Chapter 6: So Sorry
A/N: Sorry I this is a little short in length, but I had a perfect song for a songfic portion of this story. And in no way do I own the song or any of its lyrics. "Mirror, mirror" is the property of M2M. Hope you enjoy, even if it is a little sad.
Alex stumbled through her window. She fell on the floor as she pulled off her vest. She stayed in the same ball position for a few minutes that eventually led up to a half hour. Neit jumped off the dresser and nudged the side of Alex's face. "It's ok Neit. I'll get up, don't worry," Alex pushed herself off the floor and walked to her mirror. 'I don't like her. She turned her back on possibly the closest friend that she will ever have. That isn't me.' She started to remember a song and started to play it on her disk man.
Why don't I like the girl I see?
The one who's standing right in front of me
Why don't I think before I speak?
I should have listened to that voice inside of me
Alex fell over into her bed as Neit curled up beside her. "Why did I say that to him? Why didn't I listen to Amunet?" she thought out loud to herself. Amunet was telling her to listen, but she just shut her out and she said some of the worst things that she could every say to anyone . . . much less Yugi. 'You know he was never yours to begins with, Alex. And he was trying to tell you, explain to you.'
"I know . . . and I just told him to step out of my life. Why did I get so upset? We're just friends . . . it wouldn't make any difference if she did mean something to him or not."
'He's special to you, and you thought you were losing him. Like the way you lost the other boy.'
"But Yugi isn't like him. And never will be, he isn't like that. I must be so stupid! I'm an idiot! A complete idiot!"
I must be stupid
Must be crazy
Must be out of my mind
To say the kind of things I said last night . . .
She turned into her pillow and silent tears began to soak the light pillow cover. "How can I ever change what I did?"
'We can never change our past . . .'
Mirror, mirror hanging on the wall
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all
Mirror, mirror I wish you could lie to me
And bring my baby back
Bring my baby back to me
'The only thing that you can do now is to try and make it better. Try to achieve forgiveness.' Alex turned on her back and watched the ceiling fan spin in slow motion as she thought. She saw herself yelling at him, as he desperately tried to explain. "I was such a fool. I wish all this happened long ago. Or even last night . . . but why was I such a stupid fool?"
Mirror, mirror lie to me
Show me what I want to see
Why did I let you walk away?
When all I had to do was say I'm sorry . . .
I let my pride get in the way
And in the heat of the moment I was to blame
"I watched him. Just watched him walk away into the bushes. At any time I could have told him to stop and told him I was sorry. But I'm so stubborn I didn't even give what I was doing a second thought." She squeezed her fist tightly as she saw her knuckles turn white. "If only I could say that I'm sorry. So sorry."
I must be stupid
Must be crazy
Must be out of my mind
Now in the cold light of the day I realize
Mirror, mirror hanging on the wall
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all
Mirror, mirror I wish you could lie to me
And bring my baby back
Bring my baby back to me
She felt tired as she sniffled, buried her head in her pillow and closed her eyes.
***
Alex thought ahead to the day following this dreaded night. She would walk into the main building like always, but the group wouldn't be there to greet her. They would be in another corner, talking amongst themselves wit their old friend, Tèa. Yugi would look and see her standing by herself, but he would come over and welcome her in the circle. He would look straight through her, as if she wasn't even there. He would then turn back to the group and start laughing and whispering with Tèa. How Alex wished to every star in the night sky that the daylight should never come.
If only wishes could be dreams
And all my dreams could come true
There would be two of us standing here in front of you
If you could show me someone that I used to be
Bring back my baby
My baby to me
Alex opened her eyes and looked in the mirror after she sat up on her bed. She looked at her reflection. Although it wasn't her. It was a girl of sorrow, tear stains smeared on both sides of her face. She saw a face in the mirror, reflected by her window, it was Yugi's! She turned around hopeful he would be there, but it was only a trick on her mind. "I'm truly sorry."
Mirror, mirror hanging on the wall
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all
Mirror, mirror I wish you could lie to me
And bring my baby back . . . back
She finally whipped the spots of tears from her face and eyes, pushed herself off the bed and took the last few looks in the mirror. She grabbed her vest off the floor where she fell and climbed out the window.
Mirror, mirror hanging on the wall
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all
Mirror, mirror I wish you could lie to me
And bring my baby back
Bring my baby back to me
She ran through her yard and down the street. She passed the sheets of glass framed in the store buildings. She caught a glimpse of herself as she ran past them all.
Mirror, mirror lie to me
Show me what I want to see
She ran close to the card shop, but then passed it . . . she couldn't feel his presence there. She was being pulled in another direction, toward the park down the street. She ran through the maze of paths until she finally found him. He was walking along the path with his head down and kicking the dirt beneath him. She followed him with her eyes as he slowly trudged up the path. She slowly walked up behind him, and reached out to him, but thought better of it. And ever so softly she called out his name, "Yugi?"
