Chapter Five: Truth Or Dare.OR. "I think I swallowed the String."
That evening, the six Gryffindors were congratulating themselves on their
Hogsmeade trip, which had gone wonderfully, except that Frank now had to
see the school counselor for schizophrenia.
"So," James said, "Did you guys do anything interesting?"
"Not really," Peter began. But Sirius broke in, "I got a girlfriend!"
Lily, James, and Remus all glanced at Peter for a second, then Sirius said, "Brenwynne is now officially mine!"
"Oh," James sighed with relief, "That's nice."
"So, how did that happen?" Lily asked interestedly.
"I guess she just couldn't resist my masculine charms any longer," Sirius said cockily, "That and I haven't had any chili in days."
Brenwynne snorted. "Sirius, you are such a bloody crackhead," she laughed.
"But that's why you love me?" Sirius finished hopefully.
"No," Brenwynne answered, "that's why you're always high as a kite-"
"No," James amended, "He's as high as Dexter Creevy pulls up his pants."
All but Lily laughed at that. Lily, though, said, "James, leave Dexter alone. The other students pick on him enough as it is, and he's in our House."
"You're no fun," James complained.
"So, what do we do now?" Remus wondered.
"Well." Peter said, "We could all go play in the Porta-Potty by the Quidditch field."
"You're kidding, right?" Sirius asked.
"Um.Yes. Yes I am," Peter replied.
"We could go harass the Slytherins," James suggested lightly.
"Nah, we've done that already this week," Sirius said lazily.
"How 'bout we just hang out?" Lily said, as she was getting rather tired.
"No," Sirius said, "Because we're going to play Truth Or Dare."
The six sat in a circle.
"I go first," Sirius said, "'Cause it was my idea."
"Fine," the rest agreed.
"WAIT!" James yelled, "We need to set up a penalty in case someone chickens out of a Dare!"
"Okay, that's easy enough," Lily said, "Anyone who refuses a Dare has to spend an hour alone in the Porta-Potty.
"I'm not sure that'll be a punishment for all of us," Brenwynne said, glancing at Peter, but she agreed to the Penalty.
"Okay, Jamesy-Wamesy," Sirius said, "Truth or Dare?"
James, fully expecting to hear himself say "Dare," at the last minute decided he wasn't quite feeling up to one of Sirius' dares yet.
"Truth," he said.
Sirius looked disappointed, but soon recovered and asked,
"How old were you when you stopped writing your name inside your skivvies?" Sirius asked gleefully, for he had known James his entire life, and already knew the answer, and it was humiliating.
"Fourteen," he muttered, "but it's because I have a brother who's only a couple of years older than me and."
"And you were afraid he was gonna steal your dainties?" Remus cracked.
"Okay, Wolf-Boy, It's your turn now. Truth Or Dare?" James challenged.
"Truth."
"Okay.Hmm.have you ever kissed a girl before?"
"Yes."
The other five, who had assumed that his lycanthropy would have intimidated him too much to allow him to do this, looked at him in surprise.
"Really? Who?" Sirius asked.
"Not saying," Remus replied, "Only one question, and I already answered it. My turn to choose someone. Lily, Truth or Dare?"
"Hmm.Truth," she said, "Only because I don't feel like getting up."
"Okay." Remus searched for a question that would be amusing, but not too embarrassing. He didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
"Have you ever fallen off a Broomstick?"
Lily laughed. "Loads of times," she said, "Once I even broke a couple of ribs."
"Okay, my turn," she said, "Hmm.James, Truth Or Dare?"
"Hey, no fair!" Peter said, "He already went!"
"Oh, well," James said, "You can choose whoever you want, it wouldn't be any fun otherwise."
"Well?" Lily asked.
"Oh.Right," James said, "Dare."
"All right," Lily thought for a minute, "I dare you to kiss Peter in his rat form."
"No fair!" Peter said, "Double humiliation!"
"Hey, you wanted to be involved," Lily said.
So Peter transformed, and James gingerly picked him up by the tail and pecked his side gingerly. He then dropped Peter quickly and recoiled.
Peter transformed back, blushing, and James said awkwardly, "Right.I choose.uh.Brenwynne. Truth or Dare."
"Dare," she said in a bored tone of voice.
"Okay," James said, " I dare you to run around the common room three times singing a nursery song."
"Easy," she said, and leapt around the common room, over chairs, under tables, right past the fireplace, on top of armchairs, between chatting students, singing "The farmer in the dell! The farmer in the dell! Heigh- ho, the dairy-o, the farmer in the dell!" in a very loud, very off-key voice.
