Destiny Lost
#1: In the Space of a Heartbeat
Authors: Sonya and Erin
E-mail: sonyajeb@swbell.net OR carynsilver@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: B/X, AU, action/adventure, romance
Summary: An accident seconds before being chosen causes the Slayer Essence to skip Buffy, leaving her a normal girl. Then, a year and a half later, her mom's new job and her parents' divorce brings Buffy and her mother to Sunnydale, where Buffy comes in contact with the world of the night and a young man dedicated to its destruction.
Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up.
Distribution: Sure, just let us know where it is!
Feedback: Love it! We want to know your likes AND dislikes. Flames are the only thing we do not accept.
Spoilers: Basic BtVS mythology and vampire/slayer lore
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Chapter 6
The Library
Buffy moaned. Her head hurt. And so did her whole body. She opened her eyes and saw a male form leaning over her. For a minute it looked like Bobby. It was the day of the accident all over again. Her legs became a searing mass of agony.
"No," Buffy said over and over again, "no, no, no ... not this time!"
She sat up quickly and threw the blanket off of her. She had to see her legs! She ran her fingers along them from ankle to the hem of her dress. The white tights had been torn. Angry, red, puffy scars were visible. But scars meant healing, and that meant that Buffy was fine. She took several deep breaths and gradually calmed down. Then she looked up at the boy and Bobby became Xander. She blushed a dark red. He wouldn't understand her reaction, and she didn't want to talk about the accident. Not now. She was trying to leave all that behind.
Buffy pulled the blanket back up over her legs -- the pain had subsided once she figured out when she really was -- and tried to smile. It was shaky. And so was her voice.
"What happened?" she asked Xander. His face, especially his eyes, was incredibly sad. Buffy raised her hand a little, wanting to touch his face.
Her eyes focused on her hand. Two nails had been roughly broken off and a cuticle was torn and bleeding. Her face felt sore, as did her body. Then it slowly began coming back -- Linus the vampire, his invincibility and then Xander saving her. Xander knowing how to kill a vampire.
"Oh..." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. "That really happened didn't it?" From Xander's eyes she could tell it had. Part of Buffy was bewildered, but the other part of Buffy felt like the world was finally making sense. Somehow her subconscious had known of these horrors long before the rest of her mind. The world seemed new and different and more terrifying, but it was all understandable.
She looked Xander square in the eyes and said, "You have to tell me everything. How did you know about those creatures? Where did they come from? Who else knows? In fact, why doesn't everyone know? Shouldn't the police department or somebody have a force to deploy to exterminate these creatures?"
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Giles pretended to watch Sonya search through the school's database for Miss Summers' records, but really his attention was on the girl and Xander. Xander couldn't afford to be distracted, not at this crucial juncture. Every minute that slipped away without them finding a spell to reverse Sonya's paralysis brought them closer to the Council's deadline. And if Xander allowed himself to make even one mistake, the Council would be onto them like butter on a scone. And, worse, Xander would probably be dead.
The Watcher noticed the girl's reaction when she regained consciousness, and was impressed in spite of himself. Most of the population of Sunnydale were adept at fooling themselves. Gang members on PCP was the most frequent lie. Their puny brains just couldn't handle the concept of something they couldn't control or explain by science. Miss Summers was a bit agitated, but she seemed to be taking it in stride instead of lying to herself.
A whistle sounded from his office, and Giles went in to find the water he'd set to boil ready for a tea bag. But instead of making a cup of Earl Grey for himself, he mixed up a cup and diluted it with lemon and sugar the way Americans seemed to like it, and took it to Miss Summers. She would need the calming warmth of something in her stomach much more than he. He got there just in time to hear her last barrage of questions.
"Here you are, Miss Summers," he said, handing her the cup of tea. "Drink a little and you'll feel better."
She obediently sipped the beverage, frowning a little at the taste, but not saying anything but a quiet thank you.
Giles reached into his pocket and pulled out two items. He laid them on the bed next to her. "These should help protect you if you get attacked again." He pointed to the cross. "This will cause any vampire pain enough to cower back." He pointed to the stake, "And this, through the heart, is lethal. But you can't tell anyone of what you have seen tonight."
Belligerence became evident on her face. "Why not? Everyone needs to know about this! If not, they'll be mice in a trap."
"Perhaps, perhaps not, Miss Summers." Giles sighed. "We're doing the best we can here, and overall we're succeeding pretty well."
"You can't be everywhere at once!" she protested vehemently.
