~* More funniness! HOOOORAY FUNNINESS! Yeah, so Draco looks like Ron, Ron looks like Harry, Harry looks like Hermione, and Hermione looks like Draco? Will the insanity never end!?*~
Damaged Egos and Anti Twins
Chapter 3: Damn Peers!
From Draco's Perspective:
Damn them all! Damn them all to HELL! ARGH! Can't they see it's me! The sexy heir to the Malfoy throne!? So what if my Hair color changed! I was still a sexy bastard! GRRR! Snape was taking too long to make that bloody antidote! It had been three freagin' weeks! I tried walking through the halls without my cap, and just slicking back the red locks that were a prick in my side. I would wink at the sexy girls I always did, but this time they looked at me lie I was a piece of pond scum, not even pond scum, the little hairs that grow on pond scum. Not even that, the lice on the hairs on the pond scum! So, I put the cap back on. I actually had a couple caps. I had one that said "I love ferrets" and the one that said "(cough, cough) MUGGLE (cough, cough)" and the other one that said "I am Draco Malfoy, sexiest Slytherin alive! Bow to my ever will and I shall not smite you!" in large blinking letters with an arrow that jutted out and pointed to my head (which blinked also). Even my Slytherin brethren, my most trusted friends, were treating me like the lice on the hair of the pond scum! Those back stabbers! And those damn onions were terrorizing my dreams! I would go to sleep, and start dreaming about how great I would look with a crown that said "I'm the king of the world! Bow to my ever will and I shall not smite you!" and then everything gets dark. I see hundreds of little green eyes, and then the light comes back on. ONIONS! ONIONS EVERYWHERE! With huge green onion teeth, and huge green onions claws. They spit acid in my eyes and I run, run blindly, like a chicken with my head cut off. They catch me and sing a crazed onion song of triumph! The horror. Well, back to my hair dilemma. I tried bleaching my hair…but to my horror, it didn't work. My hair just turned…pink. PINK! Slytherins do not have pink freagin' hair! So, I wear my hats. How far I have fallen…so very, very far.
From Ron's Perspective:
Hell Yeah! Finally, Ronny boy, the side kick to the famous boy who lived has his moment of glory! The girls! So many beautiful girls! Everywhere I turn, there are sexy ass bitches saying "Ron, would you like me to do your homework?", "Ron, can I feed you?", Ron can I do your laundry?", "Ron can I do YOU?". And the answer to every one of those questions was a big, fat "HELLYEAH"! I am keeping this hair style, I don't care if Snape does find that antidote! I was now dead sexy. My freckles had disappeared and my sexy o'meter was hitting the ceiling! Oh, and to make the deal any sweeter, Malfoy was fucking miserable with my hair color! HAHAHA! Now you get to see what it's like you nutter snake! And he made the mistake Charlie did in his fifth year, he tried bleaching it! The git.
From Harry's Perspective:
Why me? Why did I have to get stuck with Hermione's hair? Why not Draco? Not that he wasn't having a tough time anyway, but I looked like a flash back from the 70s. I had an afro. Harry Potter the amazing boy who lived but apparently got shocked by Voldemort's wand, because he has an afro and a scar. Go me… While Ron basked in the beauty of every sexy woman in Hogwarts (including Cho [back stabber!]), I was left to bask in the affection of Crookshanks. Lucky me…
From Hermione's Perspective:
"I'm so pretty!" was the first thing I thought once I got used to my new hair. It was longer and blonde! Who doesn't want long blonde hair! Boys started noticing me, and kept thinking I was a Veela. This was fabulous…for a while. Then they started asking me out, and buying me flowers, and then fighting over me. Literally, as I walk through the halls fights break out. I have a dozens of bouquets in my dorm, and a black eye or broken jaw for each one in the hospital wing. Every where I went there were at least five boys gagging to ask me out. I had to start wearing shirts I used to mock and scoff at. Like the one I'm wearing now says "In your dreams!" and the one I wore yesterday said "Can't you see I'm too good for you!" and last week I actually went as far to wear one that said "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M A LESBIAN?!" I can't just be left alone to read a bloody book or do my homework. I don't really have to do my homework though, since all the seventh year prefects are begging to do my homework for me. I guess it's not that bad…