Chapter Two: Hogmseade.OR.Snape has boobs!
"Damn it," Sirius growled, "I've tried every goddamn pickup line I know. She just won't take."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Did you try just talking civilly to her?"
Sirius snorted. "What the hell would be the fun in that?"
"Whatever," Remus shrugged, "I still don't see what the big deal is with her.I've seen prettier.and she seems like kind of a snot."
Sirius placed his hands over his ears. "La la la, I can't HEAR you, you crackhead."
Remus rolled his eyes again and set out for Transfiguration.
* * * * * Moony: Hast thou ever seen a maid so fair? And just what exactly is our dear friend James doing with that pencil? -Padfoot
Padfoot: Mr. Moony has seen many a maiden fairer. Take the guitarist from Sorcery, for example. And Mr. Moony further believes that Mr. Prongs is using said pencil to remove mucus buildups from within his olfactory organ. -Moony
Sirius snorted into the pile of leaves he was supposed to be transforming into velvet handkerchiefs, which caused Peter to tear the note from Sirius and read it. Peter responded:
Mssrs. Moony and Padfoot: Actually, I think he's picking his nose. -Wormtail
Remus, upon receiving the parchment, rolled his eyes.
Wormtail: That's what I SAID. -Moony
When the note reached Sirius again, he snorted again-"And you call ME a crackhead," Remus whispered, sniggering-and replied:
Moony: The guitarist from Sorcery has absolutely no ass, weighs about two kilograms, and has dyed her hair so many times that it's probably affected her brain cells in some way. Which would explain why she has a pierced nose. -Padfoot PS: I think Prongsy knows we're talking about him.
Remus was attempting to pen a response in defense of his beloved rock star, but Professor McGonagall demanded his attention (Hey, what can I say, man, she's old.).
"Mr. Lupin!" she called, "If you would kindly pay attention!"
"Yes'm," he said, in imitation of a good little 1930's schoolboy.
Professor McGonagall frowned, but continued, "Your handkerchiefs should be pure velvet. Velour will not get you full credit, and felt is an abomination."
"Wonder why she's so adamant about velvet?" Sirius cracked, loud enough for McGonagall to hear, "Think she wants to sell them to Muggles on the black market?"
"BLACK!" McGonagall hollered, "Five points from Gryffindor!"
Sirius pretended to look affronted, and when McGonagall turned away, James shot back, "I dunno. Wonder if we'll get extra credit if we weave gold thread into 'em?"
* * * * *
"So, you guys going to Hogsmeade this weekend?" Sirius asked lazily, while the five (Sirius, Remus, James, Lily, and Peter) sat in the common room later that evening.
"I can't," Lily said almost apologetically, almost haughtily, "I have a major Arithmancy test to study for."
James rolled his eyes. "We all know you'll get a thousand percent anyway," he muttered, "And Arithmancy is total bullshit anyway."
"Um.I have.the same test," Peter said, "But I guess I can come anyway."
Remus yawned. "Yeah, I s'pose so," he answered.
James and Sirius didn't bother saying anything. It was a given that they would go, really. Both of them were known for taking any and every available opportunity to get out of Hogwarts, whether or not they actually had any classes to attend.
"Hey, Brenwynne," Sirius called across the common room, to where the dark- haired girl was studying.
"What?" She called back, still flipping the pages in her History of Magic textbook.
"C'mere." He motioned towards himself lazily.
"Why?"
"To give me a kiss, of course," Sirius replied, in mock surprise, "What else would I be calling you over for?"
"Maybe some other time, Black," Brenwynne replied, in a don't-you-wish sort of voice.
"Don't you think that's kind of bitchy?" James asked Sirius quietly, "I mean, she flirts with you often enough, but she always turns you down, tries to make you feel stupid."
"Nah," Sirius replied, "I think that's just her way of saying she's madly in love with me."
* * * * *
At long last, the weekend approached, and James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Brenwynne, who had agreed to go with them, were assembled in the front hall, eagerly awaiting Hogsmeade.
"So," Sirius began, "Think there'll be a any old people there we can torture? You know, like we turn some old bloke's toupee pink or something?"
"Better idea," Brenwynne piped up, "And it involves the Slytherins."
"Go on," James encouraged, "I'm always up for humiliating the school slimeballs."
"We-ell." Brenwynne began, "How do you think Snape would look with a pink toupee?"