Giles nodded. "True enough, but this is the way it has to be done, as well as the way it's always been done. Most of the people in this town could not handle the truth."
"That's bull!" Anger flashed in her eyes, bespeaking an inner strength belied by her beauty. "If I can handle it, anyone can."
"No, that's not true." His voice was firm, yet not raised in anger. "The people of Sunnydale have had ample opportunity to see the truth. They choose not to, so we battle the forces of darkness ourselves. And isn't it better for them not to know and to be able to enjoy their lives?"
She didn't say anything, but he could tell she didn't believe him.
He continued, "Now then, as soon as you've finished your tea, Xander will escort you home."
"I don't want to go home," she exclaimed. "I want to find the answers!"
"None of us here," Giles looked significantly at Xander, "are at liberty to divulge our secrets. We saved you -- rather, Xander saved you. The best way for you to repay that debt is for you to leave and pretend tonight never happened."
He could see she was still ready to argue, but suddenly the silent atmosphere of the library was interrupted by the phone's shrill ringing. Giles gave both Xander and Miss Summers one more intense, stern glance and then headed for his office to answer the phone.
"Hello?" he said into the black receiver.
"It's me." The voice on the other end was familiar, despite the obscuring static from an overseas call.
"Angel," Giles said, relief evident in his voice. Angel, the vampire cursed with a human soul, was one of their best warriors. When he was in Sunnydale, he patrolled even better than Xander, but only because of Angel's super-human strength. Xander had a bit more ingenuity than the vampire, but then, being a normal human and not a slayer, he had to. Between the pair of men, Sunnydale was all the safer. Angel and Sonya had had words at first, but finally the vampire convinced them of his loyalty to the side of good, even though Angel and Sonya never had gotten along. And after the accident, Giles was glad enough for the vampire's help. Angel could get away easier than any of the rest of them, and for this mission, Giles couldn't use his regular contacts in the Council. There was only one person in England whom Giles could trust with a secret of this magnitude -- the rest of the Council had to be kept in the dark, or Sonya's life would be forfit. So Angel had gone to England on the first overnight flight they could find. It had been a challenge, but somehow they'd found a way to do it with out getting Angel killed by the sun's rays. "How are things there? Did you find anything?"
Angel's voice wasn't happy. "I've scoured the magic stores here. They are some of the oldest in Europe. No one knows of the kind of spell we need. They say it never existed. I'm going to try and get into the Council's headquarters tomorrow night. And if I end up with nothing there, I can try France or Italy."
"If any such spell exists, it will be in the Council archives," Giles said with a confidence he did not feel. "You still have my keys, and my copies of the building plans and alarm codes, don't you? Oh, yes, and the ammulet to get past the anti-vampire ward spell around the compound?"
"Yes, things should go fine. Unless your contact decides not to invite me in."
"He'll come through for us," Giles assured him. "I talked to him this morning. He's expecting your arrival."
"I'll call tomorrow to let you know how it goes," Angel promised. "How are things there?"
Giles glanced through his office window at Xander and Buffy still sitting on the cot, talking. "We've had an unforeseen occurrence. But nothing supernatural. We'll be able to handle it."
"Any activity on the Willow or Spike fronts?"
"None so far. I'm sure they'll re-surface again soon. Just when we don't need them."
Giles could hear the ironic smile on Angel's face through the phone wires. "Of course, that's what the love birds like to do best."
"Oh, Angel..." Giles hesitated, unsure whether to take the vampire into his confidence about their three month deadline. Was there anything Angel could do to stop it? He decided not to mention the problem. Perhaps another solution would present itself, especially if Angel was able to find the desired spell.
"Yes, Giles?" Angel asked. "I've got to get off of this pay phone soon ... I'm running out of change and I've got to get back to the hostel before sunrise."
Giles made a decision. He wouldn't tell Angel, but if the vampire happened to find out while searching for needed information that would be all right. "While you're there, look up Sonya in their records. See what they know and if they suspect anything is amiss." The Council wouldn't tell Giles more than they thought he needed to know, and what they thought he needed to know just wasn't enough.
"Will do," Angel replied. Then he hung up.
Giles placed the receiver back in the cradle, and walked back over to Sonya. She was staring at Xander and the girl, and there was something about her eyes. "Is everything all right?"
Sonya looked up at Giles and smiled a somewhat strained smile. "I'm fine, Giles. Just a little tired, that's all." Glancing over at where Buffy was now awake and talking to Xander, Sonya added, "Since she's conscious again, I'm guessing that we don't need me to look up her address anymore. So I'm gonna shut down the computer and head home, okay?"
