Sex
I know the title must be confusing you. Me, have sex. I know that's what I would think to if I were you. And that's why I will tell this very personal part of my life.
Weeks later Dark and I got together, once again. I was in bed, trying to scare away the nightmares that had been haunting my dreams for the past few days, and he just appeared. He surprised me, which he did that a lot. I apologized, before blushing. What an idiot I was. I couldn't even tell a serial killer from my boyfriend. Sad.very sad.
He didn't seem to mind, although nothing usually did with Dark. He was always laid-back. Even when he was a little kid. He wrapped his strong arms around me, and gave me a hug. Not like that wasn't usual but he just seemed, more intimate. He probably didn't mean it to be but it seemed they were more. I don't know.loving?
I asked him casually how life was going, and he told me he was fine. And I was glad. Just cause I was dying didn't mean the whole world was. He started to rock me, and it almost put me to sleep, but I didn't dare close my eyes. It would surely ruin the romantic mood. Was there even a romantic mood? How would I know? I mean I'd never really had one.
I leaned up and gave him a small kiss, hoping he wouldn't pull away. Hoping he didn't think I was a slut. Hoping he would kiss me back.
And then as if someone had turned on a warning switch, I felt a bad feeling.
"What's up with ya?" I asked. He had this zoned out look, like someone who was drunk. He told me nothing was wrong, and he was fine. I just rolled my eyes, and gave him a kiss on his neck. He leaned over and gave me a kiss asking me if " I knew he love me."
Let me say I had heard this, quite a few times. And you know what. I didn't think I deserved such a boyfriend. I don't even know how to explain how much I loved him, how much he meant to me.
He lay on top of me, kissing me gently and stared in the eye. He had such beautiful eyes.... And then a flashback. The situation the same except the guy was Roti and he had piercing evil gold eyes. I gasped, but didn't say anything to Dark, still not wanting to ruin the moment I cherished so much.
I continued to tell him I'd love him, forever and ever, until.
Saphire came in. She gave me a look that was pure distress, before dropping some papers on to my desk, and leaving quickly and quietly. Totally Busted. I couldn't even think about the thoughts rushing through her head.
And then I got the weird feeling Dark wasn't at all tuned into this world. I waved a hand in front of his face. "What is wrong with you?!" He explained to me that when he drank the blood of a person who has had drugs or alcohol, it half transferred to him. The thought of this made me nervous but I didn't say anything, and continued to play along with the game.. Naming people that I could go out with, making him laugh. He seemed to have a thing against Trunks, why I didn't know. And really I didn't care. As long as he was here with me, I was fine.
The next biggest shock. Being licked. What can I say? I mean the only time I'd ever been licked was with Juniper and June was a tiger. But by Dark.how.sexual.
And amazingly I wouldn't have minded having sex with him. At the time I just felt happy. I had almost forgotten the flashback of Roti. I just felt pure complete content, something I had rarely felt.
I continued to trail my kisses along his cheek and neck, running my fingers through his hair the whole time. And then I felt a fang against my neck. My first thought was to get up and leave, just because I didn't really want to get eaten, but I quickly decided that that was irrational and so I put one finger up to his lips, and told him there was no biting aloud.
Let me say, I was a little dazed at this point. Everything was too good. It was almost as if I was living in someone else's life.
"Do you want the blood?" I asked quietly, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice.
"Of course I do." he said with no hesitation. "But I wont take it. I already have had my share of blood for the week, and I rarely have to drink anymore, thanks to my friend."
Friends.
He hugged me again, sending chills down my back. His hands were running through my long curls, like a comb. I loved it. I loved this.
And slowly they moved down to the curve of my back, and that's when I saw the second flashback. Roti. I gave a small moan, but continued to kiss his neck, trying to forget him. Trying to enjoy myself. Trying to be normal.
He didn't seem to notice. Then again he was all liquored up.he probably didn't even realize what was happening. He started to French kiss me, which caught me by surprise, but afterwards I enjoyed this act just as much as everything else. His hands ran down to my hips, and held them gently. This was a change. Roti used to rip at them, like he did with the rest of my body.
And then I didn't want to do this. I didn't want the memories to come back. I didn't want nightmares, especially about Dark. I didn't want the pain, and I didn't want the guilt. And I didn't want Sex.
I asked him, if he wanted to do this, and he didn't seem to care. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was returning. He was drunk, he wasn't doing this for him or I, and he didn't know what he was doing. I pulled away and glared at him, before pointing at the door. "Get out. I'm not doing this when you're drunk or high, or whatever you are. Now out!" He looked at me with huge confused eyes. I turned away. "Get out." I said simply and he left, as quietly as he had come.
I sat there; mad at myself, for being so frigid. How many humans had been raped and still had been able to have sex with someone they trusted. Probably quite a few of them. And here I was. Alone.
