Chapter Four: In The Headmaster's Office.OR.Way to Go, BigFatSuperIdiotDork
It was with heavy heart (not really) that the six Gryffindor students mounted the stairs to the Headmaster's office.
"Ew," Lily whispered, "You still stink, Sirius."
"Whaddya mean 'still'?" he asked indignantly, "That was a fresh one!"
Lily shuddered, and Brenwynne smacked Sirius on the back of the head.
"Please," she begged, "No more chili for you."
Peter sniggered, and nearly tripped on the stairs. "Oops, sorry," he said, bumping into Lily from behind.
"RAPE!" James whispered loudly, and Peter blushed, adjusting his posture so as not to fall down the stairs.
Remus looked at James.
"So, what do you think we'll get this time?" he wondered, "We won't be expelled, will we?"
"Nah," Sirius assured them, "I've done way worse than this."
"I don't even want to know," Lily muttered.
"I do!" Brenwynne and Remus yelled in unison.
"I already do," James said, and added, "It was pretty funny."
The six stopped talking as they reached Professor Dumbledore's door. It was Sirius who knocked, gaily and perkily.
"It's me again!" he called cheerily.
The door opened, and all six looked up into the old man's brilliant blue eyes.
"Ah, Mr. Black," he sighed, "We cannot go one day without getting into trouble, can we?"
"Nope!" he agreed, cheerfully, "And please, call me Sirius. Or BigFatSuperIdiotDork."
Dumbledore hid a smile.
"You do know I'm going to have to punish you-all of you-for this," he said.
"Aw, c'mon, live a little," Sirius encouraged, "Let us off the hook and I'll tell you what it says on Professor Losseaur's under-"
"Enough." Dumbledore declare, though all six were sure he was trying hard not to laugh, "The six of you will be barred from the next Hogsmeade weekend. If I find out that you do attend Hogsmeade on that weekend, you will receive further, far more severe penalties.
"Okay," Sirius said, "But I still think it would have been a really enlightening experience for you to learn that Professor Losseaur writes his name on the waistband-"
"Good-bye, Mr. Black," Dumbledore said pointedly, and the six left his office.
"Well, that wasn't so bad," James said easily, "And we have my Invisibility Cloak. We can get in to Hogsmeade easily.
"Yeah," Brenwynne agreed, "But we'll have to be careful, Professor Losseaur is going to be out to get us.Maybe one or two of us should stay here, and we can keep switching off, four in Hogsmeade, two here. All six of us won't fit under that cloak, anyway."
"Good thinking," Sirius complimented her, "I think you deserve a kiss."
"Not on your life," Brenwynne said easily.
Sirius muttered something under his breath, and James launched a spitball at him.
* * * * *
The next Hogsmeade weekend came soon enough, and it was decided that they would go in threes to Hogsmeade: James, Lily, and Remus until lunch, and after that, Sirius, Peter, and Brenwynne.
As the first group left under the cloak, Sirius decided they should walk past both the Headmaster's office and Professor Losseaur's office, just so the two would be satisfied that the six were staying in school.
"We shouldn't go all together, though," Brenwynne warned, "It would seem strange, to see the three of us now, and the three of them later."
* * * * *
Meanwhile, in Hogsmeade, James, Lily, and Remus were enjoying themselves drinking Butterbeer with Frank Longbottom, who, since the other three were huddled under James' Invisibility Cloak, appeared to be talking to himself, and polishing off four bottles of Butterbeer simultaneously.
"So, where's the rest of your little gang?" Frank asked jovially.
"At school," Remus explained, "We're going to switch off later."
"Ah, I see," he said, "Four times eight is thirty-two."
He had to keep saying random things like this whenever someone else walked by his table, so that no one would figure out that Frank was really not alone.
"So, what do you think Dumbledore will do if he finds out you've come into Hogsmeade anyway?" Frank wondered.
"It's not going to happen," Lily whispered, "We made sure of that.That's why we're coming three at a time."
"Besides," James added, "We can just say we were overpowered by Sirius, that he threatened to turn us all into dung beetles of we refused."
"Yeah, like anyone'd believe that," Frank laughed, "Dumbledore's not stup- So, the square root of pi is apple."
"He is a bit senile, though," Remus said quietly, discreetly taking a sip from his butterbeer.
"That excuse could work for Peter, actually," James said, "Everyone thinks he just tags along after us anyway."
