Fox shrugged, "I love to take walks around this here town of ours."
"Right," Paloma walked past him, toward the park bench, she heard his footsteps follow behind, "my guess is that you woke up this morning to find your father sipping brandy in his robe, Rebecca prancing around in some way- too-short nightie, and you couldn't stand it anymore so you walked out the door."
"Hmm," Fox took a seat beside her, "were you spying on me, Lo?"
"No," She shook her head, "its just, I remember that every Saturday, my mother and I would pick you and your sisters up from the mansion to go out and play because your parents were always in some fight. Your father was always drunk with his latest fling at his arm, and your mother would always have the most sour face."
"Such is my life."
"I'm sorry for bringing up the past."
"Hey," Fox nudged her shoulder, "it's not a bother, really, Lo. I've come to the realization that my parents, my family, will never be the picture of perfection."
"It's just," Paloma looked up into his eyes, "I never understood why my sister would get stars in her eyes every time anyone would mention the Cranes. She built this amazing picture of you all in her mind."
"If only she were there to see that we were FAR from perfect."
"I think she realizes that now," Paloma broke their gaze and stared off as her mind filled with worry for her sister's situation, "I don't know why she stays there."
"Listen, Lo," Fox spoke trying to cheer his friend, "your sister is a strong woman. She knows how to hold her own, even in my family's house."
"I suppose your right."
"I am." Fox closed the topic, "hey, so I explained what I'm doing here, what's your story?"
Paloma lowered her head and muttered something under her breath.
'I had this vivid dream about you and me last night, and I came out here to rehash my feelings for you,' Paloma thought in her mind.
"What was that?"
"Um," Paloma sat upright, "nothing. I was just strolling too."
"Really?" Fox's eyebrows shot up as he inched closer to Paloma on the bench, "when I walked up to you, it seemed like you were a world away."
"I was," She nodded, "I don't know, Nicky. I mean, I came out here to get some air, and well, I found myself standing in the middle of the field thinking about how we used to play out here in the winter."
"I remember," Fox bent forward and rested himself on his elbows, "every weekend, you and your mother would come and rescue me and my siblings from the Crane household."
"Yeah, she would take us all down here, and we'd spend hours out here in the park just chasing each other through the woods."
"If I remember correctly," Fox cleared his throat, "I did most of the chasing."
"Not much has changed, I see."
"Good one, Lo." Fox smiled, "but you never protested to me chasing you when we were kids, what about now?"
Paloma felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. She turned her head to face in the opposite direction, trying to hide the flush from his comments. He gave her no time to answer though, for he chimed in with a grin.
"You know, Lo," Fox sighed, "most of my fondest childhood memories include you in them."
"What?"
"Yeah," Fox sat up and placed an arm behind her back, "it's a little strange though, but most of my memories, from before boarding school, was hanging out with you."
"I suppose I understand," Paloma nodded, "I was over there quite a bit after my father and Antonio had left. My sister and brothers were so occupied with their after school activities, Theresa with choir and ballet classes, Miguel with soccer and baseball practice, and Luis with his jobs, I was pretty much stuck tagging along with my mama when she went to work."
"So you didn't enjoy it?"
"It's not that, Nicky," Paloma turned to face him, "it's just, I'd always wanted to do something after school, but my mama always said I was too young."
"What sort of things did you want to do?"
"I'd always wanted to be a part of the Harmony Children's Theatre, but Luis had always said that I would never earn a living as an actress." Paloma sighed, "It's the performer in me I guess."
"I remember," Fox sat back and laughed, "when we were younger, you used to grab bed sheets from the hall closet and set them up as curtains in the playroom. You'd grab all my action figures and my sister's dolls and set them up like your audience. I used to watch you as you performed your soliloquies and one-woman shows to my Star Wars action figures."
"Must you remind me?" Paloma squeezed her eyes shut and laughed at herself as Fox described his memories.
"You were actually very entertaining." Fox smiled, "There was this one time, if I remember correctly, you were doing that balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet, and you were so upset with me because I didn't want to play Romeo."
"Oh, dear." Paloma turned her head, "I remember that all too well."
"Yeah, I wanted nothing to do with your little scene, but you told me that no one else could play the part of Romeo because I was the only boy." Fox shook his head, "but I wouldn't budge. So you walked of huffing and puffing, right up to my mother."
"Nicky, must we bring this up?"
"Yes Lo, we must." Fox hid his laughter, it was so amusing to watch Paloma writhe, "So, to make this story short, you told on me, to my mother, and she said that if you were so adamant on doing the Romeo and Juliet scene, that you should step up and play the part of Romeo, and let my one of my sister's play Juliet."
"Okay, Nicky," Paloma rolled her eyes, "I remember."
"Oh, but I'm not finished," Fox put up his hand, "SO, you were so upset with my mother's suggestion that you stomped your way back to the playroom and had the most hilarious hissy fit. You went around saying that Shakespeare would rollover in his grave if a woman was playing Romeo. That if YOU played Romeo the world would crumble to pieces and end!!"