"Not bad," Sirius commented, though he was a little disappointed. He had been expecting something more along the lines of, say, "Let's give Snape a sex change," but he supposed it would do.
"Yeah, but why stop there?" Remus added, "Why don't we give him a full face of makeup, too? The Muggle kind, that gets all blotchy when it rains."
"I like the way we think," James said cheerfully.
"And while we're at it," Peter said, trying not to be left out, "Let's change his robes too. Make 'em.say.lavender with yellow lace."
Silence for a moment, until Sirius spoke up.
"I have a better idea," he said solemnly, "Let's change his robes.to Gryffindor robes."
A fit of laughter ensued, until Brenwynne caught her breath enough to speak up.
"Yeah," she said gasping, "But why bring shame on the Gryffindor name? Let's make 'em Hufflepuffs!"
Peter giggled rather girlishly and blushed. "I don't know," he said shyly, "Wouldn't that be unfair to the Hufflepuffs?"
James eyed Peter warily. "So?"
"Well.nevermind," Peter spoke quickly, begging Sirius with his eyes not to say anything.
"He fancies a Hufflepuff," Sirius explained, giving Peter a rather nasty look, "No reason why we shouldn't humiliate the Slytherins, though." He added cheerily.
"Really?" Brenwynne asked Peter, "What year?"
"Nevermind that," James muttered under his breath, "I wanna know what gender."
Remus raised his eyebrows and looked at Peter. Was he.? Nah. James was just being a smart ass again.
As if reading Remus' thoughts, James asked innocently, "What? Would you rather I was a dumb ass?"
"Hardy-har-har," Sirius said dryly, "You need to work on your jokes, Jamesy- Wamesy."
Brenwynne giggled. "Does that mean I can call you Siri-Wiri?" she asked Sirius, slightly flirtatious.
"You," Sirius declared, "Can call me anything you want."
"Okay," she agreed cheerfully, "I'll call you BigFatSuperIdiotDork."
James laughed, "Ha! Bet you'd rather be Siri-Wiri, now, wouldn't you?"
"Oh, shut up, Jamesy-pooh," Sirius muttered, swatting at James' shoulder, but missing.
"Hey, guys," Peter piped up shrilly, "We're here!"
"Sow we've noticed," Remus responded, "Where to first? Zonko's or the Three Broomsticks?"
"Let's go get a drink," James suggested, "And then discuss Operation Snape's A Chick."
"Deal," the other four agreed, ands the group traipsed into the Three Broomsticks."
Several dozen butterbeers and two hours later, though, their plan hadn't matured beyond giving Snape some extra lip gloss, and curling Malfoy's eyelashes.
"We need Lil," James said, "She knows all these brilliant little hexes that the rest of us don't."
That wasn't entirely true, actually. Remus knew most of the hexes Lily did.he was just well aware of how often they backfired when performed by a group of underage wizards overdosing on butterbeer and Sugar Quills, and was content to let someone else take the blame if James wound up with, say, blue ears.
"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "But then we have to contend with you making little kissy faces across the table at Lily."
"Shut up." James blushed, "I DO NOT make kissy faces1"
Remus, Peter, and Brenwynne coughed discreetly. Sirius, on the other hand, proceeded to choke himself.
"Ha ha," James muttered, "I, for one, am man enough to take your childish insults. I also want to see Snape looking like a Spice Girl. So I'm going to get Lil."
James stormed out of the café and towards one of the many secret entrances back into Hogwarts.
"How much you wanna bet he's the one wearing lipstick by the time he gets back?" Sirius sniggered.
* * * * *
Within ten minutes of Lily's arrival, they had a brilliant plan.
"I don't know," Peter was always the one to express doubt, "Don't you think a padded bra is a bit much?"
"NO." the other five said in unison.
"One thing," Brenwynne reminded them, "We've got to make sure we do it outside of Hogsmeade grounds. Technically, if we're in Hogsmeade, we're on school grounds, since it's a field trip. Whatever we do outside of Hogsmeade, though, as long as it's legal, will only count as being outside if the assigned bounds for a field trip."
"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" Sirius asked, apparently awed by her rule-breaking strategies.
"Well," Remus said, "Let's go, shall we?"
* * * * *
As outlined in their plan, Peter was acting as bait, to lure Snape, Malfoy, and MacNair outside of Hogsmeade bounds. He stood just beyond the Shrieking Shack, yelling insults at the three Slytherins: one blond, one beefy, and one greasy.