After her third circle, she rejoined her hysterical group ("Heigh-ho, the DAIRY-O, the Cheese stands A-LOOOOONE!") and said, "Okay. BigFatSuperIdiotDork, Truth or Dare?"
"Dare," Sirius grinned.
"I dare you," she began, pausing for effect, "To ask Snape to the Winter Ball in Hogsmeade."
"WHAT?!" Sirius yelled.
"You don't have to actually go with him," Brenwynne assured him, "You just have to ask him."
"NO WAY." Sirius yelled, "THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THAT I AM GOING TO ASK SEVERUS SNAPE TO GO TO THE BALL WITH M-Hey, wait a minute. Who has to wear the dress?" he asked interestedly, always on the lookout for new ways to humiliate Snape.
James rolled his eyes. "Neither one of you," he answered, "Didn't you hear what Bren said? You don't have to actually go with him."
Lily giggled. "I think you'd look great in a frilly pink dress, Sir," she teased.
Peter and Remus sniggered.
"I can't do it," Sirius whined, "I just can't!"
"Well, you know what that means," James said, "To the Porta-Potty."
"Can I come too?" Peter queried.
They all looked at him for a minute.
"Just kidding," he assured them.
"No." Sirius said, "I am NOT going in there. I'm too young to die."
And so it was that the six trooped to the Slytherin wing of the school, below the dungeons.
"Here it goes," Sirius said, pounding on the door to the Slytherin common room.
It was Malfoy who swung open the door.
"What?" he asked, sneering.
"Snape around?" Sirius asked, "That bloody git?"
"What do you want him for?" Malfoy asked suspiciously.
"Not any of your concern," Sirius answered tightly, "Unless of course you want me to pound your face in-"
"Sev!" Malfoy called across the common room.
All six of the Marauders sniggered.
Severus Snape, in all his greasiness, appeared suddenly in the doorway.
"What the hell do you want?" he sneered, his lip curling.
"Will you go the Winter Ball with me, Sevvie-pooh?" Sirius asked, batting his eyelashes, "You looked so cute in braids.Not a bad rack, either-"
Snape slammed the door in Sirius' face.
The six made their way back to the Gryffindor common room, laughing hysterically.
"I," Sirius declared, "Am brilliant. I humiliated Snape yet again."
"Hey, I came up with the dare." Brenwynne pouted.
"Yeah," Sirius argued, "But I'm the one that turned it into utter Snape humiliation."
"Whaddya want?" Brenwynne shot back, "A medal or a cookie?"
"Hmm." Sirius replied, "How 'bout a cookie on a string?"
"So," James said, "Did you guys do anything interesting?"
"Not really," Peter began. But Sirius broke in, "I got a girlfriend!"
Lily, James, and Remus all glanced at Peter for a second, then Sirius said, "Brenwynne is now officially mine!"
"Oh," James sighed with relief, "That's nice."
"So, how did that happen?" Lily asked interestedly.
"I guess she just couldn't resist my masculine charms any longer," Sirius said cockily, "That and I haven't had any chili in days."
Brenwynne snorted. "Sirius, you are such a bloody crackhead," she laughed.
"But that's why you love me?" Sirius finished hopefully.
"No," Brenwynne answered, "that's why you're always high as a kite-"
"No," James amended, "He's as high as Dexter Creevy pulls up his pants."
All but Lily laughed at that. Lily, though, said, "James, leave Dexter alone. The other students pick on him enough as it is, and he's in our House."
"You're no fun," James complained.
"So, what do we do now?" Remus wondered.
"Well." Peter said, "We could all go play in the Porta-Potty by the Quidditch field."
"You're kidding, right?" Sirius asked.
"Um.Yes. Yes I am," Peter replied.
"We could go harass the Slytherins," James suggested lightly.
"Nah, we've done that already this week," Sirius said lazily.
"How 'bout we just hang out?" Lily said, as she was getting rather tired.
"No," Sirius said, "Because we're going to play Truth Or Dare."
The six sat in a circle.
"I go first," Sirius said, "'Cause it was my idea."
"Fine," the rest agreed.
"WAIT!" James yelled, "We need to set up a penalty in case someone chickens out of a Dare!"
"Okay, that's easy enough," Lily said, "Anyone who refuses a Dare has to spend an hour alone in the Porta-Potty.
"I'm not sure that'll be a punishment for all of us," Brenwynne said, glancing at Peter, but she agreed to the Penalty.
"Okay, Jamesy-Wamesy," Sirius said, "Truth or Dare?"
James, fully expecting to hear himself say "Dare," at the last minute decided he wasn't quite feeling up to one of Sirius' dares yet.
"Truth," he said.
Sirius looked disappointed, but soon recovered and asked,
"How old were you when you stopped writing your name inside your skivvies?" Sirius asked gleefully, for he had known James his entire life, and already knew the answer, and it was humiliating.