"Yes, okay."
"Oh my word, Lo." Fox couldn't keep it in any longer, so he let out a burst of laughter as Paloma watched, unamused, "Your mother took you home that instant, kicking and screaming, because you were so upset that anyone could ever suggest such a thing. You were spouting off about how it would be a disgrace, and I remember quite vividly that you didn't speak to me for three weeks straight until I would apologize to you for telling on you to my mother."
"You never did, you know." Paloma turned to face Fox who was giggling uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry, Lo." Fox tried to calm himself when he saw the perturbed look on his friend's face, "it's just, you were such the little drama queen when we were younger."
"Oh, please, NICKY!!" Paloma threw her hands up in the air and turned to face the taller man, "do NOT get me started on drama! Would you like me to bring up that time that you had the temper tantrum of the century when you thought that it was ME who had torn up your Mr. Teddy Bear?"
"Lo, please." Fox's laughter subsided and his cheeks became warmer as the younger woman's eyes gleamed, "let's not go there."
"Oh, let's." Paloma crossed her arms over her chest and smiled as she watched Fox's shoulders shrink and his head bury itself in his hands. "As I remember, you walked in with TEARS on your ten-year-old face because you had found your beloved Mr. Teddy Bear missing an eye and his arm was falling off at the seam."
"Lo," Fox whined, but it didn't cause Paloma to faulter.
"You stomped up to me, who was minding her OWN business in the corner of the playroom, and you took my hair in your hand and pulled with all the strength you had!"
Fox shook his head.
"Then after I cried out in PAIN, my mother came running into the playroom and walked in on me trying to pull my hair out of your big chubby little boy hands." Paloma bent over in laughter and sat up as soon as she caught her breath, "I remember you whining to my mother, saying that I tore up your Mr. Teddy Bear, and you fell to the floor and banged your fists against it in a fit of anger."
"Alright, Lo" Fox rolled his eyes at the laughing woman, "I get your point."
"My point NICKY," Paloma stopped laughing and turned to face the brown-eyed man, "is that YOU cannot be topped on the 'drama-queen' list."
"Yeah, well I've grown out of that phase."
"Have you?"
"I have," Fox nodded, "and I'd like to put that in the past, where it belongs."
"Oh, Nicky," Paloma placed her hand on his shoulder, "I didn't mean to get you upset, I was just trying to make a point."
"Your point was made." He huffed.
"Come on, Nicholas Crane," Paloma nudged him to try and pry out a smile, "you can dish it out, but you can't take it? I really meant no harm, I only tease the people I like in this world, so consider it a privilege."
The light in Fox's eyes grew at the younger woman's comment. He turned to face her smiling eyes.
"You like me?" Fox questioned, "so that whole, 'I-hate-the-rich-brat' thing was just an act?"
"No," Paloma shook her head, "I do HATE the rich brat Nicky, but I'm starting to grow fond of the 'little-boy-trapped-in-a-rich-brat's-body' Nicky. You gotta ease up a little, learn how to have fun, let loose."
"You sound like your sister," Fox sighed, "she's always going on and on, talking about some love thing. It's like her head is up in the clouds."
"No, Theresa and I may have the same 'free-spirit', but we certainly do not share the same outlook on love."
"What do YOU have against love?" Fox's ears perked up.
"I don't have anything against love, Nicky," Paloma turned away, "it's just I take a more practical approach to love. My sister believes in fate, true love, bliss, butterflies in your stomach, and all that mumbo jumbo."
"And you don't?"
"Not exactly," Paloma shrugged, "it's just, I do believe in love, but I think it's got to come slowly, gradually. You start off as friends, turn into the best of friends, and then allow love to take it's course. I don't believe in love at first sight."
"No?"
"Lust at first sight, is what I call it." Paloma pulled her coat around her body as a cool wind brushed past her, "But, love, REAL love takes time, effort, and a lot of patience."
"Lo?" Fox touched her arm with his inquiry, "have you ever been in love?"
"No." Paloma whispered, "I thought I was, but it wasn't anything close to love. That experience helped me realize that love is not feeling, it's a knowing."
"Wow." Fox threw his head back and closed his eyes, "how do you do it, Lo?"
"Do what?"
"Have so much passion? So much life?" Fox shook his head in disbelief, "you must get awfully tired."
"Living passionately has kept me alive all these years," Paloma's face turned serious, "without it, I don't think I would have survived so many years apart from the people I loved."
"There's another thing we have in common."
"What?"
"Being shipped off to some far away place by our families."
"You mean, my going to Spain and your going away to boarding school?"
"Yeah," Fox ran a hand through his hair, "only, the people back at home actually missed and loved you."
"Sometimes I wonder, though."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Paloma shifted in her seat and her eyes were clear that her mind was somewhere else. Fox turned towards her and allowed his expression to change into one of confusion.