"So, Malfoy," he goaded, "I saw your mother the other day. She a hag or just an ugly witch?"
"Don't you talk about my mother." Lucius Malfoy warned, "Lest you want me to pound you into a pudding-oops-my bad.You rather look like a pudding already."
The other Slytherins sniggered stupidly, and Peter ignored them, continuing with his assigned role.
"Snape!" he called, "I hear you're the best potions student in the school!"
"That's right," Severus Snape replied smugly.
"Well.I need a little help."
"And who says I'm going to help you, Gryffindor scum?"
"Please?" Peter made himself look servile and yielding, "I really need some help with this particular potion."
"Maybe," Snape said, with a tone that clearly said, if-you're-very-very- lucky-in-conjunction-with-my-suffering-a-concussion.
"Well.It's called shampoo," Peter said, and pretended to reflect further on the matter before continuing, "Maybe I'd better ask someone else."
"You-" Snape charged at the small, round boy, the other two Slytherins close behind.
As soon as the Slytherins had crossed the Hogsmeade line, Brenwynne jumped out from behind a tree and turned their hair different colors. Malfoy's was lavender, MacNair's a rather flattering shade of baby blue, and Snape's- Why, bright pink, of course.
Lily played the next part. She peeked out from behind a rock and aimed at the Slytherins' newly colored hair. A quick burst of light, and all three were sporting new styles as well. Malfoy's hair was drawn up into a high ponytail at the crown of his head, a few lavender strands falling rather gracefully in front of his face. MacNair had a low bun at the nape of his neck, and Snape.Ah, Snape. Snape had two Dorothy-like braids, each trimmed with magenta ribbon. He also had glitter in his bangs.
It was difficult for James to play his part while bent over double with laughter, but he managed to magic a rather pretty sparkly purple eye shadow on each-er-boy, and their eyelashes grew and curled. Almost as an afterthought, James added to each face bright red lipstick and blush.
By now, the Slytherins were noticing that their heads felt oddly weighted down. As they were reaching their hands up to their new hairstyles in confusion, Remus changed the insignia on their robes to resemble those of the Hufflepuffs'.
"What the-" Snape reached up and felt the braids on either side of his head. He pulled his hand away, looked at it for a minute, and saw glitter all over his fingers.
"GRYFFINDOR SCUM!" he yelled, barging towards James or Peter, whichever he came to first.
Just as Snape was making his charge, Sirius came out from behind a shrub.
"You," Snape growled.
"Me." Sirius responded calmly.
The two stood, perfectly still, glaring at each other for a split second, until Sirius roared, "Latexius!"
Suddenly, Snape found he had breasts.
"I'm going to kill you, Black," he hissed, "I am going to murder you a thousand times over."
Sirius, as well as his five cohorts, was unable to respond for laughing.
Meanwhile, the majority of Hogwarts student sin third year or above had come over to see what all the shouting was about.
Most stood in absolute shock before doubling over laughing, and a couple of Slytherin boys whistled and catcalled until they realized that not only were the three attractive girls technically boys, but that they were also in their own house.
* * * * *
It only took about five minutes for the makeup and hair to fade away, and less than that for the three unfortunate Slytherins to realize that they did not, in fact, have breasts, but were only wearing heavily padded brassieres. Nevertheless, all of Gryffindor house, and a vast majority of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff agreed it was, by far, the best prank the Marauders had pulled to date.
Their glory lasted far into the night, in the form of a rather sensational party in the Gryffindor common room. Of course, all good things must come to an end, and this particular celebration ended when McGonagall, head of Gryffindor house, crashed their party.
"SOMEONE SPIKE THE PUNCH!" she yelled, bearing a bottle of Ogden's Olde Firewhiskey.
(HA-HA! Just kidding! You wish! That would have been pretty great, huh? Sorry, just a little authoress humor.)
(what she really said was this: )
"I have never," she declared, "been more embarrassed and disappointed with the Gryffindors in all my time here at Hogwarts."
"That's what she said when I gave Dumbledore a Mohawk," Sirius whispered loudly.
McGonagall glared at Sirius.
"Since Mr. Black here finds himself so funny," she told the assembled students, "I'm sure he'll be perfectly able to entertain himself while in detention. BLACK, POTTER, EVANS, LUPIN, LYFYR, PETTIGREW! You will each serve two detentions, and fifty points will be deducted from Gryffindor. That is all."
As soon as she left, Sirius muttered, "I think we should have given her a makeover, too. It certainly couldn't have hurt."
