"Marauding Mayhem" OR "Sirius is clinically insane"
CHAPTER ONE: Notes in Potions OR Padfoot and .. sittin' in a tree.
"Now, class, take out yesterday's ingredients list," Professor Losseaur, the potions master, commanded, "And I will assign you into groups to complete the potions."
"YAY!" James Potter whispered to Sirius Black, "I LOVE potions!"
"Me, too!" Sirius Black chimed in. Apparently, the boys were practicing sarcasm.
"Shhhh!" Lily Evans admonished, "You'll get yourselves detentions again."
"So?" Remus chimed in, "It's not as though either one of them has a life."
"Oh, yeah," Sirius retorted, "I live solely for disemboweling toads in the dungeons. Overseen, of course, by esteemed Professor Loser."
"Black! Lupin! Ten points each from Gryffindor!"
"Your mother," Sirius whispered, at the penalty of another five points.
"The groups," Professor Losseaur intoned, "are as follows: Crabbe, Goyle, Pettigrew, Evans."
Lily and Peter groaned, Peter looking more than a little frightened.
"Don't hit on my girl, now," James mockingly admonished Peter.
Professor Losseaur continued calling out the groups: "Longbottom, MacNair, Black, Bones."
Sirius began muttering under his breath. Frank Longbottom, a fellow Gryffindor, and friendly enough, said, "Could be worse. We could be working with Snape."
"Yeah, well," Sirius said, "MacNair's not much better."
Professor Losseaur had been calling out other groups as Frank and Sirius complained about the Slytherins.
"And the final group," he ended, "will consist of Malfoy, Snape, and Lupin." Remus swore under his breath. Not even one Gryffindor ally in the group. This project was destined to, in the words of Sirius, "suck the grease right out of Snape's hair-and turn it pink."
Once Remus reached the desk he was to work at, he ripped a scrap of parchment off his homework and hastily scribbled a note to Sirius, who, thankfully, was working at the next table over.
Padfoot, he wrote, I hope you have a good disinfectant potion. Not only is Snape disease-ridden and greasy, but he also has lice. -Moony.
Moony, In the words of Lily: EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW! -Padfoot
Padfoot: Save me. -Moony
Moony: Keeping my own entertainment in mind, I cannot do as you ask, until such time as I feel like it or I need you for something, whichever never happens. -Padfoot
Padfoot: Your mother. -Moony
Suddenly, there came a soft knock on the classroom door. Professor Losseaur threw open the door and barked at whoever was there, "You're late. This is hardly a way to make an impression on your first day.But then, I suppose, you are a Gryffindor."
"Sorry, Professor," a feminine voice with a slight lilt answered, "I should have realized your call was far more urgent than the Headmaster's."
"Don't be flippant," he warned, "I shall not hesitate to begin deducting points from Gryffindor."
The girl bowed her head in mock shame and slipped inside the door. Remus could still not see her, because she was outlined as a mere shadow against the light from the still-open doorway.
"We're working on antidotes. Work with Snape, Malfoy, and Lupin as they're one short," Professor Losseaur snapped, closing the door.
The girl headed confidently towards Severus, Lucius, and Remus, as they were the only group with three members.
As she grew close, Remus could make out her features. She had hip-length thick, wavy black hair, large, shimmery silver-violet eyes, a rather pale complexion, and soft, pinkish lips that turned up naturally into a rather alluring smile. She was also quite tall for a fourteen-or-fifteen-year-old- girl, almost as tall as Sirius, Remus judged, who was the third-tallest boy in school.
"Hi," she said, and Remus identified her lilt as a semi-faint accent, "I'm Brenwynne Llyfyr." (Only it sounded like, "Brren-oow-uhnne Thluh-Vurr")
"Hi. Remus Lupin," Remus replied, as Sirius thrust a note at him:
Moony: Mister Padfoot has just witnessed the passing of a goddess. Please ignore any compulsory drool spots on the parchment. -Padfoot
Padfoot: Mister Moony does not think she is THAT pretty.--Moony
Moony: Mister Moony is on bloody crack, then. She is bloody gorgeous. -Padfoot
Padfoot: Why don't you tell her, then, not me? -Moony
Moony: OK -Padfoot
Sirius caught the girl's eye and said, while wearing quite the debonair grin, "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"
"Yeah, like a bitch," she answered nonchalantly, with the air of someone who has grown very tired indeed of that pickup line.
"Where?" Sirius demanded, "I'll kiss it and make it better."
"You're offering to kiss my arse, then?" she wondered mockingly.
"If need be," he replied flirtatiously, "Anything for a goddess."
"Uh-huh." She carefully measured out dried newt scales.