"It's just," Paloma wrung her hands in her lap, "I never understood, never could really grasp, the concept of my mother giving me away."
"She had to, Lo."
"I know," Paloma nodded, "I know all this. And part of me DOES understand. Part of me knows that my family couldn't have made it, financially, if I were around. I know my mother loves me, and wants the best for me. But the other part of me can't put to rest the feeling of uneasiness that I have when I'm with them."
"Tell me, Lo." Fox's eyes fixated themselves on the beautiful girl.
"I don't know, Nicky," she shook her head, "I can't help but feel so jealous when I see the relationship that my mother has toward Miguel, Theresa, and Luis. They've been through so much together. They've had to suffer together, love together, hurt together, live together, experience joy together."
"And, you didn't."
"It's like I don't know who they are," Paloma sighed, "I want to know, I do. But, there's a part of me that just doesn't know where I fit into the mold. Where do I belong in the family?"
Fox could see that this subject troubled his friend. But, he knew that her family still loved her with all their heart, and he attempted to show her.
"Lo," He took her hand in his own, "look at me."
"Yeah?" Paloma allowed Fox to take her hand, and she looked up into his eyes.
"Listen, Lo." He started, "Regardless of what you feel, I know for a FACT that your mother, your sister, and your brothers LOVE you unconditionally. I'm sure it's hard for you since you feel like you've missed so much, but if I know anything about your family, I know that there is nothing that could come between the bond you all have with each other."
"Nicky," Paloma smiled, "since when did you grow up and start giving good advice?"
"I've had to grow up a lot since my mother shipped me off to my first boarding school when I was thirteen." Fox broke their gaze and turned his head.
"My turn to listen, Nicky," Paloma whispered, "tell me."
"There's nothing much to tell, Lo." Fox's eyes drifted toward the children playing in the snow, "my parent's really paid no mind to me other than in front of their friends, for show of course, and as soon as I hit the age of thirteen, my bags were packed and I was shipped off some boarding school in upstate New York. From there, I got kicked out of seven schools on the east coast, three on the west coast, and two schools in the UK. After I barely graduated from high school, it was off to Harvard, which I got in no doubt by my grandfather pulling strings, and after a couple years in good ol' bean-town I decided to head home and figure out what to do next."
Fox ended with a sigh continued to watch the children when Paloma spoke up.
"I'm sorry." She tried to smile, "I know how much you wished that you had a real family."
"Actually, Lo." Fox turned, "I don't mind it much. When I was a kid, I resented not having a real family, but now, I don't really care much. My family has shaped me to be the man I am today, and I have no regrets."
"You can't mean that, Nicky."
"Oh, but I do." Fox nodded, "There's nothing that you can do or say or anything that ANYONE can do or say to change the way my family treated me, treats me."
"Yeah, but you can't honestly say that you don't care." Paloma's forehead creased with worry, "Nicky, I know you. And you are not the stuck-up snob that people make you out to be. You play that part, sure, but that is NOT who you are."
"How you can say that, Lo?" Fox's tone changed, "You have no idea what I went through."
"I don't?" Paloma shook her head, "I grew up thousands of miles away from my family. I had to learn how to depend on myself and my abilities. There was never a mother who was there to comfort me, a sister to tell all my secrets to, brothers to protect me from harm, a father to raise me. Even though I was brought up around family members, I was never really a part of their family. I had to make my own life, had to learn things the hard way."
"But at least you grew up with people that cared."
"All my aunt and uncle knew about raising a child was to shower me with expensive things." Paloma thought back to her life in Spain, "My uncle's family can be called the 'Cranes' of Spain. They thought that buying me all the jewels and treasures in the world could buy my happiness."
"You can't be serious."
"I am." Paloma nodded, "The Garcia's, my uncle's family, are all about the mansions, the parties, the diamonds, the cars, the beautiful gowns, but there's no real love there. None at all."
"I didn't know."
"No," Paloma sighed, "no one really knew. My mother thought that sending me to live with my aunt and uncle would be good for me. I wouldn't have to worry about money, food, shelter, clothing. I would be taken care of. I would eat, have a place to sleep, have an education."
"Lo,"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to my aunt and uncle for what they did for me. What they sacrificed. But they didn't know how to love a child, for they never had one of their own." Paloma looked off into the trees, "But they DID allow me into their home, placed me in the finest schools, showed me all the wonders of the world, and made sure I was well taken care of when it came to finances."
"But," Fox knew there was more.
"But," Paloma bit her bottom lip to stop her voice from shaking, "I would have given all of it up just to be back home in Harmony again, to be with my parents, my brothers, Theresa. I gained the world, Nicky, but I lost myself."
"I didn't know any of this."
"So," Paloma continued, "you see, Nicky. I know more about your life than you know. Your life was my life."
"Listen to us, Lo." Nicky let a faint laugh escape his lips, "aren't we just the picture of perfection? Poor little rich kids?"
"Tell me about it."