"That would be fine," Giles muttered distractedly, his eyes still on Xander and the girl. Then the words she had said sunk in and he looked down at Sonya. She looked tired, purple circles decorated the skin beneath her eyes, and her face drooped sadly. He realized that with all his preoccupation *about* the injured Slayer, he hadn't paid much attention *to* the Slayer lately.
"No," he said, touching her shoulder and moving so that he stood between her and her view of the cot. "Tell me what's wrong."
Sonya shrugged off the comforting hand that Giles had placed on her shoulder and looked straight into his eyes. In a strained voice, she replied, "I don't need a babysitter, Giles. And I don't need you pretending to be the father-figure that I never had, so give it up." As Sonya spoke, her eyes grew cold and hard. "I managed just fine without your pity and sympathy before and I will continue to do so in the future. Don't you get it yet? You're my Watcher, Giles, but you're not my father and you're not my friend, as much as you might like things to be different. So deal with it and move on, already!"
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In the darkness outside the library, Spike lurked. There was a certain window that if you cracked it open just a bit, you could hear almost everything that the whitehats were talking about. And tonight there was a new girlie in the mix. It was almost worth losing Linus on his inaugural kill to find out about this beauty. And now the beauty was cozying up to Xander, the pseudo-Slayer.
But the big question still wasn't answered. Where was Angel? After Angel had killed Dru -- the thought still made Spike livid -- Spike had vowed vengeance. Even after six months of Willow's loving embraces, the blond vampire still raged against his sire. Angel would pay, and Spike would be the one to make him!
There was a phone call, but try as he might, Spike couldn't hear what went on. The vampire was willing to bet his last shilling, or his last quart of stolen blood, that it was Angel on the other end of the line. But there was no way to find out where the whitehats had taken, or sent, him.
Spike's eyes again fastened on the pseudo-Slayer and his new girlie. Willow would love to hear about this. Then he left, heading for the factory and his lady of the evening.
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After the librarian left to answer the phone, Buffy looked up at Xander. "Please tell me what's going on! I know he doesn't want you to, but I swear I won't tell anyone. I need to know. I need to at least be able to keep myself and my mother safe, even if you guys won't let me help you..."
Something else crossed her mind, and she blurted it out, too. "And if he makes you keep secrets from me I'm afraid I'll never see you again."
Xander held up a hand, silencing Buffy's diatribe. Then he took a deep breath and said, "Maybe it's best if you DON'T see me again, Buffy." He felt his heart break at each word, but he forced himself to say it, knowing that it was for the best. If he let Buffy into his life, she would be in danger from Spike, Willow and the other vampires, and Xander wasn't about to let that happen to her.
Buffy sighed. "You can do whatever you want. I can't stop you. But now that I know what is out there, you can be sure that I'm never going to forget it -- no matter what you and the librarian say!"
She stood, regardless of sore legs, bruises and skinned knees. "I need to go home now. My mother will be worried."
Xander nodded, standing up as well. Inside he felt like someone had placed one of his own stakes through his heart, but on the outside he was the epitome of calm and detached. "All right, I'll escort you home. Just let me tell Giles what's going on, first."
Xander left Buffy by the cot for a minute and walked over to speak to Giles and Sonya. "Hey, guys. I'm gonna make sure Buffy gets home safely and then I'll be right..." Xander trailed off, sensing the tension filled the air. Placing a protective hand on Sonya's shoulder, he asked in a quiet voice, "Is everything okay over here?"
Sonya bristled under Xander's touch and yanked her arm away. Her voice began to rise as she cried, "What IS it with you two? You act like I'm made of glass!" She was practically yelling now but she didn't care. "I'm not going to break, not again! So stop trying to protect me from everything!"
Turning on Xander, she accused, "You act like you're some kind of God-send, but in reality, you're just a scared boy who can't stand the fact that his best friend became a demon and has a yen for him! So to escape from that you go out and kill the bad things. But you can't even do THAT right can you? Willow has given you so many chances to kill her and end the whole war, but you can't even bring yourself to do it! You're a weakling!"
Sonya turned her gaze to Buffy for an instant and then turned her wrath back on the pseudo-Slayer. "And now to make matters worse, you're letting this blonde bimbo distract you from your duties!"