"Damn it," Sirius growled, "I've tried every goddamn pickup line I know. She just won't take."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Did you try just talking civilly to her?"
Sirius snorted. "What the hell would be the fun in that?"
"Whatever," Remus shrugged, "I still don't see what the big deal is with her.I've seen prettier.and she seems like kind of a snot."
Sirius placed his hands over his ears. "La la la, I can't HEAR you, you crackhead."
Remus rolled his eyes again and set out for Transfiguration.
* * * * * Moony: Hast thou ever seen a maid so fair? And just what exactly is our dear friend James doing with that pencil? -Padfoot
Padfoot: Mr. Moony has seen many a maiden fairer. Take the guitarist from Sorcery, for example. And Mr. Moony further believes that Mr. Prongs is using said pencil to remove mucus buildups from within his olfactory organ. -Moony
Sirius snorted into the pile of leaves he was supposed to be transforming into velvet handkerchiefs, which caused Peter to tear the note from Sirius and read it. Peter responded:
Mssrs. Moony and Padfoot: Actually, I think he's picking his nose. -Wormtail
Remus, upon receiving the parchment, rolled his eyes.
Wormtail: That's what I SAID. -Moony
When the note reached Sirius again, he snorted again-"And you call ME a crackhead," Remus whispered, sniggering-and replied:
Moony: The guitarist from Sorcery has absolutely no ass, weighs about two kilograms, and has dyed her hair so many times that it's probably affected her brain cells in some way. Which would explain why she has a pierced nose. -Padfoot PS: I think Prongsy knows we're talking about him.
Remus was attempting to pen a response in defense of his beloved rock star, but Professor McGonagall demanded his attention (Hey, what can I say, man, she's old.).
"Mr. Lupin!" she called, "If you would kindly pay attention!"
"Yes'm," he said, in imitation of a good little 1930's schoolboy.
Professor McGonagall frowned, but continued, "Your handkerchiefs should be pure velvet. Velour will not get you full credit, and felt is an abomination."
"Wonder why she's so adamant about velvet?" Sirius cracked, loud enough for McGonagall to hear, "Think she wants to sell them to Muggles on the black market?"
"BLACK!" McGonagall hollered, "Five points from Gryffindor!"
Sirius pretended to look affronted, and when McGonagall turned away, James shot back, "I dunno. Wonder if we'll get extra credit if we weave gold thread into 'em?"
* * * * *
"So, you guys going to Hogsmeade this weekend?" Sirius asked lazily, while the five (Sirius, Remus, James, Lily, and Peter) sat in the common room later that evening.
"I can't," Lily said almost apologetically, almost haughtily, "I have a major Arithmancy test to study for."
James rolled his eyes. "We all know you'll get a thousand percent anyway," he muttered, "And Arithmancy is total bullshit anyway."
"Um.I have.the same test," Peter said, "But I guess I can come anyway."
Remus yawned. "Yeah, I s'pose so," he answered.
James and Sirius didn't bother saying anything. It was a given that they would go, really. Both of them were known for taking any and every available opportunity to get out of Hogwarts, whether or not they actually had any classes to attend.
"Hey, Brenwynne," Sirius called across the common room, to where the dark- haired girl was studying.
"What?" She called back, still flipping the pages in her History of Magic textbook.
"C'mere." He motioned towards himself lazily.
"Why?"
"To give me a kiss, of course," Sirius replied, in mock surprise, "What else would I be calling you over for?"
"Maybe some other time, Black," Brenwynne replied, in a don't-you-wish sort of voice.
"Don't you think that's kind of bitchy?" James asked Sirius quietly, "I mean, she flirts with you often enough, but she always turns you down, tries to make you feel stupid."
"Nah," Sirius replied, "I think that's just her way of saying she's madly in love with me."
* * * * *
At long last, the weekend approached, and James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Brenwynne, who had agreed to go with them, were assembled in the front hall, eagerly awaiting Hogsmeade.
"So," Sirius began, "Think there'll be a any old people there we can torture? You know, like we turn some old bloke's toupee pink or something?"
"Better idea," Brenwynne piped up, "And it involves the Slytherins."
"Go on," James encouraged, "I'm always up for humiliating the school slimeballs."
"We-ell." Brenwynne began, "How do you think Snape would look with a pink toupee?"
"Not bad," Sirius commented, though he was a little disappointed. He had been expecting something more along the lines of, say, "Let's give Snape a sex change," but he supposed it would do.
