Pietro fell absently against the arm of the couch and flipped over it, landing on his back across the piece of furniture. He opened his eyes to find himself looking up at a cute little brunette, his head in her lap.
"Hello!" Pietro chirruped drunkenly.
"Oh for God's sake Maximoff get off her!" Scott scowled, dragging Pietro up by the back of the shirt and placing him into a standing position.
"No, iz ohkay," Pietro slurred, falling against Scott as he waggled a finger in his face, "cos I'mm drunk azz a skunk with a monk ina drunk on a funk. I mean.....I'm skunk azz a drunk ina ffffunk on a trunk..........I'mmm monk - DAMN IT!"
"You're a disgrace Pietro," Scott scolded, pushing the speedster off himself and trying to keep him upright.
"Yerr right!" Pietro said, waving his hands about elaborately, "but izz ohkay! Cos I got drrrrunk in mah houze, drinking outta mah glazz and you know wha' Scoosher?"
"What?" Scott asked, raising a disdainful eyebrow.
"Izz beeeeutiful," Pietro grinned.
"I'm sure it is," Scott said, rolling his eyes at Pietro. He made a startled grab for the New Yorker as he slid backwards, falling onto the couch again to land beside the brunette.
"Heh heh, whoopz," Pietro grinned, snuggling against her like a kitten. "Doo you think I shhhid go blonde?" Pietro cackled. The brunette giggled at him.
Scott hoisted him back to his feet. "Pietro try and sober up," he snapped.
"Izzz nod mah fault. The shhtupid chairsh keep moving."
"Yes, and I'm Abraham Lincoln," Scott rolled his eyes.
"You dooooo have a shlight reshemblanshe," Pietro grinned, prodding at Scott's cheek, missing and stabbing his nose.
"Oww!" Scott growled, swatting at him. "You know maybe I should just give you a quick smack across the head and chuck you in the bath with some ice. That might sober you up."
Pietro blinked innocently at Scott, his sapphire eyes wide, "you wouldn't hit a guy with glashes on would you Scosher?" The wire framed pair he wore with his costume gleamed softly. "And anywaysh, you can't shuck me out! You know why?"
"Why?" Scott growled, tired of the game.
"Cos this is mah houze and you come in here every year Gush an' you burn down my mutherfuckin backyard....."
"NO I DON'T!" Scott yelled, "AND MY NAME ISN'T GUS!"
"Whateva. The point izz Scosher, frogz don't wear tutus!"
"No it isn't!"
"ARE YOU ARGUING WITH ME!?!" Pietro roared, "COZ IF YOU ARE THEN YOU BETTER TELL ME ABOUT ID TOMORROW SO I CAN BUSHT YER ASS!" So saying his legs crumpled and he fell onto his butt with a thump. "Thish, izz unfig....unzignifi....not proper!" Pietro snapped.
"You know, I was going to try and help you Maximoff but it just doesn't seem worth it," Scott said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I could've been a shtar!" Pietro snapped up at him, "but you don't even have a bisnesh card and you let yer woman run around with the bounshers." He shook his head, "itsh a dishgrashe!"
"Who? Jean?" Scott frowned.
"You heard wha' I shaid Mishter! Itsh not on! Cos you know why? Cos woman are like flowersh. You gotta nourish them and give them love to make them grow." He turned to the brunette, "shee, if you wash mah woman I'd make shure you waz treated like a flower! Cos WOMAN ARE FLOWERSH AND THAT'S WHAT I SHAY!" He glared at Scott, daring him to disagree.
"Oh shit, Mindy wasn't lying," was all Scott said before he took off to look for the red head.
"Thash right Scosher! Shave the whalesh!" Pietro yelled, waving him away from where he sat on the floor. He turned back to the brunette, resting his chin on her knee and wrapping an arm about her legs. "Sho," he smiled, "do you like my party?"
- - -
"Yo' Jared!" Tai called, jerking his chin upwards as he greeted his friend. "Yo' gotta check this out man. This white gurl be talkin' the craziest shit!"
"Jean!?!" Rogue gapped, her mouth hanging open as she took in the scarlet-haired teen. "What ahre yah doing? Scott's been lookin' ah'll ovah for yah!"
"See!" Tai grinned, pointing a finger at Rogue and almost bouncing on the spot. "Ain't that the freakiest shit yo' eva heard?"
"Will yah stop that please!" Rogue cried in exasperation, "ah'm really no different than ahll of yah! It ain't mah fault yah think mah accent is weird!"
"Holy shit!" Jared beamed, "ya'll be right dawg! That's tight!"
"It is not 'tight,'" Rogue snapped. "And Jean ya'll should be ashamed of yahself. Ah don't know what Scott would say."
"You won't say anything then will you?" Jean sniffed, glaring at Rogue.
"Yeah that's right," Jared grinned wrapping an arm around her, "if he ain't gon' be man enough to claim her I ain't gon pass sumthin' this fine up!" Jean giggled, pressing herself against him.
"Ugh!" Rogue groaned, "that's disgustang! Ah nevah thought yah could be so shallow Jean."
"Ooh," Tai's grin got wider at the insult, "now she be gettin' all fiesty. Damn; I lurve this gurl!"
"Stop saying thangs like that!" Rogue yelled.
"Ya'll be hearing that!?!" Tai whooped to the group of people around him.
"Arrgh!" Rogue growled, yanking her arm out of Tai's grip. "Ah'm getting away from ya'll. Yah nuts as thay come!" She made to leave the circle only to walk straight into Scott, coming the other way. "Scott!" she gulped, backing off, her eyes widening.