Paloma closed her tired eyes and rested her head back against the cool metal of the bench. She breathed hard as she tried to sweep away the emotion that was aching to burst out of her body. She had never talked so openly, so candidly, about her feelings toward her family, toward herself. But, she felt so comfortable as she shared her heart with Nicholas Crane. Her mind was telling her that opening her life to this man was ridiculous, but she couldn't push aside the emotion that her heart was screaming to her. This man, a man whom she had thought she despised, had become her confidant, her friend. This man, who days earlier, she could barely stand to be with in the same room, had offered her his ear and his comfort. Her mind and her heart were telling her completely opposite things. But one thing was for sure. In all her years, Paloma Lopez-Fitzgerald had never heard her heart speak so clearly.
So, very clearly.
Fox Crane exhaled in a deep sigh and watched as his breath clouded the air. He rubbed his eyes with the tips of his fingers and looked out toward the snow-covered field before him. As he watched the children throw snowballs, his thoughts drifted back to the conversation he had just had with the woman seated beside him. In his entire life, Fox had never allowed anyone into his inner most thoughts. Everyone knew how much he had despised his family, but no one ever bothered to ask him why, until today. He hated speaking so intimately with anyone, but with her it all seemed so different. Almost natural. It was as if Fox had been speaking to his closest friend. It seemed so right to allow Paloma into his mind, his heart, and it was the first time in his entire life that he allowed the wall between Fox Crane and Nicky Crane to crumble. It took so much out of him to share his feelings the way he just had with her, but the effort was well worth it to be able to spend a moment in her presence. A surge of emotion and knowledge hit Fox hard that morning, and he didn't know what to make of the thoughts that were filling his mind in the silence that they shared. All he knew was that there was no other place in the world that he wanted to be more than where he was at that very moment.
Next to her.
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*A/N* TA-DAA!! It's attack of the long chapters! LOL! I was going through this and trying to find a place to break it up, but again, I could not. So, here's another mini-'novel' for you to enjoy! Please r/r! Feedback is always a great encouragement! Thanks! =)
Falling in love, or even coming close to being in love wasn't something that Paloma was used to. It wasn't something she even thought was possible for her.
"But I'm not in love," Paloma sighed as she tried to tell herself for the thousandth time that the dream she had about Nicholas Crane was NOT what her sister had made it out to be.
Paloma watched as the children in the park played in the newly fallen snow, it was as if it were yesterday when she and her friends were throwing snowballs around, building snow forts and snowmen in the very same field. One memory invaded her thoughts more clearly than the rest.
******12 years earlier******
"Mija, don't go too far now." Pilar Lopez-Fitzgerald took a seat on a park bench and placed her sack of groceries down beside her as her six-year-old daughter ran through the snow.
"Pilar, I don't know how you talked me into coming out here with you."
"Ivy," Pilar turned to her friend, Mrs. Crane, and smiled, "you and your children never seem to leave the Crane home and come out and enjoy the town. I thought it would be a good idea."
"Yes, well," Ivy brushed the bench off with her gloved hand and sat beside her friend as her son chased after Pilar's youngest daughter, "Nicholas, don't lay in the snow, dear. I don't want your new coat to get dirty!"
"Mother!" The young boy placed his hands on his hips and stared at his mother who was watching from afar, without warning he was pushed in the snow by the small girl who he was chasing only moments earlier.
"Ha!" The girl stood over him with a smile, "Take that, Nicky Crane!"
"Paloma!" Nicholas Crane stood up from the snow with a scowl. His eyes narrowed as he looked down upon the younger girl, and in seconds he took his two hands and shoved the smaller girl into the snow bank behind her.
"Mija!"
"Nicholas!"
The two mothers shared a laugh as they watched their young children take turns at pushing each other into the snow. Within minutes, the two children had turned the shoving match into a snowball fight, and an hour later, soaked with snow and with smiles on their faces, they retreated toward their mothers.
"Let's get you two back into the mansion." Ivy giggled at the sight of her son, his blonde hair was wet and matted onto the top of his head, and his cheeks were the rosiest red she'd ever seen.
"Yes," Pilar agreed as she brushed the snow from her daughter's coat, "And I'll make you two big mugs of hot chocolate to defrost yourselves!"
"Yay!"
"Thanks mama!"
The mothers and their children made their way out of the park and toward Ivy and Nicholas' waiting limousine with huge smiles plastered on their faces.
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Fox had been circling the path around Lighthouse Park for nearly an hour. The thoughts of his dream had invaded his mind, and Fox knew they were not going to let up any time soon. Upon approaching the open field, he knelt to the ground and gathered up a handful of snow. He walked further down the path as morning joggers, clad in nothing but spandex and a sweatshirt, passed him, no doubt freezing their tails off. Fox shook his head at the sight, and continued on.
As he neared the clearing, he saw the petite figure of a dark-haired girl standing in the middle of the snow-covered field. Fox stopped when he recognized whom this figure had belonged too.
