Chapter 22
Lecter put the tray down on the table and poured the coffee. He then sat in a chair opposite Clarice.
Clarice found the warmth from the candles suffocating, and his maroon eyes looked straight at her, he didn't say anything, it wasn't necessary, Clarice knew that he was waiting for her to begin her tale, even though he had probably guessed most of it.
Silence was upon them, Clarice found to unbearable, yet she didn't say anything, the sat looking at each other, once in a while sipping their coffee.
"I don't where to begin." Clarice said after a while. "Tell me Clarice, why did you choose him hmm? Why not another?" It struck Clarice that he didn't know about the four others. It gave her what she needed to start. "Hmm, he wasn't the first you know." Lecter tried to hide his surprise, but Clarice could see it. "Really?" "Yes, there was four others before him, two of which you where credited for." Clarice smiled at the recollection of the newspapers debating if it truly was Lecter.
Lecter smiled at her, a smile that would have frighten any one else, but Clarice felt warm by it. Clarice told Lecter about her agency, and the job where she just fired, the sudden feel of freedom, how the lambs had stop screaming, how she had killed the boys in the park after the opera. Clarice didn't see the light in his eyes as she told about the opera. So she was there. Lecter decided that he wanted to know about the opera.
"Tell me Clarice, how did you feel in the opera." His eyes were on fire. "Like you where there Dr. Lecter, I knew you where there, but I couldn't see you. So I let it go."
Silence was upon them again. Clarice waited for Lecter to make the next move.
Lecter got up from his seat and walked over to Clarice. "Tell me Clarice, are you a monster?" Clarice looked at Lecter for a long time, he had asked her a question that had been in her head for a long time, was she a monster? She had killed, tormented her victims, she had become all that which she had wanted to rid the world off, and now. No the silent answer in her head, said, in all the years that she know Dr. Lecter she had never thought of him as a monster, so was she? Could she be a monster?
"No Dr. Lecter I'm not a monster." Clarice looked at the floor, wondering, thinking. The room disappeared as did Lecter, Clarice was a little girl again, standing at her fathers casket, she was afraid, but there where no tears. She didn't need her fathers approval to be happy, God knows all her life she had tried to do what she thought would make her mommy and daddy proud, but in the last few weeks she had been more free, more happy then she had all her life. So what if she had to kill, she killed the ones she couldn't get as a cop, she killed those who had wronged her, and she was free, she could fly.
Lecter's voice brought her back to the room, back to Him. "Clarice are you okay? Maybe you should lay down, it is after rather late." Clarice looked at the clock it was 2:30 am. Clarice was suddenly very tired.
"Yes it's late, would you care to stay Dr. Lecter, since I didn't get to cook you dinner, maybe I could make you breakfast?" Clarice hoped he wouldn't take it the wrong way; it was no invitation to stay in her bed. Lecter looked at her. "I have a spare room." Clarice stated to make sure that he did indeed understand. "I would appreciate it." But let clean this up first. "NO, I will have none of that, I will take care of it in the morning." Lecter smiled. "As you wish my dear." Clarice showed him the way to the spare room. And after making sure that it was to his liking she began to walk down the hall.
"Clarice, I would like to compliment you on your looks, you look beautiful tonight, I love the dress." Clarice turned. "Thank you Dr. Lecter." Clarice walked down to her room and got undressed. She tried to sleep, but it was impossible, when she knew that he was here in the same house. Clarice imaging him lining in bed, his black and gray haired chest moving with his breaths.
It didn't make it better, she got up and put on her robe and went down stairs to clean up. At least it would occupy her thoughts and hopefully make her tired enough to forget about Hannibal. Clarice couldn't stop her self before her mind had used his first name.
Clarice had to sit down, the simple power his name had over her.
Lecter put the tray down on the table and poured the coffee. He then sat in a chair opposite Clarice.
Clarice found the warmth from the candles suffocating, and his maroon eyes looked straight at her, he didn't say anything, it wasn't necessary, Clarice knew that he was waiting for her to begin her tale, even though he had probably guessed most of it.
Silence was upon them, Clarice found to unbearable, yet she didn't say anything, the sat looking at each other, once in a while sipping their coffee.
"I don't where to begin." Clarice said after a while. "Tell me Clarice, why did you choose him hmm? Why not another?" It struck Clarice that he didn't know about the four others. It gave her what she needed to start. "Hmm, he wasn't the first you know." Lecter tried to hide his surprise, but Clarice could see it. "Really?" "Yes, there was four others before him, two of which you where credited for." Clarice smiled at the recollection of the newspapers debating if it truly was Lecter.
Lecter smiled at her, a smile that would have frighten any one else, but Clarice felt warm by it. Clarice told Lecter about her agency, and the job where she just fired, the sudden feel of freedom, how the lambs had stop screaming, how she had killed the boys in the park after the opera. Clarice didn't see the light in his eyes as she told about the opera. So she was there. Lecter decided that he wanted to know about the opera.
"Tell me Clarice, how did you feel in the opera." His eyes were on fire. "Like you where there Dr. Lecter, I knew you where there, but I couldn't see you. So I let it go."
Silence was upon them again. Clarice waited for Lecter to make the next move.
Lecter got up from his seat and walked over to Clarice. "Tell me Clarice, are you a monster?" Clarice looked at Lecter for a long time, he had asked her a question that had been in her head for a long time, was she a monster? She had killed, tormented her victims, she had become all that which she had wanted to rid the world off, and now. No the silent answer in her head, said, in all the years that she know Dr. Lecter she had never thought of him as a monster, so was she? Could she be a monster?
"No Dr. Lecter I'm not a monster." Clarice looked at the floor, wondering, thinking. The room disappeared as did Lecter, Clarice was a little girl again, standing at her fathers casket, she was afraid, but there where no tears. She didn't need her fathers approval to be happy, God knows all her life she had tried to do what she thought would make her mommy and daddy proud, but in the last few weeks she had been more free, more happy then she had all her life. So what if she had to kill, she killed the ones she couldn't get as a cop, she killed those who had wronged her, and she was free, she could fly.
Lecter's voice brought her back to the room, back to Him. "Clarice are you okay? Maybe you should lay down, it is after rather late." Clarice looked at the clock it was 2:30 am. Clarice was suddenly very tired.
"Yes it's late, would you care to stay Dr. Lecter, since I didn't get to cook you dinner, maybe I could make you breakfast?" Clarice hoped he wouldn't take it the wrong way; it was no invitation to stay in her bed. Lecter looked at her. "I have a spare room." Clarice stated to make sure that he did indeed understand. "I would appreciate it." But let clean this up first. "NO, I will have none of that, I will take care of it in the morning." Lecter smiled. "As you wish my dear." Clarice showed him the way to the spare room. And after making sure that it was to his liking she began to walk down the hall.
"Clarice, I would like to compliment you on your looks, you look beautiful tonight, I love the dress." Clarice turned. "Thank you Dr. Lecter." Clarice walked down to her room and got undressed. She tried to sleep, but it was impossible, when she knew that he was here in the same house. Clarice imaging him lining in bed, his black and gray haired chest moving with his breaths.
It didn't make it better, she got up and put on her robe and went down stairs to clean up. At least it would occupy her thoughts and hopefully make her tired enough to forget about Hannibal. Clarice couldn't stop her self before her mind had used his first name.
Clarice had to sit down, the simple power his name had over her.