"Scott!?!" Jean gulped, leaping guiltily to her feet, the green and gold cloth of her gown swaying closely about her.
- - -
Mel kissed Tori softly, her fingers intwined in his shirt as she slowly undid the buttons of his jerkin, which made up his Romeo costume. Tori eased himself further up the bed, letting himself fall back into the mound of pillows at the head of Pietro's bed. He stroked her hair away from her face before initiating another kiss, pulling her towards him as he did so. Mel giggled as he tugged at her shirt, revealing black lace.
"I do love you Tor," she whispered, smiling at him.
"And you know I love you just as much Mel." His eyes shone in her warmth, happy to bask in it for the rest of his days. She bent to kiss him again -
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pietro yelped in horror.
"AAAAAH!" Tori and Mel replied, their heads whipping about to the source of the sound.
Pietro stood in the door of his room, his sapphire eyes wide in shock, his mouth ajar.
"Pietro!?!" Mel squeaked.
"Ah!" Pietro yelped again. "AhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAh!"
Tori, got off Pietro's bed, his shirt still fully unbuttoned. "We can explain Pietro...really."
"No!" Pietro shook his head violently, leaping away from Tori. "You...you...YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE SEX IN MY BED!!"
"Ah, no we weren't?" Tori tried, giving Pietro an apologetic grin.
"LIAR!" Pietro yelled, "you were going to I know you were! Or do you walk around with your fly unbuttoned all the time?"
Tori's cheeks reddened slightly and he quickly corrected himself.
"Ooooh," Pietro moaned, "I'm scared for life! NeverNeverNeverNever. Go to a happy place! Happy place!"
"Petey we're sorry," Mel said.
"DON'T TALK TO ME!" Pietro yelped, "YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A TOP ON!"
"Oh come on Pietro," Mel rolled her eyes, "it's not as if you haven't seen me in only a bra before."
"HE HAS!?!" Tori yelled, turning on Mel.
"It was strip poker," Mel shrugged, "you gotta play by the rules."
"Yeah well then it was sexy!" Pietro retorted. "Not 'Oh my God Mel's about to have SEX in my bed!'"
"You thought she was sexy!?!" Tori roared, advancing on Pietro as his eyes darkened with rage.
"Well duh! Look at her." Pietro's eyes widened when he realized the mistake he'd made. "I mean no way?" Pietro squeaked.
"Pietro are we going in?" came a voice from outside the door.
"No!" Tori yelled out the door.
"Leave him alone Tori!" Mel said, her voice rising in warning.
"But Mel he - "
"I said leave him alone!" Mel snapped, her brows knitting together in a dark scowl.
"Ohh, this is so wrooooooooong!" Pietro wailed, "Happy place! Bunnies and candy and a dog made of chocolate. Oh you were going to be dirty in my be-he-heeeeeeeeeead!" He placed his hands on either side of his face, shaking his head at a speed which bordered on superspeed.
"Oh for God's sake Petey it's not like you were going to do any different!" Mel snapped.
"But it's my bed!" Pietro yelled, all signs of his slurred words gone in the forefront of his shock. "I'm allowed!" He gave another low wail. "And I have to sleep in iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"
"Will you please deal with this like an adult!?" Mel cried, getting to her feet and walking over to him.
"Will you please put a top on!" Pietro wailed back.
"Fine!" Mel snapped shortly, snatching up Pietro's letterman jacket from the floor and shrugging it on.
"Not one of mine!" Pietro cried. "Now you've made it dirty with all your preconshiev - your thoughts that were nasty!"
Mel finally lost her temper. "Arrgh! I don't know why I bother to deal with you when you're drunk!"
"Because you want to take advantage of the situation!" Pietro snapped. "You slut!"
"Oh please!" Mel snapped back. "Don't you slut me you man-ho!"
"Ah!" Pietro gasped, indignant. "Well at least I fuck 'em IN MY OWN BED you....you whore!"
"Sleaze."
"Charlton."
"Strumpet."
"Cortesan."
"Harlot."
"Bawd."
"Blowen."
"Call girl."
"Harem boy!"
"Harem boy?" Pietro blinked. He tried miserably to suppress his smile. Opposite him, Mel suddenly cracked, tears streaming down her face as she laughed hysterically.
"B-bawd?" she gasped between laughs, "what the hell is a bawd?"
"Bawd? What's a blowen?" Pietro gasped out, leaning against the wall as he laughed till the tears began to roll. Tori looked at them both as if they were nuts. "Go on, keep the jacket on 'Lorelei.' Just use Lance's bed next time k?"
"Sure thing Gus," she smiled warmly, hugging Pietro tight. "Come on Tor. Let's give Pietro his room back." Tori followed her out, blinking in confusion, still trying to catch up with what exactly had happened back there.
- - -
Freddy looked down at Jamie and shook his head. The tiny X-Man snored softly, clutching at his cowboy hat as he murmured. "No Kurt! Don't put me in the blender!"
"Oh-kay," Freddy raised an eyebrow as he plucked Jamie from the ground. "Let's just put you somewhere you won't get stood on."
Jamie's only reply was. "Don't lie to me! I know where you live!"
- - -
And still the madness continues! That's all for now though. :) I plan on having this finished in about another few chapters. Then I'm on to some new stuff and possibly a new character. But for now: please review! Cheers, Becs.