It was too soon to see her now. He hadn't even allowed himself the appropriate amount of time to digest all that had occurred in his dream last night, that he wasn't prepared for an encounter with her so soon after. He would surely act like a complete idiot if she noticed him there.
Fox wasn't sure, but he could feel his heart pounding ferociously in his chest, the same way it had in his dream. It wasn't a beat of fear or of anxiety, though. It was something different. Something he had never experienced before. In his short twenty-one years of life, Nicholas Foxworth Crane, had never been able to feel his heart beating so steadily and at the same time so randomly in his chest.
He hesitated and thought about whether or not he should approach her, she seemed like she was in a completely different world, as if she wasn't aware of all that surrounded her. Fox smiled to himself when he realized she was daydreaming. Here she was, on the coldest day of winter, in the middle of a snow-packed field, children zooming past her with snowballs in their hands, and she seemed like she wasn't affected by any of it. It must be a very interesting dream she was having.
Standing there, watching her, made Fox feel even more uncomfortable. Like a stalker, which he was indeed not. So, he turned around to walk in the opposite direction, back to where he had come from, when he felt the sudden urge to speak to her. He had never been so eager, and so anxious, to speak to anyone in his entire life. After all, he had a very vivid and very confusing dream about the same girl the night before. How would he act? What would he say? Would she notice?
"Come on Fox," he scolded himself for allowing his emotions to take a hold of his actions, "there has never been a woman that I could not charm."
His attempt at reassurance was feeble and rather stupid. SHE was different. He'd tried to turn up the charm, tired to smooth talk his way into her life, tried to be suave and debonair like he was taught to, but she wouldn't budge. If it were any other woman, Fox would call it a day and pack up shop, but she was NOT just any woman. She was the woman that invaded his mind the night before. She was the woman who could look him in the eye and turn him down. She was the woman, that in two days, made his blood boil with frustration, and his heart pound in confusion. Fox wasn't quite sure what she would be classified as, but he knew that if he didn't listen to his feelings, he may be throwing away a real chance at something.
Love?
Perhaps.
Perhaps not.
But, Nicholas Foxworth Crane, is not someone who gets flustered over any woman.
Just this one.
Fox turned to face her; she was still facing away from him, in the same manner as before. He took a deep breath of the cold air, straightened his coat, and took the first step toward approaching her. He stopped when he was just an arms length away, and cleared his throat to signal his presence. She shook her head, snapping out of her daydream, at the sound of his voice, and turned around to see who had stolen her away from her thoughts.
"Nicky." Her eyes widened, and her voice cracked at the mention of his name.
"Lo."
************************************************************************
"What," Paloma suddenly felt an uneasy feeling in her stomach, "what are you doing here?"
"A man can't just take a stroll anymore without having to be questioned?" Fox's eyes lit up at the sound of the younger woman's voice.
"You?" Paloma's face broke out into a beautiful smile, "Nicholas Crane, stroll?"
"Why, yes, Little Lo," Fox grinned at the smiling woman, "For your information, I am an avid stroller."
"Why don't I believe you?"
"Believe what you will," Fox shrugged, "I love to take walks around this here town of ours."
"Right," Paloma walked past him, toward the park bench, she heard his footsteps follow behind, "my guess is that you woke up this morning to find your father sipping brandy in his robe, Rebecca prancing around in some way- too-short nightie, and you couldn't stand it anymore so you walked out the door."
"Hmm," Fox took a seat beside her, "were you spying on me, Lo?"
"No," She shook her head, "its just, I remember that every Saturday, my mother and I would pick you and your sisters up from the mansion to go out and play because your parents were always in some fight. Your father was always drunk with his latest fling at his arm, and your mother would always have the most sour face."
"Such is my life."
"I'm sorry for bringing up the past."
"Hey," Fox nudged her shoulder, "it's not a bother, really, Lo. I've come to the realization that my parents, my family, will never be the picture of perfection."
"It's just," Paloma looked up into his eyes, "I never understood why my sister would get stars in her eyes every time anyone would mention the Cranes. She built this amazing picture of you all in her mind."
"If only she were there to see that we were FAR from perfect."
"I think she realizes that now," Paloma broke their gaze and stared off as her mind filled with worry for her sister's situation, "I don't know why she stays there."
"Listen, Lo," Fox spoke trying to cheer his friend, "your sister is a strong woman. She knows how to hold her own, even in my family's house."
"I suppose your right."
"I am." Fox closed the topic, "hey, so I explained what I'm doing here, what's your story?"
Paloma lowered her head and muttered something under her breath.
'I had this vivid dream about you and me last night, and I came out here to rehash my feelings for you,' Paloma thought in her mind.
"What was that?"
"Um," Paloma sat upright, "nothing. I was just strolling too."
"Really?" Fox's eyebrows shot up as he inched closer to Paloma on the bench, "when I walked up to you, it seemed like you were a world away."
"I was," She nodded, "I don't know, Nicky. I mean, I came out here to get some air, and well, I found myself standing in the middle of the field thinking about how we used to play out here in the winter."