"You mean he doesn't?" Frank asked skeptically, "When two vowels go a- walking, the first one does the talking."
"No way," James said, "What would we do without Peter, the human pudding?"
Lily punched him softly. "Quit picking on him," she admonished.
"Okay," James agreed brightly, "I'll pick on you instead. Your hair's so red-"
" 'A' before 'E' except after 'C'," Frank said loudly as a Hufflepuff girl walked by.
"So red what?" Lily whispered fiercely once the girl was out of earshot.
"That.um.it's red," James finished lamely.
"Eenie, meenie, miney mo," Frank said loudly, "Catch a dragon by the toe."
* * * * *
Lily, James, and Remus rushed into the Great Hall just in time. Professor Dumbledore looked over towards the Gryffindor table and was quite surprised to see all six of the sentenced there.
"Ha! Look at his face," Sirius crowed, "He's gonna have a heart attack!"
"Yeah, he will, if you're planning on eating that," James muttered, moving the chili out of Sirius' reach.
Sirius scowled and bit into a chicken leg.
* * * * *
The second group of Marauders had just eaten, so they decided to skip on the Three Broomsticks. Besides, as Brenwynne pointed out, they didn't really need to brush up on their multiplication tables.
They headed instead to Zonko's, but soon realized it was too crowded; No way were all three of them going to get anywhere in there without stepping on someone. Peter decided to go to Honeydukes, but Sirius and Brenwynne were both still full from lunch, and decided to head out behind the Shrieking Shack and beyond Hogsmeade grounds instead, where they weren't very likely to be seen. They had to be careful, because Peter had the Invisibility Cloak.
Once behind the shack, Brenwynne and Sirius began discussing plans for further pranks on the Slytherins. They were really a great planning team, because Sirius was frankly brilliant when it came to ways to humiliate people, and Brenwynne knew ways around all the rules.
"No," Brenwynne was arguing, "I think we've already overdone the whole 'pink' concept. Instead, we should-"
Sirius suddenly leaned over and kissed her.
After a moment, he pulled away and said, "So. Will you go out with me?"
Brenwynne just looked at him for a minute, and Sirius almost wished he hadn't kissed her, so frightening was her silence, until at last she said,
"Of course I will. I love you, you BigFatSuperIdiotDork."
It was with heavy heart (not really) that the six Gryffindor students mounted the stairs to the Headmaster's office.
"Ew," Lily whispered, "You still stink, Sirius."
"Whaddya mean 'still'?" he asked indignantly, "That was a fresh one!"
Lily shuddered, and Brenwynne smacked Sirius on the back of the head.
"Please," she begged, "No more chili for you."
Peter sniggered, and nearly tripped on the stairs. "Oops, sorry," he said, bumping into Lily from behind.
"RAPE!" James whispered loudly, and Peter blushed, adjusting his posture so as not to fall down the stairs.
Remus looked at James.
"So, what do you think we'll get this time?" he wondered, "We won't be expelled, will we?"
"Nah," Sirius assured them, "I've done way worse than this."
"I don't even want to know," Lily muttered.
"I do!" Brenwynne and Remus yelled in unison.
"I already do," James said, and added, "It was pretty funny."
The six stopped talking as they reached Professor Dumbledore's door. It was Sirius who knocked, gaily and perkily.
"It's me again!" he called cheerily.
The door opened, and all six looked up into the old man's brilliant blue eyes.
"Ah, Mr. Black," he sighed, "We cannot go one day without getting into trouble, can we?"
"Nope!" he agreed, cheerfully, "And please, call me Sirius. Or BigFatSuperIdiotDork."
Dumbledore hid a smile.
"You do know I'm going to have to punish you-all of you-for this," he said.
"Aw, c'mon, live a little," Sirius encouraged, "Let us off the hook and I'll tell you what it says on Professor Losseaur's under-"
"Enough." Dumbledore declare, though all six were sure he was trying hard not to laugh, "The six of you will be barred from the next Hogsmeade weekend. If I find out that you do attend Hogsmeade on that weekend, you will receive further, far more severe penalties.
"Okay," Sirius said, "But I still think it would have been a really enlightening experience for you to learn that Professor Losseaur writes his name on the waistband-"
"Good-bye, Mr. Black," Dumbledore said pointedly, and the six left his office.
"Well, that wasn't so bad," James said easily, "And we have my Invisibility Cloak. We can get in to Hogsmeade easily.