At Xander's shocked expression, Sonya snorted, "Yeah, you think I didn't see it? How you stare at her when you think no one's looking? How whenever little Miss Buffy comes into the room, you can't concentrate on anything else but her? Puh-lease! It's so painfully obvious, even Giles saw it, he was just too polite to say anything." Sonya reached out and grabbed Xander's arm, pulling him down to her level, and said in a lower voice, "If you want to drool over the blonde, do it on your own time, Slayer-boy! Capeche?" With that, Sonya turned her wheelchair around and headed for the doors, calling over her shoulder, "If you need me, I'll be in my cell."
Once outside the library doors, Sonya broke down crying in huge sobs. What had she done? Xander and Giles were the only two people in the world that she actually cared about and she'd just exploded at them. And the things she'd said to Xander... Sonya began to slowly wheel herself down the halls and out the door of the school building, not caring if there were vampires out or not. All she could see was Xander's face when she'd flaunted her knowledge of his feelings for Buffy, throwing it all back in his face. She didn't know how he could ever possibly forgive her, but one thing was for sure, she knew that she would never forgive herself.
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Buffy had watched the scene unfold with an overwhelming sense of helplessness. She didn't know about 'slaying' and 'watching,' but she figured it had something to do with vampires. Everything these people did seemed to be about vampires. Both Xander and Mr. Giles looked stunned and neither of them said anything. She felt bad for them, especially for Xander who really looked hurt, but her heart went out to the other girl. Buffy remembered clearly the cell that one found in a wheelchair.
"Um..." Buffy stared at Xander, her heart in her eyes, but she didn't know what to say to make it better. She looked at the library doors, which were still swinging. "I'll be back. Don't leave without me?" She realized that was lame, but she jogged out into the shadowed hallway, regardless if Xander was following her. If he was, she hoped he knew enough to stay back.
She looked down the hall just in time to see Sonya maneuver her chair out the door. Buffy ran after her. "Wait!" When she propelled through the outside doors she found Sonya sobbing as if her heart would break. Buffy moved in front of Sonya and crouched down.
"Hey," she said quietly, "if you need to talk to someone, I'm here." She paused and then tried to smile. "I'll be honest -- I did resent the bimbo remark, but I think I might know a little of what you're going through."
From the look on Sonya's face, Buffy thought the girl was about to protest, so she started talking quickly. "You don't believe it to look at me, do you?" Buffy leaned down and grabbed the torn part of her opaque white tights. She ripped them open all the way down her right leg. Puffy, red scars became visible, even in the moonlight.
"Almost two years ago, I was run over by a truck. I was in traction for months, a wheelchair and braces after that. It's taken me a long time to get back to the woman you see before you..." Buffy tried to smile and make light of her statement, but it was too close to her. A tear slipped from the corner of one eye.
"I don't know why I told you that," Buffy said to Sonya's unresponsive face. "You probably don't want me messing in your life. I mean, I got better -- am I correct in assuming you won't? Even when I was in your fix I didn't want to talk to anyone. But now, I think it might have been easier if I talked. So, if you want me to go, I'll go, but I'm here if you need someone to talk to that might have even the smallest chance at understanding."
Sonya scowled at Buffy, hastily wiping the tears off of her cheeks. She averted her eyes for a moment, and then looked back at Buffy, with a hint of apology in her eyes but plenty of anger as well. "Look, I'm sorry for the bimbo thing. That was kinda out of line. But if you expect me to suddenly become your best friend just because you had to be in a wheelchair before, then you're seriously deluding yourself, Summers. So, do me a favor and back off, okay?"
Buffy shrugged. "Whatever. I just wanted to make the offer." She realized that her words might have sounded cold. Buffy was at the end of her emotional rope. She had experienced the gamut of emotions tonight -- everything from the joy of making a new friend, to the terror of being attacked, to the frustration of realizing that everything she'd thought she'd known about the world was a lie.
She sighed. Buffy remembered feeling bitterness like Sonya's. If not for the loving care of her mother, Buffy might still hate everyone. She looked the other girl in the eyes. "I can see why you don't want to talk to a complete stranger -- even though sometimes that makes it easier -- that's why therapists make all that money." Buffy had to consciously make herself stop rambling and pick up the threads of her original point. "Anyway, you should talk to someone. That anger can lock up your heart and ruin your life. It doesn't hurt anyone but you, you know? My mom helped me through that phase of recovery. You need to find someone who can help you."
After she had said her piece, Buffy turned and started the long walk home, totally forgetting that Xander was supposed to escort her. She hoped that Sonya would be able to work out her issues and she really wished she could help her out with that, but until Sonya actually admitted that she needed help, there was nothing more that Buffy could do for her.