"Yeah, but why stop there?" Remus added, "Why don't we give him a full face of makeup, too? The Muggle kind, that gets all blotchy when it rains."
"I like the way we think," James said cheerfully.
"And while we're at it," Peter said, trying not to be left out, "Let's change his robes too. Make 'em.say.lavender with yellow lace."
Silence for a moment, until Sirius spoke up.
"I have a better idea," he said solemnly, "Let's change his robes.to Gryffindor robes."
A fit of laughter ensued, until Brenwynne caught her breath enough to speak up.
"Yeah," she said gasping, "But why bring shame on the Gryffindor name? Let's make 'em Hufflepuffs!"
Peter giggled rather girlishly and blushed. "I don't know," he said shyly, "Wouldn't that be unfair to the Hufflepuffs?"
James eyed Peter warily. "So?"
"Well.nevermind," Peter spoke quickly, begging Sirius with his eyes not to say anything.
"He fancies a Hufflepuff," Sirius explained, giving Peter a rather nasty look, "No reason why we shouldn't humiliate the Slytherins, though." He added cheerily.
"Really?" Brenwynne asked Peter, "What year?"
"Nevermind that," James muttered under his breath, "I wanna know what gender."
Remus raised his eyebrows and looked at Peter. Was he.? Nah. James was just being a smart ass again.
As if reading Remus' thoughts, James asked innocently, "What? Would you rather I was a dumb ass?"
"Hardy-har-har," Sirius said dryly, "You need to work on your jokes, Jamesy- Wamesy."
Brenwynne giggled. "Does that mean I can call you Siri-Wiri?" she asked Sirius, slightly flirtatious.
"You," Sirius declared, "Can call me anything you want."
"Okay," she agreed cheerfully, "I'll call you BigFatSuperIdiotDork."
James laughed, "Ha! Bet you'd rather be Siri-Wiri, now, wouldn't you?"
"Oh, shut up, Jamesy-pooh," Sirius muttered, swatting at James' shoulder, but missing.
"Hey, guys," Peter piped up shrilly, "We're here!"
"Sow we've noticed," Remus responded, "Where to first? Zonko's or the Three Broomsticks?"
"Let's go get a drink," James suggested, "And then discuss Operation Snape's A Chick."
"Deal," the other four agreed, ands the group traipsed into the Three Broomsticks."
Several dozen butterbeers and two hours later, though, their plan hadn't matured beyond giving Snape some extra lip gloss, and curling Malfoy's eyelashes.
"We need Lil," James said, "She knows all these brilliant little hexes that the rest of us don't."
That wasn't entirely true, actually. Remus knew most of the hexes Lily did.he was just well aware of how often they backfired when performed by a group of underage wizards overdosing on butterbeer and Sugar Quills, and was content to let someone else take the blame if James wound up with, say, blue ears.
"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "But then we have to contend with you making little kissy faces across the table at Lily."
"Shut up." James blushed, "I DO NOT make kissy faces1"
Remus, Peter, and Brenwynne coughed discreetly. Sirius, on the other hand, proceeded to choke himself.
"Ha ha," James muttered, "I, for one, am man enough to take your childish insults. I also want to see Snape looking like a Spice Girl. So I'm going to get Lil."
James stormed out of the café and towards one of the many secret entrances back into Hogwarts.
"How much you wanna bet he's the one wearing lipstick by the time he gets back?" Sirius sniggered.
* * * * *
Within ten minutes of Lily's arrival, they had a brilliant plan.
"I don't know," Peter was always the one to express doubt, "Don't you think a padded bra is a bit much?"
"NO." the other five said in unison.
"One thing," Brenwynne reminded them, "We've got to make sure we do it outside of Hogsmeade grounds. Technically, if we're in Hogsmeade, we're on school grounds, since it's a field trip. Whatever we do outside of Hogsmeade, though, as long as it's legal, will only count as being outside if the assigned bounds for a field trip."
"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" Sirius asked, apparently awed by her rule-breaking strategies.
"Well," Remus said, "Let's go, shall we?"
* * * * *
As outlined in their plan, Peter was acting as bait, to lure Snape, Malfoy, and MacNair outside of Hogsmeade bounds. He stood just beyond the Shrieking Shack, yelling insults at the three Slytherins: one blond, one beefy, and one greasy.
"So, Malfoy," he goaded, "I saw your mother the other day. She a hag or just an ugly witch?"