"Yeah," Brenwynne agreed, "But we'll have to be careful, Professor Losseaur is going to be out to get us.Maybe one or two of us should stay here, and we can keep switching off, four in Hogsmeade, two here. All six of us won't fit under that cloak, anyway."
"Good thinking," Sirius complimented her, "I think you deserve a kiss."
"Not on your life," Brenwynne said easily.
Sirius muttered something under his breath, and James launched a spitball at him.
* * * * *
The next Hogsmeade weekend came soon enough, and it was decided that they would go in threes to Hogsmeade: James, Lily, and Remus until lunch, and after that, Sirius, Peter, and Brenwynne.
As the first group left under the cloak, Sirius decided they should walk past both the Headmaster's office and Professor Losseaur's office, just so the two would be satisfied that the six were staying in school.
"We shouldn't go all together, though," Brenwynne warned, "It would seem strange, to see the three of us now, and the three of them later."
* * * * *
Meanwhile, in Hogsmeade, James, Lily, and Remus were enjoying themselves drinking Butterbeer with Frank Longbottom, who, since the other three were huddled under James' Invisibility Cloak, appeared to be talking to himself, and polishing off four bottles of Butterbeer simultaneously.
"So, where's the rest of your little gang?" Frank asked jovially.
"At school," Remus explained, "We're going to switch off later."
"Ah, I see," he said, "Four times eight is thirty-two."
He had to keep saying random things like this whenever someone else walked by his table, so that no one would figure out that Frank was really not alone.
"So, what do you think Dumbledore will do if he finds out you've come into Hogsmeade anyway?" Frank wondered.
"It's not going to happen," Lily whispered, "We made sure of that.That's why we're coming three at a time."
"Besides," James added, "We can just say we were overpowered by Sirius, that he threatened to turn us all into dung beetles of we refused."
"Yeah, like anyone'd believe that," Frank laughed, "Dumbledore's not stup- So, the square root of pi is apple."
"He is a bit senile, though," Remus said quietly, discreetly taking a sip from his butterbeer.
"That excuse could work for Peter, actually," James said, "Everyone thinks he just tags along after us anyway."
"You mean he doesn't?" Frank asked skeptically, "When two vowels go a- walking, the first one does the talking."
"No way," James said, "What would we do without Peter, the human pudding?"
Lily punched him softly. "Quit picking on him," she admonished.
"Okay," James agreed brightly, "I'll pick on you instead. Your hair's so red-"
" 'A' before 'E' except after 'C'," Frank said loudly as a Hufflepuff girl walked by.
"So red what?" Lily whispered fiercely once the girl was out of earshot.
"That.um.it's red," James finished lamely.
"Eenie, meenie, miney mo," Frank said loudly, "Catch a dragon by the toe."
* * * * *
Lily, James, and Remus rushed into the Great Hall just in time. Professor Dumbledore looked over towards the Gryffindor table and was quite surprised to see all six of the sentenced there.
"Ha! Look at his face," Sirius crowed, "He's gonna have a heart attack!"
"Yeah, he will, if you're planning on eating that," James muttered, moving the chili out of Sirius' reach.
Sirius scowled and bit into a chicken leg.
* * * * *
The second group of Marauders had just eaten, so they decided to skip on the Three Broomsticks. Besides, as Brenwynne pointed out, they didn't really need to brush up on their multiplication tables.
They headed instead to Zonko's, but soon realized it was too crowded; No way were all three of them going to get anywhere in there without stepping on someone. Peter decided to go to Honeydukes, but Sirius and Brenwynne were both still full from lunch, and decided to head out behind the Shrieking Shack and beyond Hogsmeade grounds instead, where they weren't very likely to be seen. They had to be careful, because Peter had the Invisibility Cloak.
Once behind the shack, Brenwynne and Sirius began discussing plans for further pranks on the Slytherins. They were really a great planning team, because Sirius was frankly brilliant when it came to ways to humiliate people, and Brenwynne knew ways around all the rules.
"No," Brenwynne was arguing, "I think we've already overdone the whole 'pink' concept. Instead, we should-"
Sirius suddenly leaned over and kissed her.
After a moment, he pulled away and said, "So. Will you go out with me?"
Brenwynne just looked at him for a minute, and Sirius almost wished he hadn't kissed her, so frightening was her silence, until at last she said,
"Of course I will. I love you, you BigFatSuperIdiotDork."