#1: In the Space of a Heartbeat
Authors: Sonya and Erin
E-mail: sonyajeb@swbell.net OR carynsilver@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: B/X, AU, action/adventure, romance
Summary: An accident seconds before being chosen causes the Slayer Essence to skip Buffy, leaving her a normal girl. Then, a year and a half later, her mom's new job and her parents' divorce brings Buffy and her mother to Sunnydale, where Buffy comes in contact with the world of the night and a young man dedicated to its destruction.
Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up.
Distribution: Sure, just let us know where it is!
Feedback: Love it! We want to know your likes AND dislikes. Flames are the only thing we do not accept.
Spoilers: Basic BtVS mythology and vampire/slayer lore
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Chapter 6
The Library
Buffy moaned. Her head hurt. And so did her whole body. She opened her eyes and saw a male form leaning over her. For a minute it looked like Bobby. It was the day of the accident all over again. Her legs became a searing mass of agony.
"No," Buffy said over and over again, "no, no, no ... not this time!"
She sat up quickly and threw the blanket off of her. She had to see her legs! She ran her fingers along them from ankle to the hem of her dress. The white tights had been torn. Angry, red, puffy scars were visible. But scars meant healing, and that meant that Buffy was fine. She took several deep breaths and gradually calmed down. Then she looked up at the boy and Bobby became Xander. She blushed a dark red. He wouldn't understand her reaction, and she didn't want to talk about the accident. Not now. She was trying to leave all that behind.
Buffy pulled the blanket back up over her legs -- the pain had subsided once she figured out when she really was -- and tried to smile. It was shaky. And so was her voice.
"What happened?" she asked Xander. His face, especially his eyes, was incredibly sad. Buffy raised her hand a little, wanting to touch his face.
Her eyes focused on her hand. Two nails had been roughly broken off and a cuticle was torn and bleeding. Her face felt sore, as did her body. Then it slowly began coming back -- Linus the vampire, his invincibility and then Xander saving her. Xander knowing how to kill a vampire.
"Oh..." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. "That really happened didn't it?" From Xander's eyes she could tell it had. Part of Buffy was bewildered, but the other part of Buffy felt like the world was finally making sense. Somehow her subconscious had known of these horrors long before the rest of her mind. The world seemed new and different and more terrifying, but it was all understandable.
She looked Xander square in the eyes and said, "You have to tell me everything. How did you know about those creatures? Where did they come from? Who else knows? In fact, why doesn't everyone know? Shouldn't the police department or somebody have a force to deploy to exterminate these creatures?"
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Giles pretended to watch Sonya search through the school's database for Miss Summers' records, but really his attention was on the girl and Xander. Xander couldn't afford to be distracted, not at this crucial juncture. Every minute that slipped away without them finding a spell to reverse Sonya's paralysis brought them closer to the Council's deadline. And if Xander allowed himself to make even one mistake, the Council would be onto them like butter on a scone. And, worse, Xander would probably be dead.
The Watcher noticed the girl's reaction when she regained consciousness, and was impressed in spite of himself. Most of the population of Sunnydale were adept at fooling themselves. Gang members on PCP was the most frequent lie. Their puny brains just couldn't handle the concept of something they couldn't control or explain by science. Miss Summers was a bit agitated, but she seemed to be taking it in stride instead of lying to herself.
A whistle sounded from his office, and Giles went in to find the water he'd set to boil ready for a tea bag. But instead of making a cup of Earl Grey for himself, he mixed up a cup and diluted it with lemon and sugar the way Americans seemed to like it, and took it to Miss Summers. She would need the calming warmth of something in her stomach much more than he. He got there just in time to hear her last barrage of questions.
"Here you are, Miss Summers," he said, handing her the cup of tea. "Drink a little and you'll feel better."
She obediently sipped the beverage, frowning a little at the taste, but not saying anything but a quiet thank you.
Giles reached into his pocket and pulled out two items. He laid them on the bed next to her. "These should help protect you if you get attacked again." He pointed to the cross. "This will cause any vampire pain enough to cower back." He pointed to the stake, "And this, through the heart, is lethal. But you can't tell anyone of what you have seen tonight."
Belligerence became evident on her face. "Why not? Everyone needs to know about this! If not, they'll be mice in a trap."
"Perhaps, perhaps not, Miss Summers." Giles sighed. "We're doing the best we can here, and overall we're succeeding pretty well."
"You can't be everywhere at once!" she protested vehemently.