"Fourteen," he muttered, "but it's because I have a brother who's only a couple of years older than me and."
"And you were afraid he was gonna steal your dainties?" Remus cracked.
"Okay, Wolf-Boy, It's your turn now. Truth Or Dare?" James challenged.
"Truth."
"Okay.Hmm.have you ever kissed a girl before?"
"Yes."
The other five, who had assumed that his lycanthropy would have intimidated him too much to allow him to do this, looked at him in surprise.
"Really? Who?" Sirius asked.
"Not saying," Remus replied, "Only one question, and I already answered it. My turn to choose someone. Lily, Truth or Dare?"
"Hmm.Truth," she said, "Only because I don't feel like getting up."
"Okay." Remus searched for a question that would be amusing, but not too embarrassing. He didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
"Have you ever fallen off a Broomstick?"
Lily laughed. "Loads of times," she said, "Once I even broke a couple of ribs."
"Okay, my turn," she said, "Hmm.James, Truth Or Dare?"
"Hey, no fair!" Peter said, "He already went!"
"Oh, well," James said, "You can choose whoever you want, it wouldn't be any fun otherwise."
"Well?" Lily asked.
"Oh.Right," James said, "Dare."
"All right," Lily thought for a minute, "I dare you to kiss Peter in his rat form."
"No fair!" Peter said, "Double humiliation!"
"Hey, you wanted to be involved," Lily said.
So Peter transformed, and James gingerly picked him up by the tail and pecked his side gingerly. He then dropped Peter quickly and recoiled.
Peter transformed back, blushing, and James said awkwardly, "Right.I choose.uh.Brenwynne. Truth or Dare."
"Dare," she said in a bored tone of voice.
"Okay," James said, " I dare you to run around the common room three times singing a nursery song."
"Easy," she said, and leapt around the common room, over chairs, under tables, right past the fireplace, on top of armchairs, between chatting students, singing "The farmer in the dell! The farmer in the dell! Heigh- ho, the dairy-o, the farmer in the dell!" in a very loud, very off-key voice.
After her third circle, she rejoined her hysterical group ("Heigh-ho, the DAIRY-O, the Cheese stands A-LOOOOONE!") and said, "Okay. BigFatSuperIdiotDork, Truth or Dare?"
"Dare," Sirius grinned.
"I dare you," she began, pausing for effect, "To ask Snape to the Winter Ball in Hogsmeade."
"WHAT?!" Sirius yelled.
"You don't have to actually go with him," Brenwynne assured him, "You just have to ask him."
"NO WAY." Sirius yelled, "THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THAT I AM GOING TO ASK SEVERUS SNAPE TO GO TO THE BALL WITH M-Hey, wait a minute. Who has to wear the dress?" he asked interestedly, always on the lookout for new ways to humiliate Snape.
James rolled his eyes. "Neither one of you," he answered, "Didn't you hear what Bren said? You don't have to actually go with him."
Lily giggled. "I think you'd look great in a frilly pink dress, Sir," she teased.
Peter and Remus sniggered.
"I can't do it," Sirius whined, "I just can't!"
"Well, you know what that means," James said, "To the Porta-Potty."
"Can I come too?" Peter queried.
They all looked at him for a minute.
"Just kidding," he assured them.
"No." Sirius said, "I am NOT going in there. I'm too young to die."
And so it was that the six trooped to the Slytherin wing of the school, below the dungeons.
"Here it goes," Sirius said, pounding on the door to the Slytherin common room.
It was Malfoy who swung open the door.
"What?" he asked, sneering.
"Snape around?" Sirius asked, "That bloody git?"
"What do you want him for?" Malfoy asked suspiciously.
"Not any of your concern," Sirius answered tightly, "Unless of course you want me to pound your face in-"
"Sev!" Malfoy called across the common room.
All six of the Marauders sniggered.
Severus Snape, in all his greasiness, appeared suddenly in the doorway.
"What the hell do you want?" he sneered, his lip curling.
"Will you go the Winter Ball with me, Sevvie-pooh?" Sirius asked, batting his eyelashes, "You looked so cute in braids.Not a bad rack, either-"
Snape slammed the door in Sirius' face.
The six made their way back to the Gryffindor common room, laughing hysterically.
"I," Sirius declared, "Am brilliant. I humiliated Snape yet again."
"Hey, I came up with the dare." Brenwynne pouted.
"Yeah," Sirius argued, "But I'm the one that turned it into utter Snape humiliation."
"Whaddya want?" Brenwynne shot back, "A medal or a cookie?"
"Hmm." Sirius replied, "How 'bout a cookie on a string?"