"I remember," Fox bent forward and rested himself on his elbows, "every weekend, you and your mother would come and rescue me and my siblings from the Crane household."
"Yeah, she would take us all down here, and we'd spend hours out here in the park just chasing each other through the woods."
"If I remember correctly," Fox cleared his throat, "I did most of the chasing."
"Not much has changed, I see."
"Good one, Lo." Fox smiled, "but you never protested to me chasing you when we were kids, what about now?"
Paloma felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. She turned her head to face in the opposite direction, trying to hide the flush from his comments. He gave her no time to answer though, for he chimed in with a grin.
"You know, Lo," Fox sighed, "most of my fondest childhood memories include you in them."
"What?"
"Yeah," Fox sat up and placed an arm behind her back, "it's a little strange though, but most of my memories, from before boarding school, was hanging out with you."
"I suppose I understand," Paloma nodded, "I was over there quite a bit after my father and Antonio had left. My sister and brothers were so occupied with their after school activities, Theresa with choir and ballet classes, Miguel with soccer and baseball practice, and Luis with his jobs, I was pretty much stuck tagging along with my mama when she went to work."
"So you didn't enjoy it?"
"It's not that, Nicky," Paloma turned to face him, "it's just, I'd always wanted to do something after school, but my mama always said I was too young."
"What sort of things did you want to do?"
"I'd always wanted to be a part of the Harmony Children's Theatre, but Luis had always said that I would never earn a living as an actress." Paloma sighed, "It's the performer in me I guess."
"I remember," Fox sat back and laughed, "when we were younger, you used to grab bed sheets from the hall closet and set them up as curtains in the playroom. You'd grab all my action figures and my sister's dolls and set them up like your audience. I used to watch you as you performed your soliloquies and one-woman shows to my Star Wars action figures."
"Must you remind me?" Paloma squeezed her eyes shut and laughed at herself as Fox described his memories.
"You were actually very entertaining." Fox smiled, "There was this one time, if I remember correctly, you were doing that balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet, and you were so upset with me because I didn't want to play Romeo."
"Oh, dear." Paloma turned her head, "I remember that all too well."
"Yeah, I wanted nothing to do with your little scene, but you told me that no one else could play the part of Romeo because I was the only boy." Fox shook his head, "but I wouldn't budge. So you walked of huffing and puffing, right up to my mother."
"Nicky, must we bring this up?"
"Yes Lo, we must." Fox hid his laughter, it was so amusing to watch Paloma writhe, "So, to make this story short, you told on me, to my mother, and she said that if you were so adamant on doing the Romeo and Juliet scene, that you should step up and play the part of Romeo, and let my one of my sister's play Juliet."
"Okay, Nicky," Paloma rolled her eyes, "I remember."
"Oh, but I'm not finished," Fox put up his hand, "SO, you were so upset with my mother's suggestion that you stomped your way back to the playroom and had the most hilarious hissy fit. You went around saying that Shakespeare would rollover in his grave if a woman was playing Romeo. That if YOU played Romeo the world would crumble to pieces and end!!"
"Yes, okay."
"Oh my word, Lo." Fox couldn't keep it in any longer, so he let out a burst of laughter as Paloma watched, unamused, "Your mother took you home that instant, kicking and screaming, because you were so upset that anyone could ever suggest such a thing. You were spouting off about how it would be a disgrace, and I remember quite vividly that you didn't speak to me for three weeks straight until I would apologize to you for telling on you to my mother."
"You never did, you know." Paloma turned to face Fox who was giggling uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry, Lo." Fox tried to calm himself when he saw the perturbed look on his friend's face, "it's just, you were such the little drama queen when we were younger."
"Oh, please, NICKY!!" Paloma threw her hands up in the air and turned to face the taller man, "do NOT get me started on drama! Would you like me to bring up that time that you had the temper tantrum of the century when you thought that it was ME who had torn up your Mr. Teddy Bear?"
"Lo, please." Fox's laughter subsided and his cheeks became warmer as the younger woman's eyes gleamed, "let's not go there."
"Oh, let's." Paloma crossed her arms over her chest and smiled as she watched Fox's shoulders shrink and his head bury itself in his hands. "As I remember, you walked in with TEARS on your ten-year-old face because you had found your beloved Mr. Teddy Bear missing an eye and his arm was falling off at the seam."
"Lo," Fox whined, but it didn't cause Paloma to faulter.
"You stomped up to me, who was minding her OWN business in the corner of the playroom, and you took my hair in your hand and pulled with all the strength you had!"
Fox shook his head.
"Then after I cried out in PAIN, my mother came running into the playroom and walked in on me trying to pull my hair out of your big chubby little boy hands." Paloma bent over in laughter and sat up as soon as she caught her breath, "I remember you whining to my mother, saying that I tore up your Mr. Teddy Bear, and you fell to the floor and banged your fists against it in a fit of anger."
"Alright, Lo" Fox rolled his eyes at the laughing woman, "I get your point."