"Class dismissed," Professor Losseaur announced, and Sirius grabbed the new girl's books and ran, causing her to have to chase him down the hallway.
*** "I love you," Sirius mouthed across the common room. Brenwynne, unfortunately, didn't notice.
James, however, did.
"Aw, isn't that cute," he teased, "Siri has a widdle crush."
"Shut up," Sirius snarled, "You're just jealous."
"Of what? I have a girlfriend."
"Cos Brenwynne's prettier than Lil."
"You wish, Siri-pooh."
"That's it," Sirius decided, "I'm going over to talk to her."
He strolled over to the table where she sat studying, and sat down next to her, pushing the chair closer to hers as he did so.
"I love you," he announced, "And I also happen to think you are some rare form of divinity."
"Really?" she asked, amused.
"Yup." He answered, "Straight from Heaven."
"Actually, I'm from Wales," she answered wryly, "I don't know about goddesses, but there sure are a lot of sheep."
Sirius laughed. "Well," he said, "I love you anyway. You are also rather sexy."
"Oh?" she replied airily, "Well, if you can spell my name right on the first try, I'll sleep with you."
"Promise?" Sirius asked, knowing she was kidding.
"Sure."
He grabbed her quill and wrote, "Brenwynne Llyfyr"
"Close," she said, "but you forgot my middle names."
"No fair! I don't even know them? What is your full name, then?"
She took her quill back and wrote, in a beautiful, somehow elven-looking hand, "Brenwynne Llwellynne Rhyannon Llyfyr"
"Need to buy a vowel?" Sirius wondered, then asked, "Can you speak Welsh?"
"Ydy."
"Hm?"
"Ydy."
"Wha?"
"Yes, I AM Welsh."
"Will you?"
"Just did."
"Wanna teach me some Welsh?"
"Not really."
"Of course you do. So, how do you say 'please'?"
"Please."
"No, in Welsh."
"In Welsh."
"Quit it!"
"Quit it. Really, I thought you wanted to learn Welsh." she laughed.
"Nyeh. So, really, how do you say "please" in Welsh?"
"Os'gweylth yn da." (Oz goo-ay-ulth uhn da)
"Ossa whassa?"
She pronounced it slowly for him, and, apparently very proud of himself, Sirius proposed, "Kiss me, os'gweylth yn da!"
Brenwynne just laughed, gathered her books, and left.
CHAPTER ONE: Notes in Potions OR Padfoot and .. sittin' in a tree.
"Now, class, take out yesterday's ingredients list," Professor Losseaur, the potions master, commanded, "And I will assign you into groups to complete the potions."
"YAY!" James Potter whispered to Sirius Black, "I LOVE potions!"
"Me, too!" Sirius Black chimed in. Apparently, the boys were practicing sarcasm.
"Shhhh!" Lily Evans admonished, "You'll get yourselves detentions again."
"So?" Remus chimed in, "It's not as though either one of them has a life."
"Oh, yeah," Sirius retorted, "I live solely for disemboweling toads in the dungeons. Overseen, of course, by esteemed Professor Loser."
"Black! Lupin! Ten points each from Gryffindor!"
"Your mother," Sirius whispered, at the penalty of another five points.
"The groups," Professor Losseaur intoned, "are as follows: Crabbe, Goyle, Pettigrew, Evans."
Lily and Peter groaned, Peter looking more than a little frightened.
"Don't hit on my girl, now," James mockingly admonished Peter.
Professor Losseaur continued calling out the groups: "Longbottom, MacNair, Black, Bones."
Sirius began muttering under his breath. Frank Longbottom, a fellow Gryffindor, and friendly enough, said, "Could be worse. We could be working with Snape."
"Yeah, well," Sirius said, "MacNair's not much better."
Professor Losseaur had been calling out other groups as Frank and Sirius complained about the Slytherins.
"And the final group," he ended, "will consist of Malfoy, Snape, and Lupin." Remus swore under his breath. Not even one Gryffindor ally in the group. This project was destined to, in the words of Sirius, "suck the grease right out of Snape's hair-and turn it pink."
Once Remus reached the desk he was to work at, he ripped a scrap of parchment off his homework and hastily scribbled a note to Sirius, who, thankfully, was working at the next table over.
Padfoot, he wrote, I hope you have a good disinfectant potion. Not only is Snape disease-ridden and greasy, but he also has lice. -Moony.
Moony, In the words of Lily: EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW! -Padfoot
Padfoot: Save me. -Moony
Moony: Keeping my own entertainment in mind, I cannot do as you ask, until such time as I feel like it or I need you for something, whichever never happens. -Padfoot
Padfoot: Your mother. -Moony
Suddenly, there came a soft knock on the classroom door. Professor Losseaur threw open the door and barked at whoever was there, "You're late. This is hardly a way to make an impression on your first day.But then, I suppose, you are a Gryffindor."