Giles nodded. "True enough, but this is the way it has to be done, as well as the way it's always been done. Most of the people in this town could not handle the truth."
"That's bull!" Anger flashed in her eyes, bespeaking an inner strength belied by her beauty. "If I can handle it, anyone can."
"No, that's not true." His voice was firm, yet not raised in anger. "The people of Sunnydale have had ample opportunity to see the truth. They choose not to, so we battle the forces of darkness ourselves. And isn't it better for them not to know and to be able to enjoy their lives?"
She didn't say anything, but he could tell she didn't believe him.
He continued, "Now then, as soon as you've finished your tea, Xander will escort you home."
"I don't want to go home," she exclaimed. "I want to find the answers!"
"None of us here," Giles looked significantly at Xander, "are at liberty to divulge our secrets. We saved you -- rather, Xander saved you. The best way for you to repay that debt is for you to leave and pretend tonight never happened."
He could see she was still ready to argue, but suddenly the silent atmosphere of the library was interrupted by the phone's shrill ringing. Giles gave both Xander and Miss Summers one more intense, stern glance and then headed for his office to answer the phone.
"Hello?" he said into the black receiver.
"It's me." The voice on the other end was familiar, despite the obscuring static from an overseas call.
"Angel," Giles said, relief evident in his voice. Angel, the vampire cursed with a human soul, was one of their best warriors. When he was in Sunnydale, he patrolled even better than Xander, but only because of Angel's super-human strength. Xander had a bit more ingenuity than the vampire, but then, being a normal human and not a slayer, he had to. Between the pair of men, Sunnydale was all the safer. Angel and Sonya had had words at first, but finally the vampire convinced them of his loyalty to the side of good, even though Angel and Sonya never had gotten along. And after the accident, Giles was glad enough for the vampire's help. Angel could get away easier than any of the rest of them, and for this mission, Giles couldn't use his regular contacts in the Council. There was only one person in England whom Giles could trust with a secret of this magnitude -- the rest of the Council had to be kept in the dark, or Sonya's life would be forfit. So Angel had gone to England on the first overnight flight they could find. It had been a challenge, but somehow they'd found a way to do it with out getting Angel killed by the sun's rays. "How are things there? Did you find anything?"
Angel's voice wasn't happy. "I've scoured the magic stores here. They are some of the oldest in Europe. No one knows of the kind of spell we need. They say it never existed. I'm going to try and get into the Council's headquarters tomorrow night. And if I end up with nothing there, I can try France or Italy."
"If any such spell exists, it will be in the Council archives," Giles said with a confidence he did not feel. "You still have my keys, and my copies of the building plans and alarm codes, don't you? Oh, yes, and the ammulet to get past the anti-vampire ward spell around the compound?"
"Yes, things should go fine. Unless your contact decides not to invite me in."
"He'll come through for us," Giles assured him. "I talked to him this morning. He's expecting your arrival."
"I'll call tomorrow to let you know how it goes," Angel promised. "How are things there?"
Giles glanced through his office window at Xander and Buffy still sitting on the cot, talking. "We've had an unforeseen occurrence. But nothing supernatural. We'll be able to handle it."
"Any activity on the Willow or Spike fronts?"
"None so far. I'm sure they'll re-surface again soon. Just when we don't need them."
Giles could hear the ironic smile on Angel's face through the phone wires. "Of course, that's what the love birds like to do best."
"Oh, Angel..." Giles hesitated, unsure whether to take the vampire into his confidence about their three month deadline. Was there anything Angel could do to stop it? He decided not to mention the problem. Perhaps another solution would present itself, especially if Angel was able to find the desired spell.
"Yes, Giles?" Angel asked. "I've got to get off of this pay phone soon ... I'm running out of change and I've got to get back to the hostel before sunrise."
Giles made a decision. He wouldn't tell Angel, but if the vampire happened to find out while searching for needed information that would be all right. "While you're there, look up Sonya in their records. See what they know and if they suspect anything is amiss." The Council wouldn't tell Giles more than they thought he needed to know, and what they thought he needed to know just wasn't enough.
"Will do," Angel replied. Then he hung up.
Giles placed the receiver back in the cradle, and walked back over to Sonya. She was staring at Xander and the girl, and there was something about her eyes. "Is everything all right?"
Sonya looked up at Giles and smiled a somewhat strained smile. "I'm fine, Giles. Just a little tired, that's all." Glancing over at where Buffy was now awake and talking to Xander, Sonya added, "Since she's conscious again, I'm guessing that we don't need me to look up her address anymore. So I'm gonna shut down the computer and head home, okay?"