"My point NICKY," Paloma stopped laughing and turned to face the brown-eyed man, "is that YOU cannot be topped on the 'drama-queen' list."
"Yeah, well I've grown out of that phase."
"Have you?"
"I have," Fox nodded, "and I'd like to put that in the past, where it belongs."
"Oh, Nicky," Paloma placed her hand on his shoulder, "I didn't mean to get you upset, I was just trying to make a point."
"Your point was made." He huffed.
"Come on, Nicholas Crane," Paloma nudged him to try and pry out a smile, "you can dish it out, but you can't take it? I really meant no harm, I only tease the people I like in this world, so consider it a privilege."
The light in Fox's eyes grew at the younger woman's comment. He turned to face her smiling eyes.
"You like me?" Fox questioned, "so that whole, 'I-hate-the-rich-brat' thing was just an act?"
"No," Paloma shook her head, "I do HATE the rich brat Nicky, but I'm starting to grow fond of the 'little-boy-trapped-in-a-rich-brat's-body' Nicky. You gotta ease up a little, learn how to have fun, let loose."
"You sound like your sister," Fox sighed, "she's always going on and on, talking about some love thing. It's like her head is up in the clouds."
"No, Theresa and I may have the same 'free-spirit', but we certainly do not share the same outlook on love."
"What do YOU have against love?" Fox's ears perked up.
"I don't have anything against love, Nicky," Paloma turned away, "it's just I take a more practical approach to love. My sister believes in fate, true love, bliss, butterflies in your stomach, and all that mumbo jumbo."
"And you don't?"
"Not exactly," Paloma shrugged, "it's just, I do believe in love, but I think it's got to come slowly, gradually. You start off as friends, turn into the best of friends, and then allow love to take it's course. I don't believe in love at first sight."
"No?"
"Lust at first sight, is what I call it." Paloma pulled her coat around her body as a cool wind brushed past her, "But, love, REAL love takes time, effort, and a lot of patience."
"Lo?" Fox touched her arm with his inquiry, "have you ever been in love?"
"No." Paloma whispered, "I thought I was, but it wasn't anything close to love. That experience helped me realize that love is not feeling, it's a knowing."
"Wow." Fox threw his head back and closed his eyes, "how do you do it, Lo?"
"Do what?"
"Have so much passion? So much life?" Fox shook his head in disbelief, "you must get awfully tired."
"Living passionately has kept me alive all these years," Paloma's face turned serious, "without it, I don't think I would have survived so many years apart from the people I loved."
"There's another thing we have in common."
"What?"
"Being shipped off to some far away place by our families."
"You mean, my going to Spain and your going away to boarding school?"
"Yeah," Fox ran a hand through his hair, "only, the people back at home actually missed and loved you."
"Sometimes I wonder, though."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Paloma shifted in her seat and her eyes were clear that her mind was somewhere else. Fox turned towards her and allowed his expression to change into one of confusion.
"It's just," Paloma wrung her hands in her lap, "I never understood, never could really grasp, the concept of my mother giving me away."
"She had to, Lo."
"I know," Paloma nodded, "I know all this. And part of me DOES understand. Part of me knows that my family couldn't have made it, financially, if I were around. I know my mother loves me, and wants the best for me. But the other part of me can't put to rest the feeling of uneasiness that I have when I'm with them."
"Tell me, Lo." Fox's eyes fixated themselves on the beautiful girl.
"I don't know, Nicky," she shook her head, "I can't help but feel so jealous when I see the relationship that my mother has toward Miguel, Theresa, and Luis. They've been through so much together. They've had to suffer together, love together, hurt together, live together, experience joy together."
"And, you didn't."
"It's like I don't know who they are," Paloma sighed, "I want to know, I do. But, there's a part of me that just doesn't know where I fit into the mold. Where do I belong in the family?"
Fox could see that this subject troubled his friend. But, he knew that her family still loved her with all their heart, and he attempted to show her.
"Lo," He took her hand in his own, "look at me."
"Yeah?" Paloma allowed Fox to take her hand, and she looked up into his eyes.
"Listen, Lo." He started, "Regardless of what you feel, I know for a FACT that your mother, your sister, and your brothers LOVE you unconditionally. I'm sure it's hard for you since you feel like you've missed so much, but if I know anything about your family, I know that there is nothing that could come between the bond you all have with each other."
"Nicky," Paloma smiled, "since when did you grow up and start giving good advice?"
"I've had to grow up a lot since my mother shipped me off to my first boarding school when I was thirteen." Fox broke their gaze and turned his head.
"My turn to listen, Nicky," Paloma whispered, "tell me."
"There's nothing much to tell, Lo." Fox's eyes drifted toward the children playing in the snow, "my parent's really paid no mind to me other than in front of their friends, for show of course, and as soon as I hit the age of thirteen, my bags were packed and I was shipped off some boarding school in upstate New York. From there, I got kicked out of seven schools on the east coast, three on the west coast, and two schools in the UK. After I barely graduated from high school, it was off to Harvard, which I got in no doubt by my grandfather pulling strings, and after a couple years in good ol' bean-town I decided to head home and figure out what to do next."