I know the title must be confusing you. Me, have sex. I know that's what I would think to if I were you. And that's why I will tell this very personal part of my life.
Weeks later Dark and I got together, once again. I was in bed, trying to scare away the nightmares that had been haunting my dreams for the past few days, and he just appeared. He surprised me, which he did that a lot. I apologized, before blushing. What an idiot I was. I couldn't even tell a serial killer from my boyfriend. Sad.very sad.
He didn't seem to mind, although nothing usually did with Dark. He was always laid-back. Even when he was a little kid. He wrapped his strong arms around me, and gave me a hug. Not like that wasn't usual but he just seemed, more intimate. He probably didn't mean it to be but it seemed they were more. I don't know.loving?
I asked him casually how life was going, and he told me he was fine. And I was glad. Just cause I was dying didn't mean the whole world was. He started to rock me, and it almost put me to sleep, but I didn't dare close my eyes. It would surely ruin the romantic mood. Was there even a romantic mood? How would I know? I mean I'd never really had one.
I leaned up and gave him a small kiss, hoping he wouldn't pull away. Hoping he didn't think I was a slut. Hoping he would kiss me back.
And then as if someone had turned on a warning switch, I felt a bad feeling.
"What's up with ya?" I asked. He had this zoned out look, like someone who was drunk. He told me nothing was wrong, and he was fine. I just rolled my eyes, and gave him a kiss on his neck. He leaned over and gave me a kiss asking me if " I knew he love me."
Let me say I had heard this, quite a few times. And you know what. I didn't think I deserved such a boyfriend. I don't even know how to explain how much I loved him, how much he meant to me.
He lay on top of me, kissing me gently and stared in the eye. He had such beautiful eyes.... And then a flashback. The situation the same except the guy was Roti and he had piercing evil gold eyes. I gasped, but didn't say anything to Dark, still not wanting to ruin the moment I cherished so much.
I continued to tell him I'd love him, forever and ever, until.
Saphire came in. She gave me a look that was pure distress, before dropping some papers on to my desk, and leaving quickly and quietly. Totally Busted. I couldn't even think about the thoughts rushing through her head.
And then I got the weird feeling Dark wasn't at all tuned into this world. I waved a hand in front of his face. "What is wrong with you?!" He explained to me that when he drank the blood of a person who has had drugs or alcohol, it half transferred to him. The thought of this made me nervous but I didn't say anything, and continued to play along with the game.. Naming people that I could go out with, making him laugh. He seemed to have a thing against Trunks, why I didn't know. And really I didn't care. As long as he was here with me, I was fine.
The next biggest shock. Being licked. What can I say? I mean the only time I'd ever been licked was with Juniper and June was a tiger. But by Dark.how.sexual.
And amazingly I wouldn't have minded having sex with him. At the time I just felt happy. I had almost forgotten the flashback of Roti. I just felt pure complete content, something I had rarely felt.
I continued to trail my kisses along his cheek and neck, running my fingers through his hair the whole time. And then I felt a fang against my neck. My first thought was to get up and leave, just because I didn't really want to get eaten, but I quickly decided that that was irrational and so I put one finger up to his lips, and told him there was no biting aloud.
Let me say, I was a little dazed at this point. Everything was too good. It was almost as if I was living in someone else's life.
"Do you want the blood?" I asked quietly, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice.
"Of course I do." he said with no hesitation. "But I wont take it. I already have had my share of blood for the week, and I rarely have to drink anymore, thanks to my friend."
Friends.
He hugged me again, sending chills down my back. His hands were running through my long curls, like a comb. I loved it. I loved this.
And slowly they moved down to the curve of my back, and that's when I saw the second flashback. Roti. I gave a small moan, but continued to kiss his neck, trying to forget him. Trying to enjoy myself. Trying to be normal.
He didn't seem to notice. Then again he was all liquored up.he probably didn't even realize what was happening. He started to French kiss me, which caught me by surprise, but afterwards I enjoyed this act just as much as everything else. His hands ran down to my hips, and held them gently. This was a change. Roti used to rip at them, like he did with the rest of my body.
And then I didn't want to do this. I didn't want the memories to come back. I didn't want nightmares, especially about Dark. I didn't want the pain, and I didn't want the guilt. And I didn't want Sex.
I asked him, if he wanted to do this, and he didn't seem to care. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was returning. He was drunk, he wasn't doing this for him or I, and he didn't know what he was doing. I pulled away and glared at him, before pointing at the door. "Get out. I'm not doing this when you're drunk or high, or whatever you are. Now out!" He looked at me with huge confused eyes. I turned away. "Get out." I said simply and he left, as quietly as he had come.
I sat there; mad at myself, for being so frigid. How many humans had been raped and still had been able to have sex with someone they trusted. Probably quite a few of them. And here I was. Alone.