"That would be fine," Giles muttered distractedly, his eyes still on Xander and the girl. Then the words she had said sunk in and he looked down at Sonya. She looked tired, purple circles decorated the skin beneath her eyes, and her face drooped sadly. He realized that with all his preoccupation *about* the injured Slayer, he hadn't paid much attention *to* the Slayer lately.
"No," he said, touching her shoulder and moving so that he stood between her and her view of the cot. "Tell me what's wrong."
Sonya shrugged off the comforting hand that Giles had placed on her shoulder and looked straight into his eyes. In a strained voice, she replied, "I don't need a babysitter, Giles. And I don't need you pretending to be the father-figure that I never had, so give it up." As Sonya spoke, her eyes grew cold and hard. "I managed just fine without your pity and sympathy before and I will continue to do so in the future. Don't you get it yet? You're my Watcher, Giles, but you're not my father and you're not my friend, as much as you might like things to be different. So deal with it and move on, already!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In the darkness outside the library, Spike lurked. There was a certain window that if you cracked it open just a bit, you could hear almost everything that the whitehats were talking about. And tonight there was a new girlie in the mix. It was almost worth losing Linus on his inaugural kill to find out about this beauty. And now the beauty was cozying up to Xander, the pseudo-Slayer.
But the big question still wasn't answered. Where was Angel? After Angel had killed Dru -- the thought still made Spike livid -- Spike had vowed vengeance. Even after six months of Willow's loving embraces, the blond vampire still raged against his sire. Angel would pay, and Spike would be the one to make him!
There was a phone call, but try as he might, Spike couldn't hear what went on. The vampire was willing to bet his last shilling, or his last quart of stolen blood, that it was Angel on the other end of the line. But there was no way to find out where the whitehats had taken, or sent, him.
Spike's eyes again fastened on the pseudo-Slayer and his new girlie. Willow would love to hear about this. Then he left, heading for the factory and his lady of the evening.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After the librarian left to answer the phone, Buffy looked up at Xander. "Please tell me what's going on! I know he doesn't want you to, but I swear I won't tell anyone. I need to know. I need to at least be able to keep myself and my mother safe, even if you guys won't let me help you..."
Something else crossed her mind, and she blurted it out, too. "And if he makes you keep secrets from me I'm afraid I'll never see you again."
Xander held up a hand, silencing Buffy's diatribe. Then he took a deep breath and said, "Maybe it's best if you DON'T see me again, Buffy." He felt his heart break at each word, but he forced himself to say it, knowing that it was for the best. If he let Buffy into his life, she would be in danger from Spike, Willow and the other vampires, and Xander wasn't about to let that happen to her.
Buffy sighed. "You can do whatever you want. I can't stop you. But now that I know what is out there, you can be sure that I'm never going to forget it -- no matter what you and the librarian say!"
She stood, regardless of sore legs, bruises and skinned knees. "I need to go home now. My mother will be worried."
Xander nodded, standing up as well. Inside he felt like someone had placed one of his own stakes through his heart, but on the outside he was the epitome of calm and detached. "All right, I'll escort you home. Just let me tell Giles what's going on, first."
Xander left Buffy by the cot for a minute and walked over to speak to Giles and Sonya. "Hey, guys. I'm gonna make sure Buffy gets home safely and then I'll be right..." Xander trailed off, sensing the tension filled the air. Placing a protective hand on Sonya's shoulder, he asked in a quiet voice, "Is everything okay over here?"
Sonya bristled under Xander's touch and yanked her arm away. Her voice began to rise as she cried, "What IS it with you two? You act like I'm made of glass!" She was practically yelling now but she didn't care. "I'm not going to break, not again! So stop trying to protect me from everything!"
Turning on Xander, she accused, "You act like you're some kind of God-send, but in reality, you're just a scared boy who can't stand the fact that his best friend became a demon and has a yen for him! So to escape from that you go out and kill the bad things. But you can't even do THAT right can you? Willow has given you so many chances to kill her and end the whole war, but you can't even bring yourself to do it! You're a weakling!"
Sonya turned her gaze to Buffy for an instant and then turned her wrath back on the pseudo-Slayer. "And now to make matters worse, you're letting this blonde bimbo distract you from your duties!"