"Don't you talk about my mother." Lucius Malfoy warned, "Lest you want me to pound you into a pudding-oops-my bad.You rather look like a pudding already."
The other Slytherins sniggered stupidly, and Peter ignored them, continuing with his assigned role.
"Snape!" he called, "I hear you're the best potions student in the school!"
"That's right," Severus Snape replied smugly.
"Well.I need a little help."
"And who says I'm going to help you, Gryffindor scum?"
"Please?" Peter made himself look servile and yielding, "I really need some help with this particular potion."
"Maybe," Snape said, with a tone that clearly said, if-you're-very-very- lucky-in-conjunction-with-my-suffering-a-concussion.
"Well.It's called shampoo," Peter said, and pretended to reflect further on the matter before continuing, "Maybe I'd better ask someone else."
"You-" Snape charged at the small, round boy, the other two Slytherins close behind.
As soon as the Slytherins had crossed the Hogsmeade line, Brenwynne jumped out from behind a tree and turned their hair different colors. Malfoy's was lavender, MacNair's a rather flattering shade of baby blue, and Snape's- Why, bright pink, of course.
Lily played the next part. She peeked out from behind a rock and aimed at the Slytherins' newly colored hair. A quick burst of light, and all three were sporting new styles as well. Malfoy's hair was drawn up into a high ponytail at the crown of his head, a few lavender strands falling rather gracefully in front of his face. MacNair had a low bun at the nape of his neck, and Snape.Ah, Snape. Snape had two Dorothy-like braids, each trimmed with magenta ribbon. He also had glitter in his bangs.
It was difficult for James to play his part while bent over double with laughter, but he managed to magic a rather pretty sparkly purple eye shadow on each-er-boy, and their eyelashes grew and curled. Almost as an afterthought, James added to each face bright red lipstick and blush.
By now, the Slytherins were noticing that their heads felt oddly weighted down. As they were reaching their hands up to their new hairstyles in confusion, Remus changed the insignia on their robes to resemble those of the Hufflepuffs'.
"What the-" Snape reached up and felt the braids on either side of his head. He pulled his hand away, looked at it for a minute, and saw glitter all over his fingers.
"GRYFFINDOR SCUM!" he yelled, barging towards James or Peter, whichever he came to first.
Just as Snape was making his charge, Sirius came out from behind a shrub.
"You," Snape growled.
"Me." Sirius responded calmly.
The two stood, perfectly still, glaring at each other for a split second, until Sirius roared, "Latexius!"
Suddenly, Snape found he had breasts.
"I'm going to kill you, Black," he hissed, "I am going to murder you a thousand times over."
Sirius, as well as his five cohorts, was unable to respond for laughing.
Meanwhile, the majority of Hogwarts student sin third year or above had come over to see what all the shouting was about.
Most stood in absolute shock before doubling over laughing, and a couple of Slytherin boys whistled and catcalled until they realized that not only were the three attractive girls technically boys, but that they were also in their own house.
* * * * *
It only took about five minutes for the makeup and hair to fade away, and less than that for the three unfortunate Slytherins to realize that they did not, in fact, have breasts, but were only wearing heavily padded brassieres. Nevertheless, all of Gryffindor house, and a vast majority of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff agreed it was, by far, the best prank the Marauders had pulled to date.
Their glory lasted far into the night, in the form of a rather sensational party in the Gryffindor common room. Of course, all good things must come to an end, and this particular celebration ended when McGonagall, head of Gryffindor house, crashed their party.
"SOMEONE SPIKE THE PUNCH!" she yelled, bearing a bottle of Ogden's Olde Firewhiskey.
(HA-HA! Just kidding! You wish! That would have been pretty great, huh? Sorry, just a little authoress humor.)
(what she really said was this: )
"I have never," she declared, "been more embarrassed and disappointed with the Gryffindors in all my time here at Hogwarts."
"That's what she said when I gave Dumbledore a Mohawk," Sirius whispered loudly.
McGonagall glared at Sirius.
"Since Mr. Black here finds himself so funny," she told the assembled students, "I'm sure he'll be perfectly able to entertain himself while in detention. BLACK, POTTER, EVANS, LUPIN, LYFYR, PETTIGREW! You will each serve two detentions, and fifty points will be deducted from Gryffindor. That is all."
As soon as she left, Sirius muttered, "I think we should have given her a makeover, too. It certainly couldn't have hurt."