Fox ended with a sigh continued to watch the children when Paloma spoke up.
"I'm sorry." She tried to smile, "I know how much you wished that you had a real family."
"Actually, Lo." Fox turned, "I don't mind it much. When I was a kid, I resented not having a real family, but now, I don't really care much. My family has shaped me to be the man I am today, and I have no regrets."
"You can't mean that, Nicky."
"Oh, but I do." Fox nodded, "There's nothing that you can do or say or anything that ANYONE can do or say to change the way my family treated me, treats me."
"Yeah, but you can't honestly say that you don't care." Paloma's forehead creased with worry, "Nicky, I know you. And you are not the stuck-up snob that people make you out to be. You play that part, sure, but that is NOT who you are."
"How you can say that, Lo?" Fox's tone changed, "You have no idea what I went through."
"I don't?" Paloma shook her head, "I grew up thousands of miles away from my family. I had to learn how to depend on myself and my abilities. There was never a mother who was there to comfort me, a sister to tell all my secrets to, brothers to protect me from harm, a father to raise me. Even though I was brought up around family members, I was never really a part of their family. I had to make my own life, had to learn things the hard way."
"But at least you grew up with people that cared."
"All my aunt and uncle knew about raising a child was to shower me with expensive things." Paloma thought back to her life in Spain, "My uncle's family can be called the 'Cranes' of Spain. They thought that buying me all the jewels and treasures in the world could buy my happiness."
"You can't be serious."
"I am." Paloma nodded, "The Garcia's, my uncle's family, are all about the mansions, the parties, the diamonds, the cars, the beautiful gowns, but there's no real love there. None at all."
"I didn't know."
"No," Paloma sighed, "no one really knew. My mother thought that sending me to live with my aunt and uncle would be good for me. I wouldn't have to worry about money, food, shelter, clothing. I would be taken care of. I would eat, have a place to sleep, have an education."
"Lo,"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to my aunt and uncle for what they did for me. What they sacrificed. But they didn't know how to love a child, for they never had one of their own." Paloma looked off into the trees, "But they DID allow me into their home, placed me in the finest schools, showed me all the wonders of the world, and made sure I was well taken care of when it came to finances."
"But," Fox knew there was more.
"But," Paloma bit her bottom lip to stop her voice from shaking, "I would have given all of it up just to be back home in Harmony again, to be with my parents, my brothers, Theresa. I gained the world, Nicky, but I lost myself."
"I didn't know any of this."
"So," Paloma continued, "you see, Nicky. I know more about your life than you know. Your life was my life."
"Listen to us, Lo." Nicky let a faint laugh escape his lips, "aren't we just the picture of perfection? Poor little rich kids?"
"Tell me about it."
Paloma closed her tired eyes and rested her head back against the cool metal of the bench. She breathed hard as she tried to sweep away the emotion that was aching to burst out of her body. She had never talked so openly, so candidly, about her feelings toward her family, toward herself. But, she felt so comfortable as she shared her heart with Nicholas Crane. Her mind was telling her that opening her life to this man was ridiculous, but she couldn't push aside the emotion that her heart was screaming to her. This man, a man whom she had thought she despised, had become her confidant, her friend. This man, who days earlier, she could barely stand to be with in the same room, had offered her his ear and his comfort. Her mind and her heart were telling her completely opposite things. But one thing was for sure. In all her years, Paloma Lopez-Fitzgerald had never heard her heart speak so clearly.
So, very clearly.
Fox Crane exhaled in a deep sigh and watched as his breath clouded the air. He rubbed his eyes with the tips of his fingers and looked out toward the snow-covered field before him. As he watched the children throw snowballs, his thoughts drifted back to the conversation he had just had with the woman seated beside him. In his entire life, Fox had never allowed anyone into his inner most thoughts. Everyone knew how much he had despised his family, but no one ever bothered to ask him why, until today. He hated speaking so intimately with anyone, but with her it all seemed so different. Almost natural. It was as if Fox had been speaking to his closest friend. It seemed so right to allow Paloma into his mind, his heart, and it was the first time in his entire life that he allowed the wall between Fox Crane and Nicky Crane to crumble. It took so much out of him to share his feelings the way he just had with her, but the effort was well worth it to be able to spend a moment in her presence. A surge of emotion and knowledge hit Fox hard that morning, and he didn't know what to make of the thoughts that were filling his mind in the silence that they shared. All he knew was that there was no other place in the world that he wanted to be more than where he was at that very moment.
Next to her.
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*A/N* TA-DAA!! It's attack of the long chapters! LOL! I was going through this and trying to find a place to break it up, but again, I could not. So, here's another mini-'novel' for you to enjoy! Please r/r! Feedback is always a great encouragement! Thanks! =)