He picked up his head and looked back at her, "Alex . . . what are you doing here? I thought you wanted me out of your life." She walked slowly up to him with her head low, never bringing her eyes to meet his. "I had to tell you something."
"What . . . did I do something else wrong that you want to yell at me for?"
Alex cringed as she heard the anger in his voice, "No. I just . . ." Alex finally looked up in his face. It didn't look very angry, it was more hurt then anything else and she could see the tell-tale signs of where tears once stood. She took his hand, "I'm so sorry."
He placed his other hand on hers, "I should apologize, too."
"For what? You didn't just yell at your friend when they were trying to explain something. You didn't let your pride take the best of you when you told them to walk out of your life."
"I shouldn't have just left you out on a limb like I did."
"You didn't mean to Yugi. Look, I never meant those things. I never want you out of my life," she couldn't control herself as she flung herself into his arms. "It's just that . . . I can't stand the thought . . ." she buried her head into his chest.
"What thought, Alex?" he looked down at the top of her head.
"Of you being someone else's," Alex said fast so he almost didn't catch it. "And I know it's not my decision on who you . . . It's just that ever since you gave me the gift of friendship, I have never felt the same. You have given me a new life, a new start. And the best part about it is that this new start is complete."
"Why is this start so complete?"
"Because," she looked him in the eyes. She felt like that has the single best moment of her life. The one moment she could stay in forever; being held closely in his arms as they stared into one another's eyes. "You know, not that I'm complaining," Yugi said shaking his head; apparently he was stuck in her eyes, as she was stuck in his, "But why is it so complete?"
"This start has feelings and love," she said slowly leaning in closer to Yugi. He looked at her surprised, "Is that why you were so upset, because you . . ."
"Yes," she closed the gap separating the two.
Mirror, mirror lie to me…***
Alex opened her eyes and saw Neit pawing at her face trying to wake her up, "Neit, where am I?" Neit nudged against her face and Alex noticed that all the lights were off. "Connie must have come in to check on me," Alex patted Neit on the head and tried to get up. Neit kept nudging at her face and looking at the window. Alex popped her head up, hopeful that her dream was real. She really did go and tell Yugi she was sorry, didn't she? Didn't she?
She got up and wiped the tears (and drool) from her face and got up. She looked around, but saw no sign that she actually fulfilled her task. She pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming and put her vest back on. "This time, I'm sure that this is going to be real," she climbed out the window and toward Yugi's home, with Neit not far behind.
She raced through the neighborhoods hoping that he may still be awake, and that he would forgive her. Because now she realized, she really cared for him . . . she loved him.
She made as many shortcuts as she could find which was probably a bad decision. She was being pulled in a certain direction. Like in her dream, so she knew that she had to follow it, but she kept telling herself to go another way. She ran through the park where the setting of her dream occurred, and there she saw someone walking down the path. She saw a glint of gold around the figure's neck, 'Yugi!' She ran after the person, turned the corner, and found no one, "Yugi? You here?"
"Behind you," Alex's eyes went huge, as the only thing that she remembered was her world going black.
***
Yugi tossed and turned in his bed as he replayed the scene in his head, 'Then what do you want me to say, Alex?'
'I don't want you to say anything Yugi . . . I want you to step out of my life.' Yugi opened his eyes and sat up in bed. Sweat was rolling down his face, not to mention a few tears. He wiped his face, "Not again. I've been having the same dream ever since I went to sleep. I can't do anything about it . . . she doesn't want me in her life any more. What can I do?"
Yugi could feel the presence of Yami in the back of his mind, but apparently the spirit had nothing to say. Yugi stepped out of his bed and started to pace around the room. "I have to try and talk with her again. No matter how much she wants me out of her life, and even if she won't answer me I have to try," he opened his closet and got dressed. He walked out the front and almost tripped on something going out. He looked down to see a small black form lying by the door, "Neit?"
The black cat looked up at him and gave him her small meow. "Where is Alex?" Neit grabbed a piece of material in her mouth and dropped it at Yugi's feet. Yugi picked it up and realized that it was a piece of Alex's cargo pants . . . almost socked in blood, 'Alex!'
"Where is she Neit?" The cat ran off with out a second command, and Yugi stayed close behind. They found their way trough the park to a certain place. Yugi looked around and saw Alex's vest lying on the ground, nearly ripped to shreds. He picked it up and looked around the place franticly, "Alex? Alex!" Yugi could feel the tears returning.
Yugi, don't panic! Follow your heart, Yami reminded him. Yugi closed his eyes and nodded his head. He felt himself being pulled in a direction and followed it, to wherever it led. Hopeful it would lead him to her.