"Sorry, Professor," a feminine voice with a slight lilt answered, "I should have realized your call was far more urgent than the Headmaster's."
"Don't be flippant," he warned, "I shall not hesitate to begin deducting points from Gryffindor."
The girl bowed her head in mock shame and slipped inside the door. Remus could still not see her, because she was outlined as a mere shadow against the light from the still-open doorway.
"We're working on antidotes. Work with Snape, Malfoy, and Lupin as they're one short," Professor Losseaur snapped, closing the door.
The girl headed confidently towards Severus, Lucius, and Remus, as they were the only group with three members.
As she grew close, Remus could make out her features. She had hip-length thick, wavy black hair, large, shimmery silver-violet eyes, a rather pale complexion, and soft, pinkish lips that turned up naturally into a rather alluring smile. She was also quite tall for a fourteen-or-fifteen-year-old- girl, almost as tall as Sirius, Remus judged, who was the third-tallest boy in school.
"Hi," she said, and Remus identified her lilt as a semi-faint accent, "I'm Brenwynne Llyfyr." (Only it sounded like, "Brren-oow-uhnne Thluh-Vurr")
"Hi. Remus Lupin," Remus replied, as Sirius thrust a note at him:
Moony: Mister Padfoot has just witnessed the passing of a goddess. Please ignore any compulsory drool spots on the parchment. -Padfoot
Padfoot: Mister Moony does not think she is THAT pretty.--Moony
Moony: Mister Moony is on bloody crack, then. She is bloody gorgeous. -Padfoot
Padfoot: Why don't you tell her, then, not me? -Moony
Moony: OK -Padfoot
Sirius caught the girl's eye and said, while wearing quite the debonair grin, "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"
"Yeah, like a bitch," she answered nonchalantly, with the air of someone who has grown very tired indeed of that pickup line.
"Where?" Sirius demanded, "I'll kiss it and make it better."
"You're offering to kiss my arse, then?" she wondered mockingly.
"If need be," he replied flirtatiously, "Anything for a goddess."
"Uh-huh." She carefully measured out dried newt scales.
"Class dismissed," Professor Losseaur announced, and Sirius grabbed the new girl's books and ran, causing her to have to chase him down the hallway.
*** "I love you," Sirius mouthed across the common room. Brenwynne, unfortunately, didn't notice.
James, however, did.
"Aw, isn't that cute," he teased, "Siri has a widdle crush."
"Shut up," Sirius snarled, "You're just jealous."
"Of what? I have a girlfriend."
"Cos Brenwynne's prettier than Lil."
"You wish, Siri-pooh."
"That's it," Sirius decided, "I'm going over to talk to her."
He strolled over to the table where she sat studying, and sat down next to her, pushing the chair closer to hers as he did so.
"I love you," he announced, "And I also happen to think you are some rare form of divinity."
"Really?" she asked, amused.
"Yup." He answered, "Straight from Heaven."
"Actually, I'm from Wales," she answered wryly, "I don't know about goddesses, but there sure are a lot of sheep."
Sirius laughed. "Well," he said, "I love you anyway. You are also rather sexy."
"Oh?" she replied airily, "Well, if you can spell my name right on the first try, I'll sleep with you."
"Promise?" Sirius asked, knowing she was kidding.
"Sure."
He grabbed her quill and wrote, "Brenwynne Llyfyr"
"Close," she said, "but you forgot my middle names."
"No fair! I don't even know them? What is your full name, then?"
She took her quill back and wrote, in a beautiful, somehow elven-looking hand, "Brenwynne Llwellynne Rhyannon Llyfyr"
"Need to buy a vowel?" Sirius wondered, then asked, "Can you speak Welsh?"
"Ydy."
"Hm?"
"Ydy."
"Wha?"
"Yes, I AM Welsh."
"Will you?"
"Just did."
"Wanna teach me some Welsh?"
"Not really."
"Of course you do. So, how do you say 'please'?"
"Please."
"No, in Welsh."
"In Welsh."
"Quit it!"
"Quit it. Really, I thought you wanted to learn Welsh." she laughed.
"Nyeh. So, really, how do you say "please" in Welsh?"
"Os'gweylth yn da." (Oz goo-ay-ulth uhn da)
"Ossa whassa?"
She pronounced it slowly for him, and, apparently very proud of himself, Sirius proposed, "Kiss me, os'gweylth yn da!"
Brenwynne just laughed, gathered her books, and left.