At Xander's shocked expression, Sonya snorted, "Yeah, you think I didn't see it? How you stare at her when you think no one's looking? How whenever little Miss Buffy comes into the room, you can't concentrate on anything else but her? Puh-lease! It's so painfully obvious, even Giles saw it, he was just too polite to say anything." Sonya reached out and grabbed Xander's arm, pulling him down to her level, and said in a lower voice, "If you want to drool over the blonde, do it on your own time, Slayer-boy! Capeche?" With that, Sonya turned her wheelchair around and headed for the doors, calling over her shoulder, "If you need me, I'll be in my cell."
Once outside the library doors, Sonya broke down crying in huge sobs. What had she done? Xander and Giles were the only two people in the world that she actually cared about and she'd just exploded at them. And the things she'd said to Xander... Sonya began to slowly wheel herself down the halls and out the door of the school building, not caring if there were vampires out or not. All she could see was Xander's face when she'd flaunted her knowledge of his feelings for Buffy, throwing it all back in his face. She didn't know how he could ever possibly forgive her, but one thing was for sure, she knew that she would never forgive herself.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy had watched the scene unfold with an overwhelming sense of helplessness. She didn't know about 'slaying' and 'watching,' but she figured it had something to do with vampires. Everything these people did seemed to be about vampires. Both Xander and Mr. Giles looked stunned and neither of them said anything. She felt bad for them, especially for Xander who really looked hurt, but her heart went out to the other girl. Buffy remembered clearly the cell that one found in a wheelchair.
"Um..." Buffy stared at Xander, her heart in her eyes, but she didn't know what to say to make it better. She looked at the library doors, which were still swinging. "I'll be back. Don't leave without me?" She realized that was lame, but she jogged out into the shadowed hallway, regardless if Xander was following her. If he was, she hoped he knew enough to stay back.
She looked down the hall just in time to see Sonya maneuver her chair out the door. Buffy ran after her. "Wait!" When she propelled through the outside doors she found Sonya sobbing as if her heart would break. Buffy moved in front of Sonya and crouched down.
"Hey," she said quietly, "if you need to talk to someone, I'm here." She paused and then tried to smile. "I'll be honest -- I did resent the bimbo remark, but I think I might know a little of what you're going through."
From the look on Sonya's face, Buffy thought the girl was about to protest, so she started talking quickly. "You don't believe it to look at me, do you?" Buffy leaned down and grabbed the torn part of her opaque white tights. She ripped them open all the way down her right leg. Puffy, red scars became visible, even in the moonlight.
"Almost two years ago, I was run over by a truck. I was in traction for months, a wheelchair and braces after that. It's taken me a long time to get back to the woman you see before you..." Buffy tried to smile and make light of her statement, but it was too close to her. A tear slipped from the corner of one eye.
"I don't know why I told you that," Buffy said to Sonya's unresponsive face. "You probably don't want me messing in your life. I mean, I got better -- am I correct in assuming you won't? Even when I was in your fix I didn't want to talk to anyone. But now, I think it might have been easier if I talked. So, if you want me to go, I'll go, but I'm here if you need someone to talk to that might have even the smallest chance at understanding."
Sonya scowled at Buffy, hastily wiping the tears off of her cheeks. She averted her eyes for a moment, and then looked back at Buffy, with a hint of apology in her eyes but plenty of anger as well. "Look, I'm sorry for the bimbo thing. That was kinda out of line. But if you expect me to suddenly become your best friend just because you had to be in a wheelchair before, then you're seriously deluding yourself, Summers. So, do me a favor and back off, okay?"
Buffy shrugged. "Whatever. I just wanted to make the offer." She realized that her words might have sounded cold. Buffy was at the end of her emotional rope. She had experienced the gamut of emotions tonight -- everything from the joy of making a new friend, to the terror of being attacked, to the frustration of realizing that everything she'd thought she'd known about the world was a lie.
She sighed. Buffy remembered feeling bitterness like Sonya's. If not for the loving care of her mother, Buffy might still hate everyone. She looked the other girl in the eyes. "I can see why you don't want to talk to a complete stranger -- even though sometimes that makes it easier -- that's why therapists make all that money." Buffy had to consciously make herself stop rambling and pick up the threads of her original point. "Anyway, you should talk to someone. That anger can lock up your heart and ruin your life. It doesn't hurt anyone but you, you know? My mom helped me through that phase of recovery. You need to find someone who can help you."
After she had said her piece, Buffy turned and started the long walk home, totally forgetting that Xander was supposed to escort her. She hoped that Sonya would be able to work out her issues and she really wished she could help her out with that, but until Sonya actually admitted that she needed help, there was nothing more that